#﹙애인﹚ not a 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿 . . . but a 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 、 ׁ ﹙writings﹚

[clublzr]

𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐉𝐔𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍  ⸻

CHARACTERS 𓈒  ࣪   ִ  cheon juyeon ( quinn ) & the other members of luzrclb

TIMESTAMP 𓈒  ࣪   ִ  january 21, 2022 [ hiraeth era ]

W/C 𓈒  ࣪   ִ  0.9K words

WARNINGS 𓈒  ࣪   ִ  swearing, juyeon’s mental health declining,  juyeon finally opens up to the group about his family matters, and hints of suicide and death.

Cheon Ju Yeon the mood maker of Luzrclb. The happy-go-lucky member who is always smiling and brightening the moods of everyone around him. The smiles and laughs he showed were something that warmed everyone’s heart. But besides one person. Himself. He never knew when he put this front on to make it seem like everything was OK but he just did.

Sure the smile on his face made people think everything was OK with him when deep down inside him, he knew it wasn’t. It hadn’t been since 2017. Though no one knew that besides himself. None of his groupmates, the CEO, nobody. He just kept it to himself. That's what he was taught. To keep it all in. And that's what he did. Ju Yeon’s heart pounded against his chest as he exited the stage behind his members. They had just finished their 2nd stage of the week.

Everyone cheered thankful for some time off before they had to perform again the next week. Well everyone except for Ju Yeon who zoned out halfway into the conversation between his members. Blake patted the boy on his back getting his attention. “Hyung I asked do you want to go get dinner with us?” Blake asked as Ju Yeon nodded and smiled though the smile didn't reach his eyes which was something Blake noticed.

The members themselves started, noticing something was wrong with the boy during the whole car ride to the restaurant. He was quiet and didn’t say a word. Something that usually wouldn’t happen. Ju Yeon wasn't the type of person to allow silence to linger too long. He was always joking around and poking fun at his members just to lighten the mood. But here he was sitting quietly, which had the members worried. Because this wasn't the Cheon Ju Yeon everyone knew.

Though Ju Yeon didn't seem to notice everyone’s worried looks. He was too worried thinking about the phone call he had received earlier in the week from his parents. The same parents he hadn't talked to in over a few months. Because whenever he talked to them, it seemed like his mental health, and overall health in general just declined, especially since they just called to yell at him. That’s all they ever did when they spoke to him was yell. There never was a normal conversation between them. 

And there never would be one. Sihyun nudged Ju Yeon getting attention asking if he was going to eat the chicken that sat une eaten on his plate. He shook his head as Sihyun ate the chicken happily which the other members frowned at him for which made him shrug his shoulders but continue eating. No other words were said by the others who ate in silence until it was time for them to head back home. The time they got back to the dorm it was around 9 going on 10. All of the boys were tired and just wanted to sleep but they couldn't not without figuring out what was wrong with their usual happy mood maker.

Everyone gathered in the living room. They all piled up on the couch with Kaede and Charlie who opted to sit on the floor. Blake stood at the front of the room with a worried expression on his face. “Ju Yeon Hyung are you ok?” He asked worried as Ju Yeon didn't say anything. Tears welled up in the boys eyes. Angry tears. Ju Yeon felt anger and yet pain all in one. He didn’t know what to say or do other than cry. Kaede hugged the boy and patted his back as the others gave him the space he needed. Ju Yeon tears slowed as he stared at the ground in embarrassment. He hadn’t meant to cry in front of the others.

It was all just to much for him. Though none of the boys were rushing him to explain himself. He just couldn’t keep what he had been holding back all these years. Holding everything wouldn’t do him any good. “I-i got a call from my parents.” He spoke as everyone got quiet. They all knew it was personal because never once did he ever mention his family. He never talked about them when families were brought up. He just kept quiet about the whole thing. “Me and them aren’t in speaking terms. And I don’t think we will ever be. Not after everything they put me and my brother through.” His words were shaky as if he would start crying again.

The tremble in his voice let the others know that this was a lot for him to talk about. “Hyung…you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want too. We will understand.” Sihyun reassured him as he shook his head. Telling them that this is was he wanted. The boys nodded for him to continue. “They were demanding trying to force us to do and be something we didn’t want. It took a toll on me and my brother. But it hit my brother the hardest. He just couldn’t take it anymore. I blamed them for what happened to him which caused a falling out between us. And now every chance they get they belittle me. I-i-.” The tears started again as the members were quick to hug the boy. No one said anything and just let him cry.

None of them knew what it was like. They couldn’t even imagine. This would always be something Ju Yeon would often have to go through again and again. Because it would always be a burden of Ju Yeon’s.

[clublzr]

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