#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ V : PRE-MAIN : MICAH . ›

[solarisgod]

   ❛  i  think  you  and  i  have  known  each  other  in  a  few  lifetimes.  ❜

{  do you really think so?  } it is not an inquiry given to you out of skepticism, but rather warm wonder over someone can have such a thought that feels more mythical than real, a soft telling from the heart that my love can be strong enough that it can echo through time and space — even across these lifetimes and universes. i closely study @rozaveta as we wander around your village, enjoying the sweet serenity it carries. i wonder what we could be like in the previous lives. i hope they were kinder and softer, like being two happy doves or shining binary stars. i halt at a sight of lovely bee pair flying over to a neighbour's garden, buzzing contently before they rest on a plant fit for two. i recall your fondness of them and focuses on my notepad again.

i take my precious time moving my pencil on it, occasionally glancing up at you with a smile before my attention returns to the page. i blow the page to remove the charcoal bits left behind from my effort and slowly show it to you: { i like to think in one of the lifetimes, we were bees, happily making honey together while the world is full of peace that it should rightfully have. love. } near the sentimental sentence, there is an illustration of two bees ( of us ) on a flower, their little hands carrying droplets of honey. heart shapes float above them all like they are the clouds across the delicate sky. in this universe, there was only the genuine warm light that lived in it, but i think no matter what kind of an universe or lifetime that we would live in together, lizabeta...

your existence can make anywhere mean kindness and that is enough to me.

[solarisgod]

sharp gaze of still calmness lifts to meet the kind hand of a young man who micah holds infinite fondness in. often at the back of mind, as hidden deep, do they see micah interacting with him. co-conscious, the emotions and thoughts that they would sense from another, everything micah have towards leland comes down to love. an observation of the surrounding is made, the scent of blood and sweat heavy in the air, a near suffocating. they don't know how they got here with leland and the others, having to be violently brought to the unknown basement, but from the complete unfamiliarity, they could already tell micah and their friends are in danger.

❝ hold my hand, i don’t want to lose track of you. ❞

crouched beside @lifesver behind some boxes while they both make sure they're unseen by the horrors, their gaze returns to leland. in a painful mere moment, distrust flickers across their eyes. they're not used to people outside of the everlove family helping them — micah. when micah would cry out for help ( for only love ), the world closed its eyes. but seeing leland, his hand outstretched to them, courage held high and close despite the terror they're all in, phoebus thinks about micah and leland together — remember love ( it can still exist ) — before they take the golden boy's hand, trusting him completely to leave this darkness.

together.

[solarisgod]

❝ whoa, this is... this is amazing. ❞ in fondness, micah softly laughs at the stunned reaction from leland, their head lowered with cheeks pretty pink out of bashfulness, the sound of delight rarely heard from the brightest stars of usual silence. it was only meant to be a gift — a thank you for being their good friend and a good person overall. it have been a few weeks of knowing @lifesver and already, does micah find so much joy in his presence. they love bringing gifts for everyone and anyone, especially the kind that they would create with their own hands and ideas. along with leland, micah admires the canvas that hold a lovely image of their friend in question, illustrated out of pencil crayons in a half body shot while leland is surrounded with sunflowers, a deeply loved flower they can see him in. micah admire leland's warm smile, both on the canvas and in real life. they feel so lucky to be reminded that tenderness can still exist. « i'm glad you love it, » micah signs, their kind eyes gleaming in the sweetest sunlight. « i wanted to thank you for being wonderful to me and everyone. » he deserves this.

[solarisgod]

micah has drifting between reality and unreality lately . everything feels unenough and yet too much all at once , and they are unsure why is it happening ---- when will it stop . . . these emotions and thoughts , dreams and memories , they do not belong to micah , they are nothing ---- ❝ you're cold , come here ❞

soft voice gently pulls micah out of their deep attention , finding jude before them . once alone , they realize they had been trembling for a while ---- perhaps , such a concerning sight as this was what caught the attention ; an understandable belief that they do not live well with this form of weather , though they do not believe it is the coldness itself that got them disoriented . ❝ i do love the cold , ❞

micah tries to assure the other in sweet gentleness , not wanting him to further dwell on the concern for them when they hold loving tolerance for the cold ---- a winter lover they are since childhood , with their endless adoration for the snowflakes that they see as icy stars . still , they meekly come closer , curious to know what will jude offer as to provide them the warmth . they suppose they are quite exhausted enough to be unwell / appear as so to the nearest eyes . micah smiles at jude .

❝ it's a nice excuse to get hot chocolate ❞ they love hot chocolate . it's one of the greatest creations to exist . it's one of their favourite things that they want to live for ---- ❝ will we be getting 'em ? ❞ micah sounds smaller with childlike hope , like they are trying to find ease in the deep darkness , lost . while micah's focus starts to slip away from the present once more , they hold jude's hand then , part of them wondering if he will hold them just to cease the coldness . that is it / that is all . . . micah gently squeezes @theision's hand for comfort .

either his skin is colder to touch or not , micah only closes their eyes , content .

