#‘calm down they’re using ‘gay’ as a shorthand’ they say…

[meeraria]

Hii, I'm so shy asking this but I read somewhere you have a list of upstead moments, would you share it with me? If it's not too much 🙈

I am very sorry I just saw this!! I hope you haven’t sent this a long time ago. I’ve finished the last season recently but I haven’t done this one yet. and pls don’t be shy!! I am so happy you asked. not many people like them.

I don’t have time stamps just some shorthand notes to remind me of the scene. and every instance they call each other by their names (I had this idea to gif them or make a video etc.) but all the moments are in chronological order so if you see the third moment before the first one when you’re watching an episode that means you skipped the first two. the list is under the cut.

ps. there might be some other moments that I liked that are not necessarily upstead.

4x21 first time at the back of a van

4x22 jay on haileys desk

        erin is the one who calls her hailey for the first time

4x23 hailey meets will

        hailey looks after jay when he leaves

5x01 jay touches hailey on the shoulder for bust

        hailey calls him jay for the first time, to Kev and Ruz

        look at each other at the hospital

        if you need anything

deleted scene: jay I got your back. he is quick to escape her. pats her back. she respects. he’s with his brother

5x02 looks at jay when he starts lying to suspect

        sits on her desk

        jay checks out hailey in the interrogation room

        jay calls him upton. for the first time

5x03 they open doors to cupboard at the same time

        butchers blade-look to each other

5x04 sb assumes hailey is ruzek’s gf

        stops a witness from prosecuting ruzek

        ruzek calls her hailey cause he thinks she’s gonna snitch, jay tries to stop him

5x05 hailey puts her hand on jay’s shoulder jay looks and she recants

        they save the kids look at each other

5x06 Le Snob (he’s not in love yet-doesnt look at her)

        jay brings her jacket

        mcgrady you run the log hailey they look at each other

        their hands touch when jay gives her the camera

        j: is this really about the case? h:see u 2morrow

        jay(grabs her shoulder): u sure u ok? let me know if you need anything

        how’supton? jay: idunno  

5x07 look at each other to open door

        voight: you got a take hailey? neutral

        microphone up (first time saying jay 2hisface)

        looks at hailey so she’d start the fight

        iknowwhathesaw, was what u said true. jay is pissed

        first fight: voight says hailey. she denies jay’s request

        jayx4 points the gun at her

        hailey calls him, he rolls eyes

5x08 first time calls her hailey (don’t need no babysitter)

5x09 hailey texts him, rolls eyes

        I’ll stay with the suspect hailey

        big potato talk (she’s driving)

        flirty let’s check out his alibi

        he looked at her and then they look at each other but it’s fast (questioning junkie)

        they take a selfie, he puts arm around her she wants to but stops herself

5x10* camila episode

        introduces her as hailey - but she’s gay

        we’re gonna talk about her, now (calls her jay) I’m fine lie.

        you can’t talk to her - jay you’re not thinking straight

        thinks she betrayed her

        “back off jay”

         looks at him over camila’s shoulder

         they look at each other - after camilla’s dismissal

         hailey is worried about him

         she threatens camilla, saying I - his real name is jay x2

5x11 if you’re not serious I need a new partner (shoulder tap)

        he wants back to therapy cause of ultimatum

5x12 “jay come back.” platt’s birthday (shoulder punch)- lookateachother

         he uses her desk like he doesn’t have one

         she pushes jays back to get to voight

         they’re hiding together

5x13  look at each other at restaurant

         how’s therapy going?

         “jay!” - spots the suspects

5x14  flag dispute

        look each other when they get shots fired

        sits on hailey’s desk

        I used to be a soldier-looks at hailey x2

        she admires that he respects the kneeler

5x15 she puts arm on his shoulder

        sits on hailey’s desk about q

        italian guy flirting, women are more loyal then men

        jay, you got her?

