#(Remember when you didn't hold back for years on reblogging informative posts???)

[reikiss]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐋&𝐃𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒

tags : fluff!!! gn reader. est relationship. 1.2k words. a/n : ik v-day is over but i just have to post one just bcs !!! this is sooo late bcs school is a pain in the ass. reblogs are highly encouraged and very much appreciated! <3

𝐗𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑 ‧₊˚ ✩ ₊˚ ⊹ ♡ 

"Hey, did you know it's Valentine's Day today?"

"What?"

"Wait, don't tell me you don't know what that is." You teased him, not really expecting that he might not know. Yet he looks down, looking a little shy.

Wait, is this for real? He actually doesn't know??

You cleared your throat to mask your giggle. "Well, for your information, it's a special day to spend with loved ones and friends."

You leave out the part where it's focused on lovers, thinking you might sound like you're hinting something. Little did you know he actually knew what today was and found it quite cute how you brought it up.

"Ahh right." He says as if he finally remembered. He tries his best to refrain from grinning so much and showing his intentions.

"Then..." he trailed off, slowly meeting your eyes as you looked at him.

"Shall we go out later?"

The first time you saw him, you already knew that you would inevitably fall for this precious man, and when he speaks so softly and genuinely while holding such warmth and fondness in his eyes while looking at you, you can't help but get weak in the knees and fall for him all over again (as if you don't already do everyday). "S-sure. I'm looking forward to it."

He blessed your eyes with such a gorgeous smile. "Great. Where do you want to go?"

You end up dropping by the plaza where countless stalls are set up, a variety of foods and gifts being sold. You both ate snacks and took pictures, enjoying every second of the time spent together.

As it was getting late, you both decided to call it a day, but not before Xavier got back as he wanted to check out something. You were surprised that he came back with a bouquet in his hands.

"I told the old man I chatted with earlier while I was going around that I would come back and buy some flowers from him. He said I should give it to someone I consider dearest to me."

He slowly hands it to you, a warm smile on his lips. "Thank you for today, I had such a great time. I hope you enjoyed as much as I did, and I hope you'll accompany me to celebrate this day every year."

𝐙𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄 ‧₊˚ ✩ ₊˚ ⊹ ♡ 

You find yourself in front of Dr. Zayne's office after you intentionally scheduled an appointment with him on February 14. Although he might be busy, you were planning to ask him out today if ever that he was free.

You take in a deep breath. After knocking, you hear him respond with a "Come in."

After everything has been settled and finding that you're as healthy as you can be, you immediately started another conversation. "What are your plans today?"

He looks at you and his face is normal as usual, though you thought you saw a glimpse of surprise on his face for a split second. "Not much, just some paperwork left and I'm done for the day. Why'd you ask?"

Right. Of course he had things to do. "Nothing, just curious."

"What about you? Do you have plans left for today?"

"Nope. I'll just be heading home."

"If you're not in a rush to head home and call it a day, would you care to wait for a few more minutes and go out with me afterwards?"

You were taken aback by how straightforward he is that you embarassingly choke on nothing.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing, I'm fine really." You speak after putting back enough air in your lungs. "Sure, I'll be waiting here. Take your time."

He smiles at you before facing the computer and focusing while you sit there scrolling on your phone. (little did you know deep down he's happy that his plan was a success as he actually already made up his mind that he would spend today with you)

It didn't take long before he was finished. It's as if he unlocked 100% of his brain power.

You end up walking in the plaza, buying food and playing games. Of course, Zayne always lets you win whether he plans it or not. He didn't really mind losing to you. How could he when he couldn't help but stare at you that he loses focus?

It was starting to get dark while you were taking a stroll. There was a comforting silence surrounding the both of you before Zayne broke it. "Look, they're your favorite, aren't they?" He points at a stall selling flowers and the ones you love were right at the front. He buys them and hands the bouquet to you.

"What for? You didn't have to." Yet you gave a smile, appreciating the gesture.

"I wanted to buy them for you. They really do suit you. Think of it as my thanks for spending the day with me... and as an invitation celebrate again next year with me."

𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐋 ‧₊˚ ✩ ₊˚ ⊹ ♡ 

You went inside Rafayel's residence, having been called by him.

"Ah! There you are, bodyguard-san." He welcomes you as soon as he sees you let yourself in.

"So, why'd you call me over in the middle of work? Good thing I don't have a mission today."

"Well, besides the fact that I just wanted to see you, I want you to accompany me to the plaza later."

Your ears perked up at his words, but you were unsure as to what was the meaning behind his invitation.

Is this it? Is he asking me out? Or did he just have some business to tend to there?

"What for? There's gonna be a pretty big crowd there later."

He cleared his throat before answering. "I'm just curious as to what's all the ruckus about since Thomas mentioned there'd be some kind of celebration today."

"Ahh it's probably because it's Valentine's Day."

"And what are we celebrating?"

"Well..." you pause, thinking of a simple way to explain. "It's a day of giving love and spending time with loved ones." but it's mostly celebrated by couples. You leave out that part, not knowing why it felt embarrassing to highlight that detail.

