#'keep it in your pants' from current stepdad (back before I knew what was going to potentially escape my pants other than number 2)

[ahnsael]

So...I’ve been giving the date thing some thought.

She’s a great person. I do like her. But...I haven’t felt that *spark.*

Maybe it’s just that I’m afraid to fall in love too quickly. Maybe I’m just not ready. Maybe it’s my lousy brain telling me that I’m not worthy. Maybe she’s just not the right one. Maybe it’s 11 years of the single life screaming at me that “THIS IS NOT NORMAL TO GO ON DATES.”

I still want to go out with her again, but...if I haven’t felt that stirring of desire to be with her soon, I don’t want to string her along.

So I’m thinking we go out again when our schedules dictate that we can, and I see how things go as far as whether I feel that sudden “more-than-just-twitterpated” feeling, and then...just have the talk then. Tell her that I like hanging out with her, and still want to be friends with her, but...that I’m just not at a place where I feel like I can take it beyond that.

I’d rather do it sooner than later. Not that I don’t WANT it to work; just that the longer it goes, the more SHE may get HER hopes up, and I don’t want to play any games with someone else’s heart. But I also don’t want to let what could be my brain messing with me screw up a good thing, which is why I want to go out with her again before I make that decision. Because who knows?

I want to fall in love with a person, not just the idea of having someone. It wouldn’t be fair to them if I was looking to “end single life” more than I was looking to “be with this person specifically.”

I do appreciate any input you may have...be it in a reply, and ask, or a submission.

Like is it too soon to say I haven’t felt that “spark?” Or is it better to trust my gut after the first time hanging out? She really seems to be a groovy person...I just don’t feel that connection that I felt back when I was engaged (but we all know how that ended, at least those of you who have followed me for a long time -- with that one sending a Dear John email on Christmas Eve).

And obviously comparing her to someone for whom I fell WAY too hard WAY too fast over 20 years ago isn’t fair, but...I still hold a lot of regret over those days. They’re way too different of people to compare directly, so I’m pretty much comparing myself to the “myself” from 1997.

To me, none of this seems fair to her. But...if I keep things going, assuming I don’t feel that “spark” soon, would that be unfair to her as well?

I have no clue what I’m doing, y’all. I want to do right by her without putting myself in a bad situation.

Thank goodness that if “what do you want to do next?” was a hint at something, I didn’t go there. Because I’d feel 10x worse about this whole thing if I’d had done physical things (we kissed on the cheek at the end of the night, which seemed right and not too forward, especially since we went for a mutually-agreeable hug and when she kissed me on my cheek during that I reciprocated; I didn’t initiate the cheek kisses but was okay with them).

I don’t want to use her. I don’t want to play games. I don’t want to drag her along. But I also don’t want to “write her off” as if she doesn’t matter, because she definitely does.

For those of you who have dated more than I have (and, trust me, if you’ve dated as an adult you probably qualify), what’s the right course to take here? And if I’m being an asshole for thinking the way I’m thinking, PLEASE tell me that I’m being an asshole in this.

[lahyene]

Midnight Drive.

Pairing: stepdad!ransom x reader (18 y/o)

Summary: Your household changes when your mother is forced to marry Ransom Drysdale as a part of a business deal. Even though he’s technically your stepdad now, it’s sure hard to see him that way when you’ve already developed a bit of a crush on him. 

Themes: infidelity, smut, car sex, choking, daddy kink

Word count: 1632

He rubs his temples in utter annoyance as his wife, your mother, goes on and on, lecturing him about how he shouldn’t spend such late nights at the country club with his friends now that he’s a married man. He’s tired, irritated, and ready to snap any second. Both families are well aware this marriage is simply a business transaction. Your mother’s grandparents are well known in the publishing world, as is Ransom’s grandfather. The two combining efforts brings wealth beyond belief, if everyone cooperates. However, the thirty-six year old man had no idea that his new wife would nag so damn much.

He had also been a bit wary of the idea of having an eighteen year old stepdaughter. Your forty year old mom had you quite young, and so having a “father” figure who was just a few years younger than her did not feel too different. 

Except for the fact that he was really nothing like a father to you whatsoever. At first, the two of you somewhat ignored each other. It was when he discovered you knew how to hold your alcohol that he became intrigued, and the two of you would start drinking together and actually getting to know each other. He’s blunt, sarcastic, crude, and sometimes even a little mean to you, but oddly enough, you like it. After being a part of such a rich and stuffy family, his straightforwardness often feels refreshing.