5x16 bomb-she falls down he grabs her

       he sitting on her desk

       cF(6x13) calls her to ask about voight

5x17 he’s sitting on her desk

        uh-oh i just saw a rat arm tap

5x18* titus episode: jay also calls adam ruz?

        how do u know this guy?

        looks after she explains

        i pitch jay as a potential buyer

        you look like a real couple

        hailey, thought he bit but

        you were hailey’s case officer, she’s my partner

        hailey, we gotta talk about this, did he rape you

        i can handle this jay- I said the same thing u called me out (shoulder tap)

        touches her arm, booth notices

        he asked me if i slept with her,

        hailey you’re way too emotional

        jay: me too. hailey’s solid,hailey’s gonna callme

        he reaches for his gun when booth gets handsy with her

        5 time hailey, please (grabs her shoulder)

        looks after her when arresting

        comes to her house, hailey u got him

        two deletes scenes: therapy is over

        you’re incredibly aloof about your private life

5x19 sitting on hailey’s desk, gives her jacket

        looks at homeless jay

        saves her life, you good? good.

5x20 look at each other during shootout

        talk about erin

5x21 he and kevin fight and she calms them

        h:I just talked to halstead

        sarge if you need sth - she’s same to everyone

        he’s sitting on her desk

5x22 hank x trudy hug (personal ship)

        jay comes back from crying grabs her shoulder, she grabs his hand

        jay sits on her desk

deleted scene: pushes her out of line of fire

6x01 trudy comes to see hank (personal ship)

        “jay” go be undercover junkie

         gets his jacket to him

6x02 look at each other in morgue

        she uses his computer

        she looks at him worried before they go busting

        damn it jay. jay, I almost shot you

        need me to talk to u. I don’t need anything jay.

        innocent man, jay. second fight? keeps looking at him

        jay, back off. she pushes him hard, grabs his chest

        she grabs his arm to pull him back

        “you’re too close jay” I’m done being your punching bag -his eyes never leave her

         he’s shot, she’s distressed jay x 4 (she checks his body)

         Hailey, I’m sorry. touches his knee as she gets up then cries

deleted scene jay I thought you were with will, pats arm working this case?

6x03 halstead calls her. she slept with adam

        I gotta meet jay

        you’re like never late. he looks at her after she dismisses him

        checks to see if she follows

        gonna grab halstead and dig in

        look at each other

6x04 greets her when nobody notices

        she gets  the suspect by jumping on him (gay moment for me)

        ready? eye contact

6x05 she knows how to handle idiots

        makes way for her like the first time they met

        I don’t care if we’re sleeping 2gether talk to voight (to adam) LOVE HER

6x06* voight learns about upzek

        i dont do violence

        adam undermines her, she gets angry

        look at each other when talking to voight

       keeps looking at jay when he talks

       hailey we gotta talk. I confirmed his alibi

       hailey you did what you have to, she cries to him about her guilt adam interrupts.

       nothing good comes from workplace romance (he has some feelings?)

       even when he’s debriefing; he looks at hailey. adam doesn’t

       I know u don’t wanna talk about it flirting. she’s sad

       tries to explain to adam: this halstead thing

6x07* looks at him when they’re listening to wire

        he wants to help kev, she grabs his arm to stop

        legally blind witness flirting

        bomb goes off - are u ok? grabs her

        va is dead, she checks on him, he look at her. all with eyes

        pushes her in the room, through her shoulder

        u got me? yeah.

        burqa woman incident. jay x2 , hold on. hailey x7, stop

        we’re not mind readers hailey. *whispering softly you’re not in war anymore*

        look at each other, in the interview

        she doesn’t believe the guy he does.

        sits on her desk

        introduces her as upton to racist woman

        save the commentary and scroll look

        this thing between us. I screwed up hailey. I have bias (her hand on his shoulder)

        looks at her when they walk (feelings maybe?)

6x08 u know she’s with me right?

        adam compliments, jay looks at her

        steals a pen from him in the background when antonio is on the phone

        kev’s suspect calls her out look each other.

        kev asks to talk to snitch, she taps jay to leave

6x09 when adam talks about commitment she gets scared

        jay calls everyone by surnames except “hailey”

        flying blind is fun flirting

        “jay” spotted a camera

        sweeps the house, touches her arm

        suspect pushes her, he catches her and adam punches

        she dresses kim’s vest (gay shriek)

6x10* hailey, come on x2

        she’s angry. looks at him. he look to voight

        voight: trudy. ride with me to the scene (personal)

        asks his opinion on ruzek and iad.

        he catches upzek. she’s upset he saw.

