#⭒ ˙ ˖ ✧ — ˗ˏˋ ❝ ᴜʟᴛɪᴍᴀᴛᴇ ʙʀᴇᴇᴅᴇʀ ❞ ¦ 「 Gundham 」

[not-bcring]

✧   「   @wrinkled-sheets-and-sunlight   」   ✧  - Continued from ★  

「 ☆ 」 What happened with Gundham was a one-time mistake... Overly-horny impulse that doesn't count. If one were to ask ❛ count for what? ❜ — which they never would because no one can EVER KNOW —Kazuichi would ( hypothetically ) respond with a curt ❛ everything ❜ . It doesn't count as gay. Gundham had assured him so, insisting Kazuichi's sexually would remain intact. So he merely thinks of it as... not sex but— relief. Maybe even practice, for when he finds a girl he would like to be intimate with.

Granted, Kazuichi had been the submissive one in the encounter... but some girls can be dominant! Although, not exactly what he should be looking for and if he WAS pegged, he'd have to keep that a secret too. For his masculinity's sake. But still... it's plausible. A reason he can turn to whenever his mind screams at him. Asking WHY he offered his virginity to Gundham of all people. Why he felt the urge in the first place. Frankly, it'd be easier to ignore the shame gnawing at his guts if Gundham wouldn't hang around him so much. It's a lot harder to insist their night together meant nothing when it seems to have changed shifted their dynamic.

It almost feels like Gundham is mocking him. Trying to make him feel uncomfortable. Remind him of what they did while still acting as though it never happened. Something Kaz has wanted to call the breeder out on but refrains from. Scared of what it may bring. Unsure if he's more apprehensive of angering the larger man or being proven wrong. A decision that is harder to stick to when he feels Gundham's eyes upon him while he's working. Fervently trying to ignore it, movements are clumsier than usual... Not by much. Not nearly enough to hinder the work of the Ultimate Mechanic, but glaringly obvious to Kazuichi.

Patience wearing thinner by the moment ( tightness in his chest and heat pumping through his veins that nearly makes his head hurt ) , by the time some stranger was bothering Gundham— seriously, did they not notice the breeder's obvious discomfort or did they just not CARE? —Kaz was in no mood for subtlety. However instead of being thanked ( or better yet, the situation ignored completely ) Gundham had the gall to tease taunt him for it. So can Kazuichi be blamed if his response was sort of snippy? Or if he felt the heat in his chest rise to his face in what he chooses to pretend is frustration instead of confusing discomfort.

Tensing bristling as his jumpsuit is toyed with— the echoing memory of its zipper teeth slowly clicking down playing in his mind —Kaz stumbles back a step as if burned from the indirect contact. A weak sound gets caught in his throat, attempting to be a scoff but dangerously-close to a whine. ❝ Why are you here? ❞ Deflecting the question with another, pink hues warily study Gundham like a cornered animal. Lightly fidgeting in place, he toys with the sleeves the other had touched. Grease-stained hands twisting the garish yellow as he spats out against his will, ❝ I fixed your car like- hours ago... What are you still doing here? ❞

Besides watching him like a hawk... Swallowing thickly, he abruptly becomes VERY aware of the feeling of filth on his face. Too far away from any rags he could use, he takes off his beanie and haphazardly wipes at the stains. All he succeeds in doing is smudging the mark and then remembering his shitty hair. Cheeks blossoming a pink to match the messily-cut locks— sticking out at odd angles in a thick and unruly display —he hastily covers them back up, tugging down the garment and not letting go. ❝ If you're just here to— I dunno, laugh at me or something- then... ❞

Then what? Just leave? As if Kaz could enforce that demand... Growling under his breath, gaze averts as he manages to feel even more pathetic. Sweaty and gross and stained by work ( the manual labor of a glorified handyman ) and— ❝ I get it. I'm a mess. I'm a big fucking mess and it's probably soooooo hilarious and you're probably having so much fun watching me do my stupid pointless job— ❞ It's not like being the ❛ Ultimate Breeder ❜ . He's not saving endangered species or taming wild beasts. His work could be tended to by anyone with a decent amount of know-how... At least, that's what Kaz has always told himself. What he can't help but convey to Gundham, words tumbling out in a self-depreciating spiral.

Blinking back tears built up from a week of bottled-up confusion frustration, shoulders hunch and beanie is tugged down as if a shield against being seen as he bitterly spats through a breaking voice, ❝ So sorry we can't ALL be Gundham fucking Tanaka. ❞ Someone important and self-assured and cool and manly and... and with a million better things he could be doing. Places he could be. People he could be with. So why— Why is Gundham here? Why won't Gundham just leave him alone. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

"Kokichi; holder of my heart, tamer of darkness, melter of the dreaded ice; did you perhaps borrow one of my sweaters recently? This one, to be percise?" Ducked behind his scarf, Gundham pulled at the front of a black hoodie worn under his usual coat with his bandaged hand before letting the fabric go in a slow deflate as it reconfirmed to its typical baggy state. "And did you perhaps partake in a bit of mischief while wearing it? Such as the theft of someone's keys? Motorcycle keys, to be more exact?" Where was he going with this- //once again kokichi gets to face the consequences of his own actions uwu -  ✩   「 @the-ultimate-muses 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」 Kokichi is a notorious thief— allegedly notorious, since he’s never actually admitted to his crimes when cornered about them. Unless comedy required it, but even then he’s prone to flaunting his ill-gained trinket while still neglecting to outright say he ❛ stole ❜ it. Having spewed COUNTLESS confessions about fantastical heists that may-or-may-not have happened, people are more inclined to believe in what goes unsaid when it comes to the little troublemaker. So it’s not strange when he’s questioned about some missing keys… What is surprising is GUNDHAM being the one to mention it. Normally his boyfriends don’t so much as bat an eye to low-stakes shenanigans that don’t concern them.

Interest piqued with a near-missable tension in his shoulders, Kokichi buries the split-second of confusion by donning one of his best neutral masks. Perfect when either having some fun or putting up an instinctive barrier, Kokichi figures its vague purposes will help him stay ahead of whichever direction this conversation goes. Buttered up by sweet nicknames, a round-about method of inquiry, no discernible aggravation in his tone or body language…

Gundham doesn’t seem upset with him.

Then why does Kokichi’s stomach feel sour?

❝ No. ❞ He bluntly chimes, covering all of Gundham’s questions with a blanket denial. However, despite his dry response, gaze is still focused upon his boyfriend. Widened, curious eyes silently urging Gundham to continue even if he’s being vocally dismissive. That taut ❛ no ❜ may as well be a yes as far as Kokichi is concerned and he feels confident that Gundham knows as much. They’re usually good at reading one another. No matter how difficult the two seem determined to make it be at times. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

Though not as intense as their old fights, Kazuichi and Gundham were in the midst of a spat when Kokichi entered their room, the  mechanic near tearing the place apart while Gundham sat with his head in his hands at the desk, desperately trying to read despite the commotion. Reaching a breaking point, the book was slammed shut just as the door opened, Kaz now riffling through the drawer of the nightstand while the breeder complained. "Will you please cease your destruction? You are not going to find them, he would not be foolish enough to hide them here!" He was talking about their cigarettes, of course, the little leader managing to snuff out every single pack and stray smoke for weeks now. They both knew why he was doing it, and they both knew they never should have started in the first place, their reasonings differing but still so very similar, but it was still aggravating when in the near full thrall of withdrawals.

"Okay, but what if he didn't? What if he hid them in the most obvious place because he knew we wouldn't think they'd be there!" With shaky hands and tone bordering on a man trying to work out a conspiracy, Kaz had an...odd look in his eyes, a mixture of a headache mixed with lack of sleep as he moved to another drawer.

