#◾ I blinked and the world was gone — ooc

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Update for my blogs. I'm still here, they are not abandoned. I know I put low activity but, once again I like to stress while this is a hobby, it's a hobby one doesn't enjoy alone, so I am just letting you all know what's going on with me being gone.

As many of you know my health since the start of the year has been in constant limbo and it's been a fight, and my clinical depression hit a new low. I don't talk about it much, as I never want to trigger someone battling their own demons, but I didn't even know how bad it was until recently when I was finally able to start seeing a doctor I could afford.

My ADHD has also spiraled into a nasty burnout and I'm just kind of on autopilot. I still love you all, and I promise I'm not ignoring you who have me on Discord. I just have such low spoons I don't think I have more.

But! I am starting new meds, I am back on Zoloft, which in the past worked really well with me. I am also on a non-stim med for my ADHD and once my BP (My bp is still sitting at like 180/110 and that's it going down) meds are figured out and working, I will be on a stim med for my ADHD as well.

I will continue to be a little active here and there, or more active when my body allows. But I am hopeful once all my meds are working and figured out things will be much better.

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// Okay so new blog has the basics up and running so I might archive this blog on Monday and start following people then. Please bare with me on that blog as move things over. Almost a decade of things are on this blog and I know somethings will get left behind. If you want me to move a thread or more over please like this. Also like this if you want me to refollow you!

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// @noseblxxd I had taken a screenshot while you were dying.

BEHOLD THE CAKE!

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Right, I'm not going to make this look fancy because I'm mad I even have to do it.

I went to the ER late last night/ early this morning, I have meningitis and I've missed so much work being sick, and both my parents being in the hospital for their hearts, we are financially fucked at the moment. We're still paying off cancer treatments and other medical debts I've incurred. I live in TN, and it's a nightmare here financially and medically.

I know money is tight for all of us, and I literally have no skills to offer commissions, unless you want me to build a home in the sims 4, and even then I'm not like those you see on Youtube, so any help is grateful, or just boosting this. Honestly even getting anything to help us ease this crash we are heading to will be helpful.

My Kofi page

Thanks to everyone for reading this.

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// I can remove backgrounds? I AM GOD!!!!

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Okay, I think I'm back. I have court tomorrow for the lawsuit I have going against my former apartment complex, but I think I am finally in a better place, and I think the burnout is easing up.

That and I just experienced "cozy game toxicity" and made me fully realize how much I missed rping, if that makes sense lol.

Still to ease back in I have things queued and they won't start being spit out until tomorrow.

Thank all of you for sticking around and all of you who messaged me privately to check on me, even if I didn't respond. You all are amazing and I am grateful for the rp partners I have on here.

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// Never getting over how tired this man looks

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I just want everyone to know that Ras basically helps Cassian ( @crimesought) become a slightly more moral person with sweets and the power of cooking.

Man is out here carrying around homemade baked goods to lure his boyfriend away from a life of crime...well, sort of. He's cool with him stealing from terrible rich people.

Ras can get loosey-goosey with his morals if he feels it's right.

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// When you walk into the wrong club

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// I think this is the new Reshade? Thoughts? I can't find one that's made around HDR so my screenshots don't actually look the same as what things look like in-game, but I think this is the muted aesthetic that fits Ras

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// Also, I always say this and can never stress this enough, with my neruodivergency, music is huge thing for me, like it ties into everything. I can't function without background music. But because of that I associate it with everything, and it bleeds into RP. I have songs for specific things, I have songs for muses Ras interacts with because it makes me think of them or that muse specifically, whether it's the lyrics or the melody. So when I start actively talking to people, it takes all of me to not just spam them with music.

Mostly because of how music functions for me, I am sending all manner of genres so I might send something you absolutely hate and I am so sorry.

I really could just make starters around music and be happy.

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I think because BG 3 only allows us to go to 12 and because the game has to make changes so things translate to the new medium, the group is made up of some incredibly powerful people. Astarion is the easiest to look at, even in 5e vampire spawn are no joke, they are strong, fast, agile, you know superhuman, and are like this taste of if you think they were rough wait until you face off who made them. While Cazador kept them just shy of feral there is no denying Astarion could take on most mortals with no effort on his end.

Which makes me wonder if his deciding to group up with Tav and co isn't so much because he's a bit uneasy about being in the sun or the tadpoles, but because while he is in the sun, he must have felt some shift in his strength and was unsure how close to mortal he was physically now.

Because Wyll even mentions this about how easy it was for him to tangle with some fairly powerful creatures but now he can't. And his power comes from Mizora, which lends to me wonder if the tadpole was interfering with her influence in that aspect. And it's the real reason she wanted this problem taken care of.

Gale also mentions his power being dwindled, however, I feel this is both the tadpole and him also not being a chosen of Mystra. Because her chosen are true powerhouses. Elmenster straight up walked into the Hells and killed Asmodeous' daughter who wasn't just some cast aside spawn, she ruled in the hells with him. So you know. No some small feat.

It's just so great to think that this group if they weren't infected and allowed to function at full power would have mowed through the Sword Coast, lol

Karlach even, infernal engine aside you aren't a tiefling surviving in the Blood War without being a certified badass. Also, barbarians are known to do some wild shit while in rage. Like just not dying. Add the engine into it? I am sure she was a force to reckon with on the field. Rage is a hell of a drug kids.

So really it's Shadowheart and Lae'zel who don't seem to mention feeling weaker, that I am aware of. Perhaps they are closer to what they were before being infected.

Halsin gets powered down, by game so his stats align with the party, as with everyone mentioning he's known for his healing abilities and such I get the impression he's no pushover druid. The same goes with the previous BG companions.

I don't know about Minthy, I am weakling and don't really play evil, so I don't know if she mentions feeling weaker.

And I mean in the context of tabletop, level 12 is no small feat or low level by any means. Considering most games end at level 20 and it's insane to get that high, at 20 you really are heading into the Hells and Abyss to do some more cosmic level adventures, however, I do feel most of the group was like level 15 before the tadpole.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

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I hit two new benchmarks at the gym today, I am doing weighted squats at 80lbs and bench press at 40lbs for 8-10 reps. So next week going to try and up it again.

But like the entire time I could hear Ras laughing and asking if I lift

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// So among the discourse of people being bitter of OCs shipping with canon characters and other nonsense: I give to you: The boy!

Also omg thank you to @qwiqwiaqwi for doing this amazing work! It's so beautiful I cannot even begin to express!

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Dash Game: Ruin

|| From this quiz ||

How are you ruined? || Ruined by Fury

You are angry. you are angry and everyone knows it. the fire within you will not die, cannot die. for if it dies, you won't have a reason to burn. your rage simmers close to your chest, it boils near something you won't touch. you are angry because it is easier than anything else. you are angry because you choose it over pain. you are ruined because you cannot feel anything but your own ire.

tagged by: @deathswcrn

tagging: @cicero-the-assassin @cajunspoons @noseblxxd @dalishflame @lathal @crimesought (Can't remember if you did it) @kaaras-adaar @quiisquiliae (Ashe) @infernaliscor (not sure if you did it)

Anyone else who I didn't tag but hasn't done it, please steal it!

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Shoutout to all the muses trying to tell Ras they think he's hot but he's too dense and emotionally stunted to realize they aren't joking or doing so to ask for a favor.

My son is an idiot and I'm sorry.