#🧰 a girl's guide

[hugsqueeze]

I'm finally remembering how to draw again, so I thought I'd dust off some old OCs and show you the two main characters for A Girl's Guide to Power Tools :9 grins... Yasmin (left) and Kayla (right) 👍 They do NOT get along.

[mtnkat3]

Oh my loves .. good morning! I hope you got a good nights sleep!

Well..cause I kept waking up.. thinking about you . Then well..got kinda uhm.. happy when I looked.. & all kinda thoughts running rampant.

But I think I was ...a cat around rocking chairs because that tumblr game last night. It happened too close to bedtime & think I was fighting spiralling in sleep. The thought you don't want me.. scared the crap outta my soul! Makes my heart jump & skitter & drops my tummy to the floor.

That one.. oh my loves .. it kinda smacked me back into focus. Which my precious Beloved Bears Angels mates to my soul knows.. all too well.. both makes me blush.. & makes me superbly happy.

Yes I feel vulnerable & exposed. I wanna be looking up into your eyes when I lay my soul bare. To read the nuisances of your body's & soul's reaction to how I'm feeling.

All I keep hearing.. God.. you .. Soon. Soon.. I pray this means before Thanksgiving! Whimpering sob. Christmas? Because I am about to make some pushes into the trailer I need, & the things I still need to get to move. Then I'm gonna start scheduling with apartments to view. Money spending time. Sigh. But. For the best purpose of all..

Making my way to you .

Because that you are gonna give up on me scares me more than me stepping out the door. It's my biggest fear. Losing you .. my soul's mates .. that would make me the biggest failure in the universe.

It's the biggest catalyst to push.. inspire.. motivate me. To keep going. Not let go. To not give up.

I think it's why God had things happen this way. I needed the Guidance, Teaching, guiding hands, Wisdom to help me keep going & give me the Strength & Perseverance.

As much as its sucked for us to be separated, it's also been vital in my growth as a woman, a Christian & a friend.

I am worthy of your love.

You are more than worthy to have the best of myself I have to give!

But you also know .. me.

The good, bad, ugly.. the wild crazy maverick kat.. the scared lil girl that wants to hide all my darkness & fears. The warrior queen that's armored to protect the marshmallow parts of me.

God & you alone will know the depths of me.. even the imperfect parts I reveal by these writings cannot truly describe .. me. I've just lost .... the poet.. the author.. the artist.. the musician parts of my soul. I want me back. I want to share me.. with you .

That's way more important & vital to me than complacency!

I am nervous. But I will not wait for my life to be my own anymore.

The big difference.. wh wants to control & demean & belittle.

You have always made me feel like I'm flying!

Ok. Tucking my soul back into my furry self & hiding myself back from the world. Time to close this.. pray to keep working my path right so when I see your eyes.. I can soar in them!

I love you .

.

I believe.

I will work as I await you on my cliffside my precious Beloved Bears .. Angels ..

~True love never dies & true love always waits!.~

Your humble, frustrated, impatiently patiently waiting, listening closely, carefully & quietly.. Your complex quirky warrior queen daughter.

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. 🌺🐾🐯✝️

🤓👩⚓🙇‍♀️🙏🌂🔗

⛓🧰🏋️‍♀️📝📋📦🏗🧱⚙⚒🛠⚔⚖🗽🦅🕊

🥧🍁🧣🥾🍋🥤🥨🍯🍼☕🍫🍎🍑🍒

🐯🐾🐐🦉🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌹🌻🌷🌳🧶🧵

⌚💡⚡🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🎯🧭🕯🎶💋

Su.11.13.2022 10.36am est.

[hugsqueeze]

Since they're on my mind, I wanna ramble a bit about Yasmin & Kayla and A Girl's Guide to Power Tools in general >_<!!!!! Smiles normally!!!!!!

A Girl's Guide follows Yasmin as the protagonist. I think I briefly mentioned before that she is a socially anxious college student who struggles with stepping out of her comfort zone. Trying new things and socializing are very difficult for her, so she has avoided them as much as possible throughout her life to save herself from embarrassment. As a result, she has no friends and little actual life experience outside of staying at home and helping her family. Eventually, she reaches a point where she realizes this and decides to try and push herself to meet new people. While looking for local things to do, she sees a flier for a home improvement workshop. Called........ A Girl's Guide to Power Tools. LOL.

Despite her anxiety, she attends the event. And here is where she meets KAYLA. Kayla is the daughter of the woman who runs the whole seminar thing and it is CLEAR that she doesn't want to be there. HAHA. Kayla is cold and unsociable and seemingly perpetually bored with the whole thing. She's meant to help her mother with the class(es), but it's evident that she's only participating on the most minimal level she can get away with in order to appease her mom. Yasmin, trying to stretch herself and talk to new people, introduces herself to Kayla and tries striking up a conversation.... As you can imagine, Kayla is not very receptive and brushes her off almost immediately. This makes Yasmin feel horribly embarrassed. She wants very badly to give up after being shut down like that, but Kayla's mother (Malvasia) encourages her to stay after a little pep talk.

