#⌈ STULTIFYING HIDEOUSNESS ⌋ ( hc : hyacinthe. )

[timeshuffles]

misc. headcanons

hyacinthe

traditional means of warding off vampires, such as garlic, silver, wooden stakes, religious iconography, sunlight, and sheltering in private dwellings into which she has not been invited, do not work on her.

insect repellant does.

she eats primarily fruit. enormous quantities of fruit. strictly speaking she doesn't actually need blood to survive, only to nourish her eggs. however, blood is delicious and drinking it gives her a euphoric high, so she indulges in its consumption as often as possible.

she, like the sleeper and the thing under the manor, is an eldritch being from somewhere else and her very presence in our plane of existence breeds corruption and decay. she has been here since the world began, but is much older than that; for as long as there has been life to feed upon, she has existed in one form or another.

and by extension she cannot be killed, not really. her physical body can be destroyed but the primordial force that animates it will simply restore it to life or create a new one.

her blood is the essence of her power; it is corruptive, incredibly addictive, and preys upon the disposition  of the person consuming it — a sensitive artist might be plunged into constant night terrors and vivid hallucinations, while a tough athlete might experience violent rages and unnatural bursts of strength. the only consistent symptom is an intense, all-consuming euphoria while under the effects; everything else is just the blood turning the drinker into an exaggerated nightmare version of themselves. prolonged exposure also causes mutation into increasingly arthropoid forms.

you know how female spiders sometimes eat males in the middle of mating with them? yeah.

delia

autistic. i don't make the rules

grabbing the make-believe glass lydia toasts with while joking about poisoning one of charles's business associates & smashing it with complete seriousness, and getting fully into the spirit of bj's let's-kill-people "game show" ("don't worry otho, we'll put you in the souuul box!") are both manifestations of how she copes with not being great at picking up cues — she can't rly tell when people are joking or not so she just. commits to playing along with complete earnestness and this habit is now so engrained she sticks to it even when a literal demon is planning her death

she quotes otho all. the. time. bc she feels he really helped her through the darkest times of her life and she desperately wants to help other people but doesn't quite know how so she repeats his sayings verbatim bc if they helped her they'll help other people too, 

her cat is named amethyst and he fucking ADORES her and snuggles with her as often is possible but WILL jump onto the highest available surface and glare imperiously at anyone else who so much as looks at him and so help you if you try to pet him 

she got sucked into an mlm scheme once when she was in college and is now extremely vocally anti-mlm

never had a horse girl phase growing up bc horses are scary

was born on february 29 and refuses to celebrate her birthday except on leap years  because she feels that having a birthday party only once every four years makes it more special

dee dee

dated joanne for like a month one time. they broke up bc joanne kept calling her tony awards participation trophies

she has congenital prosopagnosia, which is the main reason she comes off as exceedingly narcissistic — she can't recognize faces, so she almost never remembers names and has terrible difficulty keeping track of other factual information about people.

(she is of course also actually a narcissist, but contrary to popular opinion that has very little to do with her inability to remember things about people.)

she always, always, always comes out the stage door no matter how awful the weather or how sick or tired she might feel; it's a huge shot of validation and praise and people wanting selfies and so on and bc of that it's frequently the best part of her day.

was stalked by a fan once and is still kind of nervous about it happening again

her first tony was for swallow the moon and her second was for a revival of follies wherein she played phyllis stone

the latter was won on in the midst of her very public and very messy divorce from ed sharpe and her acceptance speech 100% included a "thank you to my EX husband" and a joke about how yes, she could leave him. no one does petty like dee dee allen

elaine

lesbian

has always been at least vaguely cognizant of the narrator's influence in her life but didn't know what it was until she crossed paths with the witch; specifically as a character in the story she wasn't able to directly see or hear the one telling it until her first direct exposure to magic via breaking the curse of ugliness on the witch.

by vaguely cognizant i mean she had this feeling of entrapment and discomfort all her life but could never quite put it to words; like — she has everything she ever thought she wanted except for a child so she's happy but in reality she's discontent, even miserable — the story the narrator told for her is not the life she would've lived if she had the choice

what im getting at here is the narrator straightwashed her

after the narrator is killed all the unhappiness bubbles to the surface and gets intensified by the ongoing arguments with her husband, but she never has the time to rly pick through those feelings and identify that they stem in part from just not liking men in general, which is why she immediately goes for the first stereotypical Attractive Man who looks her way and why she's so disgusted after it's over

she can't do magic but she does has the knack for it — she could learn if she tried

craves adventure and just, new experiences? she doesn't mind baking and she's quite good at it but she gets so bored doing the same thing day after day.

great pastries but her specialty as far as baking goes is rly just straight up bread. she makes the softest fluffiest rolls ever and a nutty sourdough rye bread that is renowned for miles around.

[timeshuffles]

tag dump // i can’t handle not having dedicated hc tags anymore