#𝐞𝐩. i fucking killed it. ────── emma headcanon.

[crescntnight]

EMMA PERKINS RE: PAUL MATTHEWS.

buckle the fuck up.

emma meets paul 5 months after moving back to hatchetfield. she gets a job at beanie’s almost immediately, and she fucking hates brewing shitty coffee, but it’s a job. paul is a semi-regular, she meets him for the first time after she chews someone out for being an asshole over the pastry selection for the afternoon. she thinks she might’ve scared him (or worse, she’s prepared to fight again), but paul is lowkey and just wants some black coffee to go. easy enough.

he shows up more regularly after that. she remembers him because she remembers his order, and he’s a little awkward when he tries to make small talk, but she doesn’t mind. in fact, it’s refreshing, because nearly everyone else in hatchetfield is just as annoying as she remembers.

it takes her longer than she wants to admit to recognize he’s trying to flirt with her. she doesn’t really play into it at first because she just left some dude in another country who wanted to marry her, she’s not ready for anything remotely related to an adult relationship. but paul is nice, and paul is sweet, and he tips her an absurd amount every time he comes in, so she starts to humor him. he’s cute, so it’s not the worst thing in the world.

it’s only when she starts to look forward to seeing him everyday that she realizes she’s fucked. nora doesn’t really catch on, but zoey sure does. and surprisingly, she doesn’t make fun of her for it, either. she helps her play it cool (emma touts herself as a badass, but when it comes to flirting with men, she’s fucking useless), and emma finally works up the courage to write her number on the side of paul’s coffee cup. (she thinks its a really bad idea and tells zoey she’s watched too many romcoms, but zoey really insists that it’s the best thing to do. the text she gets later that evening is enough proof that she did something right.)

they start talking pretty regularly, with emma texting him while she’s at school to pass the time. he’ll text her during his work breaks, too, sometimes asking if she’s there so he can stop by. eventually, they’re just talking all the time, and emma’s actually comfortable enough to say yes immediately when paul asks her out to dinner for the first time. (he’s not what anyone would pin as her type – maybe that’s why emma finds him so fascinating to begin with.)

they go on one date. then two. then three. then they’re hanging out every weekend, on lunch breaks to share some time together, and spending the night at each other’s apartments. she doesn’t call paul her boyfriend for 5 months (despite him asking), but the level of comfort in which she feels when she’s around him is sort of unmatched to anything else. (she has no family left in hatchetfield, and paul’s the first person that’s made her feel like coming home wasn’t a mistake.)

when she does, though, she means that shit. and she surprises herself even more when they reach a year together, and emma says i love you for the first time. not just to paul, but for the first time in her life. it’s very scary and she’s very nervous but there’s something ABOUT paul matthews that makes her more open and trusting than she was even 5 years ago, and she lets herself feel that content and happiness because it’s about damn time.

she moves in with him (and patricia), and they start to build their own life together. emma’s still going to school, still planning on starting her own pot farm, and paul’s still working for ccrp. they go on vacations and they take stupid trips to ikea and they struggle with putting a fucking bookcase together, but it’s never really painstaking. emma never pictured herself as someone who would enjoy domesticity, but she does. because she’s still herself. she’s just grown up.

they get engaged. they nearly stumble into it, honestly, because emma’s sort of content with just becoming life partners without having a big ceremony or anything like that. but they’re joking around, and she pokes fun at paul, and paul insists she should marry him. and when she agrees, it’s not as life changing as she expected it to be, because it just feels GOOD.

it’s not a huge wedding, it’s pretty lowkey and emma does not plan a damn thing because she cannot be bothered. she does, however, wear jane’s dress (as gifted to her by tom), and she gets shit faced at her reception, and she sort of lets herself be happy because emma at age 27 would kick her ass if she could see her now, but current emma would do just the same.

she always equated commitment with giving up, with surrendering your sense of self, but when she first starts dating paul, she never really feels like she’s not emma perkins. she’s still feisty and driven and she wants more than anything to find her own success in whatever she chooses to do. it’s just nice to do that alongside someone who believes in her, and someone who wants the very same thing for themselves.

in conclusion: they’re soulmates your honor.