"I see. You humans and your celebrations, I'll never understand."

You chuckle at his dramatics, "and why is that?"

"Shouldn't every day should be a day spent with loved ones anyways? Don't you think so?" he said in a as-a-matter-of-fact way before sighing. "I would spend everyday like that, unlike some people."

You roll your eyes but smile anyways at your adorable and clingy boyfriend.

"To commemorate your traditions, why don't we just start now and spend the entire day together?"

And that's exactly what you did. You started out by hanging at his place, attempting to draw a portrait of one another. Of course he nails his art, but yours ended up more of an abstract rather than a portrait. When afternoon came, you two dropped by the plaza and tried almost all of the food.

By the end of the day, walks you home. Standing outside your apartment complex, he pulls out flowers from his coat and hands them to you.

Smiling, you take them from him. "They're lovely, thank you."

"I'm glad you like them." He shows you his killer smile. "Today is dedicated to spending time with people who're important to us, but let's try to spend everyday this way. What d'you say?"

!!! dividers from @cafekitsune and @saradika

© shizukiss — do not steal, plagiarize, translate, and/or repost my posts anywhere

[sunnyrealist]

Let's Talk about Sebastian's Parents

I recently needed to write about Mr. and Mrs. Sallow for my fanfic, and because there is very little information out there, I had to invent a lot of backstory as to who they were and what life was like for the Sallow family prior to their deaths.

I'm so curious to know what headcanons others in the fandom have created about them. It would be interesting if some of us had similar thoughts. If you're willing, would you share your own ideas via comment or reblog? Thanks!

I threw in a little preview above of one of my many commissions from @giselsann-opencommissions that I've been sitting on for quite some time. I don't usually post them until I get to the plot points they depict. This one is close enough - I'll show the entire thing real soon.

Before I get to my headcanons, this is what Hogwarts Legacy: The Official Game Guide has to say about Sebastian's parents (see last paragraph):

Here is the background I created for my fic:

Their names were Samuel and Selina (Ware) Sallow. Their family and friends called them Sam and Lina.

They were both pureblood and the same age.

They met at Hogwarts. Sam was in Slytherin, and Lina was in Ravenclaw.

When they were students, they were academic rivals - not "enemies," per se, but they were not exactly friends until they were assigned as partners for a project in Potions during their seventh year. They realized how similar they were and fell in love.

They got married very quickly after graduation but didn't have Anne and Sebastian until they were older (around 30).

The two of them eventually became teachers at Hogwarts. Sam taught Magical Theory (predecessor to Professor Fig), and Lina taught Defense Against the Dark Arts (predecessor to Professor Hecat). They were experts in their fields.

They moved to Aranshire when they became professors. I believe they lived in the spider house in Hogwarts Legacy (there's actually evidence to back this up). It was FILLED with books to the point that it was practically a library.

The cellar was their workspace, and the twins knew that when their parents were down there that they were not to be disturbed unless there was an emergency.

Both of the Sallows were incredibly studious and conducted a lot of research in their spare time. They sometimes teamed up to study particular subjects, such as defensive magical theory and love as a form of magic in its purest form. They didn't view Dark magic as inherently evil, just as everyday magic is not always perfectly good.

Mr. and Mrs. Sallow were quite lovey-dovey. Sebastian remembers them reading in front of the fireplace, engrossed in their own books, but always holding hands or touching. He also remembers being grossed out as a little boy by how often they would kiss.

Neither of them had big families, and just about all of their family members had passed by the time the twins were born. Solomon Sallow was their only living relative at the time of their deaths.

They took the twins to Hogwarts often during summer breaks, so they had a head start on learning the lay of the land and the school's curriculum. Sam and Lina had them read some of their textbooks prior to their first year so that they could get the most out of their education.

They wanted the twins to be well-rounded, so they taught them multiple languages. Lina considered music a language and taught them how to play piano. She also would sing them a song every night when she put them to bed.

Lina was exceptionally gentle, despite her interest in magical combat, Dark magic, Dark creatures, etc. She tended to coddle and fuss over the children. Every year on their birthday, she would bake a spice cake with vanilla icing. She was proficient in both Muggle and magical healing. Her nicknames for Sebastian and Anne were "little prince" and "little princess" - "the little twin rulers."

As far as looks, Sebastian takes after Lina, who had curly auburn hair and freckles. While Anne got a few of Lina's freckles, her hair is similar to Sam's.

Sam loved to give the twins sweets behind their mother's back. He had a distinct laugh and enjoyed reading stories aloud and "doing the voices." He taught the kids how to play Quidditch; he had once been a beater. When he traveled for his studies and would come home with unique artifacts and new information, he would share all of it with the twins in plain language, never talking down to them. I see Sam as an Atticus Finch kind of father.

Christmas was a simple affair. They'd have Uncle Solomon over for dinner, and he would leave pretty quickly after dessert (he and Sam were not close and disagreements were frequent). The twins were always gifted two items: a new book and something particularly interesting, useful, or coveted.

They liked animals and had an Old English Sheepdog named Endy (short for Endymion).