"That is foolish, Kazuichi." Spoken in a deadpanned tone, it was getting harder to hide the nerves buzzing just underneath Gundham's' skin. If this didn't stop, he was liable to-

Eyes darting to the door as Kokichi came into view, Gundham let out a sigh as if to will the anger out of his body. This was good for them, as difficult as it was to work through. "I need a coffee. My little trickster, if you could please keep the other half of our hearts from destroying our room, that would be most appreciated." He spoke as he rose, leaning to down press a kiss to Kokichi's forehead before pausing where his hand lingered on the leader's cheek. "...See if you can calm him as well. Sleep would be ideal, but a simple respite will suffice for the time being." The words were hushed, Gundham's eyes darting over to where Kaz had wedged himself under the bed in an attempt to search for what had been no doubt tossed shortly after they were taken.

With one last peck to the head, Gundham left the room, the door being closed quietly behind him as to not worsen his headache. He would be back, the Devas on the desk told as much, the little creatures watching Kaz dig about with concern amusement. It...didn't even seem like Kazuichi had realized Kokichi had even come in as he tossed a stray shoe out from under the bed where he lay half underneath, a serious of unintelligible words being muttered as he wiggled in further.

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   So far, things haven’t exploded in some monumental way. Withdrawals aren’t nearly as scary troublesome as Kokichi feared expected they might be; more like a constant itch— always there but manageable —rather than the sensation of peeling ones skin off, like he’d pondered. In trying to mentally prepare for the worst, Kokichi might have only succeeded in exacerbating his nerves. Yet he still waits outside the door for a moment longer than he’d like, hand hovering as he hears the muffled commotion inside. A slight tremor in his fingers before he steadies them by finally holding onto the knob, as if to force himself to accept that he’d have to let go in order to run away.

No excuses. No lying to himself about needing to do something or go somewhere else… He has to make the decision to run. And that’s all there is to it.

Sucking in a soft breath, he opens the door… Slowly, easing his way into the room in a manner ill-befitting the Supreme Leader of Evil, slave to and fearful of no one. Gaze studying the disorderly area, it’s what he expected thanks to his earlier hesitance eavesdropping. Kazuichi on a conspiracy-driven hunt for his elusive and non-existent smokes. Gundham desperately needing to leave the demolished room. Emboldened by being able to see what’s happening, Kokichi steps into the room without issue, shuffling his bag off his shoulder so it can get added to the mess.

Attention switching from Kazuichi to Gundham, he closes his eyes when a kiss is pressed on his forehead, a small smile on his face as he softly exhales with the affection. Tense body relaxing, Kokichi leans into Gundham’s palm and blinks open his eyes, taking the breeder’s brief glance at Kaz as an opportunity to openly-study him. Gratitude shining in Kokichi’s eyes for that moment, so much made better with a simple show of affection— not that Kokichi can ever let them know how much tension he’s been carrying for the past few weeks. He knows it’ll come back again. It always does.

But for this moment, he feels better… and he holds onto this moment as tightly as he can until it’s gone.

❝  Don’t worry, Icy. By the time you get back, his ass will be so relaxed, he won’t wanna even think about getting out of bed.  ❞  Kokichi reassures Gundham, an unconcerned smile on his face as soon as his boyfriend’s eyes are back on him. Overwhelming softness yet again tucked away to settle warmly in Kokichi’s chest, the little leader settles for an appreciative hum when his head is kissed to let Gunnie know his thanks. Watching the breeder leave, Kokichi silently mouths the word   ❛  Bye...  ❜  with a secret wave of his hand, the unfettered love shining on his face unknown to any but his boyfriends. 

Confident that Gundham would be back once his quest was complete, Kokichi sucks in a steadying breath before turning with a firm nod of his head. Determination knitting his brow and settling in his guts, he mentally reminds himself that failure is NOT an option; even if it’s still very-much a possibility. Gundham put faith in him, believes in HIM, and he’ll be damned if he lets him down. Lets either of them down... With that thought, he plops himself down onto his stomach and wiggles his way to join Kazuichi under the bed. 

Using the others frantic movements and the dark interior as coverage, he slips his way next to the mechanic with what seems like no detection. Waiting a few moments, ensuring that the other is engrossed in his futile search, Kokichi suddenly pipes up,  ❝  What are we lookin’ for?  ❞     「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

✩   「   @from-across-the-stars   」   ✩   -   Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」   Were Kokichi not feeling sick as a dog— in the most literal sense —he’d find the sight of the large man futilely shoving himself partway under the bed hilarious. But right now, he hardly feels like laughing. Hardly feels like doing ANYTHING… and if it didn’t seem like a far-worse fate to get professional help, he wouldn’t be moving around nearly as much as he is. When a human, it’s hardly enjoyable to be sick. But as a canine, it feels as if it somehow grew tenfold. Transforming usually takes some energy out of him but never to this extent, and his instincts never scream THIS loudly for him to obey. Not anymore, at least.

Yet all he wants is to find a dark, isolated corner to crawl into and lie down until he either dies or feels better… Whichever comes first.

Logically, he knows this isn’t an option. And if it were, it’d be a pretty stupid one. But even if the solution isn’t viable, the aches accosting his body are still very much real. An exhaustion tugging at his very bones, growing worse with each swift evasion of Gundham’s grasp. Still, dodge he does. And is determined to do until he physically CAN’T anymore. Fueled by stubbornness and desperation at this point, Kokichi only growls in response to Gundham’s warnings about Charlotte, as if to say—  ❛  I’d like to see her try.  ❜  

Actually, he wouldn’t. He’d prefer if she stay far away.

The thought of being in a vulnerable state is enough to make Kokichi’s stomach twist. Let alone being rendered practically helpless around others… Aside from Gundham and Kazuichi. Doctors and even Veterinarians simply aren’t an option for him. Lying there, strange hands touching him, prodding at him, knowing how weakened he is, how scared… Never. He’s been sick this long without needing outside help. He can keep it that way. Or, worst-case scenario, this is a perfectly good bed to die under.

Snarling at his boyfriend, sound abruptly stops before Kaz even enters the room, ears perked and eyes darting to the still-closed door. Yet small body is tensed, gaze FOCUSED... He hears him. He smells him. Still as death, accepting the split-second risk of Gundham potentially grabbing him, the breeder’s claims of what Charlotte will do falls on deaf ears. Almost. Nose twitches as the knob turns, Kaz’s scent washing over as the door creaks on its hinges. 

Now’s his chance.

Before Gundham can even get his warning out, a black and white blur darts from underneath the bed. Zipping past Gundham and Kazuichi in the time it would take to blink, Kokichi races down the hallway. Nearly making it to the end, panting from the strain on his already-fatigued body, normally-nimble paws suddenly start to scramble. Losing his footing, he lets out a startled yelp before tumbling into a heap on the floor. Lying there, breathing heavily, body trembles as he attempts to stand before falling flat once more. Whimpering with a pitiful sneeze, sullen gaze is focused on the end of the hall... He’s so close. He just needs to get up and he can find a hiding place. There isn’t a single one he hasn’t discovered in his mischief. Gundham would never be able to find him. Or at the very least, it would take a while.

But he’s just so tired... and his body refuses to move.   「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

✩     「   @from-across-the-stars​   」    ✩   -   Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」   Nagito… is not fond of hospitals.

It’s a mundane sentiment; most people are not fond of them. But there’s a clear sourness within Nagito’s gut whenever he’s forced to step into one, stemming from conditions far more severe than commonplace unease. Ironically, his reluctance to come when not deemed necessary usually lands him within its sterile depths for extended periods of time. Confined to a familiar hospital bed, tucked away in a private room reserved for the frequent and wealthy visitor, Nagito silently laments the decisions that had brought him back here… and so soon after his recent checkup.

Illness really is a remarkably fast-moving threat when it comes to his fragile immune system. Certain what he was experiencing was a simple cold that would pass in due time, Nagito hadn’t expected to collapse right outside his room. As luck would have it, Mikan had been passing by. Able to get help even amongst her panic, Nagito had been spirited away to the place he hates most. A necessary evil that he’ll have to thank her for once he’s back on his feet. But for now, confined to a bed with much-needed fluids pumped into him and beeping machines monitoring his vitals, that shall have to wait. Thanking and sending away the two men at his side should be far simpler a task… It should be.

