#( psst hi! if there is demand for it i can do crush stuff <3 )

[rodrickheffleyimagines]

The 5 Dangerous Symptoms of a High school Crush-

Request: Hey I love your blog could you do a request of Rodrick having a crush on the reader, and she to him. Could it be fluffy, have some jealousy, and him checking her out at one point?

Warnings: Jealousy [be gone]..if someone gets that I will love you forever

{Disclaimer} Gif is not mine

Rodrick Heffley was quite...confident in himself when it came to approaching a lady he was interested in. He knew it, his closest friends knew it, even Greg knew it. Unfortunately for Rodrick, that all changed when you came along. His palms would start to sweat and he’d stutter uncontrollably in your presence. But who could blame him? After all, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)  just so happened to be his very first real crush. Having a crush, on you, his first one, in high school, did I mention this is his first crush? Either way, one thing’s certain- it comes with a price. A huge price. Symptoms.

Symptom #1: Checking them out without even noticing it. 

It was a bright Monday morning and Rodrick was dreading the week to come. Nothing could change that.

 “And then I asked if she could perform at my cousin’s wedding and she actually said yes!” 

Correction: Only one thing could change his pitiful week into a joyful one- you. Hearing your sweet voice for five days a week seemed to be his only motivation to not skip his classes. Even if you weren’t directly talking to him, it was enough. Rodrick couldn’t help but admire how cute you looked in your frisky outfit consisting of shiny pastel pink flats, a floral dress and a jean jacket. He wondered if-

“Rod, dude! Earth to Rodrick?” One of his friends asked, snapping in front of his face. Before Rodrick could react another one of his friends responds. “Maybe he was daydreaming about that girl again, what’s her name? Was it-” “W-what? No, I’m trying to figure out the songs we need to practice for rehearsal today!” This was not good. Others were catching onto his little secret. 

Symptom #2: Thinking everything they do is fascinating.

“Come get this weeks school paper! Our front-page headline: Does the Cafeteria Diet-Pop Actually Respect the Guidelines of a Diet?” you loudly say. To him, your voice overpowered every conversation occurring in the hall.

“Don’t you think this is cool? Students from our own school are smart enough actually write this stuff!” he states enthusiastically to his band-mate. “Weren’t you the one who said it was the dorkiest-” “Yeah that was before their stories actually got interesting.” Rodrick interrupts. “But you only read the stories written by that girl in our English class.” “Jeremy, there are plenty of girls in that class. Be specific.” he says, rolling his eyes. “You know, the one who always raises her hand to answer stuff, she’s-” Rodrick zones out of the conversation as he stares at you recite the school cheer routine perfectly. At least to him it was perfect.

“Oh wait, now I remember her name. It’s (Y/N), she writes the articles you read. I think she’s the girl you’ve been stalking for the past few months, right?” “I don’t stalk her! She just happens to be in the way of my view all the time.”

Symptom #3: You overthink a lot. And I mean A LOT.

“Woah! Sorry, did i hurt your head?” you softly ask. “W-wha-n-no I-um you-my head-” “He’s fine.” Jeremy intercedes.You smile and within the blink of an eye, you disappear. “Dude, keep your calm!” he tells Rodrick. “Yeah, I just you know-” “Sure. Just don’t do it again. It’s not cool.”

He looked like a fool. No doubt about it. What if you thought he was a creep and left so quickly because you got scared? What if you never talk to him again? It was all his fault. He just had to be looking at his phone when you two were about to crash into each other. Did you sniff his shirt? He hoped so. He chose a clean one in case you sat next to him in History class. Impressions are very important to women-according to Greg’s diary-so he wanted to make a good one around you. But what if you thought the material was too rough? Were you as picky as his mom?

“Rod, you were like staring at the same spot on the wall for 5 minutes, you good? Maybe we should call band practice off for today..”

Symptom #4: You’d do anything and everything to get their attention.