Again, I would love to hear your headcanons. Are yours similar or completely different from mine? Sound off in the comments or reblog! I love discussions like this.

[asksoldieron]

SO-16: And Here's the Action!!

If there's a lot of engagement on this, this post is liable to get real long, beware before you expand.

No art, and I'm pissed because I had a really cool idea for this one. Erik is playing with guns and guns are cool! I have played with some guns (in a controlled environment, don't get nervous) and I can confirm that they are very cool. Not cool enough for me to spend money spraying more lead indiscriminately around the environment, but if forty feral hogs habitually showed up on my lawn, I'd have me some fun. Well, I'll edit the art in later, at some point, hopefully.

*ahem*

Welcome to the Engagement Lounge, for The Chatterbox Massacre (SO-16) an instalment! Short comments can go in the replies, but there's a 475 character limit. Longer ones will need a reblog. Remember to @asksoldieron if you're reblogging someone else's reblog, so I can see it too!

😭Waaaaaah I wanted to draw St. George-in-Erik firing guns with magic but I just CAN'T yet! I mean, non-zero chance I'll screw up my first couple illustrations when I can draw again, so I probably shouldn't draw that one first anyway, but I wanna see it. Damn.

IRL, I'm not fond of violence as a solution, but as a writer I appreciate the expedience. BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG! Okay, and now we have a whole bunch of NEW problems. I suppose that's not really a solution at all, but it's still gonna look cool when you imagine it. That's how come they say it's not possible to make an anti-war movie. You script it and make it part of a narrative and put some good actors and effects in it, and it just looks cool. Can't help it, gotta roll with it.

On the other hand, while Erik certainly doesn't deserve to die for being who he is, you can see why the cops prefer to kill immies on sight. Look what they can do! But, on the third hand, look at what Maggie can do. Nobody's going to unload on her for being magical unless she does something and they see it.

Poor Maggie made a little error and punched Mordecai when she really didn't need to, but if you've been reading you may suspect who (or what) put their finger on the scale, and who helped her shrug off David's little god trick. But to tell you the truth, it's like that because I forgot how magic works when I wrote the first draft. I needed her to punch him in the face! Fortunately, their unseen observer needed her to punch him too. We'll get to that when they get home again.

I was surprised by how little time it took to actually kill everyone. (Ha-ha, there's another one of those things I can only say because I'm a writer.) I was worried it needed to be more epic. The spouse advised me that that's just how it is when only one guy has a working gun in a street fight. It's over. People are dead and that's forever. On to the next thing. Bleh. I don't like the idea of it, but it rings true enough.

John is... not doing well, is he? I'd been planning this scene for years but that caught me off guard. I didn't realize what the situation would look like to him until I got him back inside and George handed him a gun. Well, let's see, Erik's family are right there to help him and he knows that, and he's holding an object that will get him out of the way so Erik can go home. Uh, yeah, why wouldn't he? (Currently writing the next 6 and I've almost got him out of Prokovia, and the plot, for the time being. Jenny will put him back together and Rob will forgive him, but Billie might not...)

Next instalment goes up on Erik's birthday, and mine! It's not birthday-themed or anything, but after all this nonsense his family do finally have enough information to get him home. They just have to put it together!

[Back to site?]

[septixtrash]

Payback and Retribution pt.1

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: language, drug and alcohol mentions, substance abuse, depression, bad coping mechanisms, slow burn

Summary: To say you missed him would be an understatement, you didn't just miss Soldier Boy, you died when he did...

A/N: thank you to everyone reblogging, requesting, and liking my posts it means a lot! This is part one to a small series I'm doing. I'm also trying to work on writing more, crafting my work. If you enjoy this please let me know!

You had been told to stay in the States, rally the country against the Nazis. Told that the rest of Payback would be stationed in Nicaragua to bring more supes to the frontlines. As much as you wanted to join your team, and your boyfriend, you did as you were told. You knew they all could handle anything thrown at them. You did a pretty fine damn job on your side too, more people were signing onto the reserves. Everything seemed to be going fine, until you got that fateful call.

Crimson Countess was the one to tell you, over the phone no less. She cried, “He's gone, Soldier Boy didn't make it. We did everything we could, I'm so sorry!” You stayed silent on your end of the line, shellshocked only a second.

“What…?” She had to repeat herself twice before it registered to you.

“You're lying. There's no way Ben would go down without a fight! Why didn't you fucking save him?”

She never answered your question.

You couldn't let it sink in that the man you loved was dead. That the Russians stole his body, that Vought didn’t send Payback to go retrieve it.

They informed the media a week later that Soldier Boy was gone, that he died a hero. They also told the world they were kicking you off the team. Said you needed a break. You couldn't fucking care less, your main reason being on the team was gone, it didn't matter anymore. Without Ben, you didn't care about what happened to you.

Burying a casket without a body inside hit you hard, harder than if he were inside it. It crushed you not knowing what happened to his body. While you grieved, the rest of your former team didn't seem to care, only crying in front of cameras.

