#𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒂 ❪ 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈 . ❫ …what is a life? ❞

[opasnosts]

amelia: mint & daffodil

mint :   does your muse view themself as virtuous   &  moral ?what do these words mean to them ?

growing up within a pureblood family gave amelia a sense of these words, but in a very elitist way. what benefits your families image? what are you supposed to look like? talk like? her parent's made sure she was taught what a proper pureblood family was supposed to do. but in recent years she has been creating her own definition of these words. specially in her time at hogwarts, though she walks a thin line of what she shows other and the small actions she does for herself. so these concepts are really muddled for her. but being the stubborn witch that she is, she doesn't let anyone know that.

daffodil :   is your muse one to be loyal in relationships ,   or are they likely to quickly move from one bond to another ?

this is complicated, amelia at her core is very loyal. to a point that can be negative. but having to keep this image that she has curated over the years, the amelia she shows the world, she will most likely save her own skin. though if it comes to life or death she will offer herself to be the one to take the bullet or the pain. you have to understand that her idea of love is very abstract, none existant really. she cares for people, but does not know how to love in a healthy way. so loyalty is a tricky stone for her. she has the "no one really cares about me, so i have to take care of my self" mindset.

[opasnosts]

Maybe it was always meant to be like this. Maybe pain was just engraved into her destiny and she couldn’t really fight her way out of it. Or maybe she just put herself through these events, maybe she LIKED the feeling of pain, craved it even, in the different ways it could be presented.  did she even know life without it? Since the blonde could remember there wasn’t a time when something – anything – wasn't tearing her apart. Whether it be her parents or the situations that surrounded her. if she had to pick, she would take physical pain over mental pain any day ! Physical pain almost always could be fixed, being a witch had its perks and the healing potions, spells where so effective at times you almost forgot what the actual pain felt like. But when it was all in your head, how could you escape it? guilt was pain. embarrassment was pain. regret was pain. It was up to you to fix it, if it could even be fixed.

Up to this day, there were so many things that she regretted. these regrets followed her around. The killing, the manipulation, the torture. Everything she had done, bit at her, ate her up slowly. All she could do was watch. What time was there for healing during a war? She barely saw the same people every day and when she did it scared her. seeing people every day and engaging with them, meant starting to CARE. She had already lost so many people close to her, by death or distance, she couldn’t have that happen anymore. A bitter laugh escaped her, that was something that didn’t really matter anymore. Amelia bones was going to die and she knew it, she had come to terms with it. The minute she felt cold hands wrap around her arms and the pull that comes to your navel from apperating. That had been what weeks, months ago? Time was hard to tell when you were in a cell with no light and no one to talk too. Plus add that your body was beaten down and just lifting your eyes hurt. But did time really matter? When death was a breath away?