#[ v: warnings of pure dread heard on the overhead in a monotonic tone. ]

[heavenlyexiled]

Oh, the Bliss will set you free...

                                                                               Oh, the Bliss is gonna make you see...

[heavenlyexiled]

“You are mine, never forget that.”

nsfw meme. accepting, you filthy sinner.

    “  john…  ”  his  name  comes  in  the  form  of  a  lengthy  moan  as  her  hips  meet  his , and  it  leaves  very  little  left  to  the  imagination.  her  arms  wrap  around  his  neck,  one  hand  coming  to  cradle  the  back  of  his  head.  even  the  cool  night  air  that  comes  in  gentle  breezes  through  the  open  windows  aren’t  enough  to  extinguish  the  heat  blazing  her  skin.  his  arm  around  her  waist  burns,  she  can  even  feel  the  small  beads  of  sweat  from  it.

    john  always  knew  how  to  rile  her  up.  how  to  make  her  submit  so  easily  to  him.  what  set  her  over  the  edge,  what  had  her  melting  in  his  hands…

    his  bedroom  is  starting  to  smell  of  sweat  and  his  cologne  mixes  with  her  perfumes  ;  oak  &  vanilla  is  a  weird  combination  but  it’s  one  she’s  used  to  by  now.  as  elizabeth  moves  with  each  thrust  john  gives,  her  moans  become  more  desperate  —  more  needy.  the  baptist’s  other  hand  comes  to  wrap  around  her  neck,  his  thumb  presses  into  the  eden’s  gate  cross  tattoo  she  has  on  her  neck.  something  he  gave  her  long  ago,  probably  blows  his  ego  up  to  know  she  has  something  he  gave  her  imprinted  on  her  skin  for  the  rest  of  her  life.

                                                                                             control  freak.

    elizabeth  can  feel  john  ever  so  slightly  SQUEEZE  her  throat  and  it  causes  a  gasp  to  escape  her  in  between  moans  and  she  moves  in  rhythm  with  his hips.  her  eyes  close  while  john’s  lips  press  against  her  jaw  then  the  small  bites  he   gives  her.  his  words  are  murmured  in  her  hear,  they’re  combined  with  grunts  and  a  few  low  moans.  it’s  all  almost  too  much  for  the  brunette  to  handle  as  her  head  leans  back,  his  name  escaping  her  lips  several  times.  “  john,  please…  !  ”  she’s  so  close  to  her  limit,  at  this  point  she’s  begging  him.  PLEADING  WITH  HIM.

    “  yes,  yes…  yes  —-  i’m  yours,  okay  —  I’M  YOURS…  ”  elizabeth  knows  this  is  something  that  goes  one  way.  she’s  his  but  john  will  never  be  hers.  she  tries  to  pull  him  closer  despite  there  being  no  space  left.  elizabeth’s  desperate  to  chase  that  high.  she’s  whiny,  so  submissive  to  him.  as  always.

[heavenlyexiled]

made for  zaffsauce @sanctitysin

So  baby,  times  get  a  little  crazy I've  been  getting  a  little  lazy  waiting  on  you  to  come  save  me I  can  see  that  you’re  angry  by  the  way  that  you  treat  me Hopefully  you  don't  leave  me,  wanna  take  you  with  me.

[heavenlyexiled]

@sanctitysin  SENT    ---    “  John flinches when a snowball hits the back of his head. He looks behind at a grinning Liz and makes a face at her, "What are you, twelve? Stop it." ”    |  RANDOM  INTERACTIONS  ?  ALWAYS  ACCEPTING.

    elizabeth  watches  as  the  snowball  hits  the  back  of  john’s  head,  the  snow  sticking  to  his  hair.  when  he  turns  to  look  at  her  and  questions  her  immaturity,  she  can’t  help  the  snort  that  escapes  her.

    “  thirteen,  actually.  ”  her  voice  chirps  as  she  kneels,  hands  working  away  in  the  snow  to  make  another  ball.  “  oh  ?  stop  it  ?  or  else  what  ?  you’re  gonna  do  something  about  it,  love  ?  ”  she  can  see  his  annoyed  face  and  she  grins  more.  “  well,  how  about  you  make  me  ?  or  i  suppose  you’re  too  chicken  !  ”  and  with  that,  elizabeth  throws  another  snowball  at  john,  her  smile  turning  into  a goofy  grin,  exposing  her  teeth  as  she  sticks  her  tongue  out  at  him.

