#( ... ) WR. — ELEANOR CRAIN.

[destage-arch]

CAST ( IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE )   ,     EXILAE IN THE ROLE OF THEODORA ‘THEO’ CRAIN  ,     DESTAGE IN THE ROLE OF ELEANOR ‘NELL’ CRAIN   .     KENNA FORGOT THE MEME    ,      ​  ❛   I LOVED YOU THEN AND I LOVE YOU NOW.   ❜

hers are cracks that showed too late,    hidden under flowers until this body was breaking,   and now she knows that her loveliness has become something twisted,    shapeless and writhing under her skin.    sometimes she still feels like the small child clinging at their sleeves,    pulling bodies closer and closer,    holding on to holidays and birthdays and believing recklessly that this year will be better,    that they can stomach a meal across the table without horrors resurfacing.    and now,   this year,   like every one she can convince them around a table,    eleanor’s sitting on a porch step swallowing a disappointment that feels like knives,    wondering if they were all shattered so far beyond repair that they cannot find themselves back to something real.    they’ll not try family time again at christmas,    she’s sure of that.    for now,   it’s raining and her fingernails are bitten down so hard they’re starting to ache,   and she’s thinking about local motels that might be easier to handle than this,    wondering if luke will come with her and she can pretend they’re happy for just a little while,    when the body sits by her side,    warm and steady and a promise made.     she leans in without thinking,    seeks a warmth that will sink into her aching bones,    make her feel like her bones aren’t quite so aching,   filled with a corpse - cold that comes from the grave,    from the dark halls of her home.       ❛    i know.  ❜        but she keeps looking forward,    staring at the distance as if she expects to see something coming for them,    with teeth and jaws unhinged,    to claim the life stolen;    she never could be present.       ❛    i do @exilae,    and they all love each other but it’s like this every year.    and every year i keep begging them to try again and i don’t know why i do it anymore.  ❜   

[destage-arch]

CAST ( IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE )   ,     BATFALL IN THE ROLE OF BRUCE WAYNE  ,     DESTAGE IN THE ROLE OF ELEANOR ‘NELL’ CRAIN   .     KENNA FORGOT THE MEME    ,      ​  ❛   I LOVE WATCHING YOU WORK.   ❜

most days,    she makes an effort to float under the radar,    relies on headphones playing old songs that keep her in the sunlight of the kitchen,    keep her mind from wandering too deep into a house with corridors that look like jaws,    doesn’t show them that her body is there but her mind is somewhere else.    she’s aware of the eyes on her,    had hoped that three months in would be enough time for her name to stop sounding in halls when they whisper it,    to stop mingling with the ghosts that haunt her and sounding like a eulogy.    sometimes she imagines they pretend to speak to her to sound interesting,    that when they call home they say they spoke to the crazy crain girl,    the one with her family history spread out across tabloids and podcasts and she’s sure there was talk of a tv show once.    sometimes,   even knowing that,   she wishes they would speak to her anyway,    give her a break from the endless loneliness of her own thoughts.    it’s okay.    she never thinks of anything to say either.    it’s been twenty - eight minutes and six pages of the text book since she came in,   settled deep into a chair sipping at lukewarm coffee and when he speaks she takes a moment to register that the words have fallen in her direction,    that the shadow on the page is a body by her own.     there are doe’s eyes that look up towards him,   calling rose - shades to her cheeks that almost make her look less pale,    a smile forming towards the first person to speak her way that day,    wondering if he’s another mirage,    or wishful thinking.     she’s not sure if they’re friends,    not really sure if she’s said more than ten words to him,     but she allows the light to hit her cheeks and thinks he might be the closest thing she has,    like an almost that lingers there and she likes the way it warms her bones,    likes the honey - hope of it,    likes to imagine he knows her name and doesn’t mind the haunting.       ❛    i think there was a seminar in week one about walking away from people who say weird things to you.   ❜       her voice scratches from under use but she laughs a little,    allows it to fall out like the breeze,    passing quickly.     ❛    do you want to sit?   ❜     /    @batfall​

