#(I need to make the first one reusable and fire it on closing Campfire)

[transienturl]

Goal: Use Apple Shortcuts to send a notification when Pokemon Go has not been opened in the past hour (i.e. a 1 hour trailing debounce), and there thus may be new raids that have spawned. Do not use any external apps.

Method: Make a new iOS focus type that doesn't do anything. Add an automation that calculates the target time and turns it on until that time, triggered on app close. Add another automation that notifies the user, triggered on that focus ending.

Observation: Apple Shortcuts does not have an AND; if you want multiple conditions you must nest IF blocks.

Conclusion: This is the worst development platform in the world.

[zakszombieblog]

Top 10 WORST Weapons for the Zombie Apocalypse

I don’t think we’ve discussed this yet, so let’s get to it!

In the event of a zombie apocalypse, picking the right weapon is crucial. Pick the wrong weapon and you’re going to die. Unlike a lot of my other bits and pieces of advice, this applies mostly to the zombie apocalypse, since there aren’t many other emergency scenarios that require killing people. If you’re in one such scenario though, I’m terribly sorry for your circumstances.

There are a few things to keep in mind when selecting a weapon: efficiency, practicality, energy cost, other uses, and so on. You want a weapon you can use quickly and easily to kill zombies, one you can come across if your old one gets lost, something that won’t tire you out, and preferably, something that has multiple uses. These weapons do not meet these requirements, and thus should be avoided if possible.

10) Debris

You’re cornered by zombies and all you have is a lead pipe. For the moment, this is a great weapon: quick to use and sufficient enough to kill zombies. For everyday use, not so much. A lead pipe and other debris you may find can work in a pinch, but you’re going to want something a bit easier to wield. Until you find an axe though, a led pipe, beam of wood, or broken bit of iron hand-railing will work just fine.

9) Anything old and rusty

As time goes on, things tend to wear down. If not properly maintained, what would be a great weapon can become dull and even brittle. Additionally, if exposed to the elements, the weapon can become rusty. Dull, rusty, old things are not as efficient at killing zombies as a shiny new version. Additionally, they can be hazardous for you. If you get cut by that rusty pipe you picked up, you could contract tetanus. If you escape that, you still have an open wound where all the bacteria in the zombie blood, on the old weapon, and already on your skin can crawl in and destroy you. You could use these old rusty things in booby traps, but not much else. Not worth the risk.

8) Machine Gun

When most people think of a weapon to bring in a zombie apocalypse, they immediately think of bringing a gun of some sorts. Bringing a gun is a good idea since you can kill enemies at a distance, usually with one shot. The drawback is that guns are loud and amo is going to run out eventually, unless you know how to make bullets and have access to the equipment and materials needed. So what better than a gun that is loud and sprays a thousand bullets with one tap of the trigger? A machine gun might seem like a good idea at first, but it’s going to eat through your bullets pretty quickly. Ideally, your gun should only need one shot to kill. Your machine gun is just gonna spray all your bullets at once. Congrats, you killed one zombie and chopped the legs off another, but you’re out of amo and it’s still coming at you. Additionally, a machine gun has no secondary uses. Unless you need to unleash a spray into a horde, stick with a handgun or rifle.

7) Kitchen Knives

You’re still home and it’s the early days of the apocalypse. You don’t have a gun, the axe is in the shed, it’s not safe to go outside, and you think you hear something in the other room. In this situation, a kitchen knife works but is not ideal. Most kitchen knives are designed to prepare food that is already dead, and so they’re going to have more difficulty going through skull than a hunting or Bowie knife. If it’s all you have, it should work, but pick a cleaver, chef’s knife, or any other knife designed to cut through bones and meat. On the plus side, kitchen knives are not tiring to use if they are sharpened and well-maintained, and can be used to prepare food (though I don’t know how I feel about preparing a roast with something that once had zombie blood on it).

6) Sledgehammer

Sledgehammers are enormous hammers with a powerful punch. Not only can they crush zombies with one swing, but they can also break down walls if you find yourself in a situation where that is necessary. However, unless you have enormous muscles and cardio for days, you are going to get tired after a few swings. If you only have two or three zombies to worry about, you should be fine. If there’s twenty, ten, or even five and you’re not the strongest person you know, you’re going to have a problem. At that point, it’s best to use the energy you would have spent swinging to put as much distance between you and them as possible.