    “  the  way  you  whine  makes  you  sound  like  you’re  fifty  !  lighten  up,  john  !  ”  elizabeth  rolls  her  eyes  at  him,  placing  a  hand  on  her  hip.  “  i  could  warm  you  up  inside  as  an  apology...  ”  tone  is  playful,  coy  even  before  she  goes  for  yet  another  snowball.  “  but  you’ll  have  to  stop  me  from  absolutely  CRUSHING  you  at  this.  ”  no,  he’ll  probably  scoff  &  roll  his  eyes  at  her,  might  even  blow  her  off  and  just  head  inside.  party  pooper.

[heavenlyexiled]

"That's not a good coping method."

john’s words echo in the room, bouncing off the walls and they’re targeting elizabeth as she just sits there. he’s judging her. isn’t that his job as a baptist? to judge the sinners, to judge what their sin is to carve into flesh? usually she’d be angry for him judging her, but all she can do it sit and hold the bottle in her hands that contain her escape ticket.

BLISS.

her thumb glides against the bottle, as if providing it comfort. “i suppose not.” words  are steady—cautious even… “when alex died, i screamed at anyone who tried to grieve with me, anyone who tried to tell me they were sending me their thoughts and prayers.” vision becomes blurry & eyes sting from the tears. “i know you don’t care.” he never does. “and for a while, i tried to convince myself that you did. i tried to live in a pretend world where you loved me back. it’s pathetic.” she can’t help but laugh at herself. elizabeth understands where they stand, she doesn’t fight with him over it anymore.

“i’ve tried to live in this world, pretending that i’m okay, that this pain…this GRIEF would soon pass too..” she’s monologuing, maybe even venting to him but she knows her words fall on deaf ears.

“it’s not a good coping method but it’s not the worst one out there.” there’s a small shrug as a somber, almost pitiful smile tugs at the corners of elizabeth’s lips. “you can send me to rehab, i’ll probably end up back on it. you can send me away but what would you tell evelyn?” words don’t shake despite how broken she seems. killing came almost naturally to the seed, she was no stranger to that fact. the hanging corpses in the lowest level of his bunker, the overwhelming smell of death in the air...she remembers onetime seeing an animal skull on one of the bodies, how it was hanging with bliss flowers webbed between sticks, wrapping around limbs..

there’s been a thought of if john would have her corpse like that instead of laying in a pile of other victims who faced the consequences of crossing john’s wrath.  she brings her gaze to john, she can see the judgement in his eyes, the disgust. the anger.

“if you’re done standing there, acting like you know me and judging me, then can you please leave? i need to see my son.”

[heavenlyexiled]

@badwclv  ASKED    ----    “  UGH,  THAT  TASTES  AWFUL.  ”  ( lol idk.)

im too lazy to link the meme / search for it.

   elizabeth’s quiet, she watches jacob rub his mouth and spit to the floor in disgust. taking a deep breath, she offers a smile to her daughter. “  evie, you’re dismissed, love.  ” the little girl nods, quietly dismissing herself after waving goodbye to jacob. elizabeth waits, making sure evelyn is absolutely gone then her smile fades.

   “  then don’t eat it.  ” she snaps with a roll of her eyes. seriously? “  you’ve probably had worse during your time in the army, so stop being a baby, you said you and a couple of your men were hungry.  ” maybe she shouldn’t be scolding the soldier, but he infuriates her sometimes! she takes the time out of her day to cook the meals when there’s a complaint of being hungry! and he says it’s awful!

   “  i offered to cook and i did it. it tastes awful because, news flash, jacob…  ” she extends her hand—-over dramatic really— “  there’s not a lot of stuff here i can use to cook with that’s not meant for your judges….  ” elizabeth glares at him, lowering her hand to rest on the table “  …or your prisoners.  ” the brunette makes sure to add a certain hiss in her tone while she speaks. elizabeth should really understand that jacob’s threat still stands. he could easily toss her to the wolves; they’d tear her apart and he’d probably watch it happen too.. taking a deep breath, she relaxes in her chair.

