#((I wouldn't say it's a constant burden that weighs on her mind. but it does surface occasionally))

[acr3ss-the-cosmos]

What kind of catharsis do you need?

Freedom

You've had the weight of the world on your shoulders, haven't you. It's okay to put the burden down, stretch your legs -- everything won't fall apart if you just take a second to breathe. Go for a late night drive with the windows down and the radio up. Howl at the moon. Break something. You earned it.

Tagged by: @dupliciti ((ty rath!!))

Tagging: @everlastiingiimmortals, @spaced-out-muses, @memovia, and you!

[kuroshika]

[ mizumono, 02×13 - long analysis below the cut. ] || [ @lesbian-hannibal @craqueluring @7x16pm @shatteredlesbian ]

—————

this is the first time (between both hannibal and jack offering any kind of out) that will seems to think it over and allow himself the choice. like will says, there's always a part of him that wants to run away with him, a shadow behind the curtain that reaches for him. hannibal offers to leave now, to disappear from maryland and start over somewhere new, and will wants that. hannibal even says he claims his sins— in saying that he needs jack to know, will claims his own. he plays with hypotheticals — if jack knew, would he forgive him? if jack knew, would he think any less of him? — but at the same time, he rejects them: he never gives a clear cut answer as to if he'd accept jack's forgiveness, because he doesn't know if he would. jack has had a notorious history with using will only when he's useful, but will knows he still holds an affection over him, just like he had miriam. this wouldn't be his first loss to hannibal but it would be one that hit the hardest — because will is choosing hannibal. will can't stand the thought of killing jack — he hesitates, before he says it's necessary — he'd rather jack be dead than live with the weight of will's betrayal.

then will has to weigh the burden of each side, with a cross-cut between hannibal and jack:

will doesn't know what needs to be done, what he needs to do to ensure this works. he's on the fence. he can't give up the life he's built because he's afraid of being unable to begin a new one — but hannibal's reassurance that they can start over in florence are skewing his perception. jack, alana, and his dogs, to hannibal and abigail's memory. the pattern that his mental curtains display or the shadow beyond it, his repression or his becoming. he already leans towards hannibal at the time of his talk with freddie.

he asks her not to write of abigail. she can write about him and hannibal, her murder husbands, the two that got away, but to leave their daughter out of it. off freddie's line — "you really don't know if you're going to survive him, do you?", will has resigned himself to the fact that he can't live with him, or without him. either way, hannibal lecter will be the death of him.

even given all these points, he still hasn't made up his mind — he can't answer freddie's question because he knows he'll survive hannibal if he runs away with him. he can't honor her question without making a finite decision.

and i believe alana's call is what pushes him to make one.

alana, unwittingly, has just destroyed whatever life will had to come back to, if he had given up hannibal. he cannot come back to wolf trap now, to his dogs and his fishing and his delusions of abigail, because he's a wanted man. there is no safety, no comfort to be found here anymore. alana has taken his place from the world. that, i believe, was what pushed him to make his decision.

he's chosen hannibal. his precarious safeguard has been taken and his backup plan shattered — there's nowhere he can go if not with hannibal. hypocritically, he's been betrayed. and alana knows the same, that's why she tries to beat him to hannibal's house.

she does, but she's not ready for that they have planned. as i said in a previous post (this one) hannibal did have a plan to start over. abigail and will were constants in that plan, no matter how much it had changed — they were going to run away from this and leave it all behind. abigail was going to have a place in the world again — maryland had no place for dead girls. she was going to be alive. will was going to be free of the burden of having to shroud himself in normalcy. hannibal would be free to love without fear of loss. and alana was getting in the way of that plan, and abigail was just doing what she'd been told.

then will comes in. finds alana on the sidewalk, surrounded by broken glass, not breathing. she pulls in a ragged breath— and she's alive— and will can't let her die. he still was feelings for her, he still cares, some semblance of compassion in himself for her that pushes him to call for the authorities. and then he takes on hannibal.

abigail is still alive, will is in shock — his family, here, all together in the bloodstained floors of hannibal's home. and hannibal knows he's been betrayed. he's hurt, he's confused, he's scared. he has to honor will. he has to honor his family in the same way he should have honored mischa — they all go to jail when the fbi arrives. there is no place for them here and will has just destroyed their home. hannibal's imago, abigail's father, will's becoming. it's all been ruined.

