#( u totally suck noel i cant believe u made it this far but im so proud of us wow is the show rlly already ending... SOB SOB )

[noelxbe]

i 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙯𝙚 now

”when the last becomes the beginning” ...

           he’d reached it, he’d done it, he was here: the finals. he could’ve never guessed the outcome of auditioning for the show, and never through the show had he been certain of anything. it’d been very different the past few months from was it usually was like. noel was a busy man, working five jobs and being a student, but he’d never been as stressed as he was doing this simple little show. he’d originally joined with the intend of learning and have fun, but it was only one of those that had been completed. he most certainly had learned, and not just a bit, a lot. he’d gotten scolded by judges, by coaches, by fellow participants, people had been disappointed to have him in their team. he looks around at his team, were they disappointed too when realizing he was on their team? he still felt like an awful singer, like he had no talent when it came to rap, and he certainly still felt like a bad dancer. he’d put so much time and effort into all of this, but did he deserve it? did he deserve to soon be standing on a stage performing an original song? he was scared, he certainly was. but there was no eliminations this time around, this was final, this was the finale. and what outcome did he even wish for? he’d learned that this was far more difficult than he’d imagined. he hadn’t been dancing for long, would he even deserve to become a trainee yet?

and then it’s now, they get called up on stage, to perform. he waits for his turn to introduce himself, giving a bow before he begins speaking. “hello this is lee noel! over six feet tall and ready to steal your heart” … “ah and! i realized that the ‘L’ i’ve been making seems like i’m implying loser rather than lee… judges,,, this is my apology…” he feels embarrassed before he even begins, showing aegyo isn’t exactly his favourite thing. but he gives them a ‘chuu heart’ his cheeks quickly turning a red tone.

they walk into positions, they’re the first group to perform, and noel feels a bit feared by that. they have to make a strong start, and when team b gets on stage their stage will immediately be compared to team a’s performance. an original song… noel sure hadn’t seen that coming, getting his own song before he was even certain he wanted to be an idol. but truthfully admitted, it was kind of cool, and though he’d been stressed the past time learning the dance and trying his best to make it seem like he owned the song, he couldn’t help but fear that something would go wrong. the song begins, a strong start from the song, and noel tries his best not just focusing on the dance but the facial expressions too. while noel still has yet to feel like the best dancer, rapper or singer, he is at least confident in his presence and facial expressions. his first part in the song is more singing than it’s rapping, he’s been practicing for it like hell this week, hoping to create a strong (and good) impression from the moment he opens his mind.’

“just follow me hoo”

noel is aware of that he’s pretty, though he would’ve preferred a not as strong concept at this, he knows this kind of concept fits him, so he tries his best to show confidence. and though it might be a boring decision, when noel comes around for his lines of repeating ‘lets’ get the party started’ that’s his favourite part. he gets to rap the part twice in the song, and he feels like it’s a great chance to stand in the middle and get some of his dancing shown, after all, dance was the reason he auditioned for this show. 

it finishes quicker than expected, and it feels weird that’s it’s already over, because with this performance over, it means the show is coming to an end too. no more stressing about learning a song so quick, no more constant cameras in his face, it’ll soon be over, and though it’s been hard, perhaps he’ll miss it a bit. instead of the ‘L’ he’s been making for many performances, he creates an ‘L’ with his left hand before putting it together with his right hand and making it into a heart shape, at last, 

he blows a kiss to the cameras. thank you for it all next gen.