   “  if you’ll allow it, i want to go to fall’s end. i can get some supplies there, i have old friends there. evelyn and i will come back, i just…  ” there’s a pause. she doesn’t feel right lying to him, he’ll find out and when he does it probably won’t be good. “  i didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to my friends. you brought evelyn and i here within minutes of running into you.  ” though, he had her daughter in a cage…that still made her mad. “  i didn’t get to bring anything from my house here. my son’s…  ” she hesitates. elizabeth bites her tongue and she can feel a tug in her chest, it hurts. “  i didn’t get to grab some things…  ” her eyes meet his.

                                                                              “  please, jacob..?  ”

[heavenlyexiled]

“Who is responsible?”

meme somewhere.

    “liz, you need to rest, you’re not–” hannah tries to pacify the brunette but…it doesn’t work, instead, she’s moving to get off the bed, there’s blood coming from her mouth, a bruise on her cheek and her chest is bandaged. hannah moves to hold elizabeth down. “listen to me! i know you’re mad, but you need—” elizabeth starting slamming her hands against hannah, struggling to push her away. “i NEED my daughter back! i NEED you to get the fuck off of me and LET! ME! GO!” she’s screaming as she shoves hannah back, there’s pain—but she doesn’t care. the other woman sighs in frustration as elizabeth stands, legs wobble but she refuses to fall. as the doors open and john comes into the room, he doesn’t look happy. then he asks the question and it takes every fiber of her being not to throw something at the wall. no—wait—scratch that. she grabs a nearby vase and chucks it at the wall; letting out a frustrated scream. her head snaps to john, now the young seed has to deal with a very angry mama bear.

    “the resistance! they took her, john!” she shouts, panicked. “we were ambushed and they took evelyn!” she’s gasping for air between sentences, face flushed and voice hoarse; breaking every now and again. “i never should have joined the project! i never should have left fall’s end to come here and to what!? be abused by you!? to have my daughter taken from me!?” she pushes a finger into his chest before pacing back and fourth. hannah is quiet as she watches the two. elizabeth stops pacing to face john again.

    “give me a gun.” it’s not a suggestion nor an offer. it’s a demand. “elizabeth, no!” hannah scolds, arms crossing. john stares at her, probably annoyed at her throwing that stupid vase—she doesn’t care. why. he asks why as if he’s oblivious to the whole conversation! “don’t play naive with me, john seed. i don’t have time for you to send your devoted to get my daughter back. i want every last one of those fuckers to bleed.” hannah frowns as she steps forward. “john, she can’t go! she’s badly wounded, hasn’t even had the time to recover, and her wrath will only cause us more trouble with those sinners!” she tries to be reasonable, looking to mother who scowls, spitting at the ground.

    “and if i don’t get her back then the ONLY trouble any of you will have to deal with will be ME. i’m going, hannah. THAT’S FINAL.” it’s odd to hear elizabeth speak in such a way…she’s never been this devoted to the project. no, she’s only loyal to one person and that’s her child. nobody else matters except for her. “i’ve already lost one kid, i will not lose another.” elizabeth is quick to storm out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

[heavenlyexiled]

“You’re lying.”

meme lost to the void.

    she’s been given orders to wait in john’s office, there’s two guards. one is in the office with her while the other is outside the shut door. she can feel their eyes on her as elizabeth twirls, humming one of the herald’s songs. feet feel light as if she’s floating whenever there’s a twirl.

    there’s a pause in her movements as she watches a butterfly kiss the end of her nose before flying off in a puff of smoke, there’s a small smile on her face as she turns to the guard. was his name axel? ah, she can’t remember. she sees’ the look in his eyes. there’s pity. there’s judgement.

                                  why?

    elizabeth cocks her head. why would they feel pity for her? they shouldn’t! she’s happy! she’s carefree! she...