[crescntnight]

i could probably talk about these two caps for idk years tbh but lemme just fuckin tell you right now –

this woman is horrified. she thought she made it. she went through literal and personal hell, came back to hatchetfield to try and become a better person. her only goal (besides leaving again) was to avoid dying in hatchetfield, like her sister and her parents did.

and the end of the world comes, and she makes it. she fucking makes it. she loses so many people – she loses paul – but, she’s alive. and she made it.

and then paul made it, too!! a miracle. maybe she gets to enjoy something in her life before it’s taken away by death.

and then he’s SINGING. and everyone around her that wasn’t singing before starts singing, with colonel schaffer nowhere to be found ( in the og script i know she was supposed to die on stage by the hands of the nurse that mariah plays so i think she died off stage ).

and paul is there and he’s smiling and happy and holding her hand, but he’s NOT PAUL. because paul hates musicals, and paul would never fucking do this. so if he’s playing around, she insists to stop, because you’re scaring me.

and he doesn’t stop, and everyone files in around him and they all start singing in her face. they don’t really chase her, even. they let her run around ( it’s just a fucking loop?! ) and think she can leave, because they all know that she can’t. and paul, in his new alien form, is banking on the fact that she won’t be able to resist him.

and in this moment right here, with these two caps, we finally see emma perkins BREAK after all the shit she’s been through in the last 24 hours. she’s kept her cool most of the time, added snarky comments here and there during times of tension, and even managed to shoot a military general to save paul from choking to death without much of a flinch.

but this, right here? her “friends” singing about how much they want her to join the hive? with PAUL, the guy she realizes she’s totally into leading the pack? the man she let down her walls for, the man she found herself drawn to, the man who she realized too late was someone she could see herself with for once in her fucking life?

it’s devastating.

she breaks. she screams and she cries and it’s not pretty, and she truly has no escape. and she succumbs to her own personal hell – she dies in fucking hatchetfield. by the hand of someone she thought she could trust.

by the hand of something she WANTED.

[crescntnight]

things we learned about emma during nightmare time:

she pretty much always works at beanies in every timeline and always wants to start a pot farm

she has commitment issues big time, she explains to paul that she left a boyfriend back in guatemala because he wanted to marry her and it was too heavy for her, so she literally just left the country to avoid talking to him about it

she does not want to get married

she’s cheap as shit, though paul affectionally refers to her as thrifty

tom is the one who calls her and tells her about jane, which is what prompts her to come back to hatchetfield permanently

sis is kind of horny on main for paul matthews, she goes from calling him a pervert to asking him to get high and “see where things go”, she simply cannot help herself

also! an important note about how i’ll be writing emma, it should be assumed that when we are writing, you are interacting with THE REAL emma perkins. the verses exist independently of each other, but the emma i am writing is not the emma that comes from the future and is a robot. my emma will always, always default to THE REAL emma perkins (unless previously discussed).

[crescntnight]

emma perkins → tv tropes.

the ladette / tiny tyrannical girl / sir swears-a-lot / badass normal / the cynic cosmic plaything / action girl / deadpan snarker / single woman seeks good man took a level in kindness

[crescntnight]

MUSIC MEME

rules: share five songs that represent your muse! repost, don’t reblog!

track 001. short skirt / long jacket, cake

i want a girl who gets up early, i want a girl who stays up late. i want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity, who uses a machete, to cut through red tape. with fingernails that shine like justice, and a voice that is dark like tinted glass.

track 002. bad guy ( cover ), citizen queen

bruises on both my knees for you, don’t say thank you or please i do what i want when i’m wanting to. my soul? so cynical

track 003. unprodigal daughter, alanis morrisette

unprodigal daughter, and i’m heading for the west. disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough. unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last! i’d invite you, but i’m busy being unoppressed.

track 004. loser, beck

kill the headlights and put it in neutral, stock car flamin’ with a loser and the cruise control. baby’s in reno with the vitamin d, got a couple of couches, sleep on the love-seat. someone came in sayin’ i’m insane to complain about a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt. don’t believe everything that you breathe, you get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve.

track 005. once in a lifetime, the talking heads

and you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack. and you may find yourself in another part of the world. and you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile. and you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife, and you may ask yourself, “well… how did i get here?”

