#🔓—mitsery.anons

[erenoir]

Hi Fae! ♡ The ask that I sent you yesterday, please just answer it here once you’re ready. I don’t want others knowing about my relationship situation 😭 And the fact that you still haven’t respond to it yet is making me kinda scared bc I feel like I might have over shared or something & if I did I’m so sorry for that! 🥺😩 But if you actually have no idea what to say just tell me okay, I don’t mind 😌

-🕊

1. pls don’t be scared abt whether you overshared or not!! ik the feeling and it’s not great so just know u didn’t (at least for me) 2. i was gonna ask you to send a separate ask that i could respond to anyway so i’m glad you did lol & 3. typing this out gave me some clarity on things too so damn?

anyways here goes nothing,, me desperately trying to give relationship advice i hope this helps somewhat? i tried >_<

wow okay well… i read everything twice to take it all in. 8 years is a very long time! it’s amazing that you two have quite literally withstood every awkward phase, every self-discovery, every part of growing up together. since middle school! and it’s been 8 years so you’re probably around 19-20ish now?? i will say this, it’s hard to let someone that important go, you grew up with him, you fell in love with him, you were there for him in his darkest times and cutting that off is not easy. you loved him so much that you forgave him and gave him a second chance after he did that to you… (i won’t say what) i can’t imagine the weight you feel as you make this decision on whether you should break things off for good.

what i will say, is that there are people that are meant to be in your life for a reason, and not all of those people are meant to be with you through every step for ever and ever. some are just meant to be there for certain parts of it and it’s hard to accept that maybe it’s time to let them go. i mean, you and him have talked about getting married, i wouldn’t expect you to be able to just break up with him as if you don’t have all of this history behind you. but, you gave him the benefit of the doubt, i know plenty of people that would’ve dropped their s/o the minute they heard something like what your boyfriend did, but you kept him around and it seems he may have taken advantage of your unconditional love for him and went back to his old ways anyway.

i’m not a relationship expert, i’m just a 21 year old who is just as clueless as the next person figuring love out. but what i will say after reading your story and thinking about what i would do in your shoes, i think it may be time to let him go. it won’t be easy, it could take you so long to fully be over him and that’s okay, everyone’s hearts heal differently. but i think he’s been with you through the most vulnerable parts of your life and i think that you shouldn’t submit yourself to his behavior anymore. you’re still so young you might even be a bit younger than me?? when i tell you our 20s are a time when we do not need someone holding us back… i mean it. if we thought middle school/high school was a time of self discovery, now is when we’re gonna be doing the soul searching. and i really think he might hinder you from fully coming into your own!

he was in your life for a reason, he was a part of it when he was fit to be a part of it, but people drift apart and that is okay. he’s changed and you know what people are gonna change and they might fit into your life still or they might not. i’ve had falling outs with people who i thought but would be attending my wedding one day… and it sucks not having them here it really does. but over time i’ve forgiven, we went our separate ways but i’ll always be thankful for the part of my life they existed in and the lessons they taught me and the things they helped me discover about myself when i had them. and when i didn’t have them, for months after i felt lonely as shit, i didn’t have anyone, and it really felt shitty for a bit. but it’s crazy because as people leave your life new ones come in, and now i’ve found people that i really feel like are my forever friends. they came into my life when i had no one and i was forced to put myself out there bc i had no one, and then i met them.

what i’m trying to say is… let me wrap this up lol. better things will come. whatever you decide to do first of all is completely your own decision and whatever that decision is will come with a lesson and you’ll get through it. but, if you decide to break things off… don’t feel guilty. don’t let him make you feel guilty. he might get on his knees and beg you to forgive him but you did that already once before. you need to do this for you! and you need to keep walking!! it’ll hurt, it might take a lot to get you back to normal even though it won’t be the same normal as before but it’ll be a new normal and that’s okay! you’ll meet new people, you have to grow into this new self of yours but if you’re 20 or somewhere around there i’m just ballparking your age here lol, this is supposed to be like the best time of our lives or something idk that’s what they told me. so don’t let him hold you back, think about yourself here. you’ve done enough for him as he has for you!!

anyways that’s my very lengthy two cents >3< i’m so sorry u had to read all of that but ur the one who asked a VIRGO for advice i am not gonna skimp out on you!! i hope you were able to gain some clarity from my train of thought <3

[erenoir]

crybaby ch 5 crumbs pls😩😙🤲🤲 it’s for… science !

guys i don’t have any crumbs just yet i’m sorry >:c bc i haven’t started it but!! the reason i haven’t started it is because i have two collab fics that are due between this/next month that are both w eren one with eren x jean so i’m prioritizing those rn!! also kinktober and before i start chapter 5 i wanna rewrite the prequel and edit what’s currently published before i continue! but chapter 5 is you guessed it! gonna be sad,, umm maybe i’ll sprinkle some plot for you guys beneath the cut (this is all subject to change as i write) so spoilers for ch. 5 at your own risk <3 literally copy and pasted from my messy ass outline.

eren learns that things aren’t going the way they used to in his career, the tour he’s currently on isn’t selling out all of the venues the way he used to when he first started out.

