#💢 ( 𝕒𝕤𝕜𝕓𝕠𝕩 | askbox )

[feeblefortuity]

You have the nervous stare and state of mind of someone who ran over another human and does his best to hide it. Have you?

"....legally, I only 'grazed' him."

[feeblefortuity-arch]

I want to crunch on some rocks. Not like a boulder or anything but maybe some clay or drywall

"What in the--"

"RAY! HAVE YOU BEEN GIVING MY EMAIL ADDRESS OUT AGAIN?! I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU, THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"Was it the rock cru-"

"YES IT WAS THE BLOODY F-- ..YES IT WAS THE ROCK CRUNCHER!!!!"

[feeblefortuity]

Have you ever seen a ghost/spirit?

"Quite thankful to say that I haven't, and i'd very much like to keep it that way. Though, with the way my life is going i'm sure I must be incredibly tantalizing to any malevolent spirits drawn towards pain and suffering...or ones simply looking to spook a lanky Ichabod Crane-type just like the old days."

[feeblefortuity]

Do you have any plans for your birthday? If you're not doing anything, I'd really like to take you out, anywhere you like. If you want, you can even bring the kids and I'll treat you guys to dinner. Whatever would make you most happy."

"O-oh, um.. No...no real plans as of right now, no... I-if this is who I think it is, dinner does sound lovely. With the kids in tow, unfortunately there's a limited number of places we could go that I could guarantee accommodations for, but... Well, it would be wonderful regardless, and i'm sure Maria would appreciate a night off to do her own thing..."

[feeblefortuity]

Hey Eric, hows the kids?

"Oh, they're quite well, thank you. It was Show and Tell day at their school recently and they--unbeknownst to me, of course--brought one of my books chronicling the history of Jazz. You know, its origins, roots in blues, ragtime, and other genres, prolific artists, that sort of thing. Remarkably fascinating and informative for me, mind-numbing load of complete tosh for most other people who are not me, especially a class of bored, fidgety children. Teacher cut them off right about the time they started talking about World War II."

"So now I am colloquially known 'round the children's school as 'The Jazz Guy'...which is one of the kinder nicknames i've been given, so there's that at least."

[feeblefortuity]

 📐 5'1" but it has a BIIIIIG hat!

Send 📐 + your character’s height to compare with one or more of mine!

// LMAOOOOO BIG HAT HELL YEAH

[feeblefortuity]

🍂 FALLEN LEAVES — how would you metaphorically describe your life and the journey(s) you've been on?

💢

"Hmm... A bit like clawing your way up a great mountain with no equipment, and being rewarded with a swift kick all the way back down that mountain once you've finally reached its peak. Also you've got two frightened children strapped to your back the whole way, and you still have to find a way to pay rent each month."

[feeblefortuity]

would you rather never get angry or never be envious?

@the-haunted-office

(x)

"Anger's useful. Anger can pull its weight, get things done. Some of my biggest accomplishments have been motivated almost entirely through spite."

"All envy's ever given me are body image issues, sleepless nights and...incredibly confusing feelings towards other men."

[feeblefortuity]

"Hey, happy birthday, Eddie! I ain't much of a baker, but I thought I'd make ya a little somethin'. An ol' Bravo family recipe!"

Whatever Johnny was holding on the plate was completely unrecognizable. It was like some big clump of molten lava—and NOT the delicious chocolate kind, either. Parts of it were glowing a bright red. It doesn't even look safe to eat. What in the WORLD did he make him.

Eric gazes at the concoction with a mixture of disgust, confusion, and appreciation, not unlike when Brian and Claire collaborate on a well-intentioned yet ultimately unflattering portrait of their dad. Why did they always draw his head so big?

"Thank you!! This looks--" He catches himself, choosing his next words very, very carefully, "...like you've put a great amount of effort into it!! Oh, that's just lovely. Really, I appreciate it, I do. Thank you so much, Johnny."

[feeblefortuity]

"I, um. I hope you don't mind, but I got you something. Happy birthday!" It's a rather thick book, but it's an illustrated, photograph, document, and diagram-filled book about the history of British warships and naval ships, from the time of the Romans to modern day artillery. There's also a supplemental book about great ships and naval advances made during the American Civil War, because she thought he'd enjoy a little bonus history.

