#'no we don't offer or know of anyone who offers insulation assistance programs' would have been a very reasonable answer | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

medicinemane · 2 years

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It does make me wonder about... about people's comprehension as a whole, where it's just like... somehow you've failed to understand the basic premise of the question and by going off on an unrelated tangent you've done nothing

It's like if someone asked "I'm allergic to beets and I don't really like yams, was there another option I could use for that recipe?"

And the person responded "I agree, I don't really like yams either, that's why I usually use beets"

Or it's like the post where the person was lamenting not having disposable income enough to even afford an impulse buy of something like a mug, and everyone gets hung up on giving them tips to buy mugs, when... the mug was clearly an example, the problem they're complaining about is too tight of a budget

It's not just reading comprehension either, because I'll experience this in face to face conversations too, even with very intelligent well educated people like therapists (my really good fit therapist I could say "that's not what I want to talk about", and she'd just be like "cool", and we could get to what was really the problem on my mind that week)

I'm sure I do this too, but like... I at least think I do it relatively rarely at least compared to the times where I've just taken a stab at inferring what someone's feeling based on what they said and having them go "exactly", and at least I usually am willing to just stop in my tracks if someone says "no, I'm talking about this"

Then you've got the question of why people do it, and the easy answer is just "oh, something something intelligence", but... lets say for a second that the majority of people are just plain stupid... well then that's how it is and you have to work with it anyway, but I really don't think that's it

Maybe it's just that we all get so fixated on our own lives and our own values that it's hard for people to stop viewing things through their own personal lens, and that makes it hard to engage with what's actually being said

Maybe it's something totally different... I don't know... there's just a huge communicating issue these days and... and I don't like it

#is it worse now than in the past? better? I can't say #I just know it's there and you see people talking past each other all the time #you get stuff like me asking the power company if they had any programs to help with insulation #and getting back a response like:#'you'll need to contact an electrician to see what's drawing more power than it should'#???#that wasn't remotely the question #I know what's drawing power and it's drawing the correct amount of power for what it's doing #the question was if you knew anyone who could help do stuff that would make me have to run heating less often #'no we don't offer or know of anyone who offers insulation assistance programs' would have been a very reasonable answer #I'm not mad that I got a no (I'm not mad in general; just confused); I'm perplexed by a response to a question I didn't ask #and I see it all the all the all the time; not just happening to me either #and I see it in not question based formats like with politics #where there are people that'll be like... I actually have similar goals to you; if you'd stop insulting me I might be willing to cooperate #but you're being very nasty and you're stubbornly insisting it's one very narrow solution or nothing... no thank you #which is a shame because I think this is a real problem and I'd like to see it fixed or at least worked on #but you can't communicate; and so... so what am I supposed to do? just smile as I take shit from you as you bitch about me #because I don't come to the conclusion that this is a problem in the right way for you?#and you're probably thinking 'yeah; you're right; I hate when x group does this'#but friend I'm telling you that when I'm talking about this I'm thinking of two issues on opposite ends of the political spectrum #where I agree that there's an issue that needs addressing but people are so nasty if you don't fall totally in line #so it's like... who needs it?#so all I'm saying is no judgement and no saying you specifically have a problem #but saying we could all do with taking inventory and see if there's places we're so hostile no one can approach us #unless they're already in our corner and thinking how we think #and I could name both of the issues but like... who needs that?#like I do agree to an extent with both of them; but I don't think either one is going about it in a way that will work #and the moment you're not totally in line you're a monster; and that's not just me putting words in people's mouths #...eh #no one can fucking communicate

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