“eren… you’ve been in the game since you were seventeen… you were a fresh face. now you’re three albums in and a fucking mess… so you either get yourself together or you fucking lose it all.”

angry sex. eren very angy when he fucks >:(

gritty bathroom scene for eren… his turn to hysterically cry on the bathroom floor.

“what the hell would you tell me to do right now baby…”

sad doctors office visit.

debating whether or not to put a very important phone call in this chapter between two very emotionally confused and temperamental people umm.

jean faces cry baby again, hoping to be better than he was last time.

[erenoir]

how different is the ao3 cry baby version compared to the current one? so will the current one still remain the way it is once you’ve posted the ao3 one?

WELL!! so here’s my plan, for anyone who’s wondering. i want the story to be consistent on both platforms! if anyone crosses over from ao3 to tumblr, vice versa, the story will be the same. so once i edit everything,,, i will be updating the chapters on tumblr as well! it’s not TERRIBLY different like i’m not adding huge plot twists or adding new plot more so just clarifying eren’s emotions in the first chapter, minor time-span changes (surprise: jean x reader didn’t fall in love in two weeks more like two months or something that was so stupid of me i really just picked any time and said that’s good <3) and overall just a light brush over. doing this now before i move into a huge phase of the story, still only four chapters in, so it’s not massive change and it’s not a shit ton to absorb either. you won’t have to reread everything to understand. the only thing i would want you guys to read is the expanded full prequel chapter hehe. 1. because it’s gonna be soft as shit, 2. so many of you ask about pre-fame eren x cb. and you’ll get more insight to their downfall. YEAH. well there it is. ig if u wanna take in the story as it is rn now’s the time to do it.

[erenoir]

I’m still team crybaby and Eren! I know you mentioned that you considered doing some light editing to ch1 if you post on ao3 and that excites me because I think it’s an opportunity to show his struggle with his actions there. Still complete garbage what he did obvi but no one is above redemption and he’s truly hurting too. Anyway just love this story xoxox

i love to hear it!! well i do really want to cross post to ao3 for chapter 5 👀 but before i post to ao3 i’m gonna take the prequel headcanons and make them into a full-length chapter, then edit chapter 1 to be how i ideally would’ve liked it to be if i knew at the time cry baby was gonna be a series. i’d probably do a brush through of the other chapters too.. but i think the edits i make to chapter 1 will give you guys incite to eren’s internal turmoil/struggle,, i like that… no one is above redemption and you’re so right.. anyways i love that you love the story xoxox >3<

[erenoir]

crying. why can’t shigaraki be real- i’d make him so happy, I HATE THIS

*screams while running away crying then falls face first*

THIS IS NOT FAIR wanna give him kisses *stomps*

yes, i am throwing a tantrum

- 🦇

you’re so right… maybe if i just close my eyes and fantasize really hard he’ll be real <3 i seriously have been thinking about him too much… nono like i can fix him 🙄😭😡🥊

*smashes head into wall* yeah i’ll throw a tantrum with you bb

n e ways, watching a yt vid about the mariana trench 🙄 quiz me on ocean facts or whatever 🌊🐟🐳

[erenoir]

sis!!! are we really anons if u’re able to track us down, i’m scared rn 😂😭 anyways, i love ur mikasa fic!!! 💗

lmfaosjks you absolutely are anons! i’m not a hacker, i’m not an it professional, i literally am like a grandma when it comes to anything beyond changing my profile picture i stg… i had help from a friend who is literally a computer genius. and the only reason i tracked that one hate anon is cause they’ve sent me hate repeatedly before and i had a hunch they were actually an ex-friend… constantly on my page even after being blocked for weeks,, turns out they were <3 it was scaring me and threatening my safety so… had to pull out the big guns. threaten them back! …i stayed quiet for too long and i think it’s funny when ppl think they can hide behind a keyboard and make comments about a persons appearance and weight without facing repercussions, especially if that person was once a close moot… i would never stoop that low. everyone’s different though ig.

BUT ANYWAY i’m glad you liked the mikasa fic!! it means a lot really :) just know you ARE anons and i love getting them,, i love hearing about your cute little days and stuff ok 🙄

[erenoir]

Bestie, this is going to be a long paragraph, so I'm so, so sorry but crybaby has been one of my recent hyper fixations and I just need to write an essay about it.