You walk into the room, feeling a bit sympathetic that he’s currently facing your mother’s wrath. Not to mention angry. You’re the only one who knows that your mom has been cheating on Ransom; an arranged marriage would never hold someone as feisty as her down. You feel a strange sense of protectiveness towards this man, and you have no idea why. Perhaps because you’ve developed a bit of a crush on him.

You know it’s wrong. But so is everything about this twisted marriage, and so you figure your crush wouldn’t harm anyone. Your mom doesn’t even care about him.

“Mom. Can you please stop yelling? The entire neighborhood can hear you.” You look at her in annoyance, coming over to sit on the armrest of Ransom’s chair. “You hang out with your friends all the time, why can’t he?”

Ransom blinks but looks up at you in slight amusement, the corner of his lips barely tugging upwards. He seems to have missed your subtle emphasis on the word “friends”, but your mom sure didn’t. 

“Y/N,” she immediately scolds, eyes narrowing slightly. “Stay out of this. Just go back to your room and get to bed, you have class tomorrow morning.” 

Ransom arches an eyebrow, placing a hand on your back. “She’s eighteen and in college now, for God’s sake- don’t tell her to go to her room.” He suddenly stands up, gesturing for you to stand as well. “I’m taking her on a drive. You need to fuckin’ calm down or something, I’m not listening to you scream your goddamn brains out at me anymore.” 

“In the Beemer?” you immediately ask hopefully, eyes lighting up as you ignore your mother’s incredulous expression. Ransom chuckles lowly, nodding his head.

“The Beemer. Let’s go.”

- - - - - - - - - -

“God. What a shit show.” Ransom lifts a cigarette to his lips to light it, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes as he takes a drag. The car is parked on some mountainous hiking trail, nothing before you but the nature under a starry night sky. You’ve never seen anything so beautiful; this certainly beats being at home with your angry mother.

“Can I have one?” you ask him hopefully as you eye the box, and he scoffs in response, glancing to you briefly before closing his eyes again.

“Hell, no. What are you trying to ruin your lungs for? Besides, your mom will be able to smell it on ya in a heartbeat.” He opens his eyes, taking another drag as his blue hues study the scenery. “She always been like that?”

“Wow, look at you, stepping up as a father.” You drawl sarcastically, but lean back in your seat, looking ahead too. “No. Guess she’s just stressed lately.”

“God, do not call me that.” He rolls his eyes, even shuddering slightly. “Aren’t we all? She doesn’t have to be such a--”

“Careful, Ransom, she’s still my mom.” You warn him playfully, arching a brow. “What, you don’t want to be a father?”

“A father, no. A daddy? Sure.” He replies with a smirk, turning his head to look at you. “So if you’re looking for one of those, I can definitely help you out.”

You can’t help but blush, not having expected him to flirt with you so openly. “What if I said I was?” you ask somewhat boldly, keeping your eyes on him to see his reaction.

He blinks, looking at you for a few moments as he takes another drag, then suddenly puts out the cigarette altogether and tosses it outside. He then sits up straighter, shifting himself to face you, leaning in close so his eyes can lock onto yours. 

“Then I’d accuse you of bluffing.”

Your breath hitches slightly as you stare into those ocean eyes, a little intimidated. You’re considering pulling back, telling him that it’s getting late and you should be getting to bed soon- but you realize you’ll only end up being disappointed with yourself if you go down that route. You have to at least try.

And so you lean in too, connecting your lips with his, kissing him as fiercely as you possibly can. Fuck it, you’re going to give it your all. 

You know it’s working when he grabs the back of your neck with one massive hand, his kiss far more rough and dominant than you could ever be. You gasp when he pushes his tongue into your mouth, exploring as his fingers pull your hair- his other hand goes to your thigh, squeezing hard. You’re already overwhelmed, but in the best way possible.

“Well, what do you know,” he mutters huskily between kisses, just barely pulling back to offer you his devious smirk, eyes alight with mischief. “I guess I was wrong.”

You giggle breathlessly as you pull him back in for another passionate kiss, murmuring playfully, “Wow, have you ever said that before?”

