#'social norms aren't a thing everyone's different' go kiss your new coworker on the lips. go ahead

[mythicalcoolkid]

Y'all please stop responding to "I wish someone had told me that these experiences weren't normal" with "well NOTHING is normal, normal is all subjective." THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE OBJECTIVELY NOT AVERAGE OR EXPECTED. THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE SAYING. It isn't an "I'm so weird I'm not normal" thing it's "most people are not regularly in pain." "Most people do not feel physical pain from sounds they dislike." "Most people do not wish they had different sex organs." "Most people do not feel so much fatigue that they are unable to work." "Most people do not feel their mouth itch when they eat bananas." "Most people do not still feel intense fear 6+ months after a distressing event." "Most people do not have immense difficulty reading." There are things that are legitimately statistically abnormal. That's FINE. It's not a value statement!! The existence of "norms" will genuinely always be there in any given area! You don't look at a fish that's six inches long in a species that's normally two feet and say "well fish are all different sizes, normal is subjective!" You find out why that fish is so much smaller than its peers, then see if you need to do something for it. Maybe it's fine and healthy! Maybe it's not getting access to food or it's sick! But knowing that something is uncommon HELPS YOU UNDERSTAND YOURSELF AND OTHERS, and if someone is directly saying "I wish I'd known this wasn't normal," they're probably saying "I spent a lot of time feeling confused, alienated, and struggling because I still knew I was different. I just thought it was my fault"