Okay, so, I just want to say that prequel crybaby lives free rent in my head, and my heart just bursts into pieces whenever I think of them. I imagine their love to be the kind of thing you see in movies—the rare kind of love you could only see in a life time. It was just so pure with utmost love and adoration towards each other. Its crazy to think of they found their person, their partner in crime, at such a young age. They were so supportive and passionate towards each other; one would constantly push each other to do their best because of how well they understood each other.

I could just imagine how freeing their love felt? Like the rush always portrayed in coming of age movies where the main character runs down the empty street at twilight, thinking that they had the power to conquer the world. They were so young and starry-eyed, and they had their whole lives ahead of them. They were so free to dream, yet they were always included in each other's plans.

Eren would achieve his dreams of being a Rockstar one day. They'd tour the world together and do whatever crazy thing is on their bucket list. But for now, eren would stick to creating melodies and lyrics in hopes that he could preserve what they felt and where they were at the time, so they could come back and reminisce on it when their older.

They were just so *sighhh*. These kids deserve the world man. A part of me still roots for them, that they'd get the happy ending they always wanted. Even if they don't end up together, I think a part of them will always love each other. Just a small piece of them tucked away in the deepest corner of their heart. That bittersweet feeling of nostalgia that would creep on them in the late-hours of midnight or whenever they'd hear their old favorite song.

I love to associate songs (most specifically taylor swift songs bc I feel like she has a song written for every ship) with stories, and songs that I think capture this young love would be "Long Live", "Sparks Fly", "Everything has Changed", "Treacherous", and "Red". My brain immediately thinks on these two and I feel like my heart has been trampled over by a truck.

Anyways, what I mean to say is that you're writing and characterization is absolutely amazing. Crybaby has me by the neck and I still haven't recovered. Hope you have a nice day/night/afternoon! 💛✨

oh my god… oh my god… i just had the time to read this in full and digest it and i don’t know i get kind of emo(tional) when i see one of you guys speak so passionately about the story. the way you compared their falling in love to a coming of age movie i could cry… like really i want to come back to this ask and read it over and over because your words mean so much to me and the way you speak about the story so beautifully?? it makes me feel like i wrote something special you know? and the fact that you haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, it just reminds me how many amazing ppl i have backing it up. also… as for miss. taylor,,, taylor has written the soundtrack to every possible romantic plot ever she is a genius!! she captures all kinds of love so well and it’s so real and relatable bc she speaks from experiences and she writes her own lyrics those songs capture their young love so well i’m- SPARKS FLY?? you’re kidding that’s like when they kissed on prom night get out! anyways this is now me rambling abt how much i love taylor so i’m gonna stop myself.

thank you for this message… seriously it means a lot to me. put a smile on my face!! come back and send beautiful essays like this whenever <3

[erenoir]

hopefully you get your room figured out, i do too, i have clothes and makeup everywhere .-.

i’m doing alright, super pumped about halloween coming up because of the decorations in stores now, new decor for my room :)

- 🦇

i hope so too 💔😣 oh my room is basically a clothes pile atp

okay same!! halloween is the best holiday/season, yes it’s a whole season to me!! i live for the decorations, movies, costumes idk what i’m gonna go as this year i’m stumping myself big time,,

[erenoir]

hiiiiiiiiiiii

i disappeared 0-0 haven’t really been on tumblr at all, school has had me so tired.

how are you 🖤?

-🦇

hiiii i’ve been wondering where you’ve been!! i totally understand school is starting to put a strain on me too :/ haven’t been as active as i normally am either >:(

but i’ve been doing okay?? not incredible but then again i rarely ever am fully okay lodljd rn im doing an overhaul of my room! i always let it get to the point that i can’t manage it so im trying to sort it out before it gets too bad again,, then im gonna work on some stuff for my classes maybe watch a scary movie 😤

buttt how are you? <3

[erenoir]

i loved that mikasa fic so much it was so amazing😭😭 it made my little sapphic heart very happy🥺

please omg 🥺 i’m glad you liked it!! happy i published it after all,, i loved writing mikasa so much <3

[erenoir]

i headcanon that highschool eren always spends too much time with crybaby until his friends got so fking annoyed 😩 i can imagine one of them saying “ remember it’s always bros before hoes ” & then eren responds with “ call my girlfriend a hoe one more time & you won’t have a bro ” 😖✋🏼✋🏼 im sorry jst let me fantasize a lil bc i was re-reading cry baby for the 20th time & i need smth to ease the angst 🥲

okay because the drabble i did on lovesick eren last night is exactly how i envision high school eren with cry baby. he would be with her actually all the time… he was so clingy but it was cute 🥺 please i’ll always let you guys fantasize over high school eren it’s what you guys deserve for putting up with my constant angst…