        “a guy I’m dating upzek talk with voight”

         we’re always gonna be good talk

6x11 kelton comes. look at each other.

6x12* he gets agitated, she supports him with her looks, he checks for support

        “jay you allright” kelton denied funds. hailey, we got him rn.

         looks at the bus stop. supporting love. looks.

        she catches him over the body “jay, you ok?” hailey arrived after me.

        she’s angry and he looks at her.she leaves he stays. head salute.

        hailey, what’s up. jay you went dark. is that what you think? jay…

        voight warns him. she’s worried behind.

        she looks you ok? he looks yes go. first nonverbal.

        voight compliments him.

        long week. u can’t right every wrong “jay”. flirting then adam calls. go..

6x13 surveillance flirting about kev

       what the hell look at her

6x14 kim catches upzek

        she gets kidnapped he’s worried

        he’s ok with voight’s tactics cause she’s missing

        he fights with ruzek.

        she’s proud of kim. (personal)

        ruzek goes to kim first.

        he stands up when he sees her. he’s so sad and angry

        she checks jay. he’s upset

6x15* he’s talking to her on the phone

        check if he’s coming behind her

        pushes back her chair to sit on her desk

        “Hailey he’s headed to you” “squad advise my partner ” x 2

         upton are you copying? copy jay are you ok? hailey he’s armed.

         jay! we’re coming in!

         you good? yeah you? yeah

         she’s driving

         jay we’re good. “do what your ladyfriend tell you to do”

         looks at her before he gets out

         they look at each other, he says no she listens

         she keeps checking on him, he assures her after

         he has a hunch, she supports him. he thanks with eyes, she says np with eyes

         he defends his hunch, she silently supports him. then look at each other for thx

         eyes talk: come with me? right now? ok?

         suspect says he’ll snitch, they look at each other we got it

         I’ll follow you blind talk. (she half-confessed her feelings to him)

6x16  “sarge what you don’t let me and hailey go?” “hailey?” and gets her jacket

         I’m halstead and she’s upton.

         I’ll catch up with you, forearm grip

         he waited at the entrance

         serial killer talks to her, he gets nervous

         runs to the car/him, “I got Hailey”

6x17 sitting on her desk

        looks at her, checking out buildings

        “oh yeah good one” arm pat

        looks at her when she’s not looking and looks away when she turns

        throws usb to him, he catches

        they judge the juvie guy together

        voight offers himself to suspect he checks her face to see what she thinks

        they look at each other this time when they been judgey

6x18  sitting on her desk

         hands on her desk when she’s not there like it’s his :)

6x19 towering over her while she looks at the footage

        jay! blue buick

        she tries to help the victim and looks at jay to see if she can he looks no

        she supports kim no qs ask when kim barges in, normally follows the rules

        ruzek keeps checking on kim-believes her immediately  like jay and hailey

        he was sitting on her desk since before hank came in

6x20 she doesn’t wanna meet ruzek’s family?? i dunno

        pats her arm after she’s shot at

        they shadow ruzek but she calls it off. jay doesn’t interfere & looks the whole time

        ruzek wants answers he tries to cover and supports her and tell ruz to let it go

        ruz thinks it’s cause of burzek but it’s not.

        “jay talked to”

         she holds off the op he’s worried a little in the car.

         upstead communicate silently and without questioning

         she checks on jay while he fights the suspect

         she questions her relationship with adam, platt says if he’s not the one end it

         she breaks up with ruzek, and admits they’re not the one for each other

6x21 she’s a bit cocky to the suspect and he smiles a little whilst he turns???