But from the moment Kazuichi and Gundham rushed into the room, as if Hellfire was licking at their heels, Nagito knew it would be an even bigger headache than the beeping of the machines around him. The two men look like they sprinted straight from whatever tasks they’d been engaged in when getting the news.

The steady noise of the monitors is already grating on Nagito’s ears, the lucky boy never able to fully tune it out no matter how much he’s been exposed to it. Wondering if it’s as splitting a pain for the others or that’s just his exhausted body making things more difficult, Nagito quietly studies the men beside him. Mainly Gundham, gaze now riveted upon the papers within the breeder’s grasp. Grey hues sharp, hands grab his blankets with enough force to turn already-pale knuckles white, trembling ever-so-slightly as he practically tries to will the breeder closer with wishful thinking alone. Intelligent as Gundham may be, Nagito prays that the breeder doesn’t comprehend the damning evidence in his grasp.

Gundham may tend to the medical needs of animals, but surely Nagito’s vast and varied history— doctors keeping extensive records on hand of ailments ( both physical and mental per request of Hope’s Peak ) , risks, medications, and whatnot —will go over his head. If that’s the case, then it’d be up to the others memory to cling to the overly-complex terms for later use. Although frankly, there are only two that concern Nagito at the moment. One still slowly dragging him to an untimely end while the other lies dormant, Nagito having overcome it twice already… Not that it matters if it returns, since his fate is already set.

At least it’s clear that Kazuichi is clueless to his condition.

About as clueless as BOTH men are to the slip of Gundham’s tongue, Nagito’s chest heavy with the unfortunate sincerity he heard within it… If it were anyone else other than them, he would easily explain what’s wrong with him. Knowing that it wouldn’t matter. That, morbid a truth as it is, they might find relief in it. Or at the very least, an apathy that Nagito is accustomed to. But he can’t say it to either of them. Not now. Not after that.

Smoothly snatching taking the papers from Kazuichi’s hand, feeling far more comfortable with them in his grasp face down on the blanket where they can no longer be studied, Nagito replies in an equally-smooth tone. ❝ Currently, I’m overcoming a virus that caused me to collapse… But you two should have nothing to worry about. My body’s reaction was more- severe than normal. ❞ Purposely steering the conversation to the present instead of fully answering Kazuichi’s question, Nagito’s disinterested gaze follows one of the thin tubes stuck into his vein, fluids carefully flowing in to help him regain his strength.

❝ My immune system is garage. Befitting the worthless trash it belongs to… ❞ Comment is made with little care to how it’d be taken, it making far more sense to Nagito than anything else so far. Sighing, as if bored of the entire event, he shrugs and explains, ❝ Once I’ve been pumped full of fluids and had a few standard tests done, it shouldn’t be long before I’m released… if I’m lucky. ❞ Grimacing, irritation breaks through his calm composure, tone holding a bit more bite as he picks at his blanket, ❝ If I’m unlucky, I may have to stay for a couple days while they run more extensive tests. As if that’s necessary. ❞

Looking as if he’s simply annoyed at the prospect of the hospital staff wasting his time, there’s no denying the faint quiver in Nagito’s hands, grip on the papers tightening ever-so-slight with a faint crinkle. He doesn’t want to be here any longer than necessary… and certainly not alone. ❝ Either way, neither of you need to waste your time here. ❞ And there’s that unconcerned smile. Empty but persistent, practiced time and time again as Nagito reassures others who matter far more than himself. ❝ This isn’t anything out of the ordinary for me. Frankly, aside from having company this time, it’s rather routine. ❞

Nagito forces his hands to stop shaking.

It’s time for Gundham and Kazuichi to leave.

They have better things to do.

❝ No need to concern yourself with a burden like me. ❞ 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

Nothing was really out of the ordinary when Kazuichi would walk into the classroom; Hiyoko was bullying Mikan, Akane was doing pushups with Ibuki seated on her back while her and Nekomaru cheered, Sonia was nose deep in her latest novel, and Gundham was feeding seeds to his Devas, the breeder watching his beloved pets with a small smile as he reached a hand into his-

No, not his, Kazuichi's sweatshirt, his usual coat thrown over it in an effort to protect himself from the cold that they all suddenly found themselves in. It was deceptive, being black in color in all but the print, but it was undeniably the mechanic's with the garish coloration of the design across the torso.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, Gundham perked up when he caught Kazuichi from the corner of his eye, a smile coming over his face that very few would have the privilege of being on the receiving end of. "Ah, there you are." It's said warmly as the phone was put back into his pocket, the breeder clearly having been about to text his boyfriend. "I apologize for leaving before you were to awake, there were beasts in need of my care that could not have waited until later."

One couldn't help but wonder if Kazuichi found it odd how easily Gundham slipped into the role of boyfriend, though one could argue they had been dating long before the official title. Pet names and smiles came more readily now, even under the watch of others, and though a bit embarrassed by public displays of affection, Gundham was always willing to hold Kaz's hand, or give a kiss in passing. Those acts were fleeting though, a blink and they were gone, yet here the breeder was in Kazuichi's clothes for all to see. "Did you sleep well, love?"

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Ever since admitting his shame to Fuyuhiko, he hasn’t been able to get it out of his mind. What was once a hidden fear now screaming loudly, drowning Kazuichi in a cacophony of guilt that had kept him up late into the night. Nestled against his boyfriend, secure in Gundham’s embrace yet mind still racing behind shut eyelids and deceptively-even breathing. Lamenting the loss of his ignorance, Kaz wonders for the millionth time why his emotions must be so messy. Why can’t he ever understand without realization having to smash into him like a hammer? Shattering his skull with a splitting headache, stress making Kaz down a couple aspirin that morning to try and counteract the throbbing in his temple.

Exhausted, he had stumbled his way to class, rubbing his face and emitting a heavy sigh before opening the door. Back straightening with a silent prayer to hide his bedraggled state, Kaz had only hoped to get through the day without any surprises. A boring, mind-numbingly-so, class would be a gift of good fortune he knows he doesn’t deserve. But every fiber in his being hoped for such anyway. If only to make up for the Hell that awaited him afterward as he navigates what to do about his reservations. Gundham is going to hate him for it. Kaz just knows it.

❛  Fuck… ❜  Is all he can think, the curse summing up his feelings rather eloquently. Gaze downcast in thought and steps hurried, Kaz doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary until Gundham’s voice cuts through his whirlwind of thoughts. Oddly, considering the breeder is the source of his panic, it sends a burst of warmth throughout Kazuichi’s chest. A slow, soothing spread of comfort, raising Kaz’s eyes with an eagerness to see Gundham’s face. To see that smile Kaz has grown dependent on, never failing to make him marvel at how he used to be afraid of the man capable of it. Returned smile is small but sincere, the gratitude behind Kazuichi’s eyes more damning than anything the breeder could do.

Unfortunately, Kaz is unaware of how telling his own expressions have never failed to be. Gaze flitting down to Gundham’s hand when it returns the phone, what his boyfriend is wearing suddenly strikes Kazuichi like a punch to the gut. Stiffening with a sharp intake of breath, Kaz nearly misses Gundham’s apology.  ❝  O-Oh! It’s no problem! I uh— I didn’t mind.  ❞  He hastily replies, fumbling to sit down at the desk beside Gundham’s. Nearly knocking over the chair, frazzled demeanor only grows worse as he scrambles to catch it with a choked-back yelp. Quickly sitting down, Kaz sets his backpack upon the desk with a thud that’s far louder than he wishes it was, knowing that he’s likely drawing far more attention to himself than anything Gundham had done. But he can’t help it, panic taking hold and making movements clumsy.