As you walked past Rodrick’s lunch table to your own, he couldn’t help but want to make you glance over at his direction for at least a second. For once in his life, he wanted to be noticed. 

“Ben, Al, I was thinking. Me, you and Rod go to that haunted house event this Saturday. It ’s not like we have any gigs-” Rodrick payed no attention to Jeremy’s words. He needed to make a move and quick. He didn’t want you to walk out the cafeteria room without getting even a single look from you.  “Actually, we do have a gig,” Rodrick interrupts, “They want us at some flash mob or whatever to promote how Rock is considered a source of relaxation and can positively impact the lives of teens in this generation.” Hopefully that sounded smart. “What does that even mean?” Al questions. “Who knows and who cares. How much are they willing to pay us?” Ben asks. “Rod? You with us?” Score! He actually got you to listen in on their conversation. Maybe telling that small fib wasn’t such a bad thing after all. “Rodrick! How much mula will they give us?” Al yells as he kicks Rodrick’s chair. 

 “Huh? Oh, they um-they-” Think Rodrick. Think. “Excuse me, I don’t mean to intrude. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop and I was just curious-are you guys going to perform at a flash mob? Like as a band?” Your shy voice breaks Rodrick away from his thoughts. “That’s the plan. Why do you ask?” Jeremy responds. “Well I was just wondering if you could take on another job. You see, my cousin is having a wedding next Saturday and our entertainment for the night bailed out on us. I’d be so grateful if you accepted but if you don’t that’s fine too! Of course i’d pay you good money and- ” “What kind of audience are we playing for? Löded Diper only plays for people who can really understand the colors of our music” Ben states. Suddenly, a bunch of snaps of agreement and praises are heard from his friends “Preach.” “That’s some deep stuff man.” All Rodrick wanted to do was bury himself in a deep hole to rid himself of such an embarrassing situation. Before you could walk out the cafeteria doors he stops you by grabbing your wrist.

  “Look, i’m honestly so sorry you had to deal with that. My band can be kind of sensitive when it comes to our music but we would be glad to play at your cousin’s wedding.” The blush on your cheeks seemed to only get stronger as he spoke to you. He knew you were embarrassed after the little conversation you had with his friends but why would you blush around him? Maybe the temperature was too high for your liking.  “No, no it’s fine. They’re passionate about music and that’s cool. Umm..by any chance does your band happen to play heavy metal? My cousin is what many consider a metalhead.” He smiles wide, “I think your cousin and my band could get along pretty well.” Your eyes light up, “Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me!” Oh dear, he could say the same to you. 

Symptom #5: Your jealousy is not so discreet.

It was the day of your cousin’s wedding and Rodrick couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. You were simply the most beautiful girl in the room, from the sparkle of your doe eyes to the shimmer of your royal blue dress. Once the band finished playing he quickly went looking for you. Rodrick was determined to dance with you at least once tonight. 

“Oh (Y/N), there you are!” he says, “I was wondering, since the band is on break right now..” Her hair is quite pretty styled that way.. “Rodrick are you okay?”   “Huh? Oh-um-i-would you like to dance with me?” Your eyes widen in surprise as you nod, failing to conceal the pink dusting on your cheeks. “I-i’d love to dance with you.” And so you danced, for quite a long time. The band decided to let you and Rodrick have your moment and played their songs without a drummer. Unfortunately, one of the guests-quite a young one might I add-asked you to dance. You being the polite young lady you are, chose not to decline.

What you failed to notice was Rodrick’s envious glare. He detested seeing you in another man’s arms, he needed to break the two of you apart somehow.  “Psst! Little girl, if you do me a favor I’ll give you a dollar.” He whispers. “Make it ten.”  “Five, that’s the highest i’m going.”  “Deal.”  “Go tell that guy over there that you saw a rat and you need some rescuing.”  “But isn’t that lying?”  “Do you want your five bucks or not kid?” He demands. Instantly, the child runs off to the man, tugging onto his tux coat. Rodrick takes the opportunity to reunite with you by kissing the back of your hand.  “May I have one last dance before my band packs up to leave?” He asks sweetly, you giggle in response. “It would be my pleasure.”

