#🍒 (tendercoded)

[polyesterpeacock]

" larry ! "

such a saccharine voice coming from his computer could only be one person . hopefully . but sure enough , a cursory glance would betray a familiar , pink little desktop companion .

" i missed you ! ♡ have you been doing well ? "

"Oh, you know..." Larry mused, grin plastered on his face despite the exhaustion in his eyes. "Same ol', same ol'." Another of his patented 'non-answers'.

He plunked down in his desk chair, spinning around a few times before settling in.

"Whatcha got on the docket for me today, sweet thing? Am I still gettin' those spam e-mails about pills that make your schvantz bigger? And are any of them potentially not spam and actually reputable?"

He pauses, sips his martini.

"...just curious."

[polyesterpeacock-arch]

larry's desktop screen has been turned a powdery pink, and a phrase of affirmation stretches across it in pixelated lettering:

Remember to love yourself, too!

Larry's startled. For half a second he's terrified, until he remembers his new little...assistant?

"Don't have to waste any RAM reminding me to love myself, sweetie pie! I do that plenty often!!" He starts giggling obnoxiously at his own joke, but pauses shortly after, as if something clicks in his head.

"You.... You can't. Y'know. See what i'm. Doing.... on my computer. ...can you?" Larry asks, "I-I mean. Not that I do anything that isn't...y'know....business-type stuff."

There were plenty of eyes on Larry already...not only the patrons of his casino, but also his "investors", and dealing with them was always so..... cryptic. The only things Larry knew about them were what they chose to tell him.

But this cutesy little computer program? Didn't seem like their style.

A sickening feeling rises in Larry's gut, and he quickly rifles through lingo from his programmer days that he'd shoved to the back of his mind over the years in favor of pick-up lines and raunchy jokes.

"What privileges do you have on this system?"

[polyesterpeacock]

" have you tried signing up for any dating sites , larry ? " a very specific question . look , she's seen his browser history . she's probably inadvertently heard him talk to himself .

" there are a veritable superfluity of them nowadays . it certainly couldn't hurt to write up a profile and see if you find anyone that you match with ! "

Larry quirks a brow, "Hey, is that a dig at me? I'm not that desperate!"

He knows she's seen his browser history, and he's not so much embarrassed as he is concerned. For her, and himself.

"Look, i'm not gonna set myself up with some flowery little dating profile on some website full of nothing but lonely, homely-looking old broads! Those are the only types that actually use those things!"

Larry sips from his cocktail glass like a petulant child with a juicebox, trying very hard not to look offended.

"I'd rather meet someone face-to-face! At least then when they steal my credit card information and ghost me, I might still get a chance to touch 'em a little!"

He scowls at the screen he knows she can see him though.

"Fakakta machine.. s'posed to help me..."

[polyesterpeacock-arch]

larry, has your screensaver always just been continuous, pixelated little hearts, raining down like snow? because it is now. ♡ ♡ ♡

"Shoot, I thought my antivirus was up to date!" Larry mumbles to himself as he gives the ol' Alt+F4 technique a whirl, but the screen persists. Admittedly, it isn't the worst thing to have to look at, but Larry had some porn pretty important files on there he would very much like to be able to access.

He wonders if his nephew's heard about a virus like this....

..it would give Larry an excuse to talk to him, at least.