#((not expecting someone of her age to be familiar with that-maybe emily's able to wave it off a little))

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

"I don't think it's silly at all."

It was completely understandable to him, for her to be a touch nervous-even with how confident he felt in their ability to get away with it, there was no denying that it was an incredibly brazen plan. How many people would be so bold as to spend the evening in the company of their secret lovers, right under the nose of so many people, people who would absolutely lose their minds if they knew the truth...

"They do say that sometimes, the best place to hide is in plain sight," Dorian continued, rubbing his chin as he gave it some thought. "And I think that turn of phrase will prove to be very true tonight: As I said, I believe that everyone will mostly be so busy schmoozing and making nice that their eyes will hardly be on us. I'm sure we'll have to come over and shake hands with Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so who will be at the wedding tomorrow, accept the congrats of Mr. and Mrs. What's-the-name, kiss up to the Something-or-others, but I think we can manage that."

As he listened off these imaginary guests, Dorian flashed her a little smile, in the hopes that his playful names would make her laugh, help her relax a little-humor was oftentimes his way of alleviating stress, taking the edge off, and he hoped it would be the same for Emily as he finished confidently, "We'll go around, roll out the proverbial welcome wagon, perhaps answer a few questions here and there, but overall, I'm sure we'll be able to slip away and spend the evening with those we'd most enjoy it with."

[miracul0us-multishipper]

My idea what could happen in Felix

Everything was as he remembered it. No piece of furniture had moved in the last year, not even a new picture decorated the stern grey walls. This house was just like the man it belonged to: cold, serious, stagnant.

Yet, when Felix stepped over the threshold behind his mother, there was a tingle of anticipation in the air that hadn’t been there the last time he had visited.

The Agreste Mansion might look unchanged, but the household it harbored was certainly not. And with all the factors leading up to this day, Felix sensed potential.

Change number one: Aunt Emelie was no longer here. He had not been able to find confirmation on her death, but it was irrelevant anyway. She was out of the picture for now, which meant no more suspicious eyes on him, and no more watchful supervision of his interactions with Adrien. Gabriel Agreste, he knew for sure, did not care about his son in the slightest as long as he was within the confines of his home.

Change Number two: Natalie Sancœur, his other watchdog, had greater things to worry about. Whether it was the mysterious illness that was just too similar to Emilie’s to be a coincidence, or having to hide her scandalous infatuation with her employer, she would not be able to keep track of him if he was careful.

Change number three: Ladybug had been in this house. Two times at least, maybe more often in secret.

Felix could almost see her, as if this soulless mansion had memorized her, as if her mere presence had left traces only he could sense. A red glow of life amidst the mausoleum Agreste called his home. A piece of art in this tasteless temple of wasted potential.

Truly, a goddess in the over-pompous shag of a self-important fool. He couldn’t fault Agreste for never leaving the house: the man should be too ashamed to even look into a mirror. If it hadn’t been for his lack of time, Felix could have come to Paris months ago already. Thanks to him, Felix had wasted precious time pacing around in his home.

“Good afternoon, Uncle.” he greeted the collective disappointment of the fashion world with a smile. “It is a pleasure to meet you again. I hope you have been well.”

It would be too much to hope that he had caught the mysterious illness as well, wouldn’t it?

Gabriel Agreste eyed him with a subtle approval - despite not being related by blood, they were both formal speakers, even with family. Then the old man awarded him with a nod, before moving on to exchange pleasantries with his mother. His usual mistake. He was so far less observant than his wife had been. She had loved Felix, he supposed, the way she would have loved any family member. But oh, she had been clever enough not to trust him. He’d never been alone with Adrien, her sheltered little darling, for more than a few minutes before she would check on them. Manipulating his all too trusting cousin had been impossible, or at least not profitable as long as Emilie had been there to foil his schemes. But she wasn’t here, now.

And Gabriel’s dismissal of Felix was a guarantee that no one would pay any attention if he wanted to spend some time with his dear cousin.

Perfect.

As his mother and Gabriel continued their conversation, he casually wandered to the stairs. Slipping into Adrien’s room used to be a lot harder, the last time. Just as the rest of the house, this room hadn’t changed a bit. The same bed sheets, the same books in the shelves, the same carpets on the floor.

The only difference was his computer. Felix stiffened when he saw that it was turned on and displayed a familiar figure. Ladybug beamed at him from every monitor, radiant even as a mere picture. He came closer.