  After the band packed up, it was time for Rodrick to go back home, much to your dismay.  “T-thanks again for doing this for me. I really appreciate it.” You say while blushing. Rodrick softly smiles, “It was nothing. We had a lot of fun actually.”  “W-well umm, I was wondering if after tonight, we could maybe..hang out?” Rodrick couldn’t help himself, your cute stuttering and soft blush was too overwhelming for him, so without a second thought he softly kissed your cheek. “Yeah, i’d like that.” 

A/N: I hope this was good enough for you! I feel like there wasn’t enough fluff but I’m trying! If anyone has any other requests ask away :)

[preciousmetals0]

Canopy’s Cash Crash; Cyber Contract; Costco Cleans Up

Canopy’s Cash Crash; Cyber Contract; Costco Cleans Up:

Friday Four Play: The “Roof Is on Fire” Edition

If you had the “riots and looting” square on your Revelations bingo card … today’s your day. Go ahead and cover that square up. It’s been that kind of year, you know.

And if you’re still worried about covering up that “World War III” square … don’t give up hope just yet. President Trump spoke on U.S.-China relations today, taking a hard line against Beijing’s new Hong Kong security law.

Outside of Revelations bingo, the U.S. Commerce Department reported that April consumer spending plummeted 13.6% in April. It was the largest drop since the government started to track consumer spending in 1959.

And finally, President Trump and Twitter Inc. (Nasdaq: TWTR) are locked in an online death match over free speech. I’m honestly surprised neither side has Godwin-ed this debate yet. Give it time, though. This is an internet fight, after all.

My, aren’t we just bursting at the seams with good news today?

Wait … I have some good news just for Great Stuff readers! (And no, it isn’t that I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.)

Even amid all the carnage, Paul Mampilly found a company that he believes is set to soar 300% or more in the coming months. On Tuesday, Paul issued a broadcast covering his simple strategy that has helped him pull these double- and triple-digit winners from the market year in and year out.

(Psst, this is the “300 Event” that I was telling you about!) And it’s not too late to check out Paul’s interview covering this strategy.

Click here to see it before the video is taken offline.

And now for something completely different … here’s your Friday Four Play:

No. 1: Crushed Canopy Leaving Linton

Canopy Growth Corp. (NYSE: CGC) finally ditched its spendthrift past.

The Canadian cannabis company reported a fiscal fourth-quarter loss of C$1.3 billion, or C$3.72 per share. Most of Canopy’s loss came from a C$750 million write-down due to unprofitable spending projects. Those projects were the brainchild (brainchildren?) of former CEO and founder Bruce “Loose with the Loonies” Linton.

And if you think that’s an unfair characterization of Linton, just note that Canopy had negative cash flow of C$1.5 billion last year under his leadership.

The rest of Canopy’s problems, however, arose from falling cannabis demand. In fact, sales of “Cannabis 2.0” products such as softgels, oils and edibles fell 31% in the fourth quarter. It’s not a positive sign — especially when your main customer base is stuck at home with nothing to do but get high.

Given that the last of Linton’s heavy spending is now off the books, Canopy may indeed turn things around going forward. As such, today’s 20% haircut could be a buying opportunity.

Still, before giving it the Great Stuff stamp of approval, I’d like to see sales improve in the Cannabis 2.0 department … and overall.

No. 2: The Cost of Being Clean

We all knew that bulk toilet paper purchases weren’t enough to sustain Costco Wholesale Corp. (Nasdaq: COST) for long — but I think analysts got a little too excited about those prospects.

Costco reported fiscal third-quarter earnings last night and whiffed on both top-line and bottom-line expectations. On the bright side, sales were up 7% year over year. Same-store sales rose 4.8% and online sales spiked 65%.