You took up drinking and drugs, looking for every chance to ease the pain in your heart though it never lasted long enough, there was no cure for your heartache. People around you suggested seeking therapy, talking to someone, go to rehab. Fuck that and fuck them, nobody seemed to understand that you didn't want to move on, that you didn't want to seek help. The drugs dulled you down around the edges, made you numb in way nothing else could. You liked being alone, you didn't need anyones help. At least in the silence, the memories of him would come back…

You craved the little things about him the most. The tick of his jaw when he was angry, the brown freckles that dusted his face. The gentleness he had when it came to you, a side of him no one else got to see. The way he take your hand in his own, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. You missed his snoring, the long nights of him holding you tightly, You missed how passionate he was about one day marrying you, he’d talk about the pretty little house you’d buy and the picket white fence he wanted out front. Two little kids by his side as he grilled burgers in the backyard. He desperately wanted to be a father, to be a better dad than his own father ever was, to prove him wrong…

That's what the Russians took from you, not just Ben but the possibility of the future you two had planned.

The world forgot about you. They barely remembered Soldier Boy either. You knew it was bound to happen, though you didn't expect it to happen as quick as it did…

It had been 40 fucking years since he died when you heard his name again. You'd been sitting around, doped up when a knock at your door startled you.

Nobody ever came to visit you, you were positive that you didn't order takeout, so who the fuck could it be?

You dropped the joint you were smoking, leaving it in an ashtray on your coffee table before heading towards the door.

You had to look down and make sure you at least had a shirt on, before opening it.

The skinniest white guy you think you'd ever seen stood in front of you, seeming to be stumbling over himself. A rough looking bearded man behind him grasped his shoulder, shaking him.

“Oi, Y/N right?”

You look at him up and down, before raising an eyebrow.

“What do you want?” You sighed.

That's when the bearded fucker grinned ear to ear. “We got a proposition for ya!”

You roll your eyes before moving to shut the door when he puts his foot in the door frame. “We found 'im. Your boyfriend, Soldier Boy. He's alive.”

Why would a complete stranger knock on your door only to fuck with you?

“I've heard it all before, look if you want an autograph, come back tomorrow or something, fuck.”

The skinny one's eyes widen, another fucking fanboy. Great.

“H-he's not lying! Vought had the Russians kidnap him! Payback was the one to give him to them, the reason you weren't there was because they knew the wouldn't be able to contain you both!”

“Why should I believe you?” you say crossing your arms. This wasn't something you'd heard before…

“We have someone on the inside of Vought, gave us the files on his location on where he's being held. The Russians never killed him, they've been using him as their science experiment. We need your help in breaking him out.”

The bigger man steps forward, we extending his hand. “I'm Butcher, that's Hughie. We got some beef with Homelander, Soldier Boy is our only chance at taking 'im down. Now how about you join us, come get some payback on those fuckers who betrayed you, and bring him home? You up for it?”

You think for a second. “Sure, why the fuck not? It's not like I've got anything else going on…”

“Fuck yeah.”

[koushirouizumi]

* D O . N O T . R E B L O G

I wonder how many more of those P.S.A.s and the like I can clear out

[summahsunlight]

We Belong to the Stars, CH.30

Rating: Mature (18+ only)

Pairings: Poe/Skywalker!OC

Characters: Poe Dameron, Leia Organa, BB-8, Kaleb Skywalker (OC), Evelyn Skywalker (OC), Karé Kun, Iolo Arana, Snap Wexley, Jessika Pava, BB-8

Taglist: @ms-dont-care​, @liadamerondjarin​

Final chapter! Like reading this? Please feel free to leave a comment on the post, in an ask, or even a reblog. I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU❤️

Slipping into Terex's compound was easy--thanks to Oddy.  However, now that they were on the inside, Poe felt incredibly anxious. If they were caught there was no doubt in Poe's mind that Terex would hold them for bounties or kill them. He didn't know about Kaleb, but he was quite ready to die yet--and he certainly did not want to be a prisoner of the First Order. They needed to find Evelyn and get out of here as quickly as possible.

Poe gripped his blaster. They had also talked about the possibility that this was a trap sprung to capture Kaleb as well and Poe would just be the collateral damage. The pilot was certain Kylo Ren would have no problem executing him. They had never actually gotten along well as children. 

Kaleb sensed the unease in Poe; he had the same concerns. Silently he reached out and placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. He noticed that Poe took a deep breath, and whispered to BB-8 to lead the way, to the cell that Oddy said Terex was keeping Evelyn in. 

BB-8 cautiously led the two men through the dark, dank corridors of Terex's compound; alerting them when his sensors picked up another lifeform in the presence so Poe and Kaleb had time to conceal themselves before being spotted. The members of Terex's gang didn't seem to care about a little astromech droid. He led them down a dank corridor and stopped outside a small door, informing Poe and Kaleb that this was the cell that Evelyn was being held in.  "Go on, Bee," Poe whispered, glancing down the hallway. "Open it. We'll keep watch."

"If we say run--move that little droid body of yours as fast as you can," Kaleb instructed.

"And meet us back at the ship," Poe told BB-8. "Don't wait for us, Bee."