so they have to die. hannibal cannot lose them. he guts will, holds him while he bleeds. the man he spent so long coaxing out of his curtains has returned— his shattered teacup has come together. they're back at square one.

hannibal tells will that he let him in, let him see. that he loved enough to let him through the walls of his person suit to probe the mind palace beyond and build himself a room — and that will's betrayal has crumbled that room to debris and dust. will is grappling to come to terms with the fact that hannibal bared himself for him without ulterior motive — he did the same in kind, and he tells hannibal so. he did want to see him. he did want to carve a home for himself in the dark excess of hannibal's mind. but he didn't know how to take it.

will has been honored — and hannibal wants to make him hurt the same way will had hurt him. betrayal.

he forgives him. he's allowed will to change him, and tear open the sutures of his heart to make room for himself and abigail. he's leaving hannibal to bleed out.

and abigail pays the price. the price of will's betrayal is betrayal in turn from hannibal — for both will and abigail. they are both meant to die in that kitchen — the way abigail and hannibal were meant to die in the hobbs' kitchen. time has reversed, changes have been made.

abigail will always be her father's child. will is always going to be powerless to save her.

and hannibal tells will that he can make it all go away. he can step back, slip into his stream and die peacefully. hannibal has made sure that their loss was on his own terms — that their death was for their benefit. he made a place for them, even in death.

and he leaves them to their deaths. jack, alana, abigail. will. they all lay in their respective resting places — will with his daughter and abigail with her father; jack, kept in the dark with his wife on the phone; and alana, alone on the pavement in the rain. all respective of the characterization and representation of the show, in their place as dictated by hannibal's story.

[discosonicdude]

FE OC Week - Day 6 - Supports

Alrighty, work and games pushed me back from this, but, hey, let's get on with @fe-oc-week. Now, for the sake of simplicity, I'm mainly going to be covering a rough synopsis of Nick's support ranks with Byleth, Edelgard, and Dimitri, because if I wrote out the entire convos with everyone, we'd be here all week. Without any further ado, let's go.

Byleth (C-A, S rank with Female Byleth)

Due to Nick's immense respect for Byleth, he asks for the former mercenary to give them some special training with swords, so that he has something to fall back on in case his magic is ineffective. Throughout their sessions, Nick opens up to the professor about how he worries how he can make his own way with his family history weighing him down. Come the timeskip's A rank, Nick has matured into either the newly appointed Count or the fallen noble on the run. While not entirely sure if it will help restore his family's history, Nick nonetheless chooses to stand Byleth to the bitter end.

Female Byleth can choose to marry Nick after the end of the war. With him conflicting over what his best course of action is, he does decide to talk with Byleth one last time about how to proceed. She does admit that she wants to support Nick with however he wishes to do so, and gives him the ring that she inherited from Jeralt. Nick cries tears of joy at this notion, not believing he had done anything to earn this, but nonetheless accepts, and promises that he will prove to himself that he is worthy of Byleth's decision.

Edelgard (C-A)

Hoping to relieve some of the burdens that Edelgard faces, Nick invites her to all manner of things during their supports. Tea parties, opera performances, you name it, Nick probably has it on that list. Eventually, Edelgard questions why Nick came up with all of these, with the Umbris heir answering that he wants to help relax ahead of the times to come. While flattered that he would think of such things, Edelgard asks Nick to hold off on such matters until after she has seen her ambitions through.

During their time in the war, Edelgard does ask Nick if there was one thing they could do together, even in the middle of the war. One thing does come to Nick's mind; sharing a dance with her. Having missed his chance in the ball five years ago, Nick felt that that idea would have gone unchecked forever. However, Edelgard allows it and the two dance together in the main hall of Garreg Mach, just as they would have done during the ball.

Dimitri (C-A)

After Nick joins the Blue Lions, Dimitri and Nick often spar together in the training grounds. During one such session, Nick alludes to the fact that he has an ulterior motive for joining the Blue Lions house, and says that he'll tell Dimitri if he wins their next sparring bout. Naturally, Dimitri wins, and Nick reveals that he wants to try and make amends with the Kingdom after his father had House Umbris split ties with them to join the Empire. Dimitri affirms that Nick has already begun on that path, owing to the friendship that the two of them share.