5) Rocket Launcher

At first, a rocket launcher seems like a great weapon to obliterate an oncoming horde in seconds. However, the blast is going to damage everything within range, meaning potential supplies have just gone up in smoke. Additionally, the blast is loud and will attract even more zombies. Any zombies not killed by the blast or flying debris are probably on fire now. On top of all that, a rocket launcher is hard to come by, and refills of amo are probably even harder to find. Unless you live near an active military base that leaves its weapons unguarded when the entire country is being overrun by a tireless threat, you’re probably not even going to come across one. Just looking at them, they are probably heavy and difficult to use if you haven’t had any training. If this is your first pick for a weapon, then you are screwed.

4) Medieval Weaponry

Crossbows, bows and arrows, flails, and swords sound like great zombie-killing weapons at first. If you know how to use them, they are. However, the vast majority of us have little to no training in how to use these weapons. If you can, great! Swords and flails are reusable, and crossbows and regular bows allow you to take down targets silently from a safe distance. If you don’t, skip these. The apocalypse is not the place to learn how to use your ideal weapon. Crossbows are difficult to use, and bolts are probably difficult to find unless you can make them yourself (bolts are the crossbow’s amo, bet you thought they were called arrows); additionally, a careless misplace of your hands can result in the loss of fingers. Bows are also difficult to use, and arrows difficult to find unless you can make them yourself. Flails are good because they require one hit to kill, but if you’re not trained in how to use one, you’re just going to kill yourself and become an easy meal. Swords are great because they’re reusable, but there’s more to using them than just swinging them around. If you don’t know how to use a sword, you could drop it, break it, or even hurt yourself. Unless you have prior training in these weapons, leave the Medieval section of the museum you were wanting to raid alone.

3) Prop Weapons

I shouldn’t have to say this, but I think it should be made clear: props are horrible weapons. A prop sword might be sharp, but it’s designed to sit there and look pretty, not kill. Unlike other terrible weapon choices on this list, you shouldn’t even use these if you’re backed into a corner. If you’re backed into a corner, kitchen knives and sledgehammers are useable; if you try to use a prop sword to kill a zombie, you might do more harm to yourself. The prop could break or become stuck in the zombie. This makes it a zombie with a sharp edge. The best course of action would be trying to use a chair, desk lamp, or heavy knick-knack to bludgeon the zombies before you got to the corner. If you have no other choice, try to escape through a window and look for something better, like a lead pipe.

2) Chainsaw

In video games, it’s fun to play as a the chainsaw-wielding badass who can cut through five zombies at a time with no effort. In practice, this is a horrible idea. Anyone who has as much enthusiasm about the zombie apocalypse as I do can tell you a chainsaw is one of the worst weapons for the zombie apocalypse. First of all, they are loud. If you only want to kill one zombie, any others in the area are going to show up before the first zombie has hit the ground. Second, they often require fuel to operate. Usually, this fuel is better suited for your vehicle or some of your other equipment. Third, they require you to be up close and personal with the zombies, which is already not ideal. Fourth, they tend to spray whatever they’re cutting everywhere; if it’s a tree you’re cutting, best have some goggles, but if it’s a zombie, best be wearing a hazmat suit because for all we know the virus can be transferred through blood. And fifth, they can be tiring to use, unless they are the lightweight variety. This isn’t even taking into consideration the threat it poses it you if you don’t maintain it properly. Save the chainsaw for the video games.

So what can be worse than what is thought to be the worst zombie killing weapon of all time?

1) Flame Thrower

Zombie Apocalypse 101: How do you kill a zombie? If you answered ‘aim for the head’, you are correct. This can be done with a blunt instrument or something sharp that can penetrate the skull. A flame thrower can do neither of these. All they do is set the zombie on fire. Unless you beat the corpse with the canister - which is a terrible idea by the way - you are not causing any blunt force trauma. As a result, now the zombie is on fire and that’s it. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you can slow it down. More than likely, it’s got a few more miles in it, and it’s going to spend those miles burning down your shelter. Not only that, but it has few other uses. Yeah you can clear your driveway in the wintertime with ease, but if you try setting a campfire up, you might cause more damage than anything else. Additionally, the flame thrower was invented to intimidate enemies, not even cause damage! A flame thrower is the worst weapon to use in the zombie apocalypse because it’s the only weapon that makes the zombies stronger. Use it and you’re dead.

Were there any terrible weapons I missed? Do you think any of these terrible weapons are actually great? What’s your number one pick for worst weapon and why? Let me know, and choose your weapon wisely, survivors! Good luck!