[solarisgod]

«   so much of the living is the being unknown. » after first five years of being dead and over thirteen years of truly living, there is still so much about themself that micah have to learn. understand. (LOVE— ). in them, there is infinity and infinity is burning. micah is an echo in an echo in an echo. a storm that can't be held back and a star that never stops burning at day and night, unfaltering, untranslatable. who / am / i ? micah chuckles at how deeply, painfully connected they see themself with the words of @narrated and the stars above them shine all more. «  when the world restrains you from truly living for a long time, you're bound to become unknowing. unknown, » micah states, nodding with solemness. «  i think it's okay to be unknown, though. » it is terrifying to be known. to be stripped naked and vulnerable and still be loved. (WITH ALL OF THIS BURNING YOU SEE, AM I STILL ENOUGH TO DESERVE LOVE?) micah offers lukas a gentle smile. «  if you're still here, that should be good enough. »

[solarisgod]

flowers from jess on this wednesday

since the early morning , micah has been planning and writing more pieces for their upcoming poetry book until jessie entered their study room . they had given her some money that she could go out and spend on for the day . adoniram already left home for work related ( that she doesn't know about — with both of them being private investigators in the silence and shadows . ) delight shines in micah's eyes as they are quick to welcome her back home , soft and warm . they wonder if jessie needs anything when micah is often the one who approaches to her first for anything , even just to see how she's doing . curiosity runs deep through micah when they don't see any bags with her that suggests she wanted to share what she had brought to them .

their presence glows at the flowers that jessie soon revealed from her back . micah is always open to have people stay over their and adoniram's home for as long as they wish — treat it as a sanctuary , a home that they never had . the couple would receive gifts from those who they had given them a place where they had only ever felt the endless love and embraced the infinite light . to be with the silence that is not violent enduring or the noises that bleed into sanguine memories . as adoniram can accept the gifts with a quiet gratitude , micah will always most appreciate and cherish them with every little parts of themself . to receive something from someone who deserve so much more like jessie , even , it makes them feel honored to be returned such real love .

expression softens and heartbeat slower in surprise , micah stands , takes the flowers from jessie . gently , they hold the gift close to their chest and smile . " this is so sweet , " micah whispers , touched by the kind gesture from her , " thank you so much for these . " they love the works of nature all dearly . there is something about them that makes them feel like a child at home , being far away from humanity and its unending horrors . micah have always felt this way and after over thirty years , they have yet to understand it , just as they still don't know why they have only felt like they belonged to the sky and outer space , with their endless bright stars and all other celestial bodies . hopefully , one day , micah will find these answers somewhere in the world .

for now , micah remains still with the flowers a bit more gently longer , driven with great emotions that make their visions blur , reminded that they are loved , despite everything . " lemme get a vase to put the plants in before i'll cook you a meal for lunch , hm ? " they gesture jessie to follow them . at the living room , the pair will see a siberian husky named lupus and a maine coon called leo who are sleeping together . micah chuckles joyfully at the endearing sight and enters the kitchen . when micah gets an empty vase , fill it with water and the flowers , they stand back by jessie to admire them like they are the stars . micah will be sure to get something for her in return . until then , they pull the other into a warm embrace . " thank you kindly . "

( for making them feel most at home in the most delicate way . )

[solarisgod]

The boy stares blankly at the snows gathered in his hands. He have seen how other children react to the coldness: They would make terrible sounds at it, or they would remove themselves away from the sharp existence. He wonders how can not he himself get these experience, even when he is existing in winter, rotting. He senses the snow melt, but he still feels nothing. Exists as nothing. ( Nothingatall. )

Held in the embrace of winter , they only keep giggling at the coldness while they catch the snowflakes with their gloved hands , pretending that they are bearing the stars that had fallen from the sky to find their places in the world , their new home . Though their delight dies at the sight of the quiet boy who is holding the snows , remaining terribly silent and still . They tilt their head , wondering what is he doing . They wobble across the winter ridden field , their snow pants dragging them down into the deep , yet they do not let either issues slow them . They reach to him and make a light shake on the shoulder , frowning when he doesn't react .

They don't say anything — they can't , yet their eyes , big and bright , show enough of the concern . He is so strange . Is he not cold ? Can he not feel anything ? They stare at their worn gloves for a moment and remove them, shoved into their pockets . In great gentleness , they take out the snows from his hands before they hold them , letting their delicate warmth be shared to him . They try to look at him and they giggle with a happy squeeze of his hands . They can never be sure what he is thinking or feeling in most of the times, but they do hope that from this , while they eventually take him to their special spot of the playground park —

Adoniram isn't alone anymore . Always , will he have them — Mimi , his best friend .