SO BASICALLY..... The more time she spends coming to these workshops, the more shady it becomes until it's revealed that the DIY workshop aspect of the whole thing was just a coverup for a business? Type thing? A highly illegal way of making money via. Killing people.... 🧍‍♂️ Every time Malvasia opens up these workshop things, she starts off teaching the class normally but then she picks out one person who catches her eye and eventually scouts them (IN PRIVATE) for this type of thing... Of course, Malvasia ends up taking a liking to Yasmin. When she pulls her aside, Yasmin is of course horrified and unwilling to kill anybody. And etc etc....

Kayla was naturally first to join her mother's killing for money scheme and she's been doing it for a couple years by the time the story takes place... Over the course of the story, Kayla softens up to Yasmin and ends up turning on her own mother, defending Yasmin from Malvasia and saving her life. 🫶 And they end up together in the end. But.... EEK. I think that's all I'll say for now. ^_^ THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, I HOPE THIS MAKES SOME KINDA SENSE!!!! BYE BYE 🌈

[mtnkat3]

4.46pm

Grinning. All random but the last was "thinking" go figure. 🤔🤷‍♀️

Yeah my loves .. gotta work on my daily things. I've been thinking about not going out with wh for midday food. But. It's the only time I get away from here. I think the best thing to change is to get back into my early morning habits. Very hard for me though. Never an early riser. I am the kat that covers my head. Thank dad hammering & running saws at 7am on Saturdays as a kid. And always living near train tracks that are crazy loud, even 2 miles away! When worked at that store I was up at 5am to be there by 7am. 2 miles. And usually was in bed by 11.45pm~midnight. But I also got an afternoon nap ~4pm for ~1hr. So. Start bedtime prep at 11pm so in bed before midnight. And then up my alarms & add more. 5~10am.

I'm also wondering about my meds, specifically Levothyroxine. If my dosage is correct. Still tired, still lethargic, still low energy.. &.. cold hands & feet, breaking nails, fragile hair. All classic thyroid issues symptoms.

Now that it seems my ins/cobra is fixed [sigh. next $ due.] Paws crossed! I can call my pcp to reschedule. But got a busy day tomorrow. Counseling, new back tires on truck, premium due. I probably will be running all day.

So need to get my laundry done! I only have a couple pair of jeans that aren't too snug right now.😳😖🙈🙊 but. I was the girl with one pair of pants in 7th grade, ~4 in hs. More important things, like food, than asking my parents to spend on clothes. Clothes, rolltop desk, dad built bookcase headboard.. that was Christmas. I am both careful, frugal, & creative with money & belongings.

I dress up jeans.. or I just go simple. Tee, jeans, jacket & my Tijgeress cap today. Hair in a side braid .. course I also got wh diet coke on my nice tank. Sigh. Having boobs. Grin. I swear I need a bib! On went the jacket.🙄🙈🤷‍♀️ and yes my loves .. I was drinking water with lemon. I 95% of the time do. Rarely sodas. But oh how I miss Barq's, tea, coffee & hot chocolate! [I get coffee in my Bolthouse Mocha Cappuccino protein shake so have to be careful. I'm sensitive to caffeine. Not sure why.]

Blushing beet red. That's me calming down from driving & navigating around a mall. Which I rarely do. Just awesome greek restaurant there & wh wanted to look for shoes. I'm of the mind of find on line, after having my feet properly measured. To find the best deals. At least until I can be truly selective. More American made. Heck me made!

Start living a fully abundantly rich life! With my precious beloved mates!

Not be stagnating & dying ..

But doing & lovin life the way we want to! Whether that's enjoy lazy Sundays.. Having a church home. Going to football games on Saturdays. Making Christmas decorations & gifts. If we travel & do things. Heck, my life .. I'm rewriting my story. I want to do whatever makes us happy. Whatever that may be..

I love you.. & I miss you fiercely.

I will find my way back to my life's proper path because God's Guiding me. And He brings us together. It makes my soul feel fulfilled.. & motivating me to push myself. Not just words. But praying His Hands to make me right again!

Sigh.. so hard to be separated from you.. just makes me think about it all constantly. But I need to get my butt movin. Move the cat. Lol! Do my running up & down basement stairs routine to get laundry done.

I love you..

I will await though whilst I work.

~True love never dies & true love always waits.~

Your complex warrior queen daughter.

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix.🌺

👩🤓⚓🙏🙇‍♀️🌂🔗⛓🧰⚙⚒🛠⚔⚖🗽 🍁🧣🥾🥧🥮🥤🍋🍯🍼☕🍫🍎🍑🍒 🐯🐾🐐🦉🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌹🌻🌷🌳🧶🧵 ⌚⚡🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🎯🧭🕯🎶💋

Su.10.23.2022 7.06pm est.

So difficult to write this one.😖🙇‍♀️