                                                                       she reeks of bliss.

    the door opens, revealing john. she can see his face scrunch up as his eyes land on her. there’s an order for the guard to leave and he does so willingly. so devoted. elizabeth watches as john walks over to her, his eyes traveling from her shoes to her eyes. ‘you’re on it again.’ ah, those words, she can hear the disgust in them.

    what is so wrong with it?! they give this stuff to sinners all the time! what’s the harm in elizabeth taking it! she’s not hurting anyone! her daughter is safe! why should he care? he expressed distaste in elizabeth’s choice of sending her daughter to paul whenever indulging in her addiction. into temptation. john shouldn’t care. he doesn’t care for elizabeth, evelyn isn’t his, it’s not his problem. elizabeth just wants to see her son again. she only offers him a smile, her eyes glaze with the effects of the bliss.

    “no, no, i only had a tiny bit! it’s fine!” she gives off a small laugh, going to twirl again but he grabs her forearm---rough----they’ll be bruises in the shape of his fingers later and she’s forced to look up at john as he grips her chin between his index finger and thumb.

    lying!? how could she ever lie to such a holy man! to her herald! her baptist! the one who will help her march through eden’s gate! her lips part, she wants to apologize to him but...she can’t bring herself to do it. no, there’s anger. how dare john seed tell her what she can and can’t do! he’s not her husband, hell! she doesn’t even know what she is to him! a distraction?

                                                                                                                    an annoyance?

    “let go of me.” her voice is lower as the words are forced out through clenched teeth. her hand comes up to rip his away from her chin. “you don’t get come in here and judge me! judge my choices! you think i wanted this!?” she yells at him. the bliss is suppose to calm her, but it’s starting to wear off. she can hear the distant sounds of her son, his laugh---she can’t take it. elizabeth pries his other hand off her arm and holds her head. her breathing is labored for a few seconds as she tries to lean into the drug, let it calm her down... a minute passes and she looks back up at john.

    “you think i don’t know what i’m doing? you can try to stop me, force me into rehab. it won’t help. didn’t help with alcohol and it sure as hell won’t...” she stops herself, her mind is scrambled. she’s a medic for his people and yet here she is, falling apart. they’ll see her as weak but....no. elizabeth is tired of fighting a war she knows she could never win. “i need to lay down...i don’t feel good.” that wasn’t a lie, she’s lightheaded and her head  is  pounding, her brain begging her to sleep.

[heavenlyexiled]

❝ do i need to ask a second time ? i hate asking a second time . ❞

my meme is somewhere look i’m doing my best. HSHJHDJSF

    this  is  the  john  she  first  met.  a  sadistic  man  who’s  soul  desire  was  to  have  people  submit  to  the  power  of  ‘  YES,  ’  to  the  project,  to  GOD.  this  is  the  man  who  she  despised  when  just  HEARING  HIS  NAME.

    there’s  blood  covering  his  hands,  some  is  splattered  across  his  face  but  he’s  not  phased  by  it.  elizabeth  glances  to  mark,  the  blood  coming  from  the  sin  carved  into  his  flesh.  elizabeth  should  be  screaming,  she  should  be  throwing  up  by  the  smell  of  the  room  alone,  but  all  she  can  do  is  stare.

                                                         ah,  what  a  pity.  he’s  gone  unconscious.

    she  doesn’t  look  at  john  as  he  speaks,  she  can  hear  the  amusement  in  his  voice,  the  small  breathy  chuckle,  and  she  feels…  frozen.  after  all  these  years  she  should  be  happy  mark  is  in  pain  but  she  doesn’t.  she  can’t.

                                                                        why  don’t  i  feel  happy  ?

    the  question  echoes  in  her  head  as  john  sets  down  his  tools,  clapping  his  hands  before  making  his  way  to  elizabeth.  she  feels  his  hands  rest  on  her  shoulders  as  he  stands  next  to  her,  his  voice  is  a  whisper,  she  can  feel  his  breath  against  her  ear.

