hello everyone. this is just a gentle reminder to you, that no matter how little or how much you think you did today, just waking up and deciding to embrace the day is good enough. that even what you think is 'a little' is a lot. be proud of yourselves, even for something you might otherwise tell yourself is 'small'. even if you only were able to do 10% today, it was the best you could do and therefore, you did your best and that's all that matters.
also, don't forget to take any vitamins, meds, hydrate or food, whatever you may need or what you may have forgotten. take care of yourselves.♥
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thinking just a little about tcm!verse chrissy before i head to bed, because, like - there can be two options, where the stranger things events already happened beforehand, or she's just existing within tcm without her canon events happening to her, and they would definitely head in different directions.
but for the post st!verse where she survives and moves out to texas, there's just something about her getting out of there, maybe shedding cheerleading and trying to do something new, or trying to make cheerleading hers again. maybe picking a sport up for herself, while she figures out what she wants to do with herself now that her life is hers. making friends that are hers, and not people picked out by her mother. and, ultimately, ending up in that house in texas, and being so much more of a fighter than she used to be and biting back. i want her to grow and blossom and start to fight for herself so bad.
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STARTER CALL.
specify muse or you won’t get anything! feel free to reach out for plots!!
MUSES.
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ASSIGNED CHARACTER ARC
CORRUPTION ARC
So. you got worse. And i'm not entirely sure i can blame you for it. Maybe it was in you all along, hidden and waiting, or maybe someone planted it in you and watched it grow. Either way, it's there now and you hold it in your fist like a scond heart - this blood, this hunger, this thrill of having teeth and using them. Perhaps you are right to. You are a mirror for the hardness of the world, and a mirror that we could all stand to look in more often. It's hard to watch the bleeding bring about more blood, but it is undeniable that you are very good at wounding.
TAGGED BY: @shiroi---kumo
TAGGING: @detectivcprince @oathofpromises ( whichever muse you want ) @raideity @abyssforged and anyone else who wants to ! <3
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🖤 SEASON TWO EP FIVE STARTERS: reminder this will contain spoilers of the episode but will be tagged. if you are a multimuse, please let me know what muse or reduce to a list or two.
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‘ i’ll never be the same . ’ (faye)
❛ yeah, isn't that what everyone says? ❜ her tone is as flippant as always, hazel eyes barely glancing up from where she's sprawled on the bed, flipping through the pages of what she's pretty sure is likely a journal of elena's from when she was twelve. unless the writing hasn't gotten any better over time, in which case . . . yikes. she should maybe think about some writing lessons, or at least look into an editor before trying to publish anything professionally. ❛ which part of the whole thing are we talking about, anyway? general teen angst, or the kind that comes from the supernatural actually existing, and you having a crisis over your boyfriend liking to suck down bunnies like a midnight snack? because yeah, that would throw me for a loop too, not sure if i could look at a guy the same way after that. tell me whether i need to put on my witch hat, or get someone like bonnie to listen to your woes otherwise. ❜
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Y’know, I still wanna make Stella blog on the low-key but I really think people would not like her. I made the Stella blog. Here's some insight into how I view her inner workings. She wont be “one-dimensional” by any means but I don’t intend to victimize her or “erase” anything between her and Stolas, no matter how “bad” she may look in the process. Her reasons exist but whether they’re overly good ones could be challenged. None the less she’s not the asshole in her own mind.
She’s always been a haughty, snotty brat with a vile temper and a nasty streak. But its true a lot of her anger at least toward Stolas is because of the arranged marriage. Because she, also, did not want to be married to someone she had never met. She further never liked Stolas because she instantly took him for a loser and a push over. Stolas did nothing to reassure her that he was anything else, which made her marriage to him even more uncomfortable.
That is to say there seems to be a clear contrast between Stolas and a lot of other members of the royal avian demon sect, whatever we’re calling it. Stoals was disinterested in Stella from day one, the feeling was mutual, which didn’t help their situation yet also Stolas was romantic, sensitive soft-hearted and intellectual.
These have been parts of who Stoals is since he was a child. This behavior got him labelled weird and meant he didn’t have any friends. No one liked him. This carried into his adulthood. Stoals was repeatedly the “odd one”. He likes romance and books and gardening. Not exactly demonic behavior. I don’t know, I feel like while its OBVIOUS demons have varied personalities and interests they’re probably heavily inclined to shun the more “soft hearted” among them.
And I think its very clear Stolas is not really a demon who’s living up to what seems “right” for one.