At home, he’d spent hours rummaging through the Internet and news channels to find pictures of her, to the point where he was positive he had seen every photography there was of her. But he’d never seen this one.

Where did you get this, Adrien?

A scoff escapes him. Of course Adrien would happen to have pictures nobody else had of the red masked idol. He just was that lucky. Had always been. Well, not anymore. Now that Felix was back in Paris, he’d make sure that he, the far more worthy cousin, would receive Ladybug’s favor. For now though, Felix had to have this picture!

He moved to the keyboard to send it to his phone, when a cough let him freeze.

“Felix”, Adrien greeted him coldly. “You are early.”

Oh, right. He had completely forgotten about him.

“Adrien!”, Felix turned around to his cousin, a bright smile on his face. “I convinced Mother to leave a little sooner so we would arrive before nightfall. It’s been so long, hasn’t it?”

Adrien’s sour face relaxed for a moment, before returning to wary.

“Not that long.”

Polite for “not long enough”. He had to get onto Adrien’s good side again if he wanted to succeed.

“It felt like ages to me.”, Felix kept up his cheerful tone. “I’ve been so bored this year. Remember how much fun we used to have?”

Adrien’s eyes narrowed.

“The last time you were here, you tricked me into ruining my fathers designs. He didn’t speak to me for weeks!”

True. Though he hadn’t expected Gabriel to be this vindictive, he’d been bored and Adrien was easy to commandeer around. It had been fun to make him run errands in his father’s atelier, and if he’d convinced him to press a few buttons on Gabriel’s tablet... so what? His uncle was so much more entertaining when he was furious.

“You made it look as if I did it on purpose!”

Felix’ smile wavered.

“I did? I’m sure I warned you that playing with your fathers things had consequences.”

Well, he’d formulated it differently, back then. Maybe he’d phrased it to make Adrien think Gabriel would praise him for sorting his designs. But these details were irrelevant now.

“It’s been so long, I barely remember.”, he chuckled.

After Adrien didn’t budge, he added: “But I’m very sorry if you got in trouble.”

He sighed deeply, thinking of his goal.

“The truth is, I wasn’t always very considerate of you. And I’m really sorry, Adrien.”

His cousins distrust seemed to fade, so he continued.

“You were nothing but welcoming of me, and I was a little... too excited. There’s a lot I should have done differently.”

That much was true.

“I was hoping we could start over,” he offered Adrien the bait, “but I understand if you prefer for me to leave you alone.”

Adrien’s greatest fear: being alone. He would be like clay in his hands now.

“I...”, the older boy started. He was visibly torn between caution and hope, before his need for company took over. “O-Okay. I understand. And... I would like to spend time with you.”

A smile appeared on Adrien’s face.

“Starting over sounds... great!”

He’d taken the bait, just as always. Emilie’s golden boy would never learn.

As he moved to hug his cousin, slipping Adrien’s phone into the sleeve of his shirt was a piece of cake.

-

Oh. Well. He’d thought he had a lot of pictures of Ladybug, but it looked like Adrien had once again beaten him at something. And it wasn’t just the amount of photos, it was their content! Close ups of Ladybug’s face, smiling into the camera or waving at the photographer. Shots of her jumping over the rooftops, from a point of view that should have been impossible to attain. The blurriness of the buildings told him that the camera must have moved at a similar speed as Ladybug, but no News Helicopter should have been able to fly this low or close to her.

“How did you get these?”, he murmured, envy twisting his guts. A gasp escaped him when he reached the last picture of the collection. It was a selfie, and Ladybug was laughing into the camera while playfully shoving the person taking the picture away. Felix couldn’t see the face of the mysterious photographer, but amidst the blurred brawl there was a splotch of familiar blond hair.

He couldn’t believe it.

Adrien, this naive, immature and clueless brat, had taken a selfie with Ladybug on the rooftops of Paris. He was close enough for her to laugh with him, close enough for her to tussle and fool around with on a photo. Everything Felix desired was once again already in his cousins hands. How?!

His mind was racing. He had to change his plans.

Originally, Felix had wanted to use Adrien to get close to the Ladyblogger. The girl obviously had - or knew someone who had - the means to ask Ladybug for an interview. Once he found out how, he would have been able to meet her. To convince her of himself.

But now this was out of discussion. If he wanted Ladybug to pay attention to him, he needed Adrien out of the way.