    ‘  i’d  say  this  look  suits  him,  don’t  you  agree  ?  ’

    elizabeth  glances  to  his  hands  on  her  shoulders,  there’s  blood  already  staining  it.  she’s  quiet.  why  isn’t  she  thankful  to  john  ?  the  baptist  did  her  such  a  kind  favor  in  making  the  man  who  abused  her  for  years  suffer…  so  why  is  there  a  painful  tug  in  her  chest  that  forces  her  to  look  away  from  the  scene.  ah,  now  that’s  quite  rude  considering  the  amount  of  work  john  did  !  her  silence  clearly  doesn’t  please  him.  her  eyes  watch  john  make  his  way  over  to  his  tools,  he  grabs  the  knife  that  was  used  on  mark  and  makes  his  way  back  over  to  her.  there’s  an  eerie  smile  on  his  face  that  tries  to  mask  as  innocence  but…  she  knows  the  glint  in  his  eyes.  it’s  sinister  ;  UNHOLY.

    she  holds  her  breath  as  his  thumb  and  index  finger  grip  her  chin,  smearing  blood  on  her  skin  ;  he  lifted  her  chin  up  slightly,  the  cool  blade  just  grazing  below  her  collarbone.  her  lips  part  as  he  speaks.

    “  do  i  need  to  ask  a  second  time  ?  i  hate  asking  a  second  time.  ”

    he  threatens  her,  telling  her  that  her  skin  is  unmarked  of  her  sin.  perhaps   it   should  be  pride  ?  no,  maybe  even  lust.  the  lust  to  be  loved,  to  fill  the  hole  of  isolation  that’s  been  manifesting  inside  her.  it’s  almost  as  if  he’s  mocking  her.

    elizabeth  doesn’t  answer  but  her  eyes  stay  locked  with  his.  there’s  memories  of  mark  by  the  way  john  holds  that  knife  to  her  skin,  the  tight  grip  on  her  chin.  when  he  cocks  his  head  that’s  when  she  realizes  ;

                                                      she’s  crying.

    not  out  of  remorse  for  mark.  but  out  of  fear.  she’s  scared  of  john.

[heavenlyexiled]

john steps into the room, fuming. "look what your daughter did!" he points to his face, the large uneven patch on his jawline and the pair of scissors in his hand telling the story on its own. yeah, that's certainly the last time he catches shuteye on the sofa! "she is out of control! take her back to cascade hills, i can't deal with her right now." he sulks, knowing he'll have to shave now.

random asks? always accepting!

paint brush pauses on the canvas when she hears stomping getting louder and closer to her. the door swings open, john’s voice follows shortly after. she hums, setting down the brush, glancing at the small painting she’s working on before standing up to face him. that’s when she sees’ the uneven patch. elizabeth immediately brings a hand up to cover her mouth as a laugh escapes her, then a snort. eyes shining with curiosity and amusement.

“evelyn cut your beard?” it’s hard to keep her composure as the words have a laugh between some of them, she struggles to keep a serious face. “oh wait, hold that there.” she’s quick to turn around and grab the polaroid camera she found weeks ago with some film still in it. she brings it up and is quick to snap a picture. the camera squeals as the oolaroid comes out. “this is a keeper. definitely something i can show your siblings when i see them next.” elizabeth teases with a toothy grin, almost the exact grin evelyn gave john after cutting his hair. she rests the polaroid somewhere to breathe and for the image to come in before resting a hand on her hip.

“you want me to send my daughter to cascade hills, with paul, just because she cut your beard? have you seen your brother’s? paul’s beard is like...the king of them. if evie accidentally does the same to him, we’re gonna have a beard killer on the loose!” elizabeth exclaims over dramatically. 

[heavenlyexiled]

“I don’t have anything to say to you.”

meme. accepting.

“then i guess we’re finally on the same page.” her tone is curt as her back faces him. she’s not even sure what caused them to fight, but it’s not the first time nor will it ever be the last. evelyn’s playing outside, elizabeth watches her from the window, glancing to john’s reflection, it’s faint. his tone is dangerously low. she’s not surprised. “you are insufferable when you act like this!” she hisses out, looking over her shoulder and sending him a glare. there’s an ache in her chest but there’s too many emotions to just pick out one and lean on that certain one.