❛  Way to go dumbass… ❜  Rummaging through his bag in a bluff to make it seem like he’s busy and doesn’t feel eyes boring into him from all directions— ones that may exist only in his mind, Kaz too frightened to risk looking at what his classmates are doing —stomach sinks at the small lie he had told. He hadn’t minded, of course! Gundham’s animals are important and there’s no rule that they have to wake up together. No, what settles heavily in Kazuichi’s stomach is the brief bout of confusion that had hit when he first opened his eyes. Reaching out and feeling nothing beside him had been… strange. He’s no longer accustomed to waking up alone. To falling asleep alone. Gundham lying beside him has become his new normal. That shouldn’t be a scary thought. Yet Kaz can’t help but wonder how much it would hurt if he had to get used to waking up alone again.

Which is a terrifying thought.

Being alone… is terrifying again.

As is how effortlessly Gundham calls him love at the risk of everyone hearing, Kazuichi’s face burning with an intensity that nearly makes him dizzy. He wants to hug Gundham. How is Gundham so comfortable with this? He wants to kiss Gundham. With letting people know that he’s dating someone like Kazuichi? Why can’t he just go to Gundham? Isn’t he ashamed? Isn’t he worried about— No. He’s not. Gundham loves him. He loves him. He loves him, he loves him, he loves him. Breath quickening against Kaz’s will, he can’t bring himself to look at Gundham. Can’t bring himself to look at anything but the dark abyss of his backpack. Thoughts are too loud. It hurts too much to breathe. To exist. It’s loud and confusing and frightening and it’s HIS fault. He’s getting worked up, like he always does. He just needs to calm down. 

Just calm the fuck down.

Stop being a bitch and get a grip.

❝  Y-Yeah, I slept alright…  ❞  Voice cracks but it’s the best Kaz can do, shoulders hunching as he slumps forward in his seat, as if trying to disappear from sight. Fuck his hands are trembling. Abruptly shoving them into his backpack, as if that’s less conspicuous than their clear tremor, Kaz clears his throat and awkwardly adds,  ❝  I’m just- feelin’ a little off today. It’s not really a big deal… Probably something stupid like a cold or whatever.  ❞  Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Grimacing at his failure to act composed, or even just partially alright, Kazuichi wonders what the chances are of Gundham letting his strange behavior go unchallenged… Maybe if Kaz is lucky, the earth will split open under his desk and he’ll fall into a bottomless pit. Far stranger things have happened… After all, Kaz does have a boyfriend. For now.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

✩   「   @from-across-the-stars​​   」   ✩   -   Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」   Bracing himself for a blow, breath is abruptly knocked from him… but not in the way he expected. Glare shattered into confusion at the sudden interruption— the leader of the group crying out in pain as something heavy hits him square in the back —it’s soon replaced with utter horror. Unable to hide the distress that paints his already pale face a ghostly-shade, wide eyes take in a scenario he wished to only witness in nightmares. Silhouetted against the moonlight that dares stream into the darkened alley, as if fate is shining a spotlight down upon the scene Kokichi has caused, stands two of the LAST people he wants around right now.

The fucking idiots…

Before he can say as much, chaos has already erupted. Unceremoniously dropped to the ground, Kokichi watches his should-be captor rush into the fray. Foolishly believing in his chances against the newcomers, the brute is quickly proven wrong. Struggling to stand, knees weak from more than just fatigue, Kokichi can’t feel any air entering his lungs. Sounds muffled, as if his head was being forced underwater, Kokichi’s heart is the only thing he can clearly feel. Each beat sharp in his chest, like a nail being driven further in. A thunderous, racing roar of retribution, screaming to Kokichi that he’s still alive. And look what good it’s causing.

Trembling like a dog left out in the rain, he rests against the wall, broken blemishes digging into his back as a constant reminder of where he is. Most might not need it, but it’s the only thing keeping Kokichi clinging to reality as long as he has. Pained screams around him echoing with those of the past, vision flickering between the fight and horrifically vivid images of a warehouse, dark and damp and dripping with blood… A figure tied in a chair beside him. Slumped over and silent. But he hadn’t always been. No, he had been talking. Smiling. Reassuring Kitaro Kokichi that it would be okay. The walls had felt like they shook that night. Weakening from the wailing they fought to keep held within. Begging, crying, SCREAMING for them to stop.

He hadn’t pleaded once… but Kokichi had.

Until his throat was raw.

Kokichi doesn’t realize tears are silently sliding down his face until a flash of pink eyes are aimed at him. Shell-shocked gaze snapping back to the present with dizzying speed, Kokichi is only able to utter a frantic,  ❝  Shit.  ❞  when Kazuichi is grabbed thanks to the lapse in judgement. Thanks to him. Pushing himself away from the wall, he falls forward onto his knees, hissing as they are freshly bloodied. Looking back into the fray, stomach sinks at the sound Kazuichi makes as he hits the ground in tandem, unable to find any relief at the mechanic standing once again. All that means is he’s back in the fight…

❛  No. No, no, no, no, NO-  ❜  Scrambling to his feet, chest heaving and head swimming, he tries to gather his distorted thoughts.  ❛  Think. Fucking think. You BETTER fucking think of something right NOW.  ❜  Silently screaming at himself, head hastily surveys the scene. Just in time to see Gundham return a hit that had him reeling to the ground, Kokichi’s chest burning with a sickening fury amongst the fear. He needs to stop this. He WILL stop this. There has to be a way to, and quickly… Forced to trust that Kazuichi and Gundham can handle things for the time being ( they may have gotten hurt, but they are far from helpless.. especially when working together ) he turns his attention towards the leader of the group. Sticking to the outskirts, as expected of the obviously overwhelmed guy.

Kokichi had pegged him as a coward, only ever striking when someone else was holding the little leader down. Now with two larger threats in the mix, he seems to be leaving it to his lackeys. Back pressed against the wall, the man keeps his distance as much as possible. Easing his way around the scuffle so that he can have a clearer escape route if need be. Despite his clear precautions, it’s obvious that he’s too prideful to leave while his group still has a chance. None of his followers seem eager to be labeled the true coward amongst them, everyone fighting senselessly like cornered animals. But Kokichi has no doubt that all it’ll take for them to fall apart is an opening. An excuse to flee without appearing too quick to.

… Cut off the head of the snake, and the body will die.

With attention diverted to the chaotic fight, Kokichi makes his way towards the opposing leader on quiet feet. Limping thanks to his injuries, demeanor doesn’t give away the pain he’s in. Face is still as stone, a deceptive carving of calm and calculated hatred. Internally, Kokichi is anything but composed. A turbulent storm, having killed his target a dozen times in his mind as he silently slips his weapon from its hidden place in his clothes. A butterfly knife, which isn’t the best for combat but serves its purpose perfectly fine. Thumb absentmindedly rubs the handle, surface smooth in an unwavering grip. Eyes sharp as his blade, small body is low to the ground, like a predator stalking its prey. Foolishly oblivious to his surroundings, the target doesn’t realize how close he is to potential death.

It’d be easy to kill him… It’s much harder to miss the vital points that Kokichi picks out as if they were glowing. Against every instinct he has, Kokichi rushes at his target, clinging to the larger male as he jabs the knife into their side. It’s a grisly looking wound, the scream it creates even more-so. But he’ll survive. People have made it through far worse. Fire-filled eyes focused on the blood seeping into the man’s shirt, Kokichi twists the knife before roughly yanking it out, biting his tongue to stifle his pained yelp when he’s thrown aside. Kokichi refusing to scream because of HIM.

Collapsed on the ground, knife clattering a few feet away, Kokichi shakily lifts himself up onto his forearms. Fresh blood on his face and limbs, he doesn’t even seem to notice. Expression nothing but maliciously joyful, he watches the panicked man firmly press his hands to his side. Laughter bubbles from a bloodstained grin, Kokichi spitting some out thanks to his mauled tongue, breathless but utterly delighted as it echoes through the alley. Reveling in the sight of the assailants’ leader running away as best he can, stumbling and frantic to find help. Kokichi doesn’t know if he’s made things better or worse for himself in the long run… but he does know one thing.