It isn’t long before the two of you are fumbling with your clothes, him hastily removing his belt in order to lower his jeans as you wiggle out of your shorts and move your panties to the side, situating yourself on his lap as smoothly as possible. He leans over to grab a condom from the dash- you give him a look and he simply smirks, shrugging nonchalantly. “You never know, right?” He suddenly pauses, looking up at you suspiciously. “Wait. Have you done this before?”

“Did you think I was a good, innocent little virgin, Ransom?” you whisper teasingly, plucking the condom from his hand and opening the package, sliding it over his thick length. You see him look annoyed, clearly from being protective, and you can’t help but laugh. “Relax. I’ve only slept with one guy before.” You raise a brow, wrapping your arms around his neck. “But I bet you’ll know what you’re doing way more than he did.”

“Oh, you got that right.” He mutters, suddenly grabbing your hips and lifting you up. “He was probably your age, huh? I’m going to be the first man you fuck, baby doll, get ready.” 

You gasp as he sinks you down onto his length, your sultry moan escaping your lips almost instantaneously as you hold onto his slicked back hair. “O-oh... Ransom!”

“Don’t you mean Daddy?” he hisses with a smirk, moving one hand to slap your ass roughly. “Let’s try that again.”

He bucks his hips upwards roughly, making you whimper loudly in pleasure. “Daddy!” You’re quick to correct yourself, tilting your head back as you start bouncing on his huge cock, pulling on his hair. “Oh, my God, you’re so... fucking big...!”

“Yeah? You like Daddy’s big cock deep inside that little tummy, baby girl?” he growls, groping your ass with one hand practically using his hold to move you up and down with ease. “Fuck, you’re so fuckin’ tight. Shit you feel good. You’re such a good girl for Daddy, huh?”

“Unn... yes, yes! That feels... so good!” you cry out in delight, bouncing up and down on his dick, riding him harder and faster as you move your hands to dig your nails into the fabric of his expensive shirt. His hands move all over your body, groping your breasts, playing with your nipples, squeezing your waist, even choking you at one point as he continues thrusting upwards into you, occasionally smacking at your ass so hard you’re sure there’ll be marks by the morning. You’re in absolute heaven from all the sensations, your eyes nearly rolling back as you moan louder and louder.

You’re completely breathless as you find your release, panting and shuddering just from hearing the low and husky timbre of his groan when he comes. You slowly lift yourself up, getting back in your seat somewhat haphazardly as you fix your panties and shorts. He removes the condom and tosses that into the bushes without a care in the world, adjusting his belt and jeans. 

“I can’t believe we did that,” you breathe out, running your fingers through your hair as you lean back, staring ahead with wide eyes.

“Yeah? Because that was only the first of many, my dear.” Ransom looks to you with a breathless smirk before reaching for another cigarette, leaning back rather heavily as he lifts it to his lips to light it. 

[taejinpurple-blog]

ARTISTIC BEAUTY OF LOVE- CHAPTER 2

Fluffy Romantic Story about two guys who became friends and blossomed into something more.

*Mature Scenes later on.*

Trigger Warning: Speaks about sexual abuse in later chapters.

I did my best with editing. Sorry in advance if there are any mistakes. But I really tried to make sure there were not many. Please enjoy

Previous Chapter: https://hopeless-taejinstan.tumblr.com/post/172321771135/artistic-beauty-of-love-chapter-1

Jin stared at his notes, the beginning of the semester was always the slowest part of school. He looked towards the other side of the classroom where Miyeon was taking her notes. She was the only girl who didn’t chase after him or act silly when he looked at her. He still remembered the first time he ever laid eyes on her.

~~~~~

Jin yawned lying on a bench taking a quick nap. He still had another hour before his next class.

“Leave me alone!” He heard a girl shouted.

“Why baby? You don’t wanna go to the movies with us? He heard a guy ask.

“The more the merrier, right?” He then heard another guy and sat up. He saw three guys pinning a girl to a tree. He stood up walking over to them.

“Didn’t she say to leave her alone?” He asked making them look at him. The three guys instantly surrounded him.

“Aren’t you bold there, pretty boy? I would keep quiet if I was you since you’re outnumbered.”

Jin punched him in the stomach, the other guys were shocked by his sudden attack and saw their friend was out cold. Jin did a roundhouse kick in the air before looking at them.

“I’m a black belt, wanna try your luck?”

The two guys picked up their friend and ran off. He looked at Miyeon who was wiping her tears away. He paused when her soft doe-like brown eyes looked up at him. His breath caught in his throat at her beauty. Her straight jet-black hair flowed down to the middle of her back and her bangs stopped at her eyebrows. He noticed she was thin but had some curves.

“Thank you so much for helping me.” She smiled walking towards him. His cheeks became hot.

“Y-Yeah …bye.” He gathered his stuff and ran to the nearest building.

