#[ thank you again! truly! this was greatly appreciated and I'm thriving! ]

[araneitela]

AHHHH you're back!! this makes me so happy because i loved coming across your breakdown of her trailer and then sad when seeing you had left. i just really love kafka and i loved reading your opinions on her! so i've been meaning to ask you about something that i hope you don't mind! but what do you think about her path being nihility? i was reading into ix and found that they are tied or represented by laziness, meaningless behavior, and was kinda surprised. do you think that ties in with her? hope you don't mind this! have an awesome weekend!!

Smiling from ear to ear?! // Unprompted asks.

Oh my goodness, this is literally one of the most heartwarming things to receive (and in my case, I got to wake up to it) and so I'm really, genuinely smiling from ear to ear over here. This is one of my favorite things, and it's been years. I'm thrilled that the little meta about her trailer found its way into her tag, because I've enjoyed feedback, even if it's criticism. I live for people trying to poke holes in my logic (to see if it stays upright, as I endeavor to be as canon-strict as possible), or to simply add to it. But I'll also say that I'm the first to plead guilty to praise, who does it not improve the mood of significantly, honestly? But truly, I'm honored that you found details in it that piqued your interest, resonated with you, or even had you look into her with a bit of a specific eye; that's why I do it. And also, character analysis is part of the joy of writing for me, after all! So thank you for this, and choosing to come to me with this, my gratitude is endless! As for your question, forgive me, because I need to give a little bit of background (or scroll down to find my bit about Kafka, I'm just in a rambling mood lately):

Sad as I am to admit it the paths in HSR are not quite as high in lore accuracy as for example, Genshin Impact's visions, are. Where visions are directly tied to a character's ambitions, drive(s) and/or passions and are thus heavily tied to their personalities and actions; paths are a little less simple, as there seems to have much more of a gameplay (the 'type' of RPG role, things like DPS, debuffer, healer, and so forth) tied to them, that counters lore to a degree. Keep reading though, as I have opinions! A good example of this for starters is Jing Yuan, he was given the path of the Hunt (and from the wiki: "Those who follow the "Hunt" Path admire determination, ruthlessness, and tenacious behavior") but his gameplay fits into Erudition's gameplay role perfectly (which is explained as follows on the same page: "Deals remarkable amounts of multi-target damage. The main damage dealer against groups of enemies") though I would also argue that his personality seems to befit Erudition much more as well (again, as per the same page: "Those who follow the "Erudition" Path admire thinking, logic, and strategic behavior"), though I don't write him, so I do not proclaim to be an expert by any means. But in essence, the difficult part becomes the fact that there can be a mismatch between a character's lore and their gameplay, which will often account for a bit of a discrepancy. I also believe some characters have been tied to a specific path, but it seems more likely from a lore standpoint, that they would be part of another but it is still unplayable. So yes, MiHoyo has made this a little complicated, for it doesn't seem common that lore and gameplay overlap one another in terms of paths.

However, I'm not someone who likes to just write off the concept of 'for gameplay purposes' too easy, I'll over-analyze before I simply dismiss anything. Now it's worthy to note that I've been away from HSR for quite some months now, and am not caught up with the story, so take what I say with a grain of salt, and anyone's always free to add to this, or help elaborate!

I wonder how the narrative paths (can?) influence each other. To keep up with Jing Yuan as an example, does he pray to Lan so that he keeps these 'Lightning Lord' powers that he has? To what extent do you need to follow a path to gain any of the powers tied to it? Do you simply take its tenets and 'hold them in your heart', do you progress your faith and live out its virtues in any capacity? Does this then vary from person to person, is it different across each path, because it depends on the temperment of the Aeon tied to it? Or does it go beyond that, and there is inherently a tie to its beliefs that stems from your heart or belief? If we're speaking of how human beings work and their nuances, nothing states that you couldn't 'pledge' yourself to one path, while still adhering to virtues and tenets of another, they simply wouldn't overshadow the former. Yep, it's complicated.

As for Kafka and Nihility/IX. Yes! I do think it ties in with her perfectly. See, while IX's description ("Those who follow the "Nihility" Path admire laziness, exhaustion, and meaningless behavior") is very clear in its message, we need to keep in mind that there are actually primarily two approaches to the concept of Nihilism as a whole. One is simply admitting defeat and falling into the belief system where one believes, just like IX, that all existence is meaningless and so there's no value in life to speak of, so why live? But then if you look into the factions tied to Nihility, you can see the Doctors of Chaos and their caption says the following: "Ponderers who inadvertently encountered the Nihility. They attempt to resist the destiny of Nihility, and try to prove to the Aeon of Nihility the meaning behind the existence of all things." And this matches with what you read when you first meet IX in the Simulated Universe, where you're presented with two options to proceed:

1: You can hate that life has no meaning, turning inwards, sink into gloom and eventually become a Self-Annihilator of sorts, which is kind of, basically, the equivalent of the antimatter legion for IX. 2. You create your own meaning in life. IX presents a belief that there is no meaning, but that does not mean that you inherently need to believe the same thing, and so you find your own significance and value in life. And this seems to be paramount to all of the characters that follow Nihility to one degree or another, including Kafka. For starters, let me remind you of some lines from her SQ to prove it:

Trailblazer: Are you sure you don't follow the Aeon of Nihility? Kafka: Do I sound that negative? No. We believe that existence has meaning, but that meaning is bestowed by ourselves, not by choices.