Either he’s given the other attackers a reason to follow, or he’s given Kazuichi and Gundham an opportunity to decisively grab the advantage. With horrified looks aimed towards the retreating back of their should-be leader and a few uneasily glancing at the still-cackling Kokichi, his ribs feeling like they’re splitting with each wheezing breath… the mood of the group has certainly been changed by this unforeseen distraction.

Kokichi has always been good at surprising people.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

"Kazuichi, could you be a dear and tell me what one does with a masterpiece?" Gundham is smug as he asks. He's up to something...

-   ✩    「    @from-across-the-stars​    」    ✩

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi doesn’t trust that tone... 

And when he turns around to face Gundham, he doesn’t trust the LOOK he sees either. Gundham is up to something. He is definitely up to something. Which is a double-edged sword when it comes to the breeder. Eyes narrowing as he studies the other, Kazuichi’s mind races to figure out what the right answer is.

Scrambling to decipher what he’s stumbled into— not even stumbled, Gundham just threw him into this random scenario —Kazuichi hasn’t even answered yet and he’s sure he’s given the wrong one.  ❝  You... look at it? Appreciate it? ❞  That’s what masterpieces are FOR, right? For people to be impressed and admire.

Hands motioning around as he grows frazzled over answering a simple, if unexpected, question, Kazuichi barks out impatiently,  ❝  Fuck, I dunno— Why the Hell do you need to know so badly, huh? ❞     「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

✧   「   @the-ultimate-muses   」   ✧  - Continued from ★  

「 ☆ 」 Kokichi prefers when Gundham is ❛ asleep ❜ .

It's what is best for everyone... Kazuichi doesn't have to listen to the incessant ramblings of the dorklord. Kokichi doesn't have to wonder where Gundham is should the breeder leave his sight for too long. Keeping track of both his boyfriends can be straining at times. But Gundham gets the most benefit. Spared what reality has become, existing through the hellish days they are submitted to without the burden of being awake for it. Reminiscent of how his mother would bumble through hers in an alcoholic stupor or slumber, aided by the drinks stolen procured by Kokichi. Even as a small child, he understood the power of escapism... and the selfishness of enabling his mother's addiction, so long as it made life easier.

No doubt it isn't GOOD for someone to spend so much time unconscious, from a medical standpoint. But pros and cons must be weighed, as well as how powerless Kokichi is to keep the other from fits of mania or mechanic-given punishment even if he dared to try. So, he opts to not complain about the bittersweet gift and accept it as he's come to with everything else... Frightening annoying as it is to have to endure the periods between monologues and Kazuichi's violent outbursts.

... It's funny. How scared he was at the start of everything. Not the world plunged into despair, but the TRUE start. When his feelings for Gundham and Kazuichi became too troublesome to deny. Terrified of being hurt, aware enough to understand it would be effortless for either of them. Physically OR emotionally... Sometimes, even after things had settled into a comfortable place, Kokichi wondered if they ever fully understood that. Realized what it felt like to be the smallest of their trio. Safe as he may have been with them, there was no escaping that reality.

Turns out he was right to be scared. It simply took a while for that to come to light. Outside forces bringing his wariness to fruition... Yelping as he's unceremoniously ripped from the grasp of sleep inching towards him, sound catches in his throat when a different hand takes hold. Soon after rejoining his partners, Kokichi had hidden his bandana. Tucked away in a secret nook he discovered late that first night, when he was confident enough the pair was asleep. Not trusting Kaz or Gunnie to refrain from targeting the precious object should their sadism demand.

So icy hand wraps around a bare neck, chilling fair skin. Goosebumps accost Kokichi as his throat bobs with a swallow, pushing into a firm STRONG palm. Cold trails down his body, chest stuttering with a discreet, shaky exhale. Lips slightly parted, air ghosts in slow... shallow breaths. Wide eyes trained upon Gundham's face, blankly staring up at darkened hues. Familiarity and uncanniness mix into one, settling in Kokichi's stomach like a rock. Strange to witness in Gundham, yet reminiscent of the man whose large hands used to pin Kokichi down. Squeezing. Strangling. Subduing. Before— or sometimes while —taking what he wanted from the boy.

Kaiyo had given him the bandana after it happened the first time. Something to veil the bruises marring his neck. To help him feel a bit more protected... False as they knew that security was and suspected it always would be.

He lies there, only faintly aware of what's being said before his mind crawls back to the present. Kokichi doesn't exactly want it to. But of course, it doesn't matter what HE wants... So, light fades back into a mismatched gaze. Brows knitting at the slight squeeze to his throat. Expression hardens, lips closed in a tight frown as Kokichi bristles like an offended animal. One who likely should be tossed into a crate and out of the way of its owners. Breathing becomes a bit heavier, the little jester now aware of how loudly his heart has been pounding in his ears. What was a dulled echo near-deafening. There's a faint whimper behind shut lips... Kokichi tensing ever-so-slightly, as if pained by something—

Before he abruptly spats blood in Gundham's face, courtesy of a bitten tongue.

There. That feels like a suitable answer. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

"Kazuichi, could you be a dear and charge my cellular device with your electrical abilities?" Asked while his eyes were trained to a pile of paperwork, the demon prince handed his phone to the bun, who was snuggled comfortably into his lap despite the various wandering eyes of passing employees at the club. //shortly after that whole kidnapping, 'oh shit I shoot lightening' fiasco 🤔 - ✧ ˖ ˙ 「 @ʜᴇʟʟꜱ-ꜰᴠʀʏ 」 ˙ ˖ ✧

「 ☆ 」 Kazuichi doesn't think he's ever been more comfortable— in this life or his past one —than he is whenever Gundham lets him rest upon his lap. Which has become whenever the bun demands, be it verbally or with a simple ❛ look ❜ shared between the two. One should never underestimate the power of pathetic eyes pleading from such a pink and plush sinner. Even with prying eyes all around, Kaz was relaxed enough to start nodding off. Fighting to keep his heavy eyelids from falling, for no reason other than childish stubbornness, he nearly misses Gundham’s request.

❝ Huh? Oh— Yeah, sure. ❞ He distractedly replies, shuffling off the looming sleep with a forceful shake of his head, ears flopping from the motion. Sucking in a steadying breath, he firmly holds Gundham’s phone in both hands. Gaze riveted on it as if the phone would try to leap away from his grasp, brows knit and nose scrunches as he attempts to recreate the accidental burst of electricity that had saved their asses a few days prior.

Albeit with not as much deadly force. Aiming for more of a helpful shock than a panicked bout of destruction, fur bristles with static as Kazuichi feels an odd but familiar tingling course through him. Hoping it doesn’t feel weird for Gundham, he focuses on trailing it toward his fingertips, figuring that he could ease it into the device. Watching as crackles of yellow dance vibrantly across pink fur, dappling across the phone… Satisfaction at handling his newfound power so well ( especially with how much he’s been avoiding practicing, fear of disappointing Gundham apparently far stronger than fear of the lightning lying dormant within him ) lasts only a brief breath before the phone abruptly starts sparking.

Yelping as the device erupts into a smoking, crackling mess, Kazuichi throws the phone across the room… Hard.