Without further ado, he opened a closet and pulled out some of Adrien’s clothes. He got changed, ruffled his hair to match his cousin, and carefully peeked out of the bathroom. Adrien was busy on his computer, allowing Felix to check if he had gotten everything right. The hair, the clothes, the shoes... the ring! He wouldn’t manage to steal it without Adrien noticing, but- ...Wait. Since when was Adrien wearing a ring? And why hadn’t he seen it in any Agreste collection?

He felt like there was more to it, but time was precious. Lazily he snipped a piece of soap against the window, causing Adrien to look up and walk towards the other side of the room. A little sneakiness on his part, and he was out of the room.

The adults were in the dining room, talking about things that didn’t interest him in the slightest. He unlocked Adrien’s phone - this idiot hadn’t changed his password in years - and took a selfie with the distracted adults in the background.

“Father isn’t watching - time to sneak out!”, he captioned it, before accidentally sending it to Gabriel’s and Nathalie’s social media.

He didn’t have to wait long. Ducking behind the stairs, he watched as Nathalie looked on her phone, before suddenly rushing up the stairs to check on her protégé. Muffled voices argued on the first floor, before Nathalie closed and locked the door behind her - trapping Adrien in his room.

“Sorry, cousin.”, Felix smirked. “But I can’t afford to have you ruining my chances.”

With that, he happily strolled out of the mansion, ready to conquer Paris - and the heart of its hero.

[lovetnaomi]

Secrets of the Dusk Chapter 7

Chapter 7

                 It was supposed to be an easy assignment, Uraraka ran the pencil behind her ear attempting to half-listen to her groupmate’s theories and half-push back spilling what had actually happened. She couldn’t exactly say that perhaps no one made off with the body and perhaps he was still alive and kicking somewhere. For the most part really. The project was about strategizing and the ability to think outside the box, but it was also odd that they were being given an unsolved murder case to figure out. She tapped the pencil against the desk.

               “You’re usually so focused what’s wrong?”

               She turned to Tsuyu, wishing that the fact that she knew Katsuki was up-and-walking around wouldn’t interfere with her ability to think straight. Her ability to think creatively, at least, so that she could come up with a possible viable conclusion on what happened. Something that masses would understand. Not that the body got up and walked away on its own-wait, did he?

 Or did someone drag him to Todoroki’s first? Did Todoroki have to resurrect him? Uraraka shook her head. There was one absolute consistency in vampire lure. And that was how to become a vampire. Todoroki had nothing to do with it. Also, there was the other fact that they had been discussing. Assuming that the killer had come back to clean up their mess.

               “There’s a couple things. Why only one kill? Typically, such brutal killers consider this a work of art, and artist have the tendency to keep creating. I also feel like we’re assuming that the killer came back to clean up their work, which I don’t think is likely unless they got cold-feet about displaying what they did.”

               Tsuyu let out a soft smile, her eyes likely wondering why she hadn’t chosen such a field for her own major. There were a couple answers to that. One of them being the need for answers would drive her insane. She would keep going. And the world keeps spinning. At the end of the day, there would just be more to solve. She couldn’t burn herself out like that. But the case was unsolved. The killer was still out there. If they saw Katsuki was alive. They would be back to finish the job. Uraraka glanced towards the window, or was it something more? Was it some form of vampire etiquette none of them understood. The person who forced the transition on Katsuki thought they actually killed them and darted? If they saw Katsuki was alive would they try to finish the job to seal the loose ends or would it progress the other way? No. Knowing Katsuki, that person would try to finish the job. There was so much blood. They were trying to drain him dry. That person probably did. How his heart began beating again she would never know. The conclusion to that would be there was a serial killer on the loose that would attempt to drain the next nearest victim dry.

Uraraka flipped the page, her bracelet jangling against the paperwork. Her eyes slid down towards it. There was no reason to worry. Todoroki would more than likely swoop in like a hawk the minute something went wrong.  Uraraka took a breath, but she couldn’t rely on them to save her each time. Uraraka took a breath, writing a couple drabbling’s down into her notebook.

The third of their four-man team turning to her, “What do you have? I’m in a slump. Most killers either become serial killers or leave something behind. But we’re working on the why the body was gone. It’s so hard to determine the motive without the killer.”

Tsuyu turned to them, “Most would decide cold-feet. Like at last second they changed their mind or decided to hide it.”