[crescntnight]

EMMA PERKINS RE: ROMANTIC HISTORY.

okay listen. listen here. listen to me.

emma perkins is very very bad at dating. this is a confirmed fact. she didn’t really date in junior high, and maybe had her first “serious” relationship in high school. i use that term loosely though because it really wasn’t much of anything that wasn’t making out under the bleachers and seeing movies together on the weekends. it was just something fun and something new and something that made emma her own person outside of jane’s little sister and the weird stoner girl.

when she moves to guatemala, she becomes more confident in who she can be. she spends 10 years working on herself, on who she wants, and on what she wants. she has some hook ups here and there (with men and women alike because emma perkins is a bisexual icon), but things don’t get serious until she meets CARLOS when she’s 26. they meet on a bus trip, traveling from one hostel to another, and emma’s surprised at how quickly they hit it off. he seems like her type of person – interesting, moderately nice, and a humanitarian.

they date for 3 years. emma’s very reluctant to make the big relationship steps (in fact, she never does say ‘i love you’), but it’s nice to be with someone instead of being alone. maybe that’s why she stays with him for so long (and maybe because her sister is fucking married to tom houston and she can’t keep trailing behind like this).

then he proposes, and emma can’t handle it. she doesn’t want to be married, she’s never had an interest in letting someone tie her down, and she simply panics. maybe she’s a tad bit afraid to commit, or maybe she knows that carlos isn’t someone she’s meant to be with. either way, she lets him down harshly.

the timing of jane’s death with her ending a relationship that’s taken up most of her adult life is almost laughable, and emma takes the chance to leave guatemala (and leave carlos), returning to hatchetfield to try and pick up the pieces of what she’s left behind.

[crescntnight]

EMMA PERKINS RE: INTIMACY.

i’ve been watching tgwdlm a lot and whenever emma is with paul, even though she doesn’t know him very well, she’s always HOLDING ONTO him. usually it’s her hands at his forearms, but sometimes they hold hands, sometimes she holds his face. either way, she’s kind of always touching him.

she gesticulates by nature – we see that with how often she claps and points when she talks – but when it comes to paul, she also touches him. a whack to the knee, or a nudge with her elbow. it really makes me think that emma is really only like that with people she really, really trusts and cares about.

when she was alive, she probably did the same thing with jane. kind of always like a grab at her wrist as they’re walking down the street like jane oh my god did you see that.

on the other end, if you touch her and she does not want to you, she will make it known. she will physically put distance between herself and someone if they can’t take the hint (as if her words aren’t enough).

if emma holds your hand, she trusts you, and she likes you, and she wants to keep you around. that’s a big fucking deal.

[crescntnight]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐒𝐀𝐘 ??

“I’M HURTING AND HELP IS BEYOND ME.”

there’s something going on with you mentally. you haven’t told anyone because you don’t want to drag them down with you. it kills you on the daily and you feel like you’re falling apart, however, nobody’s noticed. you feel like you should be thankful for that, but it just hurts more. you feel selfish and weak for wanting help, yet something deep and knotted beneath your diaphragm is screaming to let go of the pain and let someone else handle it for awhile.

[crescntnight]

EMMA PERKINS + HER PARENTS (AND THEIR SUBSEQUENT DEATH):

warning: spoilers for starkid’s nightmare time are below the cut. if you haven’t seen the shorts yet but are planning to, don’t read any further!!!

content warning: violence, death

watcher world was a hot new attraction that hit hatchetfield when emma was barely old enough to know what watcher world was. ( or so she was told, anyways. )

as a kid, growing up as the kid sister did a number on her. not because her sister was mean, or a bully – in fact, her big sister jane was her best friend in the world for seven years. but, her parents weren’t always quite sure how to give both children the attention they needed. especially when jane had the makings of a child prodigy, and emma was… well, she certainly knew how to get dressed in the mornings.

watcher world was a great way for a family to spend their time together! the signs all encouraged family fun, with blinky encouraging everyone to come on down and have a day worth watching! jane seemed pretty excited, but emma didn’t like the way blinky looked. a giant yellow and purple eyeball? nothing about that was fun and enticing for a kid, despite the way the jingle made her head bob.

still, she went, and they all arrived together as a happy family. as kids, they had plenty of fun, despite the strange looks from the people around them. going once, twice, even three times in one year seemed to become a family tradition, and emma started to warm up to the idea that they could be a happy family together.