In the end, however, Costco’s best efforts just weren’t enough to live up to Wall Street’s standards. Earnings came up $0.07 short of expectations, while revenue was $550 million shy of the consensus estimate.

The biggest detractor was a $283 million pretax charge “from incremental wage and sanitation costs related to COVID-19.” Aah, the hidden costs of keeping shoppers and workers safe.

Well, they’re not hidden costs — just unexpected costs. OK, they’re expected costs, just not by the geniuses who guessed what Costco would earn last quarter amid a freaking pandemic.

I have to say: Despite the company missing analysts’ expectations, Costco is among the most stable retailers to invest in as we head into whatever the economy and market throw at us this year.

It’s right up there with Walmart Inc. (NYSE: WMT), Amazon.com Inc. (Nasdaq: AMZN) and The Kroger Co. (NYSE: KR). I also hear that Target Corp. (NYSE: TGT) is on fire right now — too soon?

Editor’s Note: Predicting what stocks will do before earnings is pure speculation. That’s why earnings expert Chad Shoop waits till after the earnings dust settles … and then strikes on his “profit trigger.” Learn how you can too. Click here!

No. 3: GE’s Larry Is Very Scary

Can investors not get this through their heads? Right now, airplanes and airline travel = bad.

This will remain true until a cure or vaccine is available for COVID-19. It’s a fact that General Electric Co. (NYSE: GE) CEO Larry Culp reiterated this week — a reminder that GE shareholders didn’t want.

“GECAS, not surprisingly, is seeing a good bit of pressure here relative to customer deferrals,” Culp said Thursday. GECAS is short for GE Capital Aviation Services, i.e., GE’s aircraft financing arm.

Culp also noted that second-quarter industrial free cash flow would be between negative $3.5 billion and negative $4.5 billion. Finally, write-downs related to the company’s aviation backlog would grow in the same quarter.

This little revelation caused GE stock to drop from Robinhood’s No. 1 most-held stock to No. 2. behind Ford Motor Co. (NYSE: F). Still, No. 2 for a company that relies on the airline industry amid a pandemic?

If you’re invested in GE right now, you probably believe that the COVID-19 situation will get better sooner rather than later. Bully for you. Personally, I’m not that optimistic.

No. 4: Virtual Virus-Fighting

If Costco was among the first household-name stocks people bought for the pandemic, Zscaler Inc. (Nasdaq: ZS) might’ve been one of the last. And if any of you out there have been riding Zscaler’s 142% post-crash Zsurge, let me know … Zseriously.

(What? Adding “Z” to things isn’t hyper radical anymore? Pshh … take me back to ’95.)

Other than sounding like a knockoff shower cleaner, Zscaler just made it to the cybersecurity sector’s VIP back lounge. The golden ticket? A freshly inked Department of Defense contract.

See, most cyber defense stocks are a dime a dozen these days, with a few rare exceptions. The only difference is that, this decade, cybersecurity now has “cloud” in front of it. Ain’t that futuristic!

But the Defense Department’s contract lends some credence to Zscaler’s security chops. It proves the company can hack it at the international level against some serious threats.

At the very least, it was a cheap-enough deal. We’re talking about government contracts, after all.

Throw in some work-from-home magic, and you’ve got a cyber-security champ. Zscaler also reported that revenue shot up 40% to hit $110.5 million — and earnings more than doubled what analysts expected.

With its impressive quarter boosting the stock to all-time highs, ZS investors — whomever they may be — can go into the weekend giddy with glee.

From obscurity to … somewhat less obscurity, Zscaler proved that it isn’t your Norton antivirus, no sir or ma’am. And if you’re still paying out your hard-earned cyber cash on that “virus disguised as antivirus” … let’s talk.

Great Stuff: Solitude Is Bliss

Dear reader, between the time I click “send” and the time you read this…

I hope World War III hasn’t been declared or that the world hasn’t gone up in (more) flames … and that the daytime shoppers haven’t bought all the good toilet paper by the time I get to the store.