The third person in the group nodded, their eyes sliding towards Uraraka, “What have you been thinking about?”

“If they had cold-feet and decided to hide what they did, why didn’t they clean up the mess they left behind? I think it wasn’t necessarily the killer that moved the body.”

They nodded at each other. Emily, turned the page, annoyance beginning to glow in her eyes, sliding her phone closer to her before setting it down again. It was likely both the fact that they were struggling with a hard angle in which Uraraka found herself guilty for knowing the answers to but having to withhold them because they couldn’t present such a conclusion in class and that Emily’s boyfriend was the other member of the group. And they were not only late, but no message and they weren’t replying either. “He said he was free at this time. And we went around her schedule too.” Emily flushed, glancing down at the table, “Sorry, I’m just a bit embarrassed. I suggested he join our group and now he’s not here.”

Uraraka waved her hands, “It’s fine. Maybe, she got held up in traffic or is having a hard time parking.”

Emily glanced towards the clock, nearly eleven-thirty…..in the night. Uraraka knew exactly what she was thinking. Those were all unreliable excuses. There was no traffic at such an hour and the campus was practically deserted. Emily slid her supplies into her bag, “If either of you have any time after this, that’d be great. I’m sorry about….ya know.”

“It’s fine. Sometimes somethings happen. I hope Jasper’s okay.” Tsuyu stated as Emily nodded before heading out. They waved bye to Emily before beginning to pack their own things.

Uraraka took a breath, “What if the answer to what happened to him is something that we can’t explain in class? Like something no one would quite be able to understand?”

Tsuyu glanced towards her, shaking her head, “No matter what we come up with it’s going to sound ridiculous. We just have to figure out how to back it up so that it’s believable.”

“How about we just arrest the killer and bring them in for show-and-tell.”

Tsuyu laughed, shaking her head at her, “Don’t do anything crazy now.”

“Do you think we’ll get extra credit if we bring the killer in?”

Tsuyu shook her head, glancing towards Uraraka’s pathway back, “Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you back? I don’t see Todoroki’s car today.”

Uraraka shook her head. In the darkness of the night, the offer was super tempting, but there was no way she was going to let Tsuyu walk her all the way home than wandering her way around the demon-infested woods that was the borderline Todoroki’s territory. She would be up all night with nightmares unsure if Tsuyu had made it home.  

“It’s fine, I’ve got my pepper spray. I’ll be alright.” Lies. She knew what she wanted. The woods that had begun providing her comfort in the recent days were ushering an atmosphere that made her want to check over her shoulder every two minutes. And the powers that Natsuo had spoke of were being suppressed by the necklace that was also keeping demons and other creatures from wanting to eat her.

So, she had a choice to make. Powers and becoming dinner or barely hidden behind a thin piece of metal. Right now, it was not being dinner. She secretly wanted Tsuyu to walk her home. In the past couple of days, she had grown comfortable with Todoroki being by her side. But there was something chilling about him not being here at the current moment. She waved bye to Tsuyu doing her best to put on a smile. A smile and presence of reassurance. In the last couple of days, she also found herself becoming a progressively better actor. She could do this. She could figure out how to survive in both worlds. Uraraka glanced towards the stars, if their home led them to discover Katsuki’s killer what would she do with that information?

Uraraka sighed, glancing towards the sidewalk. It would result in them on a major avoid list or having to fight for her life. If Katsuki couldn’t survive with how built he was then currently she didn’t expect to manage to put up a fight. Especially against someone who was a supernatural creature. Wait-what if the killer was human? Uraraka glanced towards the sidewalk, what if the killer was human and then a vampire came along afterward pitying Katsuki because of his age and with little hope attempted to resurrect him, walked away before that happened because of being long gone by the time they attempted something, and Katsuki then woke up confused thinking that a vampire killed him? Uraraka shook her head, realizing something, a crucial detail that would enhance her investigation. She had never asked Katsuki himself.

The gruesome scene circled in her head, there were so many details. But mostly the sheer amount of blood was the distraction. The fact that there was so much had pulled her attention away from the more crucial details of the scenery. The familiarity, it had been playing over and over in her own head for days on end becoming clearer and clearer each day. Uraraka felt her eyes slide down towards an alleyway that she must’ve stayed in before Todoroki found her. The faint rustic color of what could’ve been mistaken as rust coloring the edges of the alley. The fading color splattered about. The alleyway both beckoned and scared her. The world tilted, Uraraka felt anger rush over her heart, the need to run into the alleyway whirlpooling around in her head as she felt the anger pump in her veins. Suddenly being thrown back, feeling as though her neck was snapping. Uraraka took a breath. Lowering herself to the sidewalk. She hadn’t moved an inch. She couldn’t make herself follow such an impulse. Not into an alley with that feeling. Not into that alley. There was no mistaking it. This is where Katsuki had been murdered. And that event was clinging dearly to the alleyway. Begging someone to unravel it.