when she turned 13, the trips stopped. she didn’t want to go anymore, started fraying away from her sister to become her own person. her mother was clearly worried, but her father couldn’t seem to care less. she didn’t blame him – she was his mirror image, and a lot to handle. temperamental and sarcastic to a tee, emma wanted to be emma perkins, not emma, jane’s little sister.

once she moved away, things seemed pretty cut and dry. her family didn’t really need her around, and with jane on a fast track to becoming maybe the best person in the entirety of hatchetfield, she didn’t need to be there to watch her cut the metaphorical ribbon.

she gets the invite for the perkins family reunion ( though she’s not sure how they found her in the first place, but she can never really doubt jane’s persistence.) with a motel, a picnic, and an all inclusive trip to watcher world, it’s sure to be a day worth watching for the perkins family! emma, disinterested, ignores the invite and allows herself to move on, pushing the thought from her head.

( she can’t quite drown out the voice that tells her something’s wrong, but if she drinks enough tequila, it simmers down every once in a while. )

she gets the news a month later that her parents were dead. an accident, the hatchetfield police are saying, near the witch wood. emma was always told to avoid the area, due to the dangerous wild animals that lurk inside. it sounds like the trip to watcher world went awry, and despite the fact that her parents were dead, jane somehow managed to make it out all right.

she doesn’t know the details, doesn’t know that jane left a little early to ensure that her son could take a well earned nap after a long afternoon in the sun. that jane’s leaving had her parents going into watcher world alone, where the citizens and employees of the park were waiting, eyes purple and eager to turn mother and father against each other in a pursuit of self sacrifice in how they failed their children.

or, their child.

once emma moves back to hatchetfield after jane’s death, she doesn’t read too much into the tragedy in her life. jane was in an accident, her parents were in an accidet, she was a lone perkins meant to fend for herself. she lives in downtown, she avoids the witch wood and watch world ( blinky can go fuck himself ), and she works her shitty job at beanies until she can pay off her tuition and get the fuck out of this deadbeat town.

[crescntnight]

what’s your problem?

BITTERNESS

okay, wait, let me explain. you’re not a bitter person, not by any means, but you don’t…articulate your feelings very well. you hide behind all of the walls you built and you live inside a castle. bitterness is your defence mechanism. you don’t want to be a bad person, you don’t want to make people feel bad. and honey, you don’t. we know. we know things are hard and trusting people is hard. we know you’re trying your best and you don’t need to be the nicest person in the world. you’ve just got to be true to yourself and try to be as good as you can be. and i know, sometimes, that doesn’t feel like enough. you don’t feel like you’re good. you’re not as kind and caring and lovely as some people. you’re sharp and tough sometimes. your life and your feelings aren’t all pretty and sugar sweet. that’s okay. they don’t need to be. the people in your life are there because they want to be. don’t ever think you’re a burden or that they’re only there because they feel like they have to be. they love you. and because of that, they’re in it for the long run. it’s going to be okay. you don’t need to be sugary sweet to be deserving of love.

[crescntnight]

♡   STUDY  :  EMMA PERKINS.

♡   basics.

IS YOUR MUSE TALL  /  SHORT  /  AVERAGE? emma is very small…. she is 5′1″.

ARE THEY OKAY WITH THEIR HEIGHT? she doesn’t really care. she didn’t really get bullied or harassed because she was short, so it’s not like it’s a huge issue for her. in fact, being small means she has easier access to kicking people in the kneecaps.

WHAT’S THEIR HAIR LIKE? shoulder length brown hair. mostly it’s up in a messy bun or ponytail (for work it’s required that her hair is pulled back).

DO THEY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR HAIR  /  GROOMING? she’ll really only style it if there’s something she needs to go to, like a family event or something. otherwise she’s not too concerned about what she looks like.

DOES YOUR MUSE CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE  /  WHAT OTHERS THINK? not in the least. she dresses in whatever she wants, mostly for comfort, and does not give a single shit about what other people think about her re: her appearance. she wears make up if she wants to, sometimes she doesn’t. she’s a woman of little effort and will do whatever she feels like when she wakes up.

♡   preferences.

INDOORS OR OUTDOORS?outdoors.

RAIN OR SUNSHINE? rain.

FOREST OR BEACH? forest.

PRECIOUS METALS OR GEMS? precious metals.

FLOWERS OR PERFUMES?  neither.

