#'fight because you don't know how to die quietly'. and then its just the foxes marching out for a chess tournament

[thespineoftherighteous]

honestly thank God that aftg is centered around exy and not some real sport because let me tell you. I would not be able to take this seriously if Neil was risking his life out here for football or volleyball or freaking polo or basketball or even soccer or hockey.

because of the way Neil talks about exy, there's something so fantastical about it as an imaginary sport. like I know what it's like to play basketball and soccer and it's nice but it's hardly put-the-Mafia-on-my-ass-so-i-can-get-one-more-game-in nice. and if that's what he was staying for I'd judge him very much for that, idc if he waxes poetics about the smell of chlorine at the university pool or the feel of fresh turf beneath his cleats. but because I barely understand exy I'm just sat here like well I mean maybe the kid has a point who am I to say

[handsingsweapon]

i feel like the women in yoi are pretty awesome and don't get enough attention. so do you have any headcanons about any of them? or any stories from behind the scenes in any of your stories?

they are awesome! i feel like i don’t know quite enough about them to have the kinds of elaborate ideas i have for the men, but i’ll give it a shot:

mila babicheva

12850813/10 babe factor

guilty of a number of crimes, including but not limited to:

sneaking yuri plisetsky into concerts all over st. petersburg

working on out-drinking the rest of the russian skating team

she’s already ahead of georgi and she’s got her sights set on victor

she knows better than to try to keep up with lilia

having surprisingly (scandalously) high scores in “purity tests” - everyone except for the hockey brother (see below) and yakov are always shocked

has three brothers. is the youngest. learned how to beat them all up when she was little and getting bullied so now they all fear the wrath of baba-yaga (and also there’s a reason why she can lift yuri plisetsky and this is it)

her mother was so delighted when they finally had a girl that she immediately enrolled mila in girly things which is why she can do ballet and why she’s shown helping yuri plisetsky, supposed ballet prodigy-child, get better

because she’s more experienced than he is, even

one of those brothers is a hockey player

so she can also skate on hockey skates and play a little? but it’s always bad whenever she plays pick-up because she tries to use the pick to stop and hockey skates have no pick and why are you in the wall again mila

anyway, he keeps getting offended when she dates his teammates

he keeps trying to warn the team but look at her

she’s a red-headed babe, so naturally nobody listens to him

bi-sexual

when she’s a little bit older she’s going to find herself sitting around with the other skaters at some event

and she’s going to get into a long discussion with christophe

reactions will be as follows:

christophe torn between delight and a fierce competitive streak in regards to who can say the most suggestive shit

yuri plisetsky will keep making howling noises and/or want to die while pretending like he’s not taking notes from both of them

yuuri katsuki will be the shade of a tomato while pretending that he and victor never do any of these things

victor nikiforov will be cheerfully encouraging them both (victor voice: “wow!”)

don’t be fooled, she is lilia’s actual favorite

okukawa minako

203588532/10 wish i could grow up into this

do not attempt to outdrink this woman

FOXY-FOX LADY would 3000% write a story in which she, mari, minami, and yuuri are actual kitsune (someday, someday lbr snaggle-tooth child is there already it’s practically canon)

knows lilia and/or had a rivalry with lilia at some point on the ballet circuit

young lilia is all formal and distant. extremely polite. reserved. curt.

young minako hosted drinking parties and got the rest of the cast drunk

it’s like the movie black swan without the crazy twist at the end, e.g. picture lilia as portman-swan and minako as kunis-swan and there you have it

they’re past it now but young lilia was like ugh and they gave her an award wtf gross even though at the time her expression was :|

and then, according to minako, her face froze that way

there may or may not have been a moment where minako actually got young lilia drunk that old lilia refuses to speak of

but you’ll note that old lilia can now drink anyone under a table

and has minako-sensei to thank for that

went to school with hiroko

a couple years older. original shipper of the s.s. katsuki, though

firmly believes she’s responsible for mari’s conception and the subsequent rapid wedding that occurred

there was an incident involving a young katsuki toshiya who may have been given too much to drink by a young okukawa minako

and you know what drunk katsuki men do best amirite? they go seduce the shit out of the loves of their lives

totally had a fling with celestino in barcelona after their night out drinking from ep. 11

totally drunk-told him that he’s older than the men she usually sleeps with

zero bedside manner for celestino’s hangover the next morning

just straight up left the poor man there

katsuki hiroko

could have been the star of some nana-esque shoujo series about how she was the sweet nice girl who looked up to badass amazing okukawa minako

had the world’s biggest crush on katsuki toshiya

refused to do anything about it

minako intervened

mari was a pre-engagement surprise

hiroko broke down in all kinds of tears when she found out because scandalous

toshiya proposed immediately

but also apologized profusely because hiroko is a saint AND LOOK WHAT HE DID 

minako also made him get on the ground and grovel about it, just for her own amusement?

