#ᵐᵃᶤᶰ: ʸᵒᵘ'ˡˡ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ʷᵃᵗᶜʰ ᵐᵉ ˢᵗʳᵘᵍᵍˡᵉ ( lnstinctive. )

[jawblade-blog]

"Hey, Shiro - happy ani no hi," a smile takes over his face at mention of the holiday they'd made, something better fitting of their relationship. Keith hadn't had a father to celebrate the day with, and Shiro had deserved a day of appreciation (not that he wasn't appreciated every day) - so, ani no hi. "Thanks for all you do."

兄の日    ➣ @lnstinctive / @grimesucker

     Drawn to a pause by the call of his name, Shiro lifts his head inquiringly and finds himself greeted by Keith and the wish of a happy ‘big brother’s day.’ For just half a tick he blinks in surprise before all trace melts away, replaced with an affectionate – if slightly embarrassed – smile. Ani no hi, a day that Keith had invented years ago to replace Father’s Day ( which neither of them had ever had much reason to celebrate, Keith’s dad gone and Shiro never having met his own ). It’s flattering when your little brother decides that you need a day to be celebrated, and Shiro does appreciate the recognition for the things he’s done, but he’s always told Keith that it isn’t necessary. All that matters to him is that Keith is doing okay, that’s all that’s ever mattered, and that’s all the satisfaction he’s ever needed to get for taking care of him.

            —But Keith has always been stubborn, and he has yet to let Ani no hi die.

     “ Thanks, buddy, ” he replies, a breath of a self-conscious chuckle following the words. Smile widening a touch, Shiro considers saying what he always does, that he really doesn’t need a day like this, but ultimately decides against it. His brother hasn’t stopped celebrating this day yet, and it’s unlikely that his mind will be changed now. Maybe this year he can just… let it go. Appreciate it without fighting it.

                                          It’s been too long since he’s seen Keith anyway.

     “ I don’t know how you remembered or how you know what day it is on Earth, but… thanks. ” Laugh more affectionate this time, Shiro reaches out and ruffles Keith’s hair, playfully but intentionally mussing it up. Somehow he thinks this is something that his little brother is not so thankful for him doing. “ I love you. ”

[silentconfliction]

i forgot to mention it in that massive post, but after their mother died, the circumstances they were in led keith and shiro to become very codependent on one another. this isn’t something that has lessened since then, and it can actually be a very unhealthy codependency at times.

[silentconfliction]

N o t e

shiro has died. send ‘note’ for a goodbye letter he wrote to your muse as a precaution, in case something ever happened  / /  accepting                             »» @lnstinctive

Keith,

     The only way I can think to start this is by saying that I’m sorry. The last thing that I’ve ever wanted to do is leave you, though it might seem like that isn’t the case with the number of times it’s happened now. You have no idea how much I hate that it’s happened even once. I may not say it much because I know how you feel about getting sappy, but you’ve been the most important thing in my life, kid. You’re the biggest reason why I lasted as long as I did. If I hadn’t had you after mom died…

Well. I don’t know what would have happened or how things would have gone, but you gave me purpose when I needed it and you… You’re my little brother, Keith. I love you so much and I always have. I hope you know that.

Of course, I don’t know what’s going to happen, exactly. …Or, I guess, what HAS happened, if you’re reading this. Given where we are, there are a lot of possibilities, but… hopefully I went out protecting you and the team. From the start of all this, the moment we became a team, I knew that I’d put my life on the line for every single one of you. That I could die happily if it meant you and the others were safe. I really hope that you all are and that I was the only casualty.

I want you to know that this was inevitable. Not in the sense that “everyone dies”, but that I knew it was coming. I’ve known for a while now that I’d die soon, and… while I prolonged my life as long as I could for the sake of the team and the universe, I’ve long since made my peace with it. Please don’t think that I died too soon, or that I went out in pain. And don’t blame yourself for it. No matter what happened, it wasn’t your fault, Keith. It was going to happen, and it happened. It’s the way that life works. The only regrets I have are that I won’t be around to protect you in the future, and that I had to leave you again, this time for good.

I’m sorry, buddy. I really am. But I know that you’ll be just fine without me, you and the rest of the team. You’re all so strong and smart and talented, and Keith, I know you can lead them well. You can lead them to the victory that the universe deserves. You’re more than you give yourself credit for. You’re amazing, Keith, and I’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come. You were always the best little brother a guy could ask for, and you made my life so much more meaningful. Please, defeat the Galra and live a good life, okay? All I’ve ever wanted was for you to have a good life, but I never managed to give you that. That’s something that… maybe it was out of my hands, but I regret it all anyway.

I love you. I believe in you. I know you can do whatever you set your mind to, so get out there. I’ll always be cheering you on.

— Takashi

[silentconfliction]

☄ @lnstinctive​ ❤’d for an alternate reality starter

     Confusing as it is to find himself in a whole other reality from his own, there’s also a lot about it that’s kind of interesting. The parallels to his own reality, the different directions things have gone here, how it seems in a lot of ways to be a sort of opposite reality... Slav will be jealous of his being here when he finds out about it. ...If he finds out about it.