“you’re like a god damn child who throws a fucking tantrum when someone doesn’t want to play along!” she turns around to face him, her blood is boiling. “for me to even KNOW that i love you is ridiculous! i shouldn’t! you treat me like shit, you treat me like mark—” the sentence isn’t finished as a loud SLAP sound echoes in the room. elizabeth’s head is turned to the left and her cheek stings—it throbs in pain, then burns as she brings a hand up to touch the reddened skin. her eyes wide.

i’ve told you before! do not compare me to such an idiot like him!

there’s tears stinging the corners of her eyes. no. this doesn’t surprise her either. slowly, her head rises and her eyes meet his. it’s like he’s studying her, analyzing her reaction—he almost seems proud to have shut her up. elizabeth lowers her hand to her side, nails digging into her palm as she swallows down  the anger that’s bubbling. he’s made his choice long ago and she knew what it was. elizabeth just didn’t want to acknowledge it—she wanted to pretend that he loved her back. how how foolish you are, lizzie…how foolish. how naive.

there’s silence between them as elizabeth takes in a deep breath before grabbing her backpack and evelyn’s, packing their stuff. he questions her like she’s a child—like she’s an idiot. 

                   what are you doing? 

                                                                        not like he cares.

“i believe you no longer need me or my services. hannah knows what to do in medical. you can destroy this room when i’m done here.” no, she’s not coming back. who knows where she’ll go. “i can see now that this was a mistake.” that she’s been on the wrong side of this holy war. maybe she’ll go to the deputy—-maybe she’ll go to paul and cry to him about what’s happened. maybe she’ll completely indulge the bliss—lose her mind and become one of faith’s angels. elizabeth is tired of it. tired of everything. “evelyn and i will no longer be staying here.” she’s bitter, her cheek hurts so bad...

“evelyn is no longer your concern. you’re free of us.” this is a mistake. take it back. TAKE IT BACK. elizabeth doesn’t look at john, she’s trying to pack her things, along with evelyn’s stuff. “you can keep her drawings or do whatever you want with them.” she refers to the ones in his office, now they only bring pain whenever elizabeth thinks of them. “i don’t want to look at your face and you’re in my fucking way. get out. GET OUT!” she screams at him, pointing at the door.

[heavenlyexiled]

friendship bracelet

Send “Friendship bracelet” for our muse’s to be handcuffed together.  accepting

    “joh–OW–JOHN!” elizabeth yelps when the handcuff around her wrist digs into her skin. there’s going to be a bruise---but that’s nothing new when around john--- evelyn decided earlier while she and john were taking a nap to handcuff both john and elizabeth. and let’s just say, when they woke up, it wasn’t a nice little surprise for either of them. we’re not even going to go into detail on how they got dressed but john will need a new shirt, so will elizabeth.

    “for fucks sake! stop! you’re going to rip off my hand!” she hisses at him and makes sure to roughly tug her hand back towards her, pulling john along. he wasn’t impressed.

    “don’t give me that look! it’s not my fault! evelyn has a mind of her own! i’m just as upset as you are.” there’s a sigh as the woman uses her free hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. “i’m gonna have to have hannah take over medical today..”

[heavenlyexiled]

Protects !!

Send for your muse to do one of the following to mine. / accepting!

elizabeth’s quiet as jacob looks over the map he brought to the outpost they’re at. she’s not sure what the brother is planning but she only came to offer what medical assistance she could to those injured from the resistance since BIG BROTHER SEED basically took elizabeth and evelyn into the project. elizabeth frowns. “they’ve been quiet for a couple of days now… i have a bad feeling about it—” she’s silenced when he gives her a look, raising his hand. elizabeth only sighs, crossing her arms.

her gaze shifts to the windows where she sees’ the sun reflecting off of something in the trees. “jacob…?” her voice is quiet as she takes a few steps closer to the window, eyes squinting in an attempt to see what’s out there. “what’s that..?”

within seconds, she hears gunfire and her heart drops, it’s an ambush from the resistance, blue hues watch as a Molotov is thrown at one of the project’s trucks setting it ablaze. her breathing becomes panicked as she makes her way to jacob, there’s fear written all over her face as she looks up at him. elizabeth’s lip part to speak but it’s pushed to the side as the door is kicked open. everything happens in a flash as she feels hands grab her shoulders and push her down behind the desk. elizabeth can hear guns firing before jacob comes into her view, his lips are moving but her ears ring, she can hear him but…it’s muffled.