        TRUDY AND HANK what could have been

         they sit at their desk together

         “hailey tell the port supervisor…”

6x22* voight explains the plan, they look at each other worried

        he breaks into the car so fast she flirting

        “jay you close”

         she crashes to save him

         “I’m going where you go” they’re both surprised he said it

         he protects her first when they’re shot at in the van, ‘we’re good“

         she looks at her happily when there’s a lead

         they arrest their shooter together, “me and my partner”

         he’s pressured, she notices. “you’ll forget about me” “hailey” never.

         he want to confess sth but she stops him?

         adam kisses platt :)

         he’s sitting on her desk

[thatludicrousdisplay]

Okay I saw a post a while ago asking for Claes Bang and Jon Hamm to be in a show. WELL.

I ACTUALLY HAVE AN IDEA FOR THIS OKAY:

So Claes Bang (CB for shorthand here because I haven’t decided on character names yet) plays a recluse dude who has really severe but specific social anxiety. He’s fine at night, and regularly goes to dark parties, goes out walking at night etc, but is fully terrified of the light because he’s scared of “being caught” (full-blown imposter syndrome). He does some undisclosed yet shady job from home, and writes a blog on obscure history on the side. Jon Hamm (JH) is the arrogant hot-shot lawyer (or professor, I haven’t really decided yet) who is a real party-boy, notorious for having one night stands and known for not being able to hold down a boyfriend for longer than 5 minutes. Everything in the show is told How-I-Met-Your-Mother-style (and we never know who they’re talking to until the end, it’s their kid btw). The commentary is hilarious and interspersed with them arguing over minor details (which shirt JH was wearing, what music CB was listening to, etc).

So one night, CB is out at a gay club because it’s pretty dark and he’s run out of good alcohol at home. Sees JH from across the room whilst he’s sitting uncomfortably at the bar, but it doesn’t really mean much to him. Then all of a sudden the lights all come up in the bar (someone lost their wallet or something, idk). CB goes into full-blown meltdown. Starts having a massive panic attack in the middle of the club, drops his drink, starts grabbing at his hair to try and ground himself, etc. Most of the people in the club avoid him like the plague but to everyone’s surprise JH goes over to him and whisks him out of the club to the dark alleyway out back (JH isn’t stupid and kinda surmised that the lights set him off). Manages to calm him down a bit, but CB is still sobbing his eyes out so JH offers him a ride home (he actually hadn’t had a chance to get a drink in the bar) and CB just about manages to choke an address (in some swanky part of London). JH takes him home and then sleeps on his sofa because he’s really worried about him. They exchange numbers in the morning (CB is very embarrassed) and then JH leaves and doesn’t think much about it.

At least, JH forgets about it until he gets a call from a crying CB at like 2 in the morning asking him to pick him up from the little Tesco around the corner from his house. The show is just their evolving romance with their hilarious voiceover. It’s very gay and highly emotional, with JH helping CB work through his issues (BUT he doesn’t turn him suddenly into an extrovert, because not every introvert has to become extroverted to have a successful character arc) and CB helping JH realise that it’s alright to be a bit emotional sometimes and that he can be himself. They end up getting married and adopting a kid.

OH and there’s also a (sort of) sex scene like 7/8 episodes in (this is a 20-episode series, 45 minute episodes) in. They’re both up for it (obviously) but CB is looking visibly nervous. So they’re shirtless, kissing on the bed, JH is sorta straddling CB (because, as CB often jokes, he wants to feel taller)?? But then JH breaks away and breathlessly starts asking about “are you sure you want to do this?” And “have you been tested?” (Because we reach safe sex kids). CB looks shifty and says “I don’t need to be”. JH starts off on this spiel of “even if you’ve always used a condom it’s always best to get tested because you never know” etc, when CB interrupts and says “no, I don’t think you get it, I don’t need to be tested”. JH stops, is silent for a few minutes and then says very quietly “so I’m your first time?”. CB nods uncomfortably. JH climbs off of him, and they both sit on the edge of the bed for a good 20 seconds in silence. Then JH looks very slowly over at CB (whose staring into the corner trying very hard not to cry), gently grasps his chin and turns his face towards him, kisses him softly and says “I am honoured”.