These Paladins, thankfully, have been very kind and welcoming in this... very strange situation, allowing him to stay with them until they can figure out how to send him back. ...If that’s a possibility. Still, Sven has been trying to take time to learn more about this universe, and get to know a bit more about the other humans that had helped him and Slav not all that long ago.

     “It’s... Keith, ya?”

Approaching the Paladin slowly from behind, Sven tilts his head curiously. He keeps a respectful amount of distance between them, not having missed the way that the other has seemed to be avoiding him to some degree, thus not wanting to make him uncomfortable. If he had to guess, it’s his resemblance to this ‘Shiro’ of theirs that has Keith... perhaps unsure of how to deal with him.

          “I’ve been told dhat you’re leader of dhis team? Dhat’s              impressive, you know. You must be very talented for your age,              leading such an important team in a var like dhis.”

[silentconfliction]

headcanon of the day ( feat. @lnstinctive again ):

anyone who dates keith ( or shiro, I guess, probably in a qp capacity ) will quickly realize that the brothers are not just close, but very codependent. as in, to what could absolutely be considered a somewhat unhealthy degree. they can handle being separated and not being at the other’s side constantly, yes, but they rely heavily on each other for mental and emotional support. they often share a bed ever since shiro’s rescue, both for the reminder that they have each other again, and to keep nightmares at bay. in some verses/circumstances, should one of them lose the other, the one left behind will handle the loss very poorly. ( we have a verse or two where keith is…pretty much The Thing that keeps shiro going every day. that’s a higher codependency than our canon verses, but I feel like it should still be noted )

for several years, they were all each other had. shiro, as a late teen/young adult had to drop most of his own life in order to look after keith and support both of them financially. keith was a big part of what kept him going after his mom died, and that is definitely a big part of the reason for his dependency on keith. he just… almost doesn’t know any different at this point?

naturally there’s a lot to it all and this is a very basic covering of this facet of their relationship, but I felt inspired to note this? I don’t think it’s something I’ve ever mentioned on this blog despite seeing things this way for a good few months. maybe I’ll write a more detailed post on it in the future.

[silentconfliction]

@lnstinctive replied to your post: do you really think your little brother is fit to...

✔ read at 6:12

[silentconfliction]

☄  @lnstinctive​

     After a long and tiring day, Shiro is finally given his chance to retreat to privacy. So far the work he’s been doing for the Garrison since he... got back... has been simple and hasn’t even been a large load, but it still takes him all day just to make a little bit of progress. It’s incredibly hard, he’s been finding, to adjust to all of this. --Readjust is the better term, he supposes, since this is relatively normal human life, minus going out in the world and dealing with crowds and strangers.

          ...God, he doesn’t even know how he’d handle being flung back into society           like that. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing that he’s confined to the Garrison           grounds.

As he steps up to it, the door to his staff quarters opens for him and, for just a second, he pauses in the doorway, eyes trained on the figure already inside. Then, quietly, pretending as though nothing is out of the ordinary, he steps inside and allows the door to shut behind him. The last thing he needs right now is for anyone surveilling him via the camera in the hallway to realize that anything that shouldn’t be happening is happening, or that anyone who shouldn’t be here is hanging around.

     “Keith...” It comes out as a tired sigh as he locks the door and again fixes the        other with his gaze. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Not that he isn’t happy to see his baby brother, because god, he is -- he missed the kid so damn much and really, truly thought he’d never see him again for the longest time -- it’s just that he doesn’t want Keith to get himself into trouble. After getting booted from the Garrison for hitting an Instructor, he’s not allowed on the premises anymore, and this area, like most of the places Shiro is allowed to go, are considered fairly highly restricted.

Still, Keith is already here ( though how he keeps getting in is a mystery ), so Shiro isn’t about to kick him out. Bringing his left hand up over his right shoulder, he presses a couple fingers in hard against the aching muscles supporting the heavy, metal prosthetic on that side of his body. A quiet, almost relieved grunt escapes him, and he steps over to join Keith in sitting on the edge of his bed, shaking his head.

          “What’re you doing back again? You’re going to get yourself caught                if you keep doing this.”

[silentconfliction]

How did you feel when your mom first brought Keith home?

anon curiosity hour  / /  literally always accepting

     “I was excited. I know a lot of kids are hesitant or initially against a new         sibling entering the scene, but I was fourteen when the adoption worked         out, so I wasn’t all that worried about having to share my mom’s attention         with someone else. And I’d always wanted a sibling. –I always wanted a         big family in general, so growing up with it just being me and my mom… it         was exciting to finally get an addition.”

Just thinking back on that day has him smiling, even chuckling a little to himself. He remembers not being able to focus in school at all that day, just wanting to get home to meet his new brother.

     “I was probably a little overeager. I was very friendly with Keith right off the         bat, and it definitely put him off. He was… really closed off when he first came         home. Didn’t want to talk to anyone, didn’t want to interact… That disappointed         me a bit at first, but I shouldn’t have just expected him to instantly be comfortable         and happy. 

               “It took me a bit to adjust to his sullen behaviour and figure out                       how I should act toward him to get him to be more comfortable,                       but it took him a lot longer to feel like he belonged with us. But                       that’s a whole other story.”