#𓈒 ˙ ☕ ּ 𖠗 writings

[rcvana]

BE MY MISTAKE ... KYRIE HAN ! characters. kyrie han, maya wang warnings. suggestive content, briefly sexual content, i believe that all ! word count. 0.891

Kyrie is a complicated man. Some would say he’s impossible to love. He’s dumb, he’s impulsive, and he fucks up with everyone he loves. He makes everything harder for everyone. It’s almost hilarious how he seems to never make the right choices. Almost.

Almost because his choices are those made by assholes. Ones he would classify as mistakes but they keep happening, so even his friends are left wondering if they’re really mistakes or just the fucked up way he was born. 

And he’s sure this is going to be another mistake that he’ll have to excuse around others, as he stands at the doorstep. He knocks on the door of the lofty home. It’s one of the nicest houses Kyrie’s seen up-close in Korea. The door opens up, revealing a girl of shorter stature and thick, chocolate colored hair. 

“Hey,” Maya greets, her eyes their usual sultry low. 

Kyrie leans down and places a brief kiss on her cheek. Maya steps aside, allowing Kyrie to enter. He eyes her up and down, taking in the baby pink loungewear she’s clad in. “You look good.”

“Thanks,” she smiles. 

He feels a little odd, being here. It’s not like he hasn’t been here plenty of times before, laying his feet wherever he pleases and eating up the food she cooked. But things are different now, considering the circumstances. 

The house is empty, Maya’s daughter is with Addy today. Kyrie always admired how Maya never invited anyone over that was anything more than platonic (or a man in general that wasn’t her father), when Kaia was there. She was a good mother, he knew that. It’s something that drew him to her in the first place. He likes a woman who handles her business, he always says. That knows her priorities and has them straight. 

“Are you okay?” Maya asks, taking him by surprise. “You’ve been, like, spacing out since you got here.”

“Nah, I’m good,” Kyrie envelopes her hands in his, staring down into her golden shaded eyes. “I’m more than good, ‘cause I’m here with you.”

She smiles coyly, a flush creeping across her cheeks. 

“I, uh, I have this movie that I liked and thought that you might like,” she says, squeezing his palm. 

“Let’s watch it.”

Of course, naturally, an actual watching of movies only lasted about twenty minutes before the cuddling started feeling more hot than it initially did. Because then hands started moving, and then kissing got involved, and then they succumb to the feelings of sweltering passion and the coming undone that nears rough. That’s how sex always was between Kyrie and Maya. Everything was fast and rough, and it’s not to say it doesn’t feel good. Maya was good at everything she did in the bed. She knew what she was doing. It’s just not like what he just now found out he loves. It’s not like how it is with Charmeine. 

Kyrie takes a deep breath, lying his head on the pillow. Maya follows him from underneath the thick blanket, her head crashing on his chest, which rises and falls with each hard breath. The movie is coming to its climax, just as they had done. He’s not sure what the movie was about. There’s something about dogs and people who live on a farm. It’s not anything Kyrie would pay to see. He prefers old-fashioned 90s movies or inappropriate comedies. He doesn’t know where Maya got the idea that this would be a movie he liked. 

He wraps his arm anxiously over her shoulders, his thumb rubbing the soft of her skin. He’s done a lot of fucked up shit but this has to be one of the worst. It feels like one of the worst. Guilt is a feeling that eats you from the inside out. 

“You know how good you are, right?” Kyrie randomly asks. 

Maya meekly giggles. “Where did that come from?”

“You’re so good. I don’t know how you can be so good,” he says. “You’re good at being a mom, you’re good at being a singer, you’re good at fucking,” he laughs at that last one, so does she. 

“Nobody can take that away from you,” he pulls her closer, staring up at the ceiling. 

She doesn’t say anything, listening to his words and his heartbeat together. 

“You’re so beautiful and I’m…I’m so lucky that I even got to be with someone like you,” Kyrie rambles. “I don’t even know how I got this chance.”

He got this chance because he was trying to “heal her” after getting her heart shitted on by the father of her child. She wasn’t doing her best when they first started talking. Her mind was swindled with thoughts of never finding love if she couldn’t find it with Addy. So when Kyrie came around, talking a big game, treating her like no one ever did, it felt like Kyrie was swooping in and saving her like some sort of Prince Charming-Superhero hybrid. Sometimes the second love can feel almost as bad as the first did. 

“You’re so perfect. I wish I could give you the world.” He pauses, thinking for a moment the words getting caught in his throat. “Nobody really deserves you.”

“Why does this feel like goodbye?” 

Because it is. Something he should’ve said. 

“I just wanted to tell you.”

[rosiesthehat]

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