PERSONALITY OR APPEARANCE? personality.

BEING ALONE OR BEING IN A CROWD? alone.

ORDER OR ANARCHY?  anarchy.

PAINFUL TRUTHS OR WHITE LIES? painful truths.

SCIENCE OR MAGIC?  science.

PEACE OR CONFLICT?  conflict.

NIGHT OR DAY? night.

DUSK OR DAWN? dusk.

WARMTH OR COLD?  warmth.

MANY ACQUAINTANCES OR A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS?  a few close friends.

READING OR PLAYING A GAME? playing a game.

♡   questionnaire.  

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MUSE’S BAD HABITS? emma lacks a filter. she really just does say whatever the fuck she wants whenever the fuck she wants without thinking of the repercussions. it started as a form of acting out when she was little, but since she left her family and now they’re all dead, she doesn’t really have anyone keeping her in check. she’s also a bit of a nail biter when she’s extremely anxious.

HAS YOUR MUSE LOST ANYONE CLOSE TO THEM? HOW HAS IT AFFECTED THEM? oh boy. well, emma’s parents and older sister are all dead. we don’t know how her parents have passed (though nick confirmed it himself), and her sister died in a car crash. while the loss of her parents certainly hardened emma’s already thick skin, the loss of her sister sort of melted her down a bit. she came back to her hometown to try and become the person that her sister thought she could be, and she tries to uphold that memory to the best of her abilities.

WHAT ARE SOME FOND MEMORIES YOUR MUSE HAS? it’s hard to say. her early, early childhood was really sweet. her and jane were really close until jane was a teenager, and emma sort of holds onto that picture perfect life of a family in the suburbs to get her through whatever her life’s become in the here and now.

IS IT EASY FOR YOUR MUSE TO KILL? well. yes and no. she never actually kills anybody during the end of the world, but she’s definitely ready to. she’s just smart about how she avoids danger. if she came face to face with one of the zombies, however, and she had no other choice, she’d take matters into her own hands.

WHAT’S IT LIKE WHEN YOUR MUSE BREAKS DOWN?it’s very unexpected. she’s like a quiet storm, and when she reaches her peak, she fully loses it. for most of the show, she’s very reserved about what’s going on, choosing to instead keep a cool and level head and choosing logic and instinct over freaking out (like charlotte or bill). however, at the end of the show, when paul is lost, you can see her fully break. she’s screaming, horrified and near tears as she realizes what’s going to happen. it takes a lot to break her, but once she’s broken, it’s like opening the flood gates.

IS YOUR MUSE CAPABLE OF TRUSTING SOMEONE WITH THEIR LIFE? nope. maybe if you work hard enough to climb over her walls, or tear them down, there’s a chance. however, that chance is minimal. paul is the closest person to that level of trusting and understanding, and even then, when he becomes one of them, she feels more hurt than ever before. because of that, it’ll be hard for her to trust that deeply ever again.

WHAT’S YOUR MUSE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE? in denial. emma isn’t really the kind of person for soppy romance stories. she’s dated around, mostly spent her time with hook-ups and one night stands, but she doesn’t really choose to settle down. it’s part of her life on the go – she’s someone who can and will pack up her life into one suitcase and run away if given the chance, so having someone tying her down to any place is extremely unappealing.

[crescntnight]

── ☼ 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚜

☼  color     :    green

☼  season     :    winter

☼  holiday     :     thanksgiving (for the food)

☼  location     :     her apartment

☼  activity     :      exercise

☼  film / show     :     it’s always sunny

☼  food     :      mexican, specifically taquitos

☼  beverage     :      coffee

☼  animal     :     cats

☼  flower     :      tulips

☼  song     :     champagne supernova

[crescntnight]

know thyself ; character traits.

TENDERNESS

you are not afraid of the sufferings and sorrows of other people, even when they are acted out in unappealing ways. beneath even defensiveness and self-righteous behaviour, you know that deep down people need nurturing and consolation. one danger is being naive about people’s dark sides. but at your best you know you can be mean yourself, which helps you to sympathise. you bring strength and forgiveness where other people might panic.

NEEDINESS

being affirmed and nurtured by others is a central requirement for you to feel safe. this means you can be slow to warm up to other people, which is difficult because what you most need from them is their warmth. yet you know how to be vulnerable: to let down your defences and accept that you need another person. this lack of pretence is a valuable trait, and ultimately more endearing than the macho efforts others make to deny their childlike sides.