it’s when he grabs her arm she snaps back to reality and cries out in pain, her head snaps to where his hand rests. there’s a bullet wound, her sleeve is stained in crimson, and the pain starts to become more apparent. no, don’t freak out…stay calm. elizabeth looks to jacob. “i….i’m okay. i’m okay.” voice is whispered as she reaches for her medkit, wrapping a bandage around the wound… it’s not the best but it’ll apply pressure and it’s all she’s got. elizabeth takes a deep breath, forcing herself to stand, & her eyes land on the corpse on the ground; a puddle of blood below him. there’s still chaos happening outside, she can hear the yelling, the gun fire…the judges…

she reaches behind her shirt with her other arm, pulling out a pistol. her eyes shift from looking at it to jacob. she’s told him countless times she won’t kill someone unless she NEEDS to. “i’ll follow you from behind. we need to get out of here.” she moves to stand behind him before placing her hand on his arm. “thank you..” the moment is cut short when she can hear heavy footsteps heading their way. elizabeth takes a breath, loading her pistol and nodding to the seed.

[heavenlyexiled]

‘ i was fine, i didn’t ask for any help! ’

cat lady meme. im actually too tired to link it OOPSIES SCOOBERT!

“john?!”  elizabeth is shouting over gunfire, hiding behind a rock with hannah. they were usually on guard the while time during a cleansing; even more when john’s present. so when some of the resistance came out from their hiding spots, guns firing; everything went to shit. “hannah! hannah! have you seen john!?” she calls to the woman who shoots back. she shakes her head “no! find him..!”

she takes a chance to look up from her position, trying to scan the area. it’s not like john can’t defend himself, he very well can... she doesn’t want anything to happen to him. as her eyes graze over a couple of bodies, she can see john struggling to fight off a resistance member; he’s a bit farther away from everyone else. shit..! gotta get to him, gotta get to him...! “cover me, hannah!” liz shouts before hopping over the rock, rushing towards the two. fuck--! fuck! her mind is scattered, there’s no time to think. 

just act.

something took over and elizabeth  jumped, wrapping one arm around the guy’s shoulder, taking out her knife before thrusting it into the resistance member’s neck a couple of times until she lets him go, watching as he collapses. his hand to his throat. her hands are covered in crimson, it’s warm and it feels...wrong. DISGUSTING. elizabeth keeps her eyes on the man as he tries to speak, but ti’s gurgled... he’s choking on his own blood and then.. stillness. it’s like watching someone blow out a candle in his eyes... you remember this, right? you watched the life leave nick’s eyes when you stabbed him too... her own voice echoes in her mind as she breathes heavily; the sounds of gun fire coming to an end. hannah makes her way over, but stops when she sees’ john’s  face. he’s not happy. no, he’s furious.

elizabeth looks at john, there’s something in her eyes that’s snapped and she frowns at him. “oh, you were fine!?” she repeats him bitterly, points a blood covered finger into his chest. “yeah i bet you bloody were, mate! i really do! you’d be bloody dead if it weren’t for fuckin’ me!!” she’s angry, she’s...distraught. “do me a fuckin’ favor, yeah? take your god damn ego and shove it up your fucking ass, john seed!” she screams at him, ultimately causing a scene, her knuckles paling at the death grip she has on her knife before she storms off. you can hear the string of curses in the distance as she gets in one of the trucks they brought and speeds off.

[heavenlyexiled]

cont. ( x )  @ennobledsinner

elizabeth stares at the fire. hoping it would silence her mind, give her some peace----no, the thoughts only grow and spread more. she brings her hand up to the other one that’s twitching. she can feel john’s eyes on her and it burns more than the fire itself. when he speaks; she tenses. he doesn’t sound impressed. no, she doesn’t blame him. part of her isn’t impressed with herself, how dependent she’s made herself on the drug. silently, she lets him speak. when he speaks of HER daughter, elizabeth’s head snaps in his direction, there’s a faint sign of a glare in her gaze. then he speaks of her last high, a rehabilitation program---his brother. JOHN’S GENEROSITY.

“BITE ME.” she snaps at him, rising to her feet, turning to face him. “you think i want this!? to be so dependent on a drug YOUR SISTER provides!?” she crosses her arms, eyes wet with tears that threaten to fall---her voice breaking. “i don’t want to put evelyn through this, i want her by my side every fucking day! but she just---can’t!” 

