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[prettypleasebenicetome]

my relationship with eating is funny as fuck actually. i love to it but it also makes me feel sick as all hell most times. and then most times i have any food my brain goes "oh you shouldn't be having that,,,,, the calories you little shit the calories,,,,,,," so i leave half of it. but even then.

[slutf0rher]

𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 & 𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀

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𝖧𝗂, 𝗂𝗆 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗂! 𝖨'𝗆 𝟣𝟪 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗌 𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖻𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗐 𝗐𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗇, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺 𝖿𝖾𝗐 𝗆𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗌𝖺𝗒. 𝖨 𝖺𝖽𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝖿𝖺𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖿𝖺𝗇𝖿𝗂𝖼𝗌 𝗈𝖼𝖼𝖺𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒!

𝖨 𝗎𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝖺 𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝗉𝗈𝗉𝗎𝗅𝖺𝗋 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗎𝗆𝖻𝗋 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗎𝗅𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝗅𝖾𝖿𝗍 𝗍𝗎𝗆𝖻𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝖿𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗈𝗆 𝖨 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗂𝗇. 𝖡𝗎𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝖨𝖬 𝖡𝖠𝖢𝖪!!

𝖲𝗈 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗆𝗒 𝗋𝗎𝗅𝖾𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝖼𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍:

1. 𝖯𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝖻𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗍𝖿𝗎𝗅 & 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗉𝗉

2. 𝖣𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝗋 𝗌𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗁𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝗎𝗇𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝗈𝗋 𝗈𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗉𝖺𝗀𝖾

3. 𝖡𝖾 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖿𝗎𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝗒𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝗌

4. 𝖨 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗉𝗂𝖼 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾𝗌 𝗆𝖾 𝗎𝗇𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝗈𝗋 𝖽𝗈𝖾𝗌𝗇'𝗍 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗆𝖾

5. 𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗉𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝗍𝗈 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍, 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍

6. 𝖮𝗏𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗅𝗅, 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖻𝖾 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽!

𝖶𝗁𝗈 𝖨 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋:

𝖶𝖶𝖤

- 𝖱𝗁𝖾𝖺 𝖱𝗂𝗉𝗅𝖾𝗒

- 𝖣𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇i𝗄 𝖬𝗒𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗈

- 𝖯𝗈𝗅𝗒! 𝖩𝗎𝖽𝗀𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝖣𝖺𝗒

- 𝖤𝖽𝖽𝗂𝖾 𝖦𝗎𝖾𝗋𝗋𝖾𝗋𝗈

- 𝖫𝗂𝗏 𝖬𝗈𝗋𝗀𝖺𝗇

- 𝖫𝗈𝗀𝖺𝗇 𝖯𝖺𝗎𝗅

- 𝖡𝖾𝖼𝗄y Lynch

𝖲𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋𝗌

- 𝖱𝖾𝗇́𝖾𝖾 𝖱𝖺𝗉𝗉

- 𝖬𝖺𝗒𝖺 𝖧𝖺𝗐𝗄𝖾

- 𝖭𝖾𝗐 𝖩𝖾𝖺𝗇𝗌

- 𝖠𝖾𝗌𝗉𝖺

𝖠𝖼𝗍𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌/𝖠𝖼𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗌

- 𝖧𝗈𝗒𝖾𝗈𝗇

- 𝖩𝗈𝖾 𝖪𝖾𝖾𝗋𝗒

𝖨 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗇, 𝗌𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖼𝗄 𝗂𝗍 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗌! 𝖠𝗇𝖽 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅 𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖾 𝖿𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗉𝖾𝗈𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗈𝖿𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗆𝖺𝗒𝖻𝖾 𝖨'𝗅𝗅 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆!

[lcavinsky]

i actually do want to know how many people are wearing daft punk shirts/merch today this is incredible

[prettypleasebenicetome]

i hate how wide my bone structure is

[prettypleasebenicetome]

fuck i have to get back on the fucking grind going to kill myself wauuuuuugh

[prettypleasebenicetome]

friend really looked at me once in my p.e. kit and said "i forgot you're anorexic" LIKE BITCH I NEVER TOLD YOU HOW DO YOU KNOW 💀💀💀💀

[prettypleasebenicetome]

when i grow up i'm going to become a half-functional alcoholic just like my father

[prettypleasebenicetome]

favorite sweater + of herbs and altars? (also somewhat hungover and my head hurts q: )

[prettypleasebenicetome]

fuck i'm so pathetic i need to be violently degraded augh

[prettypleasebenicetome]

friend isn't making ed jokes about my body so it's time to get smaller i guess

[prettypleasebenicetome]

my behaviors. my fears. my interests. every single facet of my personality is literally just a lie i've added on to make myself more interesting. that last sentence isn't true but it also so is

[prettypleasebenicetome]

i'm eating so much more than last month and yet i still feel sick and lightheaded and nauseous and tired whenever i walk?? what sort of fuckery's going on here

[prettypleasebenicetome]

fuck my mother honestly i hope she leaves me in this country. if she doesn't want me to go she can just say it. i'm not going to stop being trans because you want to protect your reputation.

[prettypleasebenicetome]

i feel strangely hollow. but i am not missing anyone. i saw my friends not last week and ereyesterday so i don't exactly miss them. and once i am at one parent's house the other ceases to exist. i am starting to believe i do not feel safe at home with my mother some days. despite how nice it is when we all talk and enjoy ourselves together the silence is desperately chilling. we speak so as to avoid the silence. with silence comes judgment. i tread on eggshells and tenterhooks with my mother knowing she hates me and everything i do innately. she does not love me. she loves the girl i was. i have just a bit over two years to work for a scholarship and then escape to college where i can feel safe and free. i am not meant to fear my mother. but where else can i go? there's my father. but i don't ever tell him anything. he doesn't know. and if he did i'm not sure how he'd react. he looks at me without judgment but what if i turned in a way to make him? shame is everywhere. i am ashamed of the clothes i wear in the presence of my mother because she is ashamed of them. i'm not sure what i want anymore. i don't want to be skin and bones. i just want the numbers. that's less of a concern now. i just want to be safe. i just want to live to see myself out of here one day. please. please

[prettypleasebenicetome]

sometimes (though it's a selfish wish) i want to look at sick as i feel

[prettypleasebenicetome]

sw for september is 47.5kgs