Once Nick has been recruited during Azure Moon, Dimitri apologises to Nick about his actions. With his Crest of the Traitor awakened, Nick asks Dimitri if it is truly alright to stand by him. Understanding the effect of Nick's crest awakening weighs heavily on him, Dimitri says that he still considers Nick an ally through it all and is honoured to have him by his side. Later on, Dimitri asks what Nick intends to do after the war. Nick says that he will put a finish to House Umbris and start afresh elsewhere, saying that the constant cycle of pain and treachery caused by his family must end. Dimitri suggest that Nick could start over in Fhirdiad. Nick appreciates Dimitri's offer, but says that he wants to go somewhere else, as he knows what the end of the war will signify and feels that wouldn't be able to stand his efforts doing so. Dimitri's respects his decision and promises that he will stand by Nick until the end of this and assures him that there will be a place for him in Fhirdiad, should Nick ever change his mind.

Now outside of these three, Nick would be able earn supports with the other Black Eagles, Mercedes, Lorenz, Marianne, Seteth and Hanneman. Perhaps someday, or if anyone is interested, I'll talk more about them.

[whiitemateria]

Not sure how this works, but here goes.

❛ i just thought you’d like some company. ❜  and ❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜ Aerith to Vincent. :)

— ( for the damaged; starters )

Oftentimes when they set camp for the evening, Vincent would disappear.

It wasn't that he was actually disappearing, but rather, he would find the nearest shady place to settle up and keep watch for the evening. Usually, it was a tree with a branch wide enough to carry his burden, though it was a tossup as to whether or not he actually weighed much at all. Aerith for one was convinced he didn't eat enough, that even if immortal, he took care of himself as if he were in a constant state of decline; she wondered if he was testing the limits of this eternity he was bound to.

These thoughts that occupy her are what have her seek him out some nights, carrying a bowl of whatever soup or sandwich they'd managed to cobble together for a night spent beneath the stars and a blanket, because sure, his cape was sort of like a blanket, but it wasn't really one, and she'd sit with him for a time to make sure he ate.

They didn't even have to talk, though she always tried.

Tonight is no different, with him perched up in the tree, though it had been low enough of a branch that she could simply pass off tonight's bowl of food with ease, even for a girl her height, and she had sat herself down at the base of it.

"I just thought you'd like some company," she says, like she always does, "You look so lonely out here, all the time. You could come sit around the fire with us."

Vincent had been drawing circles in his meal with his spoon, not quite looking at the girl, but not ignoring her either.

"I could. But I find it a better use of my time to watch for enemies."

This was to be expected, she thinks.

"Do you mind if I watch with you?" Aerith asks then, tilting her head back enough to watch the way he looks down at her - there's a sort of amusement hidden in his eyes, and she can't quite tell what expression he's wearing, but she gets the feeling that he doesn't think she'll see a single thing with those too-human eyes of hers.

And maybe she wouldn't, but the point wasn't to find someone to fight, it was to make sure he wasn't so alone all the time.

"If it'd please you." He says, with that deep voice of his that was just light enough to imply he actually didn't mind; he had such an emotionless affect, but he knew how to adjust it when he needed to.

"Yeah! It would. We can ... fight bad guys off together, so everyone can get sleep."

There's silence, and then, a low chuckle; when Aerith looks up, Vincent has tipped his face beneath the cover of his cloak and she can tell he's hiding the expression he wears beneath it.

A smile, maybe?

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you smile."

She's not looking at him when he looks at her, one red eye looking out of its corner at a girl who's nonchalantly staring at her bowl of food a bit too hard, like she'd been hoping somehow she'd catch a glimpse of the elusive emotion on the gunner's face.

"Maybe that's because I don't." He wagers, schooling his voice easily into that monotone.

"We'll see about that!"

... She spends the rest of the evening telling bad jokes until she falls asleep, using the very blanket she'd brought to give to him as cover.

He'd insisted she used it, and it made her just a mite too comfy - it always did.