And don’t forget about cameos!! I’m getting Dolly Wells in as CB’s concerned BFF/therapist (again, haven’t decided, but most likely therapist) who occasionally brings him groceries when she knows he’s having a particularly bad time of it. There will be a party at one time (spoiler alert, it ends with CB literally yeeting himself out of the room and locking himself in the bathroom because he can’t cope with it) and I will be damned if I don’t get Michael Sheen and David Tennant as chaotic husbands there.

I’m gonna have to go and actually write this screenplay now lol

(Just to note, CB is pan and demisexual and JH is gay af)

[bisexualamy]

Nadiya, Lup, Here There Be Gerblins, Petals to the Metal, Lenny, Tres Horny Boys, Lunar Interlude, and of course, Remmy

Yes yes yes thank you!

Nadiya: Be proud – talk about something you’re good at.

I have to put in the obligatory goofy one of, at this point, I can pretty much identify every font that comes with default Microsoft Word (2007 and back, I stopped using Word during high school and don’t own it) on sight, plus some extras that aren’t in the defaults but I use a lot in design projects.

The not goofy one is I’m very good at just... articulating myself I think is the best way to put it. It used to just come out in the fact that I’m a good writer, and I’m trying to own that more because I used to own it when I was younger and then decided I shouldn’t be so public about it because it came off as arrogant. But now it’s also coming out in the fact that like, I’m a surprisingly confident public speaker for someone who can be very insecure, and I’ve had a lot of people tell me that I have good emotional intelligence, which is a very high compliment to me. I’ve always been good at sort of, identifying what I’m feeling and explaining it to myself, but only recently have I been able to put those feelings into words and explanations that other people can understand too.

Lup: You are so loved and love in return – gush about at least one sibling, friend, or partner.

I’m so fucking grateful for the fact that I have a bunch of friends now that really just love me unconditionally. I’ve talked about it a few times on this blog but I was also talking about it with my parents now that I’m home, of how I had a very rough freshman year of college and my close friends would’ve been totally justified in taking a step back from me and didn’t. Like, the majority of those people don’t use tumblr, and the ones that do know who they are and I don’t feel super comfortable @ing them.

I don’t mean this in a way of like “you should stick by your friends no matter what” because I think it’s very important to recognize when you, personally, need to take care of yourself and stop prioritizing other people above yourself. I think it takes a specific kind of person to compartmentalize other people’s emotions away from your own life experiences, and know when to step in and when to say no, and I’m super grateful that I have a core group of people that were able to do that with me freshman year. I don’t know if I would be as healthy as I am now without having those wonderful people in my life.

Here There Be Gerblins: Embrace nostalgia – what was your first encounter with a loved one?

I hate flirting specifically because I cannot pick up on the subtly that’s intrinsic to it, and I would really much rather people just come up to me and be like “I like you; let’s date” because I feel like it saves a lot of time and emotional distress. And people don’t believe me when I say this because I’m very good at reading people, but for some reason flirting specifically is a blind spot for me. My point is that when they don’t believe me I always tell the story of how I started dating one of my best friends from high school. This isn’t technically a first encounter but it is sort of, the start of a relationship, and it’s really cute so I’m gonna tell it anyway.

He’s a year above me and we were very close friends throughout the two years we knew each other before he graduated, and then when we went to college and I was a senior we still kept in close contact. And my mom kept telling me he was flirting with me (he at one point made me a sword for a cosplay I never ended up finishing, just because he “wanted a project” and he had a wood shop in his basement) but I didn’t buy it because I assumed he’d just say something.

Anyway May of my senior year of high school he came back after his freshman year and we were hanging out a bunch and over at a mutual friend’s house and cuddling on the couch and I promise you, my internal monologue was “wow isn’t it incredible that two bi/pan guys can just be gay with each other on a couch in a platonic way” because I’m fucking clueless. And he walked me to my car when we went to leave and gave me a hug, and this was still my internal monologue up until he kissed my forehead and I went “.......wait a second. Is that platonic?” Because again, I’m so so so bad at picking up on this shit.