INDEPENDENCE

you don’t set out to be different for its own sake; you are more easily guided by what interests and moves you. you are more concerned about what is right for you than about the pressure to fit in. in sex you are more aware than others of impulses which are not entirely conventional. you know the value of selective irresponsibility, of forgetting occasionally about being ‘good’.

AGGRESSION

one part of your character is anger in all its forms: frustration, outrage – and when anger is suppressed – bitterness, grumpiness, and bodily aches. fundamentally, frustration comes from hope: you get upset because you expect your life will be more than a valley of tears. one way to deny aggression is to direct it inwards, as self-criticism. but you’re at your best when you acknowledge anger, and act it out clearly and in a focused way, with honour.

MISANTHROPY

you have seen the darker side of human nature, even in daily life. when you look beneath the surface everyone is pretty messed up; there’s more selfishness circulating that others admit. you are never surprised by the stupidity of others, even though it annoys you. your streak of misanthropy is, in fact, a requirement of remaining sane. you’ve wisely come to terms with your need to sometimes confidently reject people.

[crescntnight]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑    𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒    :    emma perkins.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟏    :    𝐓𝐇𝐄    𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄    .

name    :  emma perkins eye    colour    :   brown hair    style    /    colour    :   messy, wavy chesnut brown. usually it’s pinned up for work, or tied up atop her head. if it’s down, it’s been straightened with a flat iron and rests over one of her shoulders. she tends to keep it out of her face, though, because it’s easier, and her kinky waves tend to get in her face when she’s trying to work. height    : 5′1. clothing    style    :   comfy casual. usually she’s seen in her work uniform, which consists of a white shirt, a black ribbon neck tie, a pair of black shorts, and a green apron. outside of work, she aims for comfort more than anything, leaning towards comfortable t-shirts and tank tops with ripped shorts or jeans. her shoes are usually boots, ankle high, that have minimum height to them. she also likes big, comfy sweaters, and tends to swallow herself in them during the colder months of the year. on occasion, she’ll wear a sundress. best    physical    feature    :    if you ask her, she’ll say everything, because emma’s hot and she knows it. however, she’s rather toned for someone so fucking small. years of hiking, backpacking, rock climbing and travel have given her extraordinary muscles in her legs and arms, and during the summertime, it really does show.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟐    :    𝐓𝐇𝐄    𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄    .

fears    :    failure, rejection, death. practical fears include insects and snakes. guilty    pleasure    :   reality television, gossip, and hallmark christmas movies. biggest    pet    peeve    :   the human race (if that counts), but mostly people assuming things about her. ambitions    for    the    future    :   emma never really had lofty plans for herself – she didn’t have a plan, or any real goals or ambitions outside of leaving hatchetfield. coming back to study botany is something, but honestly she just wants to live her life unapologetically, while also atoning for the way she acted for so long. she estranged herself by choice, and now that everyone in her family is gone, she wants to make up for lost time and make them proud, even if they aren’t here to see her achieve her dreams.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟑    :    𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒    .

first    thoughts    waking    up    :    nothing too concrete, as emma is a very heavy sleeper and not really a morning person, despite the early hour shifts she tends to work at beanies. more often than not, she’ll be thinking about coffee. (or more sleep.) what    they    think    about    most    :   jane. she’s the driving force behind so many things in emma’s modern life, and without her, she’d still be attempting to disappear in south america. what    they    think    about    before    bed    :   depends on how she’s getting to bed – if she’s drunk, her mind is pretty much blank and she’ll pass out the second her head touches a pillow. if it’s just a normal night, she tends to drift off thinking about whatever happened during the day (sometimes it’s a cute customer from beanies that keeps trying to flirt with her). what    they    think    their    best    quality    is    :    her wit. she’s super quick on her feet and can easily turn a phrase in whatever conversation she’s having. it comes from the want and need to always have the upper hand, and emma’s become pretty much unstoppable at making people wide eyed in her presence.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟒    :    𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓’𝐒    𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑    ?

single    or    group    dates    : single. to    be    loved    or    respected    :   respected. beauty    or    brains    :   neither. dogs    or    cats    :   cats .