Metal clanked as Uraraka glanced towards the emergency stairwell, one of the residents dragging out their cigarette, “Hey, girl, you okay?”

Uraraka nodded, “Sorry, I-I just didn’t feel good suddenly.”

“Happens a lot around here. I’d move if I could, but hey, at least rent’s cheap.”  

Uraraka nodded again, attempting to wave good-bye as they kept talking. She sent a soft smile before heading further towards Todoroki’s house. Without a companion, the trip was feeling as though it was taking forever. She knew she hadn’t gotten lost. That wasn’t possible. She knew how to get there; Todoroki had walked her there a bazillion times so far. She knew the way. She had gotten there on her own the first time. Faint footsteps echoed behind her. Uraraka swallowed, the feeling of someone grabbing her by the neck in the alleyway still resilient in her mind, picking up her pace as her hand slid to the pouch where she knew she didn’t pack the pepper spray that morning. Uraraka took a breath. She could handle them. They didn’t look too tough. And they probably underestimated her if they were already following her without a second thought. If she could just round the corner and throw a good right hook, then she’d make a run for it. Startle them then escape. Uraraka took a breath quickening her paces the paces following her beginning to match. She took a breath, running for it, the person’s footfalls not bothering to hide that they were following her anymore and already attempting to catch up to her. Uraraka spun, their shadow approaching. Just at the right moment, she threw the punch, Katsuki pushing her hand away barely dodging, a wild smile painted on his face.

“That surprised to see me?”

A mixture of embarrassment and anger mixed through her chest, “Why didn’t you call out to me?”

Katsuki shrugged, glancing towards the alleyway, “Figured you were having one of your psychic attacks and wasn’t sure if it’d be a good time. After that, I did call out, but you didn’t hear me.”

Uraraka nodded. That alley was where he had been murdered. She couldn’t really hold his struggle to call out to her against him. She attempted to keep her hand from moving to her neck to itch it….anything to remove the feeling of someone having their hands around her throat, being dragged to the wall and fighting for her life, anything to remove the brutal feeling of the way Katsuki was murdered. It hurt so much. He made it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. But he was angry. He was desperate to win. Like anyone would be. And he had lost the only thing that could be considered purely his own no matter what anyone else said. Uraraka took a breath, trying to steady the dizzying feeling spinning in her head, begging her to get out of the funhouse and take some Tylenol,  “Was that-? Where you?”

Katsuki glanced over his shoulder, his voice given off a slight grumble, “Yeah. I go back there every so often to see if the bastard that made me this way is going to show their face.”

“Are the person who murdered you and the person who made you a vampire the same person?”

Katsuki’s red eyes flashed through the darkness, “Huh? Of course, they are. There’s no way a regular person would’ve been able to take me. Not even as a human.”

She let a slight smile slip, the amount of self-pride that bubbled within him was something to admire. She wondered if she could cultivate and sell it. The fast pace of heels clopped down the sidewalk. Uraraka glanced over her shoulder, seeing Tsuyu, covered in sweat and worry on her face.

“I couldn’t just leave you. I’m sorry. And then I heard you scream, I’m-“ Tsuyu’s eyes slid over towards Katsuki. “He’s alive?”

Uraraka felt her heartbeat increase a few notches. The confusion on Tsuyu’s face as she attempted to connect the dots becoming more and more prominent by the second. Her eyes slid towards Katsuki who glared towards her, “I’m as dead as they come.”

“Don’t lie to her. You’re not. You still are capable of moving yourself. You’ve been undead for a while now.”

Uraraka glanced over her shoulder, Todoroki standing a few sidewalk panels down the street, “Sorry about not being there. Katsuki said he’d go since it’s the new moon tonight.”