Quickly realizing what he just did, the bunny stiffens in his seat. Face cascading with a blush that somehow shows even on his bubblegum complexion, he glances at Gundham before hastily looking away. Mouth opens as it to spout an excuse or lash out with a retort to a comment not yet even MADE, jaw snapping shut with an audible click as Kazuichi's voice fails him. Cheeks reddening, shoulders hunch as he ironically presses himself further against Gundham's chest, trying to obscure his pout as he finally snaps, ❝ Don't say a fuckin' word. ❞ 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

Perhaps Gundham should have considered himself lucky that he had been "forbidden" to attend such a drab reception by his royal majesty, a sneer being the only thing on the biker's lips as he stepped into the overly gaudy ballroom, something that was no doubt being used to find Kazuichi a future bride he had no desire in taking. Had it not been for the rather...interesting visit by a few of the kings little lackeys' in an attempt to ensure the troublesome biker kept his distance, there was a chance he would have never thought to crash this little...party, in the first place. Yeah right. It was a stroke of luck that he held a resemblance to a visiting lord, or whatever that man had been, it providing an easy way into the ball with little fuss and only minor blood being spilt when that poor fellow tripped and fell in his room while getting ready, and without a soul there to help him where he now lay in the that rather dusty looking broom closet at the far end of the castle.... Tugging at the cuffs of the horribly uncomfortable dresswear that no doubt cost more than every single thing Gundham had ever owned in his short life, despite not even being half as comfortable, he took a moment to gaze about the various bodies roaming about the room, familiarity being the only thing that allowed him to locate one in particular mingling reluctantly about the masses. Squeezing his way through the crowd, ignoring anyone who may have tried to speak to him as he went, Gundham slunk his way behind Kazuichi with a gentle, and hopefully familiar hand on the small of his back as he leaned down to whisper in his ear. "What an...interesting little gathering your father puts on, my prince, I'm almost sorry for what I had to do to attended, if this is what the evening entails. Though, I'm sure the king will be all the more sorry by the nights end..." If the hand hadn't been familiar, the voice no doubt would have been, or perhaps even that smirk slowly inching its way towards the edge of the mask over the biker's eyes, it being rather convenient with how it hid the black eye he now sported thanks to those delivering the kings message that he keep away. He hoped their pay was agreeable for the job, and for what the biker had done to them in turn... "Tell me, what is it you do for fun at these sort of things? I can't imagine they're anything like the parties you know me to attended on occasion..." -  ✩   「 @the-ultimate-muses 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」 Brown hues scan the garish ballroom, the Prince feeling ironically drab in his stark white attire. Only gold trim allows some respite from the suffocating cleanness of his look, glittering resplendent in the bright lights. Feeling burned under their unrelenting beams, Kaz knows it’s all in his head. His body, already prone to running hot, even more ignited than usual thanks to the nerves eating away at him. Hand running through long, meticulously brushed ebony hair, he both thanks the ostentatious crown upon his head and curses the weight upon him.

Distracting from his choppy haircut— or at least serving as an ornately-decorated reminder to remain silent about it —Kazuichi can still feel judgment in every sideways glance at him. Having been forcibly dragged from his room with no prior warning, Kaz hadn’t any time to do much more than grab his glasses before getting ushered to the car waiting for him. While he couldn’t hide his brightly colored hair or the horrendous messiness of it, Kaz could witness his judgement without matching pink eyes. A small victory, utterly meaningless when compared to the scope of the verbal lashing he received. As well as the physical one sure to come.

But Kazuichi has learned to take whatever victories are within his tenuous grasp. No matter how small or pointless… A dangerous mentality that created his horrid appearance, but also brought fond memories the Prince knows he’ll carry for the rest of his life. However painful it may prove to be in the end.

Uncomfortably fidgeting in place, Kazuichi’s white-knuckled grip holds onto freshly-dyed hair. There hadn’t been time to do much more than that to fix his mistake. Although Kaz suspects his father never intended to. Figuring the humiliation Kazuichi would feel was worth the small blow to the King’s pride at having such an unseemly son. Discouraging Kaz from severely altering his appearance again. A gamble that appears to be paying off, Kaz uncharacteristically shrinking upon himself as he endures the party.

Feeling like anything but the Prince he’s meant to embody.

With no braid to tug, he grabs a fistful and repeatedly YANKS. Small but rapid movements, not wanting to look as if he’s trying to rip it out from the roots, but needing to expel the way his hands yearn to fiddle with something. Anything, so long as it provides ample distraction. Tongue runs along the roof of his mouth, feeling the lack of his star-shaped piercing. His father had lost his head when Kaz’s feeble apologies revealed yet another unsightly embellishment; the Prince fearful that the man would rip it out without warning. Thankful his other piercing is on too... intimate of a place to be caught, Kaz’s cheeks flush as his knotted stomach bubbles in shame.

Wide-eyes staring down at the floor, hands grow still save for their slight trembling, Kaz now gripping his hair with both. Abruptly aware of every breath in the room, every fabricated whisper drilling into his mind, he wonders how deep into the night his punishment has already gone. Knowing he'll have to endure until the party has reached its end, he shuts his eyes for a moment of respite amongst the unending hours still stretching ahead. Without warning, a hand rests on the small of his back, Kazuichi barely able to choke back an unseemly yelp. Spine straightening with a sharp catch of breath, tense posture slowly eases with an amused and disbelieving exhale when Gundham reveals himself. Lightly laughing under his breath, the biker's presence brings the weak mirth more than his tease.

Kazuichi has no idea how Gundham even found out about the gathering, let alone snuck into attendance, but his company sends a wave of reassurance over Kazuichi. An illogical, soon-to-be-short-lived, wonderful wave... ❝ Pfft— I'd hardly call this stuffy affair a ❛ party. ❜ ❞ He teases in turn, Gundham's breath sending a delighted shudder down his spine. Glancing over his shoulder at the disguised biker, Kazuichi subconsciously shifts a bit closer, his every movement not as carefully monitored as it normally would be, ❝ For one thing, I doubt the cops are going to have to be called... ❞ He adds with a playful nudge, snickering at his own joke—

—before his gaze briefly catches that of a nobleman.

Tensing as their eyes meet, Kazuichi picks up on the slight raise of a brow; the shift of the other's nose, faint wrinkles of disdain feeling as damning as pointing fingers and jeering crowds. It may as well be. One wrong move, one questioning guest, one suspected act of disobedience— especially after the disappointment Kazuichi had caused —and he could lose everything. His father had already suggested that Hope's Peak might have been too daunting of a place for Kazuichi. He's so ❛ weak-willed ❜ after all; prone to... bad influences. Kaz can't let him know how true that is.

It's barely a moment, but it's all Kazuichi needs to make up his mind. Hastily moving away from Gundham as if burned, he takes a step to the side. Tearing Gundham's hand from his back and his voice from his ears, with the SUDDEN motion, Kazuichi pointedly doesn't look at the biker. Back straight, gaze averted, stone-still as if scared of making the slightest disruption. ❝ Ahem— ❞ Clearing his throat, tense words are impressively composed considering the trembling of his clenched hands at his sides, ❝ My apologies, but I have other guests to greet... I'll— ❞ Swallowing, he can only manage a brief glance at Gundham, guilt-riddled gaze re-focusing on a far-off wall, ❝ I'll see you later. When... this is all over. ❞

When he's played his part... met his bride.... and, hopefully, been allowed to return home to Hope's Peak. But if there's going to be a CHANCE of that happening, Kazuichi needs to be on his best behavior. Which means not appearing too friendly with a male guest. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

"Kokichi-" Name sounding somewhat foreign from the overlords lips, he was frazzled, near manic in his movements from the very moment the little leader walked through the door. "My mother, how did she fair when you left her? Was she well?" A bitter laugh, his phone being tossed to the bed as he ran a shaky hand through his hair and mussed it from its usual perfect coif. "What a fool question, of course she is not well. She- She would not have gone otherwise." He wasn't making much sense as he started to pace about the room, his phone being picked up, checked for a moment, and then tossed back to the bed only for the cycle to repeat a moment later. "She said not to worry, that there was no need to be with her, but she would not have gone if she was well." Scooping up the phone one last time and shoving it in his pocket, Gundham struggled for a moment with his near violent shaking as he frantically tried to put on his coat and then scarf, making it halfway to the door before realizing he wasn't wearing his boots. "I...I need to see her, you and Kazuichi will fair without me, yes? The devas, I will leave them with you as well, I do not wish for them to see her in such a state." He says that, but he didn't seem to notice the hamsters already making their way into his scarf, the little creatures knowing that the breeder needed their support now more than ever. Breaking through the panic was a sudden flash of anger, Gundham throwing a boot across the room to bounce off the desk chair when he failed again and again to zip it up. "Blasted thing! I do not have the time!" With the state he was in, it was very clear that he should not be driving, and most definitely shouldn't be alone... //i Needed something with this lol kichi should call kaz to drive cause gun is....Not Okay...... -  ✩   「 @the-ultimate-muses 」   ✩

「 ☆ 」 The day had been going pretty damn good for the Little Supreme Leader and he hadn't even made the people at Hope's Peak miserable to attain it. An oddity that brightened everyone else's day too. Instead, his chaos had been diverted outward to the poor civilians and the cops in charge of keeping them in line. Kokichi Ouma and Naomi Tanaka an unstoppable force when combined, that even death seems hesitant to cross their path. As if it knows it'll only be bested by the two firecrackers.