We sincerely hope you stay safe and well out there! And do try to have a good weekend — regardless of whatever Twitter battles wage into the wee hours! Take some time to stretch your bones and recharge. We here at Great Stuff certainly will.

And while you’re relaxing, send a message to GreatStuffToday@BanyanHill.com with any comments, questions or random tangents and diatribes. You can always hear more from us on Facebook and Twitter too.

Until next time, stay Great!

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

[goldira01]

Friday Four Play: The “Roof Is on Fire” Edition

If you had the “riots and looting” square on your Revelations bingo card … today’s your day. Go ahead and cover that square up. It’s been that kind of year, you know.

And if you’re still worried about covering up that “World War III” square … don’t give up hope just yet. President Trump spoke on U.S.-China relations today, taking a hard line against Beijing’s new Hong Kong security law.

Outside of Revelations bingo, the U.S. Commerce Department reported that April consumer spending plummeted 13.6% in April. It was the largest drop since the government started to track consumer spending in 1959.

And finally, President Trump and Twitter Inc. (Nasdaq: TWTR) are locked in an online death match over free speech. I’m honestly surprised neither side has Godwin-ed this debate yet. Give it time, though. This is an internet fight, after all.

My, aren’t we just bursting at the seams with good news today?

Wait … I have some good news just for Great Stuff readers! (And no, it isn’t that I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.)

Even amid all the carnage, Paul Mampilly found a company that he believes is set to soar 300% or more in the coming months. On Tuesday, Paul issued a broadcast covering his simple strategy that has helped him pull these double- and triple-digit winners from the market year in and year out.

(Psst, this is the “300 Event” that I was telling you about!) And it’s not too late to check out Paul’s interview covering this strategy.

Click here to see it before the video is taken offline.

And now for something completely different … here’s your Friday Four Play:

No. 1: Crushed Canopy Leaving Linton

Canopy Growth Corp. (NYSE: CGC) finally ditched its spendthrift past.

The Canadian cannabis company reported a fiscal fourth-quarter loss of C$1.3 billion, or C$3.72 per share. Most of Canopy’s loss came from a C$750 million write-down due to unprofitable spending projects. Those projects were the brainchild (brainchildren?) of former CEO and founder Bruce “Loose with the Loonies” Linton.

And if you think that’s an unfair characterization of Linton, just note that Canopy had negative cash flow of C$1.5 billion last year under his leadership.

The rest of Canopy’s problems, however, arose from falling cannabis demand. In fact, sales of “Cannabis 2.0” products such as softgels, oils and edibles fell 31% in the fourth quarter. It’s not a positive sign — especially when your main customer base is stuck at home with nothing to do but get high.

Given that the last of Linton’s heavy spending is now off the books, Canopy may indeed turn things around going forward. As such, today’s 20% haircut could be a buying opportunity.

Still, before giving it the Great Stuff stamp of approval, I’d like to see sales improve in the Cannabis 2.0 department … and overall.

No. 2: The Cost of Being Clean

We all knew that bulk toilet paper purchases weren’t enough to sustain Costco Wholesale Corp. (Nasdaq: COST) for long — but I think analysts got a little too excited about those prospects.

Costco reported fiscal third-quarter earnings last night and whiffed on both top-line and bottom-line expectations. On the bright side, sales were up 7% year over year. Same-store sales rose 4.8% and online sales spiked 65%.

In the end, however, Costco’s best efforts just weren’t enough to live up to Wall Street’s standards. Earnings came up $0.07 short of expectations, while revenue was $550 million shy of the consensus estimate.

The biggest detractor was a $283 million pretax charge “from incremental wage and sanitation costs related to COVID-19.” Aah, the hidden costs of keeping shoppers and workers safe.

Well, they’re not hidden costs — just unexpected costs. OK, they’re expected costs, just not by the geniuses who guessed what Costco would earn last quarter amid a freaking pandemic.