~~~~*~~~~

He moaned to himself. “Kinda after that, I’ve never been able to talk to her no matter how much I tried.” He thought to himself.

She glanced at him and he instantly looked away. She forced a small smile and looked at the professor.

~~~~*~~~~

Tae hummed to himself walking down the hallway. He couldn’t wait for his last class to end. He was going to be able to challenge himself in drawing. He walked into his art class and spotted the boy with light brown hair that he shared a table with.

“Hey, Jungkook.” He ran over to the table as Jungkook smiled at him.

“Morning Tae.” Tae sat down next to him. “Have you thought about what to draw for class?” He asked. Tae placed his head on the desk sighing.

“It’s between a tree and a fruit bowl right now?” He asked and Jungkook nodded.

“There you are Tae.” Yoongi walked into the classroom.

“Yoongi Hyung, what brings you here?”

“Your grandfather said you left your money on the kitchen table.” He handed Taehyung his money.

“Oh, I really did! Thank you so much, Hyung!”

Yoongi yawned. "Not a problem."

“Ah Hyung, this is my friend Jungkook. He’s the first person I became friends with here. Jungkook this is Yoongi Hyung, he’s renting a room at my grandfather’s house.”

“Nice to meet you.” Jungkook shook his hand.

“You too.” He gave a soft smile and walked out the class ignoring the girls that were staring at him.

“Wow, you live with him?”

“Yeah and five others.”

“He’s really hot.” Jungkook smiled and Taehyung tilted his head.

“Are you into men?”

“I am.”

“Wow, you're so straightforward about it. You never felt any confusion about it or anything?”

Jungkook shook his head. “ Not really, I knew from a young age and my mom accepted it with open arms so I’m comfortable in my sexuality. How about you?”

Tae folded his arms. “I am too though I tend to my thoughts and feelings to myself."

"Your family doesn't except you?"

"My mom does and that's really all that matters. But my other family still kinda stick their noses up at me." He shrugged.

"If they can't accept you, then fuck them. That's my motto this year."

They both laughed.

~~~~*~~~~

Jin and Tae entered the house after classes. Once Tae walked through the door he turned to Jin.

“Okay, time for a naked picture!”

Jin covered his mouth looking around.

“Babo, don’t say that out loud! You don’t know who's here and worse what if Grandpa hears and gets the wrong idea.” He scolded the freshman. “I’ll meet you in your room. I gotta prepare myself mentally for this.” He sighed, and Tae nodded skipping off. “Why did I agree to this again?” He groaned walking into the bathroom.

He knocked on Tae’s door after leaving the bathroom.

“Come in,” he said. Jin took a deep breath and walked inside. He saw Tae’s back facing him. He looked around and his mouth flew open. His walls were covered by anime posters, idol groups, and random drawings.

“What is all this?”

“All the anime and music I like.” He said. “When I like something, I like to hang it on my wall, so I don’t forget that I liked it.” He began rambling about the different types of music and anime he liked. Tae then looked at Jin who’s eyes widened.

“Y-Y-Your glasses?”

Tae rubbed the back of his neck. “When I seriously draw something I usually put contacts in because my glasses sometimes hinder my view.” He ran his hand through his hair and used a headband to hold his hair back.

Jin stared at him in amazement. Now that he was able to see his full face, he was very handsome. His features were almost unrealistic, big beautiful bright brown eyes, nicely shaped plumped lips. His eyes traveled down to his body where he noticed a white t-shirt and ripped denim jeans.

He closed his eyes shaking his head. What the hell was he looking at? And handsome or not this guy was weird.

Tae tilted his head.

“Jin Hyung, are you alright?”

“Let’s get this over with.” He mumbled, and Tae nodded and set up a chair for himself.

“You can sit on my bed.”

Jin removed his shirt, Tae looked at him before looking away. Next, Jin removed his pants and neatly folded them on the bed. He took a deep breath to remove his boxer briefs until Tae sprang up.

“What are you doing?!”

Jin saw Tae’s face was beet red making his own cheeks heat up.

“I’m getting naked like you wanted to draw!”