[destage-arch]

CAST ( IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE )   ,     LTSAVIOUR IN THE ROLE OF JAKE SERESIN  ,     DESTAGE IN THE ROLE OF ELEANOR ‘NELL’ CRAIN   .     KENNA FORGOT THE MEME    ,      ​  ❛   I’M NOT A GOOD PERSON.   ❜

his are hands that only touch her gently,     take the shattered, sharp edges of all her hurt and learns to cradle them without bleeding.    when she thinks:     I WILL CUT YOU,     she only means without intention,    means that she only knows death and she can feel it coming for every one of them,    means that she has long accepted that there is no happy ending for herself but she has never wished to bring him down.     there are eyes outside the window watching,    ghosts that gather under streetlights and whisper honeyed longing against the wind and she hears them,    feels their strength,     but @ltsaviour closes the curtains and the hands loosen around her lungs and she thinks,    maybe,    maybe this is the way she can survive the past.     sanctuary has meanings but they begin and end with her name on his tongue drowning out the summoning,    telling her to stay here,    and she closes the door to the waiting house and comes out to the porch with her back to the light that beckons her home and she lives,    recklessly,    endlessly;     eleanor survives this time.     (   for now,    because there is always a monday with the open road and she returns to a place where she is cowering in the dark wondering if the phone will ring,    a face in the mirror that she cannot quite look at,    and her lingering at the end of the bed,     where she always will be.   )     and so his words paint laughter on her lips,    soft, sugar - sweet as hands entwine like ivy and she thinks there will never be a way she can speak the value of safety,    the way she has coiled into his bones where his skin can protect her from the coming harm.     and she makes a gift of smiling,    gentle palms, gentle soul,    each pressed against him to pull him from the darkness that has settled within his gaze,    and she says:      ❛  i think you’re better than you think you are.   ❜

[destage-arch]

CAST ( IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE )   ,     DINOPUNCHING IN THE ROLE OF CAROL DANVERS  ,     DESTAGE IN THE ROLE OF ELEANOR ‘NELL’ CRAIN   .     STARRING IN A PRODUCTION OF ...     SHORT STARTER CALL 

sound fills every inch of her,    too loud in her ears and she fights the urge to press fingers against he ears,    trying not to give the ghosts the satisfaction of knowing she has heard them.    attention is taken by the woman before her,    too wide eyes landing on the other’s smile as if she can drown everything else out.    it’s becoming harder to keep herself present as the house narrows it’s gaze.        ❛  you haven’t told me where you were, @dinopunching.  ❜

[destage-arch]

CAST ( IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE )   ,     BATFALL IN THE ROLE OF BRUCE WAYNE  ,     DESTAGE IN THE ROLE OF ELEANOR ‘NELL’ CRAIN   .     STARRING IN A PRODUCTION OF ...     SHORT STARTER CALL .

hers are weathered bones,    and she cannot stand as a wall between his body and the hungry mouth of a city that wants to devour him,   cannot stop the eyes from landing on his skin.    and so,    she stands guard while the darkness creeps into his gaze,    pulls him close to soothe the hurt lingering on his skin.         ❛  —  sit with me.    i don’t have to go into work until this afternoon.   ❜    / @batfall​

[destage-arch]

CAST ( IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE )   ,     BATFALL IN THE ROLE OF BRUCE WAYNE  ,     DESTAGE IN THE ROLE OF ELEANOR ‘NELL’ CRAIN   .     STARRING IN A PRODUCTION OF OF ...       SPOTS TO KISS  ,    20. A KISS WHERE THE BACK OF THE NECK TURNS TO SHOULDER .    ( @batfall )

she falls into him without thought,    allows his arms to pull her in close without defences coming up around her,    lets him settle into the walls that she has built around herself.    there’s a warmth that swells out within her,     a way the ghosts settle back and she allows herself the peace that he can press into her bones,     allows herself a moment to rest away from the fear that lives within her.     he’s a salvation on the worst days,    knows how to beckon her back when the house has taken her hostage,    when the jaws have unhinged themselves and are threatening to swallow her whole.      bruce stands warm and heavy behind her,    a steadiness she knows she can lean on,    ever present even when the bad days sink onto her body. 