Kafka's entire involvement in the Stellaron Hunters originates from the fact that she seeks to feel what she's never felt: fear. And this is something that, arguably, makes people value life more than anything: knowing that it's precious, fragile and fleeting. Kafka makes an immeasurable amount of references to choice (and is surprised when it indeed counters 'fate'), and then also vulnerability, which is so tightly tied to the concept of something being able to be lost (something as seemingly trivial as the coats that she collects). You don't need fear to understand the concept of importance, or value, but it inherently strengthens it. But if you wanted a stronger motivation behind it: look at how ardently she follows Elio's script, and it's because he promised her that in the future he chose, she would have what she seeks. Is that not passion within itself? Is fighting and being part of something entirely blindly, not inherently the strongest evidence of craving, a longing for something? And is that not vehemently human? Is that not... the meaning of life itself?

[capinejghafa]

Idk if you've ever talked about it and i'm kinda new here but you're an archivist right? how did you come to that job? it sounds kinda cool tbh!

love your gifs and the kanej fic recs you've been giving us

Hi! Yes, I'm an archivist! I mention it I'm passing more than anything lol

I have a bit of a weird start to archives because I spent so much of my early 20s working at a pretty abusive retail job... and I wasn't doing anything with my associate degree lol

So I was looking for a change, and I got some really helpful advice from a long-time friend who was getting their master's degree (unrelated to what i wanted to do). But I decided to go back to school and get a BA in History (minor Film Studies). During my undergrads, I went to a workshop like WHAT TO DO WITH A HISTORY/PHILOSOPHY DEGREE... which admittedly is pretty bleak if you're not going into adm or teaching... or getting a Master's degree. So, I wanted something that I could actually use this degree because what would be the point of all this if not to use it? I had experience with getting the associate in Healthcare, but again, nothing came out of that.

Anyway, I got invited to a mini lecture (during my final term of my undergrads) on the M.L.I.S. program (Master's in Library and Information Science), and I really loved how the advisor talked about history and organizing. I really wanted to go to a larger school with the same program, but the deadline was a month after I graduated from my undergrad so... I picked the school that was closest also because I didn't want to wait a full year. Like a lot can happen and I was getting restless to leave my job... so much of my motivation was to leave that job. I was living on spite and a dream.

And then I got a new job as I quit my retail job and worked in private airlines for a while during my Master's. So after I started the program, I got another job as a graduate assistant at one of the archives on campus.

I say this kindly, but not everyone is going to love this job... it gets mundane at times and somewhat repetitive. But for me? My area of specialty is religious archives, like that's where I thrive the most. But it's also a niche category within an already niche community... and then factor in that I'm Latina in predominantly white field. It's tough. It's hard work, but I think it's worth it.

I had to move for my career, and for me, it was worth the risk. I honestly started off as an assistant and got promoted within a year and a half as Director of Archives. I greatly appreciate that people believed in me.

Thank you so much for your kind words, I truly enjoy the Kanej fic recs!

[fuwushiguro]

hi love— you by no means have to answer this and I apologize if me sending this is crossing any of your boundaries, but I’ve been seeing your posts on my dash and it felt wrong to not say anything. firstly, you are an incredible writer. it’s a simple fact that is sometimes incomprehensible simply because it’s you and we struggle to believe we are talented and capable when the thoughts in our mind constantly tell us otherwise. because of that, it’s important we have people that actively remind us that we are needed and loved to actively combat those thoughts, but sadly tumblr has been rather… neglectful recently and feedback is a rarity these days. however, this is not at all a comment on you, it’s just sort of how things are recently— a bit dead I guess, and painfully so. because of that, I completely understand you feeling the urge to leave because I felt the same and actually did it, but as you can tell I’ve come back, so :’) I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you plan on leaving, nobody can stop you and we would respect your decision because it is purely yours to make, but that is not at all to say you won’t be missed and people don’t appreciate you. personally I left after my old blog suddenly became filled with hate anons and discouragements, and I just simply didn’t feel seen or wanted anymore. it felt good for a while, until I realized I love writing too much to ever truly leave and the interactions with people who enjoy your writings is one of the best feelings that I don’t want to run from. so, when I came back, I started new series and tried to recreate myself, and it felt so surreal because I felt like I started over just to slip into my old place, and sometimes I regret deactivating because the real issue wasn’t me but just… the environment my blog had lead to. I noticed you receiving a lot of unwarranted hate and it was the same for me. it was miserable and I can now safely say the only way to prevent it is to simply block anyone who ever makes you feel uncomfortable and pick your moots carefully to only surround yourself with people who actually want to see you thrive and care about you in general. god sorry this was so long but bottom line is— I think you’re extremely talented and not the issue here. a place you love may feel tarnished and it’s made you want to leave but you are NOT the issue, okay? you have never not been anything but talented, patient, and kind— do not let strangers hiding behind anon bully you into ever thinking otherwise. whether you leave or stay, the impact you’ve left on the writing community remains, I mean… I saw your masterlist for kinktober (a little late I left before then pfft) the other day??? babe??? that was INSANE, I was flabbergasted on how you were able to complete something so well and with such good quality??? like it’s actually inspiring you truly are talented. I also need to reread your series bc (confession time), I used to binge read your writings and be too scared to interact with them because so I am extremely shy with people I admire, but I refuse to do that anymore so expect me rbing your fics with long commentary very soon. gahhh, okay I’m gonna shut up now, again please do not feel required to even read this, and I greatly apologize if it upsets you in any manner. I just wanted to say you are important to the writing community and if you feel out of place— I am here to remind you of that. much love <3

Hiiiii omg sorry it take me so long to reply to this 😭 this is seriously so lovely and kind I'm so overwhelmed. Thank you for sharing your experience with me and trying to make me feel better it's so sweet of you. I'm hoping things will calm down and I will be able to feel better at some point. The support is definitely making me feel better at least so that's cool :o) but yeah thank you for this!! I really appreciate it. And if you ever wanna chat or anything my DM's are open 🥺💕