I have to say: Despite the company missing analysts’ expectations, Costco is among the most stable retailers to invest in as we head into whatever the economy and market throw at us this year.

It’s right up there with Walmart Inc. (NYSE: WMT), Amazon.com Inc. (Nasdaq: AMZN) and The Kroger Co. (NYSE: KR). I also hear that Target Corp. (NYSE: TGT) is on fire right now — too soon?

Editor’s Note: Predicting what stocks will do before earnings is pure speculation. That’s why earnings expert Chad Shoop waits till after the earnings dust settles … and then strikes on his “profit trigger.” Learn how you can too. Click here!

No. 3: GE’s Larry Is Very Scary

Can investors not get this through their heads? Right now, airplanes and airline travel = bad.

This will remain true until a cure or vaccine is available for COVID-19. It’s a fact that General Electric Co. (NYSE: GE) CEO Larry Culp reiterated this week — a reminder that GE shareholders didn’t want.

“GECAS, not surprisingly, is seeing a good bit of pressure here relative to customer deferrals,” Culp said Thursday. GECAS is short for GE Capital Aviation Services, i.e., GE’s aircraft financing arm.

Culp also noted that second-quarter industrial free cash flow would be between negative $3.5 billion and negative $4.5 billion. Finally, write-downs related to the company’s aviation backlog would grow in the same quarter.

This little revelation caused GE stock to drop from Robinhood’s No. 1 most-held stock to No. 2. behind Ford Motor Co. (NYSE: F). Still, No. 2 for a company that relies on the airline industry amid a pandemic?

If you’re invested in GE right now, you probably believe that the COVID-19 situation will get better sooner rather than later. Bully for you. Personally, I’m not that optimistic.

No. 4: Virtual Virus-Fighting

If Costco was among the first household-name stocks people bought for the pandemic, Zscaler Inc. (Nasdaq: ZS) might’ve been one of the last. And if any of you out there have been riding Zscaler’s 142% post-crash Zsurge, let me know … Zseriously.

(What? Adding “Z” to things isn’t hyper radical anymore? Pshh … take me back to ’95.)

Other than sounding like a knockoff shower cleaner, Zscaler just made it to the cybersecurity sector’s VIP back lounge. The golden ticket? A freshly inked Department of Defense contract.

See, most cyber defense stocks are a dime a dozen these days, with a few rare exceptions. The only difference is that, this decade, cybersecurity now has “cloud” in front of it. Ain’t that futuristic!

But the Defense Department’s contract lends some credence to Zscaler’s security chops. It proves the company can hack it at the international level against some serious threats.

At the very least, it was a cheap-enough deal. We’re talking about government contracts, after all.

Throw in some work-from-home magic, and you’ve got a cyber-security champ. Zscaler also reported that revenue shot up 40% to hit $110.5 million — and earnings more than doubled what analysts expected.

With its impressive quarter boosting the stock to all-time highs, ZS investors — whomever they may be — can go into the weekend giddy with glee.

From obscurity to … somewhat less obscurity, Zscaler proved that it isn’t your Norton antivirus, no sir or ma’am. And if you’re still paying out your hard-earned cyber cash on that “virus disguised as antivirus” … let’s talk.

Great Stuff: Solitude Is Bliss

Dear reader, between the time I click “send” and the time you read this…

I hope World War III hasn’t been declared or that the world hasn’t gone up in (more) flames … and that the daytime shoppers haven’t bought all the good toilet paper by the time I get to the store.

We sincerely hope you stay safe and well out there! And do try to have a good weekend — regardless of whatever Twitter battles wage into the wee hours! Take some time to stretch your bones and recharge. We here at Great Stuff certainly will.

And while you’re relaxing, send a message to GreatStuffToday@BanyanHill.com with any comments, questions or random tangents and diatribes. You can always hear more from us on Facebook and Twitter too.

Until next time, stay Great!

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff