#[ mf ] ── * 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘. { maria flores. }

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i think its rather interesting that within the different cc & nosy au routes, maria's eventual corruption into one of the same with the family is very much harbored and nurtured and encouraged by the treatment given onto her by johnny - how he gives her a window to allow herself to express hate without restriction, violence without judgement - without fear of someone thinking ill of her, without the fear in the back of mind of what those she cares for would think of her because at that point, do their opinions even matter anymore when they left her there? when they abandoned the search in cc, and when they seemingly didnt even try to search for lee in nosy?

all of it being encouraged directly by johnny.

and then in her wilted au, when they've managed to get out, return home - but returning to a 'regular life' is so overwhelming, and you feel like you should be happy to be alive, happy that you all made it out, and yet? somethings' festering in you and you simply cannot for the life of you understand WHY you arent happy?

the outlet provided in cc/nosy simply isnt there - and those negative and violent emotions have no where else to go except to be constantly shoved deeper into gut. and so you self-isolate in hopes that it keeps those you care about safe, because you're unsure of what those feelings may turn into and its terrifying to think about.

and then, years later, you find yourself sitting across from one of them - and they tell you they want to go back.

and its like furnace has been set alight deep inside, and all that rage and hate and violent urges you spent so long trying to suppress finally starts to bubble and boil again.

maria may not have spent remotely as much time being affected by johnny / nancy in wilted as she does in cc/nosy, but the idea that it was enough to harbor those feelings for nearly two decades after to want to go back is... sad.

truly is haunted by them.

[meatriarchived]

me on the floor whenever i think about maria and the making / keeping of promises to her. its something almost sacred that she holds close, something she only really asks of others shes closest to - she plays them off lighthearted, silly even, but its. important to her?

the one significant promise she had ever asked to be kept was from father, ramón flores, after it was found out about his affair following her mamas' health starting to dwindle - he blamed it on the stress of it - a promise that he would come back to see them all the time, that he will find someplace close by to live, so he can help mama out by getting them to and from school when she can't, to pick them up for weekend trips, anything they'd want. that he loved them and would still always be there for them.

all fluff, no intention on keeping it - not after, within the year, he had moved away with new girlfriend back to mexico, and otherwise went radio-silent on them until maria had been reported missing.

a promise made yet never kept.

she tries, as an older teen, as a young adult, to not place such high regard to a promise made between herself and others - but its still something that grips the heart tight when its not kept, broken.

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And late sunday thing but its been overall on my mind the last two days and maria wont stop poking about it so i may as well post it now while im still energetic enough-

Like i mentioned last sunday, maria doesnt like the idea of getting frisky and intimate if theres a risk of being spotted and all

However, she happened to catch herself glancing in a mirror in the middle of some Fun Times and watching their reflections in it Awakened a fire in her. She gets flustered over it but she finds it hot.

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mkay shit heres another one cause it keeps popping up-

She doesnt like being intimate with anyone if there are / there is a risk of people nearby. However she doesnt mind it if theyre alone in nature and concealed enough-

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eyes flip open from mid-slumber just to note

in the photo albums that maria leaves at anas/is kept safely in her room post-death, where each of them is to be given to a specific friend because they're slightly tailored to them

maria's got pressed flowers symbolic to them within their respective albums, preserved and placed carefully in-between their photos, that she'd collected while on her hikes and photographing day trips

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wakes up to down some headache meds but thinking very normally and tenderly about cc / nosy / adjacent aus where maria gets to lose her shit

how unlike dannys approach to violent outbursts being explosive from the get go, hers is quiet and patient and ticking time bomb. how to make up for what she lacks physically (even with some teaching by johnny/leland in cc/nosy/etc) she makes up for in being deceptively innocent and sweet, enticing and flirty. where she waits until perfect window, perfect isolation before hitting something major first - something to stun them, make them unable to respond as well, so that theyre sluggish and disoriented enough for her to get to play around a lil.

like dannys blind rage, maria intends to do what damage necessary in order to keep them writhing on the ground as quickly as possible.

also simply thinking about how in certain scenarios if she gets the chance to she will bare teeth to exposed throat.

[meatriarchived]

Modern verse maria would absolutely love the idea of building a full on dollhouse, filling it with all sorts of cute little furniture and such, hand-making pieces, seeing together little blankets and pillows curtains etc, all those really cute miniatures to one day give to any kids she had so they have an entire house to play with 🥲

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Me in the middle of the piazza having breakfast, sipping on my strawberry smoothie like,

Maria likes a good ride-

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about to disembark & go touring around san fran until our flight later tonight ( 9pm takeoff and tour drops us off at the airport at 2pm....ugh ) but,

been in a small rabbithole of watching ballet folklorico ( niece used to do it ) and stumbled on this video and honestly? maria used to dance alot when she was younger c;

i think the only reason she stopped was when mr flores died / disappeared / walked out on the family. i can see him having been her practice partner at home and him not being around anymore stings

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me, wakes up from nap and skims thru the dash, nodding at tho i dont do the sunday-related stuff its fine to ask no?

me, looks at maria to ask and shes already averting her eyes. ...maria? ...with who? eyes avert more, sweatin'. marIA? WITH WHO?-

marias been in uni for at least 2-3 years, shes.... not unfamiliar with 👀 certain things. shes had bfs before. they know what theyve done together-

but, maria adores affection, eye contact, breathless kisses, gentle yet firm touches and holds. kiss any and everywhere and shes a absolute puddle. make her feel safe and loved and shes a mess over them.

[meatriarchived]

the third song in maria's playlist. from the pov of the group and ana finding the strength to finally go into maria's room for the first time after enduring hell, where everything is exactly how it was left.