“It’s alright.” Her eyes slid back towards Tsuyu, what wasn’t alright was the fact that she felt like a liar to her best friend. That she hadn’t confided anything in Tsuyu. And that she was likely about to find out about way more than she wanted her to know. How was she supposed to keep her safe? Tsuyu meant it when she wanted to go into the criminal justice field. It wasn’t a fling or because it was a decent job choice. It was her passion. And Uraraka felt like a criminal hiding evidence.

Tsuyu slid a knife out of her pocket, “Uraraka, get away from them.”  

[thehowtostuff-blog]

Holidays, get-togethers, reunions, and other family get-togethers can be a source of great joy (and great stress). They can be especially tough for autistics, who may deal with social confusion, sensory overload, high demands, and other stressors. Here is how to make your get-together more inclusive, relaxed, and fun for your autistic relative(s).

EditSteps

EditPreparing the Environment

A casual, relaxed environment is likely to be calmer for everyone, and reduce stress on the autistic person.

Set up different rooms to focus on different activities. This allows guests to go from one room to another, based on what they want to do. You might put the toys in one room for the kids, food in one room for eating and socializing, a large group of chairs in another, and some puzzles/quiet activities and a few chairs in a side room for people to take breaks if needed.

This will help the autistic person "escape" for a while if they become tired or overwhelmed.[1]

Keep the noise level down. Loud noise is overwhelming for most people, especially autistics. If you have to raise your voice to speak, it's too loud.

Keep the TV off, or very quiet. Turning on closed captions and keeping the volume low helps.

Set aside an area for any children to do noisy play, such as outdoors or in the basement. If they're getting loud, ask them to choose between quieting down or going outside.

Music should be quiet and relaxing, or nonexistent. (Try involving the autistic person in the playlist selection, so they can pick something familiar and calming.)

Ensure that mealtime seating is flexible. An autistic person may feel more comfortable sitting in a corner, sitting next to a trusted family member, sitting at a side table, or sitting in a quieter space. Let there be options.

Leave plates of appetizers sitting out so that people can grab some whenever they'd like.

Let people take food into other rooms, if possible.

Let people eat at different times if desired. This can be more relaxing than cramming everyone at one table.

EditPreparing for Different Needs

Check in with regards to the menu. Some autistic people have dietary needs that could influence what they can and can't eat. Ask the person (or their parent/guardian) if the menu you're planning sounds about right.[2] There should be at least one thing they know they are able to eat.

Put spices on the side. This way, people can choose between no spice, some spice, or a lot of it.

Buffets, such as build-your-own sandwich, can fit a variety of eaters.

Some autistic people prefer simple foods, like plain macaroni and cheese, cheese pizza, crackers, pudding, and other "kid food."

Encourage the person to get needed and wanted accommodations. Whatever helps keep them calm and happy will be beneficial to everyone. This could include:

Wearing headphones

Wearing a hoodie and putting up the hood

Wearing comfortable clothes instead of fancy clothes[3]

Bringing familiar activities, comfort objects, or toys

Allow a shorter stay. Long social gatherings can be tough, and it's okay if the person needs to leave early, or take long breaks. Reassure the autistic person and their family that some or all of the family can leave early if needed and that there will be no hurt feelings.

For an overnight trip, the autistic person may benefit from staying at a quiet hotel, where they can relax with only immediate family or on their own.

Talk with the autistic person about what to expect (if applicable). Improvising in a social situation can be tricky, so it helps for the autistic person to rehearse and plan for an unexpected or difficult situation. Younger or higher-support autistics can benefit from social stories and extra prep.

"If you get overwhelmed, you can go to Grandma's bedroom, where it will be quiet. There are some papers and colored pencils so you can draw there if you want."

"Uncle Mort really likes hugs. If you don't want a hug, you can say 'I would prefer a handshake, please.'"

"People will give gifts. Say 'Thank you,' even if you don't like it. If you don't like it, keep that secret, until we are back at home where you can tell me."

Prep the autistic person for any rude family members, if needed. Dealing with impolite or nasty relatives is hard for everyone, but especially an autistic person, who may have fewer social skills and may make an easy target for mean comments.

"Aunt Jenny criticizes people because it makes her feel better about herself. It's not fair, and it's not right. It's just what she does. So if she says anything about you, remember that she's just saying it because she doesn't know better."

"I know Grandpa is mean sometimes. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything to deserve it."

"Sometimes Uncle Roberto says mean things when he's stressed. It can especially be hard for his daughter Ana. If he gets angry, you can leave the room by yourself, or invite Ana to go do a puzzle with you."