Chirping in reluctant agreement, BB-8 got to work on getting the cell door open.  The locks clicked and the door slid open.  Poe waited for the droid to roll out of his way before stepping inside.  He was partially ready for her coming at him--after all she had no idea that the Resistance had sent anyone after her--but his reflexes kicked in and he grabbed her wrist before she could hurt him. "Evie, it's me!"

Evelyn stepped back, blinking and then she lunged for him again, this time wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.  Poe could feel her legs give out as he wrapped his arms around her, and he held steady against him.  "It's okay," he whispered in her ear, "I've got you. We're gonna take you home."

Kaleb watched as his sister let go of Poe and now threw one arm around him, drawing him into an awkward three person hug. He didn't care; they had managed to get to her before their cousin and General Hux. "Poe, we gotta get going before we get caught."

"Yeah," Poe whispered, releasing both of them. "Evie can you walk?"

"I...I think so...they gave me something... I'm a little dizzy," Evelyn replied.

Poe wrapped one arm around her waist and instructed Kaleb and BB-8 to go a head of them. He'd drag Evelyn back to the Mirror Bright if he had too. It was evident that Evelyn had been given some kind of drug, probably to control her Force abilities--she was clumsy on her feet, which wasn't like her at all. She normally moved about with such grace that at times she could appear to be floating.

BB-8 stopped, alerting them that someone was approaching. Kaleb and Poe scrambled to hide, squeezing Evelyn between them in an alcove. All three of them held their breaths as Terex and several Stormtroopers walked by them. "Kriff," Poe cursed, as he realized Terex was heading for Evelyn's cell. "We don't have a lot of time."

Kaleb unclipped his lightsaber. "Well, fortunately for us, Terex didn't give me drugs to affect my force sensitivity."

"What are you going to do?" Evelyn snapped at her brother. "Use your lightsaber to slice their blasters in half while all of them are firing on us?"

"Those drugs have made you snakier."

"Deal with it."

"Children," Poe scolded. "Can we get moving? I really don't want to become a prisoner today."

BB-8 beeped in agreement and then led them onward. Poe was pretty that none of them breathed until they were well out of Terex's compound and making their way back through the city. Even though, they weren't quite out of the woods yet. Once Terex realized that Evelyn was gone, he'd have his gang out looking for them.  

Halfway outside of the city Poe was starting to get suspicious that their escape had been way too easy when Evelyn stumbled, an almost soundless cry leaving her mouth. 'Evie? What's wrong?"

Evelyn squeezed her eyes shut, tightly. "It's Ren. He's here--he knows where I am."

Kaleb grabbed her by the arm. "Push him out Evelyn!" 

"I can't... the drug..."

"Get her on her feet, Poe; we don't have a lot of time."

"Don't have a lot of time for what?" 

"Ben is using Evie to find us."

Poe looked at the painful expression on Evelyn's face as he dragged her, along with Kaleb, towards their ship. "What are you talking about?"

Kaleb yanked on Evelyn's arm, lifting her over a jagged rock. "He's pushing into her mind--he can probably see everything she can see."

Evelyn struggled to keep up with the two men. She doing her best to keep her cousin from entering her mind, but the drug made it difficult. It had completely inhibited her from tapping into the power. Which is exactly what General Hux and Kylo Ren would have wanted when they brought her before Supreme Leader Snoke. 

Somehow, Poe and Kaleb managed to get her back to the Mirror Bright. They didn't mean too, but they dropped her roughly on the floor on their way to the start the ship up. Evelyn closed her eyes tightly, reaching out the Force and attempting to fight back against Ren's invasion. Vaguely she could hear Poe and Kaleb shouting at one another as they tried to escape--she wasn't sure exactly what was going on, but she knew that her cousin had sent a squadron of TIE=fighters after them.  Poe was attempting to get assistance from Black Squadron. 

Come with me Evelyn and I'll let them go. I'll let them live.

Stay out of my head! I'm not going with you!

"Black Leader to base! We need some back-up!"

"Black Squadron is on their way, Commander." 

They'll all die, Evelyn. If you stay with them, every single one of them will meet a quick death.

She tried to ignore him, fight back, push him out of her head--but with ever effort, Ren just fought back harder.  Evelyn eventually couldn't handle it anymore and she succumbed to the pain, the intrusion, and blacked out of the cold durasteal floor of the Mirror Bright.

---------

At the age of six, Evelyn had caught some nasty virus on a trip with her parents to the capital. Upon their return home she had spent a duration of two weeks in bed with fever, aches, and chills. She could feel the fear her parents had--that she was so sick she was going to die--but one morning she woke up and the fever had broken. She didn't remember much, just flashes of images of her parents taking care of her, of the medics checking up on her. 

It was much like how she was feeling now as her eyes slowly opened to reveal the medical bay on D'Qar. 

Everything was quiet now--Poe and Kaleb weren't shouting, Ren wasn't forcing himself into her mind--all she could hear was the steady drone of medical monitors.  Flexing her fingers, Evelyn took a deep breath, realizing that her memories of what happened on the Mirror Bright were quite fuzzy. Had she even been on the ship at all?

