#{my sky and hope and love is endless} sora bishonenprince

[forgottenluck]

Three Times Fog; One Time Sleep

Part Two: Waning Moon.

home / previous / next (not yet)

Warning: This drabble deals with Koun's self-loathing mindset. Please go into this understanding that Koun is not mentally stable and is depressed.

Koun was lost.

Caught up in the other's wind, possibilities that could happen, Fate Lines shattered--he'd gone along with Sora's whims...and now he found himself lost as the air calmed down around him.

The ground felt unfamiliar under his feet, he was a Land God without a domain here, and this world knew it. Part of it rejected him, refused to open up....while other parts welcomed him with figuratively open arms. It left him feeling disjointed. Lost. In all the years he'd been alive, he had never felt lost quite like this.

How unnerving.

Sora's fast pace was not helping. Koun wasn't sure what was going through the brunette's head at times....What possessed him to insist, no....demand that Koun come with him as he traveled from world to world? Was it pity for a dieing creature? Or something more? Either way....Koun wasn't used to the speed at which Sora went from one topic to another, one place to the next.

It was exhausting.

Perhaps he should feel lucky that he'd been left at the apartment this time, as Sora went out to do whatever it was that he did. But he wasn't sure what to feel by this point. Everything was muddled, muted, and tossed up in his mind.

A yawn left him as he closed the book he'd been reading. His eyes kept closing....mental and physical exhaustion just too much for him. He needed something else.....but his options were limited. Extremely limited. He wasn't sure, but it seemed like his internal temperature....while fine for inanimate objects and such, electronic items did not like it and were super sensitive to it. Either that or it was just his presence and inhumanity that they didn't like. So this world's entertainment items like televisions and radios and other things....just didn't like to work.

As if to laugh in his face, as he attempted to pick up the remote and turn on the television, it just clicked at him. A grumble left him and he leaned back into the couch to stare up at the ceiling.

He wasn't sure when Sora had left for...well, whatever it was he did. But Koun was bored. And tired. And exhausted. Dangerous combination. His eyes drifted closed again and he let out a sigh.

.....what a useless fight.

He really was just grasping at straws by this point, wasn't he? Anything that could possibly have an inkling of changing Fate. But Fate couldn't be changed. Altered, shifted......maybe. He still hadn't figured out what was going on with Sora's broken Fate Lines.....but considering he'd never seen them before and hadn't seen them since.....it was likely just a one-off.

Why was he even still trying? Why was he fighting against what was meant to be? What point was there in a continued existence that was barely even there? A forgotten entity that had no place in the world anymore. Every time he got close to his fate....something in him stirred violently, ripping him from that state and back into the waking world.....

And a part of him hated it.

But he supposed that was his penance. He was doomed to suffer for the things he had done in the past.....and though he tried to run away from his fate, from what he had caused....it would catch up to him. He knew it would. Balance must be kept....and if this suffering was to keep that balance, it would always catch up no matter how he ran.

What a coward he was.

A grumble left him and he stomped the thoughts out, getting up and headed to the kitchen to make himself some tea. Chamomile was what he chose.....something calming. He was exhausted, and he knew he needed to rest, before things got too bad. Luckily, their stove was an older model.....he could actually light it with flame instead of electricity...so he did so, going through the motions of brewing tea for the calming effect.

Known actions to sooth a worried heart, he supposed. But then...did he really have one of those?

The longer and longer he stayed around Sora....the more confused on that topic he got. Sora was interesting...yes. Very much so. Something to keep his attention....something to focus on. Everything the other did was something new, something outlandish.....but it was exactly that attention that was.....different. Koun wasn't sure what it was, but something was changing. His thought drifted to the other more and more frequently. Was he okay? What was he doing? Where'd he go? Why was he paying so much attention to a dieing deity like him? The more he stayed, the those thoughts popped up.

Koun groaned, pressing one hand to his eyes as he stared at the cup of tea he'd prepared. This was....far too much. Too much at one time for him to handle. It raked at his mind, his thoughts....constantly. Of course, he never let these moments out in public....in the company of others.

These moments were for him. Only him to know exactly how messed up his mentality actually was. He could never let Sora know how much he doubted himself, how much of a coward he was. How he was constantly running from fate, just for fate to nearly snag him every time.....and how that messed with him. How the past haunted him every step.

The fox let out a breath, willing himself to calm down as he sipped at his tea. The tea had the effect he'd wanted, and he could feel the tension easing from his shoulders. Was this the smartest decision? No.....but he knew he'd need to rest sooner than later, so he, for once, was being proactive about it.

Kind of hard not too after having a mild panic attack and now had fog at the edges of his vision. He downed the last of the tea in his cup, setting the cup in the sink before making his way back to the couch and falling face first into it's cushions. Fingers brushed the carpet absently and he pulled his face from the pillows to stare blankly at the television that had all but mocked him earlier. He could see his reflection in it's screen.....