and she smiles when he presses his lips to her skin,    tastes the salt - sweet lingering at the back of her neck after the day,    presses love into her as if she is something holy,     something to be cherished.    there’s a gentleness to the laughter that comes from her lips,    softened as it slips out,    a breathy sound that she gifts only to him,   only here where it is safe.     hands still for a moment before she brings them up to wrap around his arms,    keeping him there with her with a gentle hum,   head tilting so that he has more access,     so he can levy any distractions on her he chooses to.    happiness is syrup - thick when it settles in her bones,    a feeling she never thought she’d own.          ❛   i’ll never get dinner made if you keep distracting me,   ❜

[destage-arch]

CAST ( IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE )   ,     DOCTORGEISLER IN THE ROLE OF NEWT GEISZLER  ,     DESTAGE IN THE ROLE OF ELEANOR ‘NELL’ CRAIN   .     THE SCENE BEGINS ... INSIDE HIS APARTMENT, THE FIRST PLACE TO FEEL LIKE HOME SINCE RED WALLS AND A HAUNTED TRUTH, LATE NIGHT, RAIN CREATING SYMPHONIES ON THE WINDOW PANES.

@doctorgeisler :          i want you to feel good.

there’s  safety  in  a  moment ,   in  his  palms  pressing  heat  through  the  too - thin  fabric  of  a  cheap  t- shirt ,   in  the  way  his  always  bright  eyes  are  now  seeing  right  through  the  walls  she  has  built .   she  wonders  if  he  can  feel  her  heart  pounding ,   the  sound  of  it  filling  her  own  ears  so  completely  that  she  can  hardly  think  through  it .   she’s  untethered ,    trapped somewhere ,    between  the  kitchen  counter  that  had  occupied  her  thoughts  moments  before  and  the  warm  steadiness  of  his  body ,   and  for  the  first  time  she  doesn’t  fear  falling ,   knows  he  will  catch  her  if  the  ground  falters  below  her  feet .   and  there’s  a  smile  on  her  face  when  she  opens  her  lips  to  speak ,   voice  so  soft  with  feeling  that  doubts  cannot  have  place  to  grow  between  them ;    for  now ,   she  is  allowed  to  feel  alive .       ❛   you make me feel good.   ❜       the  words  fall  with  radiance ,   a  slight  giggle  marking  their  tone ,   a  softness  he  has  pressed  into  old ,   haunted  bones .   the  house  seems  so  far  away  now  that  she  wonders  if  it  exists  at  all ,   if  she  might  have  been  freed ;   it’s  foolish ,   but  her  chest  fills  with  bubbles  and  she  thinks  she  can  pass  a  moment  in  foolishness .   for  him ,   anything  for  him .   cheeks  upturn ,   lips  pressing  against  lips  as  she  draws  him  closer ,   needing  more  of  him  by  the  moment .   they  spend  time  in  kissing ,   the  clock  moving  lazily  through  three ,   four ,   five  minutes ,   until  her  cheeks  flush  and  her  lips  pull  back  rosy  and  swollen .   and  she  is  happy .        ❛   you always make me feel good.   ❜

[destage-arch]

CAST ( IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE )   ,     LONELYG0D IN THE ROLE OF THE TENTH DOCTOR  ,     DESTAGE IN THE ROLE OF ELEANOR ‘NELL’ CRAIN   .     STARRING IN A PRODUCTION OF ...        SHORT STARTER CALL .

the wind here smells like the sweetest of summers,    a sugar syrup that sits in the nose and she almost thinks it would grow sickly,    if they spent too long there.    her hand finds @lonelyg0d in instinct,    linking them together as she learns the new ground under her feet,      breathes in another place and finds herself happy there.         ❛  —  where to then?  ❜