EditCreating a Relaxed Atmosphere

Talk to other family members as needed. Explain that the person's needs might be a little different and that they aren't trying to be "difficult" or "naughty." They're just autistic.

"Emily gets upset easily. It's not on purpose, it's because holidays can be stressful, especially for autistic people. If you think she might need a break, encourage her to go outside for a short walk, or tell me so I can help her."

"Kids, you may notice that Alex moves a little differently, and he doesn't talk much. Everyone is different, and that's okay. Alex really likes to play dinosaurs. Maybe you'd like to play dinosaurs with him?"

"Dad, I know you think LeBron acts weird, and you don't like that he doesn't make eye contact. That's normal and healthy for autism. I need you to be kind and supportive towards him so that I can feel good about having him come visit you."

Make hugs and kisses optional. Depending on their sensory needs and mood, the autistic person may not want to be touched. During hellos and goodbyes, say that if someone doesn't want hugs or kisses, they could do a handshake, high five, or just wave instead.

Encourage other relatives to go along with it. Explain that you're trying to teach the kids and/or the autistic person that they get to choose who touches them on their own terms.

Be flexible with everyone. Different people have different needs, autistic or not. Be willing to make adjustments so that everyone can be comfortable and have the most amount of fun they can.

Allow small group and one-on-one discussions to break off. Socializing in smaller groups can be less stressful for autistics (along with introverts and shy people).[4] Let it move organically and allow people to separate from the main group as needed.

Step in if you notice things getting heated. Conflict is stressful for everyone. Autistic people especially can find it distressing, and may not have the social skills to de-escalate it or take care of themselves.

Remind others not to raise their voices.[5]

Try changing the subject.[6]

EditSupporting the Person

Keep conversations relaxed with the autistic person. If you chat with the autistic person, try asking about their interests. Talking with an autistic person isn't incredibly different from talking to a non-autistic person.

Expect different body language, like fidgeting and lack of eye contact. This is normal.

Keep it age-appropriate. A nonspeaking 12-year-old is still a 12-year-old and is unlikely to appreciate baby talk.

Don't be scared! Autistic people are still people.

Accept unusual behavior. It's natural for autistic people to be a little odd, and it doesn't have to be a big deal. For autistics, natural behavior includes:

Not making eye contact

Fidgeting and wiggling

Being quite honest (sometimes a little too honest)

Taking things literally

Struggling to deal with frustration, and needing more breaks

Respect boundaries. The person may not be up for talking, hugging, kissing, et cetera, depending on their mood and individual needs. Don't push them. Let them do what keeps them comfortable.[7]

Check in if the person looks stressed. It's helpful to ask how they're doing from time to time, and offer an escape if they look overwhelmed. Reassuring them that they can take a break makes it easier on them.

"Want to go take a break in my bedroom? There are some coloring books in there you could color in."

"Would you like to come with me in the car to go pick up the pizzas? It would be just you and me."

"Angie, you look overwhelmed. Let's go for a short walk and smell the fresh air, just you and me."

Let them enjoy the gathering in their own way. Maybe it means sitting under tables, rocking back and forth, or eating crackers instead of the fancy food you arranged. That's okay. What's most important is that everyone has fun.

EditTips

If the person has major dietary restrictions, they or their family could bring suitable food if that makes it easier.

Encourage people to respect the autistic person's right to privacy. Publicly discussing the autistic person's issues is embarrassing (even if the autistic person can't or doesn't say so). If people start talking about their intimate personal details, say "Let's respect ____'s privacy" and change the subject.

For gift-giving, try asking the person's family what they like, or having the person list some ideas. Knowing the person's special interests, and popular gifts for autistics,[8] helps.

If young children will be around, place dangerous or breakable items out of reach.

EditWarnings

Don't push a distressed autistic person even harder. This will likely just lead to a meltdown or shutdown.

Now is a bad time to over-challenge the autistic person because the environment itself is likely going to be challenging. Avoid criticizing, over-correcting, pushing too hard, and trying to make the person handle even more (such as entering an overwhelming social situation, or trying a new food they didn't say they wanted to try).

EditRelated wikiHows

Make a Calming Down Corner

Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic

Plan and Organize a Family Reunion

Relate to an Autistic Person

Interpret Autistic Body Language

Avoid Drama at Family Gatherings

Calm an Autistic Child

EditSources and Citations

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from How to of the Day https://ift.tt/2HKHzNk