keepitjazzedup-blog

[stillresolved]

“I want to know what makes you happy.”

[ for annie ! ]

@xinxiins / "i want to know..." prompts

WHAT A STRANGE QUESTION TO ASK. Most of the time when people see her, they don’t ask her about her life. If they even ask them in the first place. She can always see it in their eyes, the prying questions: what happened, how did you get like this, will you ever be the same again, oh that poor girl-

The questions are never about her, so much as they are about what was done to her. The same difference between a subject and an object. Maybe that’s why he asks her this question instead. She doesn’t know what he’s been through and it is vice versa too, but like is attracted to like. The wounded have a way of finding one another, the same way rivers will always make their way to the sea in the end.

“...Water?” She offers, hesitantly. Is that too simple of an answer to say? Although perhaps it is not right to say it makes her happy so much as it calms her, silences the thoughts when she can’t do so herself. “The beach. I grew up with the sea and the sand at my feet. And Samchu– the neighborhood cat. She likes it when her chin is scratched.” She closes her eyes, remembering Samchu’s purring against her fingers. The calico cat would then rub her head against the back of Annie’s hand. A small smile. 

“Chocolate. I like the dark ones and mint. I don’t like it when they’re in bars; the individual pieces have prettier wrapping.” Would anyone care if they knew? Annie doesn’t know, but if they would, would they go out of their to–

Oh wait, there is one person. 

What makes Annie happy, Lí Chényǔ asks her, when sanity and coherence already feels out of of arm’s reach. Happiness? It wasn’t even, and still doesn’t feel like a priority for her. And yet, and yet-! In the midst of this chaos, she did find something. Or rather someone found her. She thinks of long hair and a stoic demeanor. Of a voice strong and controlled, but still chooses to call Annie’s name gently. Yes, that’s her north star, isn’t it? Annie’s light in this dark chasm.

“Ara.”

My best friend. 

“She makes me happy.”