#[ (redact) her whenever they're alone... therein continuing the cycle of self hatred and harmful codependency between them ]

[unladielike]

tell us more about vivian's toxic relationship dynamic with kai

          UNPROMPTED ASKS. » always accepting!

It's a mess, to be honest, where both seemingly have a hard time understanding each other and as a result, bicker endlessly. Whereas Kai's feelings get hurt, though, Vivian's mental health pretty much takes a nose dive following her encounters with him, for no matter how much she tries, it's like nothing she does ever improves their relationship. It also doesn't help his callousness does not make her want to open up, leading her to revert back into her insecure shell and do self destructive things; in other words, he's very bad for her health and is not by any means a 'safe person', which is someone an individual with autism trusts implicitly and feels safe or comfortable around.

Then again, it's confusing, because Vivian would claim she hates Kai, yet a baffling thing she does is cut fruit in his apartment before wordlessly handing him a plate of pineapples, oranges, and kiwi like an Asian mom, and weirdly enough, retreat back into the kitchen to be on her phone or wash the dishes. Now, naturally, you might assume she does this out of the goodness of her own heart or to make sure he gets his Vitamin C, but no, the true reason is to improve the taste of his semen.

Plus, while she no longer initiates conversation with him as much anymore, she would still pester him very frequently through text messages and would, by all appearances, be dead-set on at least beating him in something the way a petulant child might. To that end, she would bug him to go bowling with her, challenge him to, say, a game of poker (if he insinuates she must suck at gambling), or boldly claim she could drink him underneath the table, only to then pathetically lose in true girl failure fashion.

Why, instead of cool while she's with him, Vivian comes across as a very... clumsy, yet plucky young woman brimming with naivete. She flounders and puts on a brave, tough girl act, when really, she's all talk and no bite. That still wouldn't stop her from doing things she deems to be 'manly', however, like holding doors out for others, telling women 'cute ladies first' (in that princely, non-flirtatious way of hers), chasing after someone who dropped their wallet, and assisting an old woman across the street... things I'm sure he has seen her do a couple times. And I'm sure it must make him want to barf, because compared to him, she's much too nice... too stereotypically heroic, it reminds him of some cheesy protagonist from a kid's show.

At the same time, though, she also ends up in very stupid situations, where she'd either find herself stuck in a hole through the wall or unintentionally splattering mayo all over herself, to the point where she's ironically more so a distressed damsel than whatever heroic title she'd enjoy giving herself. Like, there are girls who can definitely kick Kai's ass, but Vivian's so laughably lame, she isn't one of them no matter how much she may claim otherwise.

As if that wasn't enough, she would even cook for him every once in a while after seeing how... incredibly lacking his diet is and would do weird things, such as gaze at him from afar with a pair of binoculars. Drunk Vivian would also be very clingy, that I wouldn't be surprised if people mistook her for his bratty girlfriend or something, just because she does kinda act that way. Heck, I headcanon one time, she even threatens to pee on his knives should he not tuck her in and give her a proper forehead kiss, which is something she still does not recall doing to this day.

But despite the fact Vivian constantly talks back to him and criticizes him, a part of her does deep down like Kai. She just doesn't want to admit it and gets off from being put in her place and being broken down into saying things she normally wouldn't because, well... she has a humiliation fetish and it turns her on whenever a hot, domineering man bullies her into submission; nevertheless, she does have a strange love hate relationship with him people would struggle to wrap their head around. I mean, on one hand, he frustrates her to no end, yet on the other hand, she's basically all, 'Man, he sucks... but I can't not fuck him'.

Still, it's hard to really take her seriously when the moment she accidentally loses Kai in a crowd, she'll peer through the nearest trash can just to find him and if she comes back to a room, only to find nothing but a plush that resembles him, she would be all, 'Oh no, Kai turned into a marketable plush! 😱' Vivian's just... oftentimes very silly, you would not suspect that behind the scenes, she starts self harming because of him or happens to hyperfixate over him to sometimes an unhealthy degree. Truly, thanks to Kai, she's secretly sad almost all the time and does not for one second believes he cares about her... that is, of course, up until he becomes her so called 'boyfriend', but that's a story for another time.

anonymous ( concerning @gloryundimmed )