and then she did whatever the equivalent of a late-1980s japanese high-five was

has never gotten over her schoolgirl-girlcrush on minako which is why both of her children took minako’s dance classes

is one of those women whose life dream has always been to have a home and a family

like, her friendship with minako is odd because young!minako was dangerous and ambitious

and all hiroko has ever wanted is a husband who gives good back massages and to have the kinds of feelings she had when someone at a hospital first put mari into her arms or when she watches yuuri skate

just. loves. her. children. phichit and victor and kenjirou have fights over who is yuuri’s number one fan right up until the point where katsuki hiroko quietly and politely clears her throat and then they all shut the fuck up

but! she doesn’t expect anyone else to want what she wants which is why she’s so supportive of mari and yuuri and the way their gender-roles are very much reversed?

has realized that her son’s gay ever since the “let’s order more victor posters, mom!” spree

has had more than one conversation with minako about how she still can’t believe yuuri managed that, though

katsuki mari

203852/10 i love her

flannel-wearing lesbian

doesn’t date all that often though? super low-key about it

just like the rest of her family when she’s in a relationship it’s usually by dumb luck or fortuitous accident

got all of her advice about this initially from minako which is why they’re now friends and why mari travels with her to barcelona

actually went of to college in osaka? didn’t like it. came home with a few tattoos, more piercings, a cigarette habit and transferred back to someplace more local (prob. fukuoka) to finish her degree

has had to reassure both parents that being at the onsen is actually what she wants

super-pragmatic, so she got her degree in something she actually thought would help the family business: hospitality. and she’s taken culinary classes

will discover later in life that she likes ceramics / making things with her hands

will wind up being ridiculously good at it

develops slight fame / interest in her work

shows pieces at the onsen / sometimes in museums

pretends to be the least invested in yuuri’s career

but gets the most shouty if the wifi starts sucking and the stream goes down while yuuri’s competing in another country and she’s not there

extremely protective of her baby brother in spite of her attitude

the best in the family at getting yuuri to perform functional tasks when his anxiety is at its peak

beat the everloving shit out of the first person to ever bully yuuri in school

“your sister is terrifying” - nishigori takeshi to katsuki yuuri

threatened to beat the everloving shit out of nishigori takeshi for knocking yuuko up

babysits the triplets all the time though

worst enabler for their skating otaku behavior

sara crispino

i think i’m so weirded out by mickey that it’s hard for me to like her / i’ve avoided developing headcanons about them

24/7 energizer bunny type energy levels

yuuri thought he was tired after shopping with victor? this is some next-level shit, honeychild

imagine if you will a day that all the skater!friends spend at the beach

imagine that at the end of this day, something like three in the fucking morning, sara is trying to convince everyone that it’s a great idea to stay up just a few more hours because then they can get breakfast ^o^

meanwhile phichit chulanont is asleep on christophe’s shoulder

yuuri looks like he’s about to die

victor is pretending to be dead already

yuri plisetsky already gave up and left

even mila is like … struggling

italian, though! so many great things about italy

routinely offers to host friends with the crispino family and/or meet them in italian cities while they’re on vacation to show them around

mickey 100% always misinterprets this gesture as “sara trying to date someone”

in reality she’s just super-ultra proud of her country and wants to share it

culturally catholic but not that strict about it

knows precisely where the best pizza is in naples (and naples has the best pizza, so)

beats mila in beach-babe contests every time

after she retires she pursues two careers:

she becomes an italian television personality because she starts commentating for all the olympics and the nation immediately decides that she’s a national treasure

goes into costume design for skating. a+ really good at it best fashion sense 10582082/10 should wear again