"Hey sleepyhead," Poe's voice interrupted her thoughts. She gazed up to see him step into her room. He brushed her hair back from her forehead and kissed her. "Feeling okay?"

"Been better--but I've also been worse," Evelyn answered, honestly. "What happened?"

Poe's eyes grew heavy, sad. "Black Squadron came to help us, but we wouldn't have gotten away if it weren't for Oddy. I tried to tell him not to do it, that the First Order would know he was the one that sabotaged the ship--but he didn't listen. We got confirmation about an hour ago--Hux had him executed."

Evelyn closed her eyes in an attempt to stop her tears. She felt Poe's fingers in her hair, his lips softly pressing kisses to her cheek.  "It's my fault. If the First Order wasn't after me then Oddy never would have been blackmailed by Terex and none of this would have happened."

He sighed, sitting down on the bed. Reaching out, Poe put an arm around her. "This is not your fault."

She shook her head, violently. "But it is. If I wasn't so strong in the Force..."

"Don't you dare apologize for being you."

"But...Poe...if I..."

Poe took her face between his hands and look at her, intensely. "You are exactly who you were meant to be. Do you understand me? The First Order...they don't care about you as a person--they just want to exploit your talents. And they only want to do that because they know--you can destroy them."

Evelyn shook her head again, this time not with as much vigor. "You're wrong, Poe; I'm strong enough to destroy them. I couldn't even stop them five years ago--when they were murdering my friends, when they murdered my mother--nothing has changed. I won't be able to do it."

He pulled her tightly into his arms. "Not alone," Poe whispered in her ear. "But together--we can defeat them. It might just take time and patience."

She blinked her tears away and laughed, sadly. "I never thought I'd hear you talk about patience."

"First time for everything I suppose."

"Yes, I guess there is."

Leaning back ever so slightly, Poe lowered his lips to hers, kissing her tenderly. He had been so afraid he was going to lose her, especially when he had failed at keeping her safe. Resting his forehead against hers, Poe sighed. "Force, Evie, I thought I was going to lose you. I didn't think we'd make it in time. I've never been more afraid than I was when they took you."

Evelyn's thumbs ghosted over his cheeks. "I knew you would find me. I never doubted you for a second because you're so damn stubborn that you would have searched every corner of the galaxy for me--and never given up." She was silent for a moment, before she sighed, heavily. "It's only going to harder from here, isn't it?"

Poe took a deep breath, tightened his arms around her waist. "I'm afraid so, sweetheart."

"We need to find Master Tekka."

"We need to find your father."

She knew this; this had been the only thing on her mind for some time now. "In order to do that," Evelyn whispered, "We need to find Master Tekka. He has the map."

He pressed his lips to her forehead and slowly stood up, holding his hand out to her, Poe smiled, sadly, "Then what are we waiting for? We have a map to find."

[stateofgrace1303]

My chronic illness, how it started.

*Can you guys please reblog and/or tag Taylor?? I really want her to read

this. I want this to get to her and I'll take any help I can get. I rarely ask this but it'd mean to world to me. I wanna get my story

out there (even if this is only a part of the entire story. The rest I

might post sometime if you guys want me too. I think I did include

everything I wanted to for now though). Just thank you all so much!!! I

love you all ❤*

(Im really sorry about how long this is. Its like a little novel. Plus I'm

OCD and tend to talk/rant until it feels just right... I just wanted to

share it with all of you, since its something I would've shared on TSL,

even though it'd probably be too long for there... But I wanted to share it

here because most of those swifties can be found on tumblr, and I want you

all to hear this... Maybe it'll even get to Taylor too. But please read if

you can. It'd mean a lot to me. Also I tried writing this but then it got

deleted when I tried posting it, so hopefully this one posts (I ended up trying to post this ALL DAY. I'm so glad it's finally up).)

Hey Swifties! So, I thought I would post this because its something I'd

post on TSL if it was still around, as I shared pretty much my whole life

on there, and I always found swifties very easy to talk to (plus you're all

just the nicest people)! So, I wanted to share this on here since most

swifties can be found on tumblr. I'm sure i talked a little bit about this

on tsl (my user was stateofgrace1303, same as on here and ig) but I wanted

to tell you guys more, especially because its getting so much more intense

now and like I said I've always found swifties very easy to talk to you.

Basically, when I was 12, my dad took me to see the RED tour at Gillette

Stadium. We had gone to see the Speak Now tour there and I had been

completely wonderstruck (no pun intended) by Taylor that night. I was 10 at

the speak now tour and had idolized Taylor since I was 6 and she put out

TOMG (and I was known as the Taylor Swift girl by now at my school). So

even though I was 10 I asked my dad, if I save up the money will you take

me to see her when she comes again? And he said yes. About 2 weeks before

the show, I had saved up enough. He didn't think i could do it, but I did.

So, I got tickets and we went to the tour. But when I was walking towards

the stadium (we had parked in a lot right down the street), my vision

became weird, almost like tunnel vision although nothing was turning black

around the edges of my vision. My feet looked very far away from me.