That's how Kokichi always thought of them, anyway... When he's around Naomi, he forgets to be careful. Hesitating in the face of danger is still an uncomfortable concept for him. Knowing that his life has value, even if it's only to his boyfriends... and maybe Naomi. But that's different and she'd bounce back quickly from anything that could happen to him. She'd still have her ACTUAL son, after all. Kokichi doesn't belong to her. He's never belonged to a mom and he never will. But Naomi is still a great friend cohort. Letting Kokichi revert back to his reckless ways, just without the actual INTENT or desire to harm himself in the process.

Not that it would matter if he did want to... because they're invincible together. Naomi Tanaka keeps up with him like almost no one ever has. She's an immortal being who doesn't know what being tired even FEELS like. Which is stupid to think and deep down, Kokichi knows it's not true. But closer to the surface, more prominently felt— alongside a desire for acceptance from an authority figure who understands his need to rebel against authority —is a need for someone immortal. An untouchable being safe from his bullshit. Dependable. Constant. What a mother is supposed to be. The inner child who needs that clings to this belief hard enough for it to bleed, claws digging into every moment spent with a cruel certainty there will be more.

A certainty that is shaken as soon as he steps through the door.

Startled by Gundham's manic movements, Kokichi quickly shuts the door behind him so no one else can witness the others lack of composure. Broken as his ramblings, Gundham still manages to get the message across— more or less —Kokichi's quick wit putting the puzzle together despite the missing pieces. When one talks in riddles as often as he does, they get adept at deciphering them. Blood running cold as his active imagination paints a horrific picture, Kokichi shoves aside the inner lies, knowing their only goal is to make things more difficult for him. With how much Gundham is struggling, Kokichi can't afford to be hindered.

While Gundham struggles to get dressed, Kokichi whips out his phone and hastily texts Kazuichi. Knowing Gundham is full of shit if he thinks he can handle driving anywhere alone— he can't even handle leaving the room on his own —he lets Kaz know what's wrong, as far as Kokichi understands it. Urging him to come to the dorm ❛ quickly as possible because- ❜ Breath catching and a yelp forcibly dying in his throat ( no easy feat, but one Kokichi has mastered ) texting is interrupted by the sudden BOOM of a boot hitting the chair. A minuscule problem when compared to the scale of what is going on, but one that causes Kokichi's body to stiffen on instinct.

Heart hammering loud enough to nearly drown out Gundham's ranting thanks to the sudden rush of adrenaline, wide eyes snap to his boyfriend without Kokichi fully realizing it. Intently focused upon the screaming man, waiting for another attack threat outburst as he warily eases away a few silent steps like a frightened animal. Only aware of his instinctive retreat when he feels the scampering of small paws on his person, Kokichi's movements come to a clumsy halt. Startling at first, nearly falling over at the unexpected contact, panic fades with a hushed exhale as a small ferret effortlessly crawls around his body to settle on his shoulders.

Long body draped across the back of Kokichi's neck as if an accessory, beady eyes are riveted on Gundham with a protective intensity. Tiny claws dig into Kokichi's shoulder, small pinpricks through his clothes serving as a constant reassurance that Jester is there. Still as a statue aside from a tensing of his muscles and eyes following Gundham's every move, Jester watches so Kokichi doesn't have to.

Guilty as that concept makes him, Kokichi can't deny that it helps.

Rest of the text is sent without issue— ❛ Gundham needs you. ❜ —Kokichi able to focus. Emitting a sigh of relief and shakily pocketing his phone, he goes over to grab Gundham's discarded boot. Shifting himself so that he's fully perched on one shoulder now, Jester keeps Gundham in his sights while the little leader's back is turned. Not facing Gundham yet— he just needs a moment, that's all —Kokichi says as he stands, ❝ Pinky is on his way. ❞ Turning around, blank expression and blunt tone offers no room for argument. Crossing the room and holding out Gundham's boot, there's no sign of hesitance or fear as he says, ❝ He's going to drive us there. ❞ 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

✩ 「 @from-across-the-stars​ 」 ✩ - Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」   Sniffling abruptly silences as a scampering reaches Kokichi’s ears, the little leader tensing with a sharp intake of breath. Eyes snapping open to peer into the darkness, wary expression softens— chest’s slow and calculated movements returning to a more natural frantic pace now that there’s no need for composure —at the sight of familiar fuzzy faces, knowing that the breeder is likely not far behind. And chances are, neither is Kazuichi.

Fate is a funny thing. Despite the three being more than capable of spending time alone— Hope’s Peak often plagued by catastrophes that span the expanse of it, thanks to the three partaking in their own duties and mischief —when they need one another, truly and completely NEED, they’re seldom far apart. Kokichi would say it’s the universe offering an olive branch, if it hadn’t beaten him with that same branch far too many times. So, he chooses to view it as fate taking a sadistic satisfaction in making him guess whether it’s acting in mercy or maliciousness.

Maybe it’s the delirium from blood loss or one too many hits to the head, but he decides to view this as an act of misguided mercy.

Despite the Devas’ presence, Kokichi doesn’t make any moves to leave hiding. Reservations still rooting him in place, he can only hope that when facing Gundham, they’ll loosen their restraint rather than tighten an unforgiving grip. Disoriented by being entirely uncertain of his own actions— so many variables at play: exhaustion, emotional and physical, how Gundham may react, how Kazuichi might, the extent of Kokichi’s resolve, of his desperation —all he can do is lie there and wait for his questions to be answered. He HATES having to wait rather than rig the results.

Choking back an instinctive whimper at the click of a lock, Kokichi retreats further into his curled up state. The pain of the deep cut in his side flaring up at the action, but otherwise ignored. Head tucked as close to his chest as he can, legs pulled in and arms creating a makeshift shield, eyes squeeze shut as if that may pause time, giving him as much as he needs to prepare himself for whatever may come next. But it doesn’t. It never has. Gundham’s footsteps, sounding heavy even in their care, not ceasing their steady trek.

His voice is a surprisingly welcome break in the silence… Having to answer the breeder, is not.

❝  … It wasn’t my fault.  ❞  

Barely able to form, voice cracks in a throat tired from crying.  ❝  I didn’t try to get hurt. I wouldn’t do that. Not like this. Not anymore.  ❞  Insistent, confrontational even as his words shake, Kokichi sounds like he expects an argument. Expects Gundham and Kazuichi to dismiss his claim as just another lie. To believe that Kokichi is selfishly-destructive as ever. Not that he could be considered the safest of people. Frankly, none of them are. But it’s been a while since he’s thrown himself into a situation he had absolutely no chance of leaving unscathed. Now seeking thrills rather than punishments disguised as such, he’s notably been more careful. As careful as someone like HIM can be.

Frustration tainting his words and pricking in the corner of his eyes, glossy gaze glares from underneath the bed at heavy boots.  ❝  This wasn’t my fault!  ❞  He spats, unsure if he’s trying to convince the others or himself.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

monomono //the boyfriends demand tribute from their leader!!

-  ✩   「   @from-across-the-stars​   」   ✩ 

✩   「   Meme   」   ✩

「 ☆ 」   Kokichi honestly didn’t expect much from some dumb machine that relies on random chance... The universe tends to be fickle when it comes to whether it’s going to be interesting or not. However THIS time, well... looks like luck decided to throw Kokichi a bone.

One in the form of a gift lacking sublety in both aesthetic and purpose. 