Wow he looked like absolute shit without his usual illusions up. Ah....he didn't really care at the moment. He was warm, and the tea had definitely calmed him....and now he was just tired. Eyes drifted closed once more, and he let them.

Maybe this time he wouldn't have to open them back up in terror....

Maybe this time he wouldn't....

Unusually willing, the fog rose up to take him far too quickly. He had been tired, weakened by everything that had been going on....mentally and physically....he couldn't fight it off. It took him fast, sending him under it's influence and away from dreams....into a abyss that he almost couldn't climb back up from.

Did he even want too?

What was the point in even trying anymore? It wasn't like anyone would miss him. No one even remembered who he was. He was a forgotten being, Fated to be lost in time and never remembered. Why should he fight that? Fight when no one cared?

Those were the thoughts he faded off too, those were the ones that faded off to nothingness....and instead of a peaceful calm taking over from where those were, instead it was just a cold numbness. Empty. Nothingness.

He'd made it this far....but there was just no point. So what if this was a new world? What was a new start when no one was there?

"But there is someone. You know that."

The sounds of keys in the door combined with the soft words he'd heard was what jolted him back. Half pushed up off the couch, face twisted in shock....he didn't have much time to get himself in order, get his terror under control and illusions back up to where he didn't worry Sora.

He collapsed back once those illusions were up, a groan leaving him as he sunk back against the couch.

"Awww, did I scare the little foxie?" the teasing voice echoed from the door, and Koun tilted his head back to look at Sora upside down. The other looked a little worse for wear, but no more so than normal.

Ah. That was right. He wasn't alone at the moment. Perhaps Sora's care was misplaced. Perhaps it was done out of pity. Perhaps for a reason that Koun didn't yet understand. Koun knew that if he vanished, Sora wouldn't much care....would easily move on.....but even still.....

Even still.

Something about Sora....something about him being around made Koun want to at least....keep trying. He wasn't sure how long it would last....but seeing those shattered lines gave him some sort of inkling of hope.

He knew it was too much to ask....but a small part of him hoped that Sora'd be able to help him fight his fate. Never would he say it out loud, though. He was too prideful for that.

So instead he merely scoffed, sticking out his tongue in a playful childish manner.

"Whatever. Did you bring anything good back?"

[forgottenluck]

Koun and Sora Meta stuff I sit on in my head.

Despite Koun being quite verbally assertive in general, he isn't verbally assertive during intimate moments for the most part. He also has issues being physically assertive in the beginning....but this is mostly because Sora is his first, and only love so far.

Koun will ALWAYS put Sora's health and well-being over his own. It doesn't matter what situation it is. What makes Sora happy will always win out over his own happiness. It is a fatal flaw.

On the above point, Koun knows that Sora is not used to anyone treating him gently. Sora is used to being used as a tool for pleasure, a weapon for destiny.....so Koun prioritizes treating Sora as a person first. He always takes the other's opinion into consideration, goes along with his whims, and holds Sora gently after moments of intimacy. Koun loves Sora as a person, for who he is, and he will repeat that as many times as Sora needs to hear.

Koun shares. He does not LIKE to share, but he's well aware of his shortcomings and issues in relationships. He only wants to make Sora happy, and knows sometimes he can't do that. He knows Sora doesn't like this part of him, but he's also terrified of not being enough for Sora which would cause the other to abandon him. So he keeps his mouth shut.

Koun absolutely loves to have contact. Sora will often find Koun's fingers tangled in his hair, or a hand on his shoulder. Once he was able to get over that fear of not being solid enough, Koun can't get enough. It's usually light touches, things that won't be in the way or bothersome.

Koun will never admit it to Sora, but every time Sora goes off for weeks on end, or they have an argument which causes Sora to storm off, Koun spirals mentally. It rarely gets to the point where it becomes outwardly noticeable for a normal person....but he does spiral.

Once Sora and Koun's relationship solidifies, Sora will be able to notice Koun's mental and physical state, due to being Koun's vessel. Koun can only tell Sora's physical state, due to injuries being reflected on him. (Injuries to Koun are NOT reflected on Sora.)

Koun adores their daughter, Hitomi. He also adores any of Sora's children. He is a very good father figure; being gentle but firm in decipline and making sure that they have everything they need. A stark contrast to Sora who is very hands-off in parenting. He will dote on any child handed to him.

When she is growing up, Koun loves dressing Hitomi up in very pretty clothing. He doesn't go all out a lot of time, but he definitely has a preference for long flowy styles and either pastel colors or deep blues.

Hitomi calls Sora Dad, and Koun Papa. Mainly because Sora is pretty hands off, and doesn't have as strong a relationship with her.