“what’s best for me?! you don’t even know what you’re asking of me! you’re ripping something away from me AGAIN, something i can never get back!” sure, this could be seen as a temper tantrum...but she’s scared. she feels threatened. “my son----he’s there! in the bliss with me.” elizabeth confesses, the night air around them shifting in moods. what was once anger heated by the fire is now a somber chill in the air.

“i’m sure evelyn has told you about him. my boy.” she brings a hand up, removing the locket around her neck---something she’s never truly done before. she feels naked without it. the locket clicks open and elizabeth winces before moving to sit on the damp log john sits on. she moves the locket for him to see what’s inside, the fire providing some lighting.

inside the locket is a photograph, colors beginning to fade, of elizabeth holding a boy with dirty blonde hair in her arms; his smile made his cheeks stand out as some of his fingers were in his mouth, a goofy expression. “my son....he was a silly boy, a GOOD boy. he was kidnapped and murdered before you and your siblings took over montana. he was only two, john.” her hands tremble---not only from the withdrawal, but from the wave of emotions desperately trying to claw their way out from her. “his name was alexander.”

she shuts the locket and places it back to its rightful place around her neck before her hands rest on her lap. “the first time i went into the bliss, it was an accident. i stumbled into a field of those flowers and all of a sudden i was in...this safe place, everything was calm and..” voice breaks as she breathes in slowly...then out. “alex was there. in the bliss. i know---i know he’s a hallucination in that place but it’s...it’s my son. my baby. i can hear him, hold him...” eyes are glossy as a few tears fall. “it’s wonderful...but it’s also so...so painful.” her jaw tightens & teeth grind against each other slightly as she holds back another wave of the overwhelming emotions. each time they hit, it makes her want to collapse and scream in agony.

“john. i love my children. more than anyone and anything in this god forsaken world...” elizabeth whispers. “i hope you understand why it’s not that easy to just...quit. you can’t just bark orders at me and expect that to be it. that’ll i’ll just lay down and listen to you. if i do this...you’ll be taking my son from me...like he was taken from me so long ago..” she assumes he won’t show her sympathy----no. she’s accepted that and she understands evelyn is alive. evelyn is still here and each time elizabeth sends her to paul, she’s pushing her away more and more. it’s not fair to that little girl.

with a deep breath, elizabeth doesn’t look at john, she instead stares at the fire. “but i’ll try...i’ll try rehab.”

[heavenlyexiled]

“ i guess i’m just worried.”

that meme is also in the fuckin void omg i’m thE WORST

    elizabeth  frowns,  not  in  any  targeting  way  to  the  herald,  but  more  out of  sympathy.  she  hums,  evelyn  asleep  in  her  arms.  the  frown  soon  shifts  into  a  warm  smile,  voice  soft.  “  i’m  not. ”  her  head  turns  to  meet  paul’s  questioning  gaze.  she  rocks  slowly,  bringing  her  daughter  closer.

    “  you’re  a  good  leader,  paul.  you’ve  kept  us  safe,  and  sure....  we’ve  had  a  few  run ins  with  the  resistance  but  you  don’t  grab  a  gun  ready  to  kill.  now,  i  can’t  speak  for  your  brothers,  since  i’ve  only  met  two  of  them  and  both  of  them  are...  ”  she  hums  quietly,  trying  to  think  of  the  right  words.  jacob  and  john  were  both....  different  to  say  the  least.  “  well,  you  know.  ”  she  gives  him  a  small  smile,  reaching  out  to  place  a  hand  over  his  ;  a  gentle  &  reassuring  touch.

    “  ever  since  i  came  here,  you’ve  been  nothing  but  understanding  and  welcoming  to  me  and  evelyn  ;  i  cannot  thank  you  enough  for  everything  you’ve  done  for  me.  especially  with   my...  problem.  ”  elizabeth  whispers  the  word  despite  evelyn  being  asleep.  she  hints  to  her  self-made  addiction  to  the  bliss.  paul’s  been  sincere  and  offering  help,  that    watching  evelyn  or  helping  her  try  to  clean  the  drug  out  of  her  system.

    “  all  my  worries  have  been  washed  away ever  since  i  came  here.  you’re  a  good  leader  and  together,  ”  she  squeezes  his  hand  “  we’ll  stand.  ”