#⌜❝ 𝙰. is this what the resurrection feels like? ⟩⟩

[incendiorum]

io post resurrection is lost. they fade. in and out. moments of lucidity paired with moments of complete dissociation. sometimes stirred into activity by cues hard to discern. when they speak, their voice cracks in disuse. it's hard to remember the last time they did speak. an hour ago? a day ago? a week, a month? so, so much has been suddenly dropped onto their shoulders. their own death, learning who they are, who venadeus is. inhaling again, that first painful breath, and having to clean up their own murder. a wound that still bleeds, but this time oozes ichor. io chooses to come back, but io does not cope well with it for a good, long while. they grow into it, in fits and starts. the new power becomes less of a overstimulating burden and becomes something much more freeing. the slow growth is interspersed with them slowly filling their domain. touching on new powers and vanishing without a word because of it. but... it takes a while. and io is in no place to comfort the bereaved around them during, except for those rare days where they are fully, almost, themself.

[scriptom]

𝙴𝚇𝚃. :      𝙰  𝙵𝙸𝙴𝙻𝙳  𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃  𝙷𝙴  𝙼𝚄𝚂𝚃  𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴𝚁  𝙰  𝚂𝙴𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙳  𝙷𝙾𝙼𝙴      --      𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙻𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃𝚂  𝙰𝚁𝙴  𝙰𝙻𝙼𝙾𝚂𝚃  𝙱𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶

nora had never known exactly what kind of life she had been missing out on :      as life passed her by ,      she had remained stuck behind the four walls of the prison of brenner’s own design ,      never allowed to leave without his permission .      her own interactions with the outside world had been limited explicitly to the missions she and hope had been tasked with ,      had been monitored and regulated just as much as her time in the lab .      maybe that’s exactly how brenner liked it ,      maybe that was how he ensured that they’d never leave            (      that his favorite little experiments would never escape the hell he’d put them in      ) .            nora had never had the ability to desire anything for herself ,      had never been given the chance to imagine a life without the burdens of her own haunted memories .      maybe she would’ve loved being a cheerleader ,      𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎  𝚜𝚑𝚎  𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍’𝚟𝚎  𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍  𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐  𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒  𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚜  𝚝𝚘  𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢  𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝  𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚝𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚕  𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 ,      doing provocative dances for a screaming crowd ,      feeling the warmth of the iridescent lights surrounding them .

𝙽𝙾𝚁𝙰 :      so this is the infamous field that all you jocks won’t shut up about .

quiet words escape pursed lips as eyes survey the expansive stretch of greenery ,      as exhaled air curls upward like smoke .      nora could never have that life even if she wanted to ,      would never be able to forget the life that had long since plagued her :      tattoo burned against healed skin like a brand ,      a reminder of everything that had been taken away from her ,      𝚊  𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛  𝚘𝚏  𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝  𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍  𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛  𝚋𝚎  𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍 .

even now ,      the bright lights burn at her eyes ,      threaten to resurrect memories that had long been suppressed in the back of her mind .      she never should’ve come back to hawkins ,      never should’ve tried living the lie she’d dreamt of since leaving the laboratory .      the thought alone makes her flinch and turn away from brae ,      eyes remain distant on the horizon as they flicker yellow ,      as fingers tighten into fists and as claws threaten to break through the skin .      nora had made it a point to avoid the field ,      to avoid thinking of the life she could’ve had :      brae didn’t know just how lucky he was .      none of them did .

hands unclench and fingers brush strands of auburn up into a messy ponytail as delicate figure turns to face him again ,      as dorky smile is forced upon her expression            (      though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes anymore      ) .

𝙽𝙾𝚁𝙰 :      i gotta say ...      i’m not all that impressed .

↳         @jockclair   liked   this   for   a   starter     //      brae      +      nora

[incendiorum]

io as venadeus is never going to be a god that welcomes or desires worship/followers. for a lot of reasons: because they loath any position of leadership or guidance of any kind; because they care little for most people; and because of what they'll be a god of. you can't pray for a landslide to part around you, you can't pray for an avalanche to stop, and you cannot pray and beg for a wildfire to divert course. nature can and will get you, if you don't take the time to listen to it.

[incendiorum]

io accepts venadeus's proposal in every universe. although it's true that sometimes he tricks them - especially the younger or more volatile they are. he sees io as his to shape into a destructive force of nature and unleash on the world. best exemplified by their fantasy verse, where he does just that with an io who is both young and angry. in most universes, however, he does reveal the full truth, and he's entirely confident that io will always say yes and take his place. and it's true - io, no matter the universe and no matter what has happened to them, will always want to live and will always say yes. but the line ends with them, no exceptions. io is the ninth and last venadeus. most of the time they do take the same domain as the god of violent nature. but it changes, sometimes. in their fantasy verse, venadeus did not tell that they were a demigod, and that they would ascend as a full god in his place. he saw someone who was angry and betrayed and used that. io in this universe died to a man who had been scammed by their mother, and they died witnessing how little their parents truly cared about them. in their mer verse, they die at sea, pushed from the deck of a boat, and become a god of isolation and loneliness. this is also one where venadeus doesn't reveal the truth, and it's more out of disappointment with the small, sad child in front of them. in their western verse venadeus sees the opportunity to shape them into a machine of vengeance. he reveals everything. io, who died alongside lucius here, is the only one of the two to come back. furious and heartbroken, they embrace the role venadeus gave them and lose themself to both nature and their quest.

[incendiorum]

io after accepting venadeus viii's proposal has... significant issues with not really believing they're alive again. in a way, they're not - they've become a concept. the moment they became a god they stretched infinitely forwards and backwards. the last scar they'll ever get is the one that killed them, knotted and ugly and never fading. io clings to their humanity as much as they try to embrace their divinity. the resurrection isn't easy. the idea of being dead for a length of time isn't easy. io comes to in a body that can feel the utter agony of it all. a hundred new sensations (can feel it all happening all at once and everywhere and how do you turn awareness of everything you are off?) and it's impossible to even tell if there's breath in their lungs or if their heart is beating and oh, yes they weren't breathing and they just remembered how and it hurts. but do they even need to? io clings to the last shreds of humanity, but humanity wasn't even really theirs to begin with. was living ever really theirs, too?

[incendiorum]

it's never really a question of if io is going to accept venadeus's proposal, it's a matter of when. because their godhood and personality afterward changes dramatically depending on death. for example, if they had died when they were attacked at 22-23 years of age, they would have come back bitter, aggressive, and wrathful. no one had helped them, tried to saved them, and they were very aware of this fact. and on top of that, they hadn't exactly had a loving experience with life at that point. if they had died when their throat was cut a few years later, they would have come back gentle. they were loved. they had people to live for and continue to love in return. if they had died drinking the same wine that had killed lucius, and only one of them came back (io) it would have been scorched earth. if they accepted venadeus's proposal right now? I think it depends a lot on circumstance and who is around them. they could come back softer, more relaxed. and they could come back haunted and lost. they could... also entirely come back the way they would have the first time. aggressive and furious.

[incendiorum]

tag dump #2