#( ship ; tarthsoath ) in a world without meaning you give me one to believe in

[storiesofwildfire]

@tarthsoath​ said: "I hope its not presumptuous to offer." There is an awkward stiffness to her back as Brienne offers the bundle of clothing once more. Their travels were long, yes, but she did try to make them comfortable for her companion and of late Loki was tugging and pawing at her dresses. Wincing just so at the title of my lady. Now she may not know much about... other tastes but serving Renley had thought her a few things. There was no shame in it. "Mens clothing. I thought you may be more comfortable."

♔—- Loki had been gifted with many abilities that her brethren did not possess. They never judged her for it, never treated her poorly for it, but they did envy her. None of them would admit it, of course. No one ever wanted to admit to pinning after what they could not have, even those who were not human or... were no longer human. For most of them, they stood above the rest, a superior set of beings that thrived off of what others could not and had more claim to the lands than anyone else.

They did, however, seek to use her gifts. It was why she’d been sent south of the Wall because she was the only one who could. In a way, that still alienated her. They made her feel special, important, perhaps the most important of them all thanks to the gifts that she held over them, but it only served to push her away. After all, she was hundreds, perhaps even thousands of miles away from home, and she had very little in the way of companionship from her home. After a while, it felt like she had no family and she would only be welcomed home if she proved herself useful after running South.

Perhaps that was why Loki felt less and less inclined to return? For years, she roamed and wandered, focused on why she’d left the North in the first place, but as of late, it was easier and easier to find herself... distracted.

One of those distractions happened to be her current traveling companion. Brienne was... lovely, though every time that thought occurred to her, she wondered what she meant by that. Was she lovely to look at? Lovely to spend time with? Lovely to talk to? In truth, it was the entire package. Brienne paid a special sort of attention to her. Their relationship seemed more complicated than it appeared on the surface. To an outsider looking in, Brienne was charged with Loki’s protection and Loki traveled with her for her own good. Loki also had a habit of twitching towards mischievous tendencies, just to keep things interesting. Traveling day in and day out on horseback could be painstakingly boring and Brienne, unfortunately—or fortunately, depending on how one wanted to look at it—was responsible for curbing Loki’s worst impulses and making sure she stayed out of trouble.

Brienne had only ever known Loki as she presented herself now, but the truth was, one of those special abilities that her kind did not typically develop happened to be shapeshifting. She’d taken so many forms since she left the North, she almost forgot what she was supposed to look like, or rather, what she originally looked like.

The more she shifted, though, the more fluid she felt in her own body. Natural and freeing in a way that most things weren’t. She could be whatever she wanted to be and practicing restraint on that was a challenge. After she fell in with Renly and Margaery’s lot, though, she didn’t have the luxury to shift whenever she pleased. Margaery took a special liking to her, one that could have been easily compromised should she reveal her real nature. She hoped, once she got away from Margaery, she’d had a bit more freedom to do as she pleased, but Brienne was almost always within eyeshot.

And traveling...

It became cumbersome in the ridiculous outfits she was expected to wear. Even travel wear designed for women was just so impractical and uncomfortable. She hadn’t noticed the rising irritation, the constant pulling at restricting collars, and the fumbling with frumpy skirts that constantly threatened to have her tripping into the mud and made riding a horse properly a chore in and of itself.

Brienne noticed, though. So much so that as they rode into town to stop for a few days, Brienne wandered off to run “a few errands,” she claimed. Odd, Loki thought. Usually, Loki went with her to pick up food and supplies for their travels. Brienne put value in her needs and her input, so Loki found it odd that she waited in the inn for Brienne’s return.

At least it gave her some time to wash and rest without someone else in her personal space. Not that she actually minded Brienne’s company. In fact, she rather enjoyed it. Even the somewhat annoyed-yet-affectionate sigh that left the woman’s lips when she had to intervene on one of Loki’s schemes. Attentive and concerned, Brienne seemed invested in her, not because of what she could do for her, but because she cared for her. A feeling Loki wasn’t at all used to, but one that she craved and loved all the same.

By the time Brienne came back to their modest room, Loki had a fire going and did her best to dry her hair, which hung around her shoulders in damp tresses. A robe hung around her frame, a gift from Margaery that Loki actually carried with her and used on a regular basis. She just couldn’t stand the thought of pulling one of those tedious dresses back on, not just yet...

So, when Brienne stepped through the door with a bag in hand, Loki glanced up from the fire and smiled. “Glad to see you made it back okay, not that I ever doubted you would.” There was no room for doubt when Brienne was easily one of the most talented warriors she’d ever seen. “Though I have to wonder why you didn’t ask me along. Growing tired of keeping after me? It’s all right, I won’t be offended, I—”

She paused when Brienne murmured something about possibly being presumptuous. Loki’s focus shifted fully to her and the bag that she offered. Men’s clothing, she explained, and Loki blinked in surprise. Brienne might have been observant and wanted to look out for her, but she didn’t expect her to sort out Loki’s issues without ever even speaking on it.

Reaching out, she took the bag in her hands and pulled it open to take a look at the contents inside. Relief flooded her eyes, but only for a moment.

“How... How could you have possibly known?” she asked. “I mean, I never said anything to you about—” Well, it was difficult to explain. Hell, Loki didn’t even understand it herself most of the time. She was what she was and what she was happened to be difficult to define. She could accept that. Explaining it to other people, though? Gods, that was the hard part.

“I have no idea how you sorted this out but thank you. I—I really needed this.”