[erenoir]

hey baby you are so

hot damn doll would like to fuck ya on my

bi ke ahahahhahaha I'm so sexy you would

Never forget this night

H

A

N

M

A

oh my god poppy hanma! you sure know the way to my pants baby <3

love

F

A

E

[erenoir]

Lovesick obsessed Eren>>😩😩

yes… YES because i’ve been dying to talk about it for a hot minute… when eren is in love he is in LOVE. he’s a lovesick puppy once he’s found his person. wandering hands, stealing frequent kisses throughout the day… whenever he sees you he just has to kiss your temple or the back of your head as he snakes his arms around your waist, resting his chin in the crook of your shoulder. he’s attached to you at the hip, oh i think he’d be very needy… omg is this gonna be a drabble hold on let me get my water bottle…

eren is one to be completely enamored with his partner, he loves so passionately, so hard that sometimes it scares you. when he’s not with you he’s thinking about you, and when he’s not thinking about you he must be doing something really damn distracting. he doesn’t do the extravagant, not when it comes to dates or any of that stuff, he loves the unplanned with you, he can make anything worthwhile as long as you’re with him. late night drives, stopping at the drive thru at 3 am, watching movies from his phone in his car before he drags you to the back seat and ***** you until the windows are foggy. “you’re so beautiful baby…” he whispers out of breath with his cheeks flushed and his hair falling out of his bun, all of it is so very eren, i feel like being with him would feel a lot like a movie- when it’s good it’s good… let me romanticize this for a bit okay? you work through it when it’s bad, because that’s what lovesick eren does, he just loves so fearlessly, and will quite literally confess his love to you every day he’s with you like he hasn’t done it a hundred times before <3

[erenoir]

NO FAE I DIDNT SEND PRO EVIL JEAN I SAID WAS THE ANTI EVIL JEAN BC I KNOW & LOVE JEAN & HE WOULD NEVER BE EVIL HES TOO MUCH OF A SIMP

-🧽🧽

OH OKAY 👀 IM GETTING ANONS MIXED UP NOW! so you’re anti evil jean,,, honestly i could never see evil jean being canon in a fic unless obviously he’s ooc,,, he’s too much of a hopeless romantic for that!! sweet jean who’s at his breaking point is the most “evil” i’d ever write him in cry baby 👀

[erenoir]

OMG FAE IM SO EXCITED FOR UR MIKASA FIC YAY, LIKE BADGIRL MIKASA?? HELLO??😮‍💨😮‍💨

would you ever consider writing for sasha one day, i’m so in love with her😭

also i wanna cry bc i got my class schedule today & i only have 2 sleep ins & i looked at my directory & i don’t know anyone in my classes😀😅😭 i’m terrible at making friends i’m such an introvert AND i’m the only girl in one of my classes it’s small & even the professor is a guy😭

but girl boss right love breaking gender norms😍

-🧽🧽

HELLO!! IM GLAD ONE OF US IS EXCITED FOR THE MIKASA FIC CUZ IM SO NERVOUS FOR IT LOL it’s my first wlw fic and i just hope it’s received well :/ please the mikasa brainrot has been SO bad lately guys,,, this fic just poured out of me i swear.

hmm i could see myself writing for sasha in drabble/headcanon form,, i don’t know that i’d write a long fic for her! but, BUT i would write for yelena + ymir i love doms 🏃‍♀️💨

oh my god babe i’m sorry 😭 please you have to gaslight gatekeep girlboss all of those men okay?? i’m the worst introvert too, and i have such a hard time making the first move to talk to ppl. i would just sit near people that look nice and maybe ask a question about the work 👀 that should help break some ice

[erenoir]

I remember you mentioning that working with cb eren is like walking on eggshells. He's very temperate so his mood fluctuates often, and it usually affects everyone near him. What does his peers or the general public think of it? I know that he's really talented, but does his attitude hinder him from landing really good deals or contracts?

his peers/team find it the most annoying thing,,, eren’s personality i find to just be a product of his environment?? he wasn’t always a temperamental, verbally abusive asshole, so when it comes to booking gigs and contracts it really doesn’t hinder him, i’m sure big names in the industry know who the brats are but if they’re the hottest thing in music then they’ve gotta book them! as long as eren remains at the top of the industry then landing deals and contracts isn’t an issue, it’s just up to his team to reign him in and tame that nasty attitude of his. it’s very stressful to them, he can easily snap and take their job at any time, but it also saddens the people that have been with him the longest, watching him change from a young hopeful into an industry monster is depressing. and having to stick by him in all of it sucks, but the people that knew eren when he first started out know that he’s still in there somewhere, so that’s why they stay. i also think eren gives them preferential treatment for the way they stick by him through every meltdown and tantrum.