Eric's eyes go wide--well, wider than usual. He takes the book gingerly, feeling the sheer heft of it. From a cursory glance it seems incredibly in-depth, and he can tell it's going to be quite the read. A big, dopey grin crosses his face.

"This-- This is-- Oh my goodness, Shy, thank you!!" He takes a moment to flip through a few pages in stunned but gleeful silence before catching himself, realizing he's had his nose buried in his new book for a bit too long.

"Th-thank you...." Eric almost gasps, still taken aback by the sheer surprise of it all, "I don't...don't know what to say... This is so sweet of you."

[feeblefortuity]

Do you ever wish you were immortal?

If you could meet someone who has died, who would it be?

Who do you think would miss you most if you were gone?

Do you ever wish you were immortal?

"Oh, god, no! I have no idea how anyone could if they bothered think about it for more than a second! Sure, sure, death's sad and frightening, and we can never know what awaits us on the other side, absolutely! But life ends for a reason, doesn't it? And I don't mean in the theological sense, I mean the mechanics of it!

Bodies age and break down and eventually die because that's just what all organic beings do! Imagine having to drive the exact same car your entire life, your first one, the one you drove off the lot with as a teenager!! Sure you can repair it all you like, but one day it's just going to give out because its too old and too worn down. Death's a part of life! I may have cheated it more than some people, but if I had to keep doing this for an eternity i'd completely lose my mind! Why do you think vampires are evil?! They've got to spend eternity as whiny, anemic ponces who burn to a crisp in direct sunlight! I've only got to do that another couple of decades!"

If you could meet someone who has died, who would it be?

"I'd like to meet whichever prat first decided to make pickle jars so embarrassingly difficult to open, so I could kill them again."

Who do you think would miss you most if you were gone?

"I'd certainly like to think it would be my children. ...and perhaps Maria. Knowing Liz, she'd probably look forward to me being swiftly reincarnated as some sort of skittering insect or rodent. Maybe she'd actually treat me with a modicum of decency then."

[feeblefortuity]

Baggage: I have severe abandonment issues and will do anything to make sure you see me as acceptable enough to keep around.

💢

"Soooo, about the same thing I do at work every day to avoid having to find a new job in my 40's? I mean, sure, nasty habit to have, but listen... I'm divorced, i've got two kids, not a lot of money, and a growing list of mental and physical health concerns. If you're willing to deal with all that and still enjoy my company? Why even bother dating at that point?! We can just get the papers signed and be done with it.

I'll even let you keep your own surname if you prefer it! I'm well aware 'Feeble' is a bit of a...mm. A harsh one."

[feeblefortuity]

Baggage!

This man has a crippling addiction to opioids!

💢

"Oh, please, you really think that's an issue, Stu? You've used our loo before, you know that medicine cabinet looks like someone's raided a chemists' shop twice over. That's what the great big lock's for! Just don't do it or have it 'round the kids and we'll get on fine."

[feeblefortuity]

Giving a ten pound bag of butterscotch

"Ah... Wh- H- Th-thank you?? I'm-- Two questions: How did you get this many sweets and are you trying to send me into cardiac arrest?"

"...though, I-- Er-- Suppose a few can't hurt... What's the occasion? P.P. finally keel over dead from all the cigar chomping and skirt chasing? .....please don't tell him I said that."

[feeblefortuity]

a wet and skinny dog suddenly stands in front of his door in the pouring rain, whining and being cold.

Eric eyes the mutt, clear look of disdain on his face. Dogs were more trouble than they were worth, and yappy little chihuahua-types like this one were the worst of the lot. They were either trembling little freaks about two seconds away from getting startled by absolutely nothing and having a wee on your carpet, or tiny, vicious killing machines ready to bite your nose off for simply looking at them the wrong way, with absolutely no in-between.

Still...poor little sod was drenched and clearly freezing....

I'm going to regret this, aren't I...

In spite of himself, Eric kneels down slowly. The dog was probably lost, he figured, and if he found its owner perhaps they'd give him something in return.

"There now...there's a good boy....let's see if you've got any identification on you, shall we?"

[feeblefortuity]

👚 + a light blue t-shirt with a rainbow that reads: crippling anxiety

// depressed dad swag