It got brought up like five days later and we ended up dating for a few months but after I was in college for a bit I realized I don’t like long distance relationships and we had a super civil breakup. We still talk somewhat regularly and I consider us good friends still. He knows this story and he finds it hilarious because I’ve always been very very bad at picking up on flirting, which is what finally just led to him being more direct. Case and point: I found out like, literally a few months ago that not only was he flirting with me that summer, but he was into me for at least a year before that. The sword was flirting (I know, shocking). My mom was right.

Petals to the Metal: Sometimes we need to let loose – when have you done something you shouldn’t have because it made you happy?

Unhealthy coping mechanisms that I’ve kicked or am trying to kick don’t really have a place in a thread about positivity, so instead I’m gonna go really stereotypical Art Student™. I love trespassing in places to take photographs. I’ve never like, gone to a place that I REALLY shouldn’t have been, but I have wandered around some abandoned places that were totally intended to be locked or off limits. 

Photography makes me really happy, even the process of editing the photos in post-production is very calming for me, so I try to do it when I can. Probably the most dangerous place I’ve ever done this is on live train tracks? Live in the sense that like, trains run up and down them on the daily (they’re not electrified) and I still walk along/on them, because I figured that if a train was coming I’d hear it. I, no joke, am doing this again in two days, and scheduled a photoshoot with someone on these train tracks, because the aesthetic is really nice (especially in the snow) and I’ve done it twice before, so maybe I’m a little cocky. My sister mentioned to me that I should check the train schedule and coordinate around it this time, which honestly, I probably should.

Lenny: “You may remember, you subscribed to the cylinder of the month club” – what is something you are well-known (or notorious) for?

The fonts thing definitely. I regularly get messages from people asking me to identify fonts for them. Also I say some really ridiculous things occasionally that I’ve not yet lived down. I’m not going to revive them by repeating them here. ALSO “what is Ren short for” is a game that has continued past my legal name change and will probably continue into infinity. Answers are getting increasingly creative, though Renjamin is definitely the most popular and has evolved into something people actually, regularly address me as.

Tres Horny Boys: “Nobody ever say that out loud ever again please” – what is your worst nickname?

Someone once realized that you can make a Ronald Regan pun off of “what is Ren short for” and it didn’t last because all my friends are Gays™ but that’s gotta be the worst answer to this game.

Lunar Interlude: “I hand Leon the token” – how do you make your friends laugh?

So for the longest time I was convinced I was just Not Funny At All until I started doing improv my junior year of high school and was (to me, shockingly) good at it, and then I realized it was more of a lack of confidence than anything else. This is going to sound really stilted and empirical, but doing improv off and on for a few years and performing in front of lots of different kinds of people and audiences has made me really aware of the techniques people use to make people laugh, and has given me a sort of “shorthand” for how to, in most cases, land a joke. This is not a discovery on my part: there are 100s of podcasts and books on this stuff (I literally just finished a design project on this), but it’s a lot easier for me to understand something if I’ve experienced it.

Inside jokes are always a way that my friends and I laugh with each other, but beyond that, the golden rule for me is that specificity always gets a laugh above a general statement. If your funny comment is really tailored to your audience or in general just contains a super specific detail (3.5 minutes versus a few minutes) people find it funnier. I haven’t quite figured out why yet, though. Honestly though, I’m friends with a ton of creative people, and the times we laugh the most is just when we banter in the same space together without shooting each other down. I’m trying my best to stop shooting down comments people make, no matter how ridiculous, as long as I’m not uncomfortable. Jokes tend to build on each other and so if you’re in a supportive, funny environment, things just get funnier.

Remmy: Love is a motivator – who do you want to make proud?

It might sound like a cop out but myself. I used to really hate that concept, but I’ve been recently finding a lot of power in self-improvement. I try really hard to incorporate mindfullness and reflection into my life, and recognizing that I’m in a better place (academically, socially, emotionally, etc) then where I was in the past makes me feel really content.

Like, obviously I like when people appreciate the work I do, and the support of my friends and family is very important to me, but I try not to specifically improve to make others proud of me. The person I’m guaranteed to spend my entire life with is myself, so I should make sure I’m proud of myself first.