Hitomi ends up getting a rather interesting mixture of both Koun and Sora's personalities. She adopts the two's unhealthy habit of hiding their emotions behind masks. She's a spitfire at times, and much to Koun's displeasure, has adopted Sora's flirty behavior. He would have much preferred her to have a more gentle disposition.

When Hitomi dies, Koun does indeed have a massive spiral. At first, he attempts to hide his spiraling mentality from Sora, but ends up having a massive breakdown, which lasts for weeks. It takes years for him to get back to complete normalcy.

Sora decides to become and Idol and a Model, at the insistence of Koun who just wants Sora to do something that he enjoys.

-Modern worlds have a field day with Sora in both his Model and Idol industry jobs. It does not take long for him to rise in ranks and become a celebrity very quickly.

-Koun takes the time every moment he has alone with Sora to reaffirm that Sora is a person, not an object.

-Koun is at every Idol show that Sora takes part in. Some how he always has front row seats. He supports Sora completely, and often is seen with a backstage pass. No one but Sora knows how he gets these. This usually has to do with his illusionary power.

-In public, Koun is often seen wearing a hat or hoodie to hide his ears from cameras. Unless he's tired or in an uncaring mood. Then he just writes it off as eccentricity.

-The press has a field day with Koun due to the fact he has no records and does not talk to the press. He is always seen with Sora, who is a rising celebrity, and no one knows who he is. No one can figure it out. His loose fitting clothing and long hair also cause confusion, and it takes a while for the press to realize he's actually male. There are some headlines that circle through going "UPCOMING IDOL/MODEL'S GIRLFRIEND? BOYFRIEND? WHO IS THIS PERSON?"

-Once Sora gets enough money, he buys them a rather nice mansion. It is on the smaller side, but only at the insistence of Koun, who doesn't want to waste too much space. This allows Koun to indulge in smaller hobbies like instruments and gardening. Sora tries to get Koun to raise animals, but he declines.

-Koun ends up making his own mark on the celebrity world in two ways. The first way is that he becomes known as a mystery musician, playing in various areas randomly for tips. (At the insistence of Sora, who pushes him to pursue his hobbies). The other way is that he ends up cultivating a new species of Lily during his hobby as a gardner, which becomes highly sought after. He is never fully found by the press, they never know who he is....which adds to his status.

-When he finds out that the press is having a field day with his identity, he does nothing but laugh and tells sora to let them stew. He likes watching them squirm.

[forgottenluck]

Three Times Fog; One Time Sleep

Part One: A Gentle Rolling Eclipse

home / previous (none) / next

Koun did not doubt that his new companion could hold his own, could afford his own room. Yet....the young man seemed awfully intent on sharing the small inn room that the fox had been staying in....and it confused Koun.

"I still don't get why you're insisting....this little room isn't anything special." he muttered as the other (Sora, he said his name was.) set his pack down and did a little dramatic spin around the tiny room.

"It's special because I found a new friend that can protect a vulnerable little civilian such as myself" the sarcasm and lie that dripped off the young man's tongue were almost tangible to Koun, his nature as a Kitsune letting him see the lies as what they were. He could easily grab onto the sing-song tone and hear the truth underneath...or whispers of it, at least. "Why are you looking at me like that? I’m telling the truth! Or what? Do you expect me to pay you?"

There were many things he could say in response, but instead, Koun just rolled his eyes as he made his way over to the closet and slid the door open. With a practiced movement, he pulled the futon out and tossed it over to Sora. He was pleasantly surprised by the shocked little noise that came from the other as he made his way over to the small balcony that the inn room came with.

"My nose tells me that you can do quite well on your own." he retorted, though he made sure to slip in the teasing tone so that the other would realize he was merely poking fun. "But whatever, a little company never hurt anyone."

In truth, no matter how he wished to deny it, Koun was just too tired to give a better retort. He was too tired to care much that he had company. He'd been too tired to say no, especially at the persistence of the other party. In the back of his mind he knew this was dangerous.....but he was at the point where he didn't care much.

The young man gave a pout, but finished setting up the futon...Koun watched through half lidded eyes. He wouldn't let himself rest until the other was asleep, after all. Yet Sora merely sat on the futon and leaned forward, watching him. For a moment there was silence between them, and then Sora gave a sly grin, reaching a hand forward.

"You should join me~"

It took Koun a few moments for the suggestion to register and when it did, he blinked a few times and frowned. In the back of his mind he knew that wasn't an innocent request, he knew how humans were. He'd seen it before. Watched their weird mating rituals to know enough of the tone behind those words. As such his face twisted in confusion.....He had not been the object of someone's affection before, and honestly had no desire for it.

Not when he could barely keep himself solid enough to walk down the street.