❝  Wooooooow... It’s like the machine could stare right into your edgelord soul.  ❞  Kichi comments, smugness dripping from his tone much like the false tear dripping down the statue’s still face. Not that the message is news to Gundham. He learned long ago that ‘ demons devils ’ could have friendship. They could even have a boyfriend... or two.

Pulling on the thin string he had attached to his coin, it slips back through the slot so the little leader can use it once more and get Kazuichi his gift.

❝  Oh...  ❞  For a moment, Kokichi just stares wide-eyed at the bottle. One that promises an experience he had thought would always elude him, thanks to his visceral disdain of alcohol. But THIS promises a new experience without a breach of his self-imposed rule or tempting fate to drag him into the same addictive curse that befell his mother.

...  ❝  I want some.  ❞  He says, hugging the bottle close to his chest as if in refusal to give it to Kaz unless he agrees to share. Honestly, he’d hand it over even if the mechanic disagreed. It is HIS gift tribute, after all... Not that it stops Kokichi from pleading stubbornly looking up at his boyfriend, lip already puckered in a pout,  ❝  You have to share.  ❞     「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

Looming over his boyfriend in such a way that might be described as "casually menacing", trying his very best to fight a smile off his face, Gundham had one hand poised in his pocket as if ready to give something to his boyfriend, but what exactly remained to be seen. "Kazuichi...may I offer you my fastest dark deva in these trying times?" With a menacing pause after Kaz's name, now no longer able to fight his smile, the breeder pulled his hand from his pocket to reveal said deva, Cham-P looking to Kaz with every ounce of happiness he was capable of holding in his fuzzy little body.

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」    Today sucks. But the worst part is, it sucks in a way that feels stupid to be upset about. Kazuichi can’t pin it down to any big thing, as far as he knows. Never mind what is often nagging beneath the surface; anxiety and fears fueled by a mixture of trauma and genetics. Merely a bunch of little things that alone wouldn’t be cause for a breakdown. But together, one inconvenience after another on a day when his stomach is already feeling a bit iller than usual? It’s enough to make him feel like crying. Which is a gross over-exaggeration because, as he knows, there’s nothing to REALLY be upset about.

Doesn’t stop him from being upset though.

Unable to hide it even behind false, strained smiles and awkward excuses for why he felt like staying in the dorm instead of going out ( insisting that Gundham join their friends in his absence ) , he shouldn’t be surprised that Gundham could tell something was wrong. Yet he still is, wide eyes and messy hair meeting the breeder as Kaz sticks his head out of the pile of blankets he’d planned on spending the night hidden in.

Confused by Gundham’s demeanor, as well as him having come to the dorm instead of taking Kaz’s advice ( another thing that should have been obvious to the crestfallen mechanic ) , Kazuichi untangles himself from his blanket nest and sits upright on the bed. Quizzical and tad nervous gaze flits from Gundham’s face to his hidden hand, Kaz not realizing he was holding his breath until it’s released with a sputtered laugh at the reveal. Slightly shaky but still sincere, the sound is a welcome change of pace. Lacing his words as Kazuichi reaches out his hands to accept the offered Deva.

❝  Pfffft— Okay, there’s no way that’s true…  ❞  Kazuichi laughs, tears beading in the corner of his eyes as he feels the faint hold he had on himself starting to crumble. Unsure why, Kaz ignores the fogginess creeping into his gaze, hoping it’ll be blamed on his laughter and not the confusing tightness in his chest. A tightness that has started to wane since Gundham’s arrival. Looking at Cham-P, he gingerly pets the hamster and chuckles,  ❝  Are you really telling me this guy is the quickest one you’ve got? ��❞

It’s difficult to imagine the happy hamster moving fast at all, let alone the fastest.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

✩   「   @from-across-the-stars​   」   ✩   -   Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」   Silence speaks volumes, Kokichi resisting the urge to sit up and check to make sure that he wasn’t actually alone. That he didn’t start talking to himself in an empty room, Gundham and Kazuichi merely the manifestations of a cracked and desperate mind. Wouldn’t that be an impressive lie? Stomach sinks at the internal attempt at humor, the joke sitting heavily in it like a stone. Limbs feel like they share that heaviness, exhaustion creeping in from a source that Kokichi can’t quite place. It’s… scary. This type of tiredness. A sense of dread settling on his chest. A futility to it all. He’s been feeling that more often lately.

Ever since he screwed up massively with Kaz— chest pangs at the memory, only the faint twitch of his lip betraying the silent wince —he’s been wondering about next time. There’s bound to be one, right? An odd thought, but a persistent one. He’s gone so long without breaking down in front of anyone. His struggles kept in the shadows where they BELONG. But ever since growing closer with Gunnie and Kaz, he’s felt the cracks in his mask spiderwebbing. Walls weakening when it their company, for better or worse. Whether he wants them to or not.

How many times has he been vulnerable weak around them? How many more times will he have to go through those lapses in control? How many more times will THEY have to?

Is there really nothing he can do about it?

Do they think he’s worth the trouble?

Gundham breaks the overwhelming loudness of Kokichi’s thoughts suffocating quiet, like Kokichi figured he would. He tends to be the one wielding words during times of distress; for good reason, the breeder once again proving his prowess. Seeing Kokichi’s faults but not condemning him for them or determined to change what cannot be, but accepting what is. It’s almost unbelievable... but Kokichi forces himself to try anyway.

All while Kaz makes his way over with impressive stealth. Not that it escapes the little leader’s notice, an uncanny ability to guess the others actions— as well as an instinctive tingle in the back of his neck warning of someone approaching —helping Kokichi steady his breathing in preparation. Not wanting Kazuichi to feel how rapidly his heart is beating, as if it’s at war with his chest. Yet despite his internal distress, he doesn’t move at all. Afraid that so much as a flinch will discourage Kaz. He and Gundham treat Kokichi so carefully when it matters...

They understand HOW to... If it were anyone else, Kokichi would be terrified at their ability to tread through the minefield that is his emotional state. Part of him still is terrified, even if he refuses to admit it. But it’s a fear that’s steadily lessening... Silently, expression still focused on something far-off that the others can’t see, Kokichi lets himself be maneuvered into an embrace. Clinging to Kazuichi, arms wrap around him with a shaky, almost unnoticeable breath. As Kazuichi agrees with Gundham’s words, that hold grows a smidge tighter. A quiet, unnecessary plea for Kazuichi to stay where he is. As if he may leave without it.

Or disappear.

❝  Heh, yeah... Sometimes you dumbasses make it real hard to like you. It’s honestly impressive.  ❞  Kokichi says through a weak laugh, joke feeling wrong as soon as it tumbles from his tongue. Making his stomach feel ill, mind overthinks what normally would have been spoken in stride. With a confidence and understanding that he’s merely joking. That of course it’s a joke. How could it be anything but? A way to ease the tension and bring some normalcy back into the air, as Kokichi often views is his job to do... But right now, it only makes him tense up.  ❝  That’s a lie.  ❞  He adds with a suddenly-dry mouth, a faint tinge of disappointment in himself lacing the words.  ❝  ... You two are really easy to like.  ❞

He falls quiet after that, other thoughts left unsaid. Not that it’s not already known. Not that he hadn’t SCREAMED them at one point.  ❛  You don’t think I fucking HATE myself— ❜  Breathing grows a bit quicker, Kokichi’s brows lowering ever-so-slightly, his neutral mask beginning to slip. Swallowing discreetly, there’s no true use in hiding it anymore. He still tries. Kaz can likely feel the rapid pounding of his heart, the way he has to force air from escaping his lungs, the slight tremble in his hands...  ❝  I’m trying.  ❞

A quiet admission. A truth. Murmured into the air in the hope that it’ll be believed heard.  ❝  Even when it doesn’t seem like it— Even when... When that’s not enough.... Even if I know it’ll never be enough...  ❞  Some things are not capable of change, no matter how Kokichi struggles for it. Eyes grow glossy but don’t shed any tears, Kokichi forcing them back with blinks. Words reduced to a whimper, all he can manage is,  ❝  I’m trying.  ❞     「 ☆ 」