Suddenly, a rush of dizziness came over me and instinctively i grabbed onto

my dads arm to keep from falling down. He asked if I was okay and I could

barely get out words for some reason. I was starting to sweat and we

thought maybe i was dehydrated, so we got into the stadium as quickly as

possible. I was gripping onto everything around me to keep from falling,

but eventually we got into the stadium and I got some water. We had seats

on the field, so that's where I was, drinking some water when suddenly I

was pretty sure I was going to throw up. It was starting to get super

uncomfortable so my dad brought my to the first aid, which was actually

right at the enterance on the field. So when we went in there my dad told

them what was going on and they all looked at me weird and said "people

never get sick. We usually treat bee stings and allergic reactions. We

almost never have people get sick" which actually surprised me. But, they

took me back and laid me down. Almost immediately I started puking. The

nurse I had actually had just had a baby and had some anti nausea

medication on her. So, she gave me that but it didn't work. And I just got

worse. My dad went to find me something to eat so I'd have something in my

stomach. He came back with some chips and iced/frozen lemonade but I threw

up every time. I was so dizzy at this point I was gripping onto the bed

they had me on and puking my guts out, as well as sweating a lot. After a

while, as it only got worse, they actually thought I might have had food

posioning and asked what I ate. But there they noticed something. I was

completely white. Like white as a ghost. Except for my lips, which were

turning blue. And I was struggling to breathe. They wanted to take me to

Boston Childrens and my dad asked if I wanted to, but it was Taylor. I

couldn't miss it. So I said no for that reason. But actually, everyone at

the stadium was trying to get me tickets for the show the next night as she

was playing two nights. Security guards, the nurses, my dads girlfriend...

But nobody could get tickets in the end which was okay. But later my dad

went and for a list of everybody's set times. I had been in first aid for

about an hour at this point. He came back with the list and said "I promise

I will not let you miss them" he said and pointed to Ed Sheerans name, then

Taylor, since I was a huge Ed fan as well. He knew I probably wouldn't be

able to stay, but even seeing them for a minute would've been perfect to

me. Another hour had passed, and I was still there in the same condition.

It was terrifying, and they were really pushing me to go to the hospital

(they wanted to call an ambulance because they actually thought something

very bad might happen if they didn't). But I keep pushing that off because

I wanted to see Taylor and Ed so badly. But, 2 hours I had been there in

the same condition, puking up everything, completely white with blue lips,

struggling to breathe, so dizzy I couldn't even sit up. It was starting to

get painful honestly. So, I suddenly just burst out crying. I was just a 12

year old who wanted to see my idol, and I got this... This weird sickness,

and got stuck in first aid. In so much pain. I didn't even really

understand what was happening. I had always been a sick kid. Always getting

colds and infections. In fact, I almost died as a baby from a problem with

my kidneys, and had become septic. Its a miracle I lived. But I had never

experienced anything like this... And to experience it when I was just

trying to see my idol? When it was only my second concert ever? It crushed

me tbh. My dad asked what was wrong and I finally said the words I had been

avoiding all night... "I wanna go home" (which was actually his

girlfriend's house who lived in Boston... I'm from Maine). And he said

"okay". That was all he needed and he left, walking back towards where we

left the car. However, around 7:30ish the traffic in this area is really

weird I cant even explain it. But traffic can only go one way, instead of

both ways like normal.. So he couldn't get a ride back to the car and had

to walk, and then drive the car in traffic all the way to the stadium to

pick me up. So i had to wait a while, and while I did I heard clapping and

then a British voice say "hello Boston" and he started playing give me

love. I listened to him play and i only cried more because I was so

frustrated I couldn't go out there to see him. About half way through the

set, my dad showed up. They let him park in a no parking zone to come and

get me so he was right next to the enterance to the field. They were going

to put me in a wheelchair, but instead my dad came and helped me up. He was

holding me up straight and almost dragged me out of the first aid station,

into the stadium. I remember this part so well. The air hit me, I heard

Ed's voice clearly and saw him on stage, and suddenly, I let go of my dad,

and I was able to stand on my own... And I was fine. It was like a miracle.