"C’mon, handsome...." He'd faded out just for a moment, and when he focused, Sora's hand was almost at his own wrist. "It’s a bit chilly…lets warm each other up--"

Koun barely managed to keep his hiss to himself, jerking his hand out of reach with a snort.

"Not interested." He hadn't meant for it to be as blunt as it was, but he turned his attention to the window. "You said you were tired, so get some rest."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sora pout, drawing his hand back like he'd been burned....but there was a flicker of something behind those blue eyes. Something that Koun wasn't sure if he liked it or not....a stubbornness that spoke of trials to come. Honestly....what had he gotten himself into, with interacting with a Keyblade Wielder of all things?

".....Ugh. Whatever." Surprisingly, Sora relented, drawing away and back to the supplied futon. He hesitated briefly before snuggling under the blanket.

Koun was silent, still.....allowing the night to settle around them. It was a heavy silence....but comforting. Crickets in the distance, the bustle of people making their way home, the gentle snores of the Inn's other occupants. A world of life that thrummed around them....

And yet here was a dead God sitting amongst it all.

He shook his head briefly, to clear such thoughts from his mind, and turned to focus on the other occupant in the room. Sora's breathing was calm.....signalling he'd fallen asleep.....funny, Koun had tried to be focused on that to know when he'd fallen asleep. Yet he missed it.....

Ugh, he was....more out of it than he thought.

Moving his attention back to the window, Koun let his mind drift, watching fireflies and crickets in the field across the way. He'd tried to get a room to himself, because he knew himself.....he knew he was reaching his limit. It'd been days since he last slept. But Sora had insisted.....and he eventually relented. So now he was stuck here.....

His eyes closing briefly....his head bobbing forward only to jerk back into semi-awareness. Ah....this was bad, wasn't it? His mind was drifting a little too far, it was too hard to keep his focus. He knew he needed to stay awake, at least until he could get some time to himself.....but he'd gone too long. His body was clawing at any semblance of rest and energy it could grab onto, shoving him to the side mentally in favor of resting. Eyes drifted closed again, his shoulders relaxed.....head tilted back to rest against the wood behind him.....

And he spiraled. Slipped into dreams without even realizing it.

As usual, his dreams were filled with destruction. Of death. Of loss. Of water and the ash that choked out the air. Of hands grabbed, burned skin, and limbs torn asunder........And of days long gone. Though desperate to keep himself sane.....the fog still rolled over his dreams, muddling them. Fuzziness clouding the memories, the images......

Gentle....yet cold. Breath stilling, Flickering. Thoughts and memories, images slowing, everything slowing to a trickle. Deceptively peaceful, he almost let himself slip completely.

"Not yet."

The whisper doesn't truly reach his ears, not really. But it reaches his core. All at once that gentle peaceful feeling shifted to ice cold fear as it gripped his core and he shoved himself into the waking world violently. Somehow....somehow he'd managed to wake back up only after a few hours, and keep a lid on his gasp so he didn't wake the other occupant in the room.

For a moment, he just sat there, curled in on himself, trying to calm his breath. His core hurt.....the cold fear that he'd felt still running like ice through his very being. He'd almost slipped. He'd almost gone under! And in the presence of someone else, too......he was loosing his touch, loosing his mind.

Golden hues squinted shut for a brief moment more before turning to the other occupant in the room, ears perking forward to listen. Yes.....Sora was still asleep. His sleep hadn't been disturbed.....though it sounded as if maybe the young man had his own nightmares, breath hiccuping only in the slightest.

An interesting one, Sora was. Never had Koun ever seen a broken, or shattered line of Fate...yet Sora had multiple. To break fate like so.....a part of Koun wanted to hope that maybe, just maybe it was possible to do so for himself.....but as he had just experienced, it would likely be too late for him. Still....Sora was an interesting case, something to keep his attention. While he knew he shouldn't.....

Maybe he'd stick around Sora. Just on a whim. To see where Fate took him. Today was a new day....and despite the fear that had rippled through him, he was rested. It would be easy to hide that fear, that terror, as soon as the other opened their eyes and rose for the day.

After all, what was a Kitsune that didn't know how to lie through their teeth?

Sometimes....he even believed the lie himself.

[forgottenluck]

Three Times Fog, One Time Sleep

A four part Drabble series.

Three times Koun fought to stave off dormancy, and one time he didn't need too. Lore tied directly in with @bishonenprince's Sora

Part One - A Gentle Rolling Eclipse

Part Two - Waning Moon

Part Three - tba

Part Four - tba

[forgottenluck]

What is patience and being in one place for too long-

"You are the one who helped me realize a lot of this stuff so....only makes sense that you tick off so many."

"But that square says "don't leave alone" not "staying in one place" so....."

[forgottenluck]

Finally figured these out yes.