“But when you take your boxers off …you’ll be barring everything.”

“Yeah!”

“Okay.” Tae took a deep breath.

Jin turned his back to him. “Don’t get embarrassed after asking me to do this.” He muttered. He placed his hands on the rim of his underwear and began to pull them down.

“W-W-Wait!” Tae grabbed his wrist making Jin look at him.

“What now?”

“You can keep your boxers on and just throw that sheet over your lap instead.” He said making Jin’s face drop. “My innocent eyes shouldn’t see such a thing.”

“Your innocent eyes are gonna get fist soon,” Jin said making Tae chuckle. “How long?”

“About an hour.” He said sitting down across from Jin. “Just place your hands on your lap.”

Jin watched as Tae’s eyes darted from him to the sketchpad. Jin looked up at one of the posters in boredom. He noticed five guys posing with big smiles.

“Who are they?” He finally asked. Taehyung looked at him before turning to see what he was looking at. He then smiled and went back to drawing.

“That’s BigBang, they’re really awesome.”

“Ah, I heard of them.”

“They’re good right?”

“Yeah.”

“You can talk as long as you stay still. I know an hour or so will be boring just sitting there. I really appreciate this, so thank you.”

“I guess your welcome …you did force me kinda,” Jin said making Tae giggle. “How long have you been drawing?”

“Since I was about four or so. I’ve always loved drawing.”

“What brought you here?”

“I heard this college had a great art program.”

“My questions aren’t distracting you, are they?”

“No, I have a younger brother that’s eight years younger than me, so I mastered the art of multitasking.”

“Your dad is Grandpa’s son, but he said he hadn’t seen you in five years. Are your parents divorced or something?”

“My father died five years ago.”

Jin instantly winced. “Ah, s-s-sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up something tender.”

“It’s alright, I like to speak about my father.”

“So it’s just you, your mom and your little brother.

“And my stepdad, my mom remarried two years ago.”

He nodded. “How is your stepdad? Is he one of those stepparents from hell?” Jin tilted his head when he saw Taehyung visibly flinch but he remained silent waiting for him to say something.

Tae licked his lips and moved his face closer to the sketchpad.

“H-H-He’s cool.” He managed to get out. That was an odd response but then again Jin noted Tae was odd himself. “Enough about me, what about you?”

Jin groaned a bit, he hated talking about himself.

“What do you wanna know?”

“I don’t know, tell me a little about your background, your hobbies and why you live here.”

“I have a mom, dad an older brother. He’s ten years older than me and he’s currently married with two kids a boy and girl.”

“Aw, how old?” Taehyung smiled.

“My nephew is five and my niece is three.” He then sighed. “No one but Kennie and Grandpa knows this but I feel like I can trust you.” Tae looked at him for a moment before going back to his drawing. “My family is wealthy, I came here for that reason. I wanted to make a living on my own and not constantly live under the shadow of my brother and father and I don’t have any hobbies.” He shrugged.

Tae stopped drawing and stared at him.

“You don’t have anything you like to do?”

“Not really.”

Tae placed the sketchpad on his lap. “That’s bad! Hyung, you must have something that you enjoy doing in your spare time, at least one thing!”

Jin rubbed his head trying to think. “Well I used to play the acoustic guitar but I stopped my senior year of high school because I felt it was pointless.”

Tae gasped as his eyes grew wide. “You can play the guitar? You should still play it! I wish I could play music but my talent is drawing so I can’t complain but being able to play an instrument is a blessing and you shouldn’t take it for granted.”

Jin rubbed his head from getting lectured. “But I have no time anymore between full-time college and full-time work.”

“There’s always time to do something that makes you feel at ease. If you don’t make time for yourself you’ll be old, gray and bitter before you know it wondering why nothing ever makes you happy. It’s important to take time for yourself.” Tae pointed his pencil at Jin. “Hyung, take better care of your mental health.”

Jin laughed, this guy never failed to amaze him.

“I would love to hear your play one day.” He said smiling.

Jin stared at him. No had ever said those words to him before and he almost didn't know what to make of it.

One amazed him about Tae. Not only did he have a hidden beauty on the outside but on the inside of him was something beyond words. He found it funny that Tae was so quick to say someone like him was beautiful but he felt the real beautiful person was him.

Next Chapter: https://hopeless-taejinstan.tumblr.com/post/172349423050/artistic-beauty-of-love-chapter-3