I yelled to my dad over the music "is it too late to stay?" And he screamed

back "what??? After all that you wanna stay???" And I said yes, so, we

stayed. He went to go move the car (the girl was so nice who did the

parking, he told her the story, and he just needs to park the car and het

back in the stadium, how much would it cost. And the girl said park

wherever you want no charge. I thought that was seriously the sweetest

thing.) Sooo he did that, and since I was only 12 in a huge stadium, one of

the cops that was patroling the place stayed with me and asked me all kinds

of questions about Ed Sheeran, especially about the A-Team, when he played

it. He said "this isn't his song right?? Is this a cover?? I know this

song." And I told him it wad and told him all about it. It was the ideal

conversation for 12 year old me 😂 Anyway, my dad came back, we got to our

seats, and I actually met Andrea for a very brief moment! And before I knew

it, Taylor was playing. And I had made it through the entire show. I woke

up the next morning, still feeling a little sick but actually felt better

after eating, so I thought the worst was over. But, I was wrong... I didn't

know that one night would become my life... And god I wish I had gone to

the hospital... Maybe I would be okay now if I had... But anyway... A month

later (in August), it happened at my friends end of summer party. Then a

month later (in September), while I was at school... Each time worse than

the time before. Everyone had been informed I was having issues, but nobody

had seen anything happen yet. I seemed like myself. Then one day, I was on

my way to lunch with my friends, and I collapsed in the hallway... Same

thing happening. All my friends freaked out and 2 stayed with me while the

rest went to get the nurse. She actually thought I was dying, and honestly

I could've. She called my mom and said she wasn't sure if she should call

my mom or an ambulance. Then my mom came and got me and immedaitly took me

to my doctor (because she said next time it happens to come in so they

could monitor me). I was monitored and fell asleep, then 4 hours later i

woke up like nothing happened. After that i was pulled out of school and

constantly at the doctor. And I just got sicker and sicker... Which was

later diagnosed as... "Anxiety". By an unqualified doctor. He was a thyroid

doctor and diagnosed me with that?? As time went on, I got incredibly sick

to the point I can't even move. I have become completely disabled and lose

control of my body a lot. It's like my brain is disconnected from my body.

And I get this weird feeling im falling off a cliff and I cant feel my arms

and when that happens, I cant move at all. I cant even express how bad it

can get, how scary and painful it is. I'm a lot sicker than most people

think I am... I spend most days in bed, actually unable to move. I find

ways to keep my spirits up, luckily. Mostly its listening to Taylor and

watching friends but yeah 😂 I have days where I can't even sit up I'm so

dizzy and weak and it hurts so much. Its also terrifying when you don't

have full control over your own body. Absoultely terrifying. Although I

have okay days where I can stand up and function for a little bit, most

days lately have been like this... Bad and living from my bed due to

weakness and dizziness (extreme dizziness honestly). I have days where its

even a struggle to breathe, the most simple thing in the world. It gets

depressing at times... When you spend all ur time in bed or a wheelchair it

really can vet discouraging... But I'm still fighting. And I'm so happy I

am. And like I said, Taylor always lifts me up. Even on my worst, most

disabled and bed ridden days. Oh, that reminds me... I also have seizures

now, sadly. But I hadn't had what happened that night at the RED tour in a

while though... Until one night last year... While I was seeing Ed Sheeran

in Gillette Stadium 😂 Maybe its him?? I dont know 😂 Anyway, I spend most

days in bed, and I do online schooling now. I've seen Taylor twice since

then. For 1989 and for reputation. With 1989 I needed a lot of help but I

got through it. Reputation, it had gotten so bad I needed a wheelchair and

I still do whenever I go out, really. I dont have full control over my body

and I'm too weak and just very sick. I'm really hoping to go to lover fest

but if i do will need a wheelchair and even then I'll probably still feel

sick... But Taylors worth it ❤ Hopefully can get ada seating like with rep.

Wanted to keep this last part short but I think I failed 😂 Mainly wanted

to focus on the red tour. My health story is so incredibly long, I couldn't

say it all (maybe I will later). However, for now, I will tell you this, I

was diagnosed with a thyroid disease, migraines, and seizures. Then it was

discovered that all of this... Was advanced Lyme Disease... And it created

something called Dysautonomia (basically a disfunction of the autonomic

nervous system, which most people don't even realize they have, or how

important it is, until it makes you sick and either nearly kills or

cripples you... Depending on the kind though.) Also known as POTS, or

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (there are actually 15 kids of

dysautonomia, that being one of them, I might possibly have more than one

kinda, were not sure yet. But its basically half cardiology half

neurology). And there's no cure... I could be this way, this disabled and

sick for a while... But there are treatments that might work luckily!!!

Since there are no Dysautonomia clinics in Maine, I either have to go to

New York, Baltimore, Cleveland, or Minneapolis. So looks like im taking a

trip! Sadly to a hospital, but still 😊 I honestly don't know how we'll pay

for it, but I need it, or I will spend my life like this. So I'm sure we'll

find a way... Like I always seem to do in life, no matter what 😊❤ Oh, and

funny thing is, I have something called PANS as well... So I have Pots and

Pans 😂😂😂 Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you guys because like

I said you guys are always so great and Taylor is my favorite artist so I

wanted to share it with the people who understand my love for her. I've

been a huge fan of her for 13 years (I'm 18, 19 next month, now). Theres

something about her... She's always helped me but especially now. She makes

me so happy and feel so safe during this time... Im fact, the only time i

smile like i did when I was younger,before all of this, is when I listen to

Taylor. I even have a Long Live tattoo on my wrist because I felt it

represented my love for her the most, and what we've made as a fandom, the

magic we've created. Plus, it reminds me that I'm fighting my battle (this

"dragon") with Taylor and her music on my side, as well as all of you. And

it makes me smile. I can't wait to get more Taylor tattoos... Honestly,

after all of this and the other health issues I faced as a baby and a

child, I can't believe I'm still here, that I'm still living... Especially

because since I've always been so sick with so many different illnesses and

health issues to the point I'm disabled, my immune system is so weak. I

truly cannot believe I'm still here. But... I guess my body just isn't

ready to give up. It hasn't yet at least!!! And it doesn't want to. It

won't