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟓    :    𝐃𝐎    𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘    …

lie       :     oh for sure. often it’s just little white lies, but she’ll lie to cover her own ass when it comes to things like being open and honest about her emotions. emma’s not very good at being forthcoming, and she’ll pretend like everything’s fine just to prevent any kind of faux therapy session. believe    in    themselves    :      not really, no. she knows she’s good at many things in life, but emma’s lowkey really insecure about the way she turned out. believe    in    love    :    yes and no. no when she first returns to hatchetfield, because she literally fled a country to avoid getting married, and her fear of committment based on the fear of anyone knowing everything about her drives her to believe that love is sort of for chumps. when she falls in love for herself, though, she realizes how wrong she was. want    someone    :       paul matthews or bust baybee.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟔    :    𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄    𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘    𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑    …

been    on    stage     :    yup! emma did theatre in high school. she entertained the idea that she could pursue it professionally, as her teachers insisted she was very good, but her parents shot the idea down immediately, and emma never performed again. done    drugs     :  lmao yeah. emma’s been smoking weed since junior high. changed    who    they    were    to    fit    in    :     nope. she was always a loner in high school because she never really fit in with anyone else, and she never really wanted to. she was content with living on the outskirts of the social pyramid, because she had all the friends she needed.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟕    :    𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒    .

favourite    colour    :     green. favourite    animal    :     emma really likes lizards. she does not like snakes, but a little gecko? hell yeah. favourite    book    :     unsure. emma doesn’t read too too much, not because she doesn’t like it, but because she doesn’t really have time for recreational reading. if she’s not studying and not working and has nothing else to do, she’ll crack open something from her childhood. favourite    game    :     emma can and will whoop your ass at connect four. it seems so silly to think about since it’s literally a game of chance that takes 5 minutes to complete, but she has so many strategies it’ll make your head explode.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟖    :    𝐀𝐆𝐄    .

day    their    next    birthday    will    be    :  february HOW    OLD    WILL    THEY    BE    :    thirty-two.

𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑    𝟎𝟎𝟗    :    𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇    𝐓𝐇𝐄    𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄    .

I    LOVE    :    paul matthews.

I    FEEL    :       tired.

I    HIDE    :       my guilt from everyone around me.

I    MISS    :    jane.

I    WISH    :      i could make her proud.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘     : yoinked from myself. 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆      :   steal it from me!!!

[crescntnight]

TYPES OF PEOPLE - WEATHER

BOLD WHAT APPLIES TO YOUR MUSE //  EMMA PERKINS

rain   -   melancholy at best , introspective , SEVERELY MISUNDERSTOOD , pleasure in the subdued , helping in your own way , dreams in poetry , THE SLOWNESS OF FALLING ASLEEP , refreshing meditation .

sun   -     sunbleached clothes , futures that are too bright , EVERYTHING AT ARM’S LENGTH , balancing intensity , blind encouragement , comfort of sleep , distracting sunspots in your vision , necessity of growth .

storm  -     CHAOS WITH A PURPOSE ,EMOTIONS RUNNING HIGH , NATURAL COMFORTABLE ANARCHY , high volume , LEAVING YOUR MARK , BRIEF FLASHES OF VIOLENCE , rambling quickly , THE INTENSITY OF DESIRE .

wind   -     running towards instead of away , instinctive motivation , MAKING AN IMPACT , knows everyone who knows anyone , PLAYFUL PRANKS , MOOD SWINGS IN A SPLIT SECOND , collecting old trinkets , uncontrollable focus .

snow   -   serene on the surface , cold blooded heart, LOVE IT OR HATE IT ATTITUDE , good memories , HEAVY DISCUSSIONS , SHARP DETERMINATION , relentless resolve , not as scary as it seems.

[crescntnight]

𝙇𝙊𝙎𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍𝙎𝙀𝙇𝙁 𝙄𝙉 𝘼 𝘿𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙈

BRAVERY.

you’ve hardened a shell around the person that you used to be. there was only so much you could take until you needed to gain control, change the only thing you could. you might think there’s only a yolk left inside, but there’s so much more. in the corners and in the crevices, there’s pieces of you that you never got to meet. i promise that little kid is still in there. things will get better because you’re good at breaking through things. so keep yourself together, yeah? that little kid still hasn’t seen the rest of the world yet.