He's not really fierce or mean or macho. Despite being royalty he even seems to show minimal classism. ( He was scolded as a child for “bowing” to Blitzo ) Stella hated this from day one. Just like Stolas was able to see a picture of little Stella and KNOW she’s not the kind of person he was compatible with, Stella was able to get one look at Stolas and say oh for fuck sake really, this is who you’re putting me with ? Again, it just got worse from there.
But it was royal duty. Neither had any say. So here we have Stella, with her horrible temper, her classism and elitism, her being raised this way and following the ideals of how royalty and perhaps how “demons” and perhaps even “men” should be and act, and here is Stolas dumb ass crapping over the lot of it.
What's worse is he can’t even seem to get it together for duties sake or for the sake of appearances. She feels as if she’s left doing everything and carrying the whole marriage. All their “Duties” and “responsibilities” she feels are placed on her shoulders alone. Yet Stolas, being the “”man”” is more credited to them.
And because it was clear from the get-go that Stolas was gonna embarrass himself, in her eyes, hence embarrassing HER, again in her mind, and not fight back when she rebukes him ? Naturally she began to abuse him without mercy. She is a bully, sure, but her anger is coming from a deeper place then just an enjoyment of bullying.
So, yes, she takes vicious pleasure in tormenting him. She thinks he deserves it and due to Stolas not fighting back throughout their whole marriage she thinks she's right in what she's doing. She has no respect for him. Part of her WOULD HAVE LIKED HIM to stand up to her. She thinks maybe she could have RESPECTED him then. But the bigger part doesn’t think he has the right and now that she's actually experiencing some type of rebellion and resistance from him she's utterly incensed by it because HOW DARE HE. Particularly over an IMP ?
She was getting pleasure out of exerting control over him, yes, it was pretty much the only pleasure she could derive out of the whole marriage. The entire point of throwing a “not divorced” party is to flaunt this. She did nothing but insult, humiliate and berate him in front of their friends / family and it amused her ( and apparently them ) to no end that he just took that. Every not divorced party was a big joke about how much she could fuck with him and how stupid and pathetic he was for taking it. In many ways she was CHALLANGING him to do something. To stand up for himself. To take the reigns like she felt he should. But no, this didn’t happen. At least not until the most inappropriate time.
Like I said part of her would have LOVED him to stand up to her. It would be ugly, so ugly, because even if he did she wouldn’t take it laying down, but she believes she could have respected him if he did. That at least if he wasn’t going to step up and “wear the pants” she so hoped he would end it because she would LOVE to get out of the marriage and that's what she was always hoping for but Stolas just did not have the BALLS to end it for her and save her pride. In her mind if he was gonna leave he should have stepped up and did it years ago.
But now that he IS standing up to her ? Now that he IS leaving her ? No. The circumstances are totally wrong. Its selfish, its humiliating. She doesn’t love him, she doesn’t feel cheated on, but he's doing this all over some imp dick. He couldn’t do it FOR HER, as twisted as that seems. She made no secret of disliking him, of how angry and miserable she was, but he stayed around ! He kept her trapped.
She doesn’t seem to care that much or understand that the real reason he “stayed around” was not to insult her or lock her into a relationship she hated, it was for Octavia. Because Stella’s perspective on this is also warped due to Octavia's conception.
In the sense that she explains that Stolas couldn’t even fulfil his duty in the bedroom, the whole point of their marriage, and get her pregnant. She had to literally do it herself while he laid there and stared at the wall. This was, actually, the real moment that she decided she hated him. This moment completely defined their marriage for her. So much of her anger and hate toward him within their marriage filters back to this for her.
I do think Stella cares about her daughter, but she is self cantered as all hell and I don’t think she would fully see the beauty in Stolas idea of trying to give Octavia a good, happy childhood. No one did that for Stella. She had responsibilities. She had an unwanted marriage and the uncomfortable duties of that hanging over her head since she was like 11 which only worsened as she got older.
So there is also a small layer of jealousy for the fact that her daughter did get to have a “good” childhood and she didn't. Another fact is Stella feels jealous of Stolas’ relationship with Octavia and as a result it makes her distant with her daughter and ever more outraged at Stolas. In her mind he didn’t do anything to get the daughter he fawns over so severely and its really just another example of Stolas reaping the rewards of HER hard work.
None the less this doesn’t matter, Octavia isn’t entering her mind too much, Stolas is the focus and the POS here and he has to pay. I kinda hope that Octavia winds up being the thing that makes her realize she needs to just let it go but I don’t put too much stock in it. I’m worried it’ll go the opposite way but whatever, I can hope not as I want to portray Stella as, in spite of her bad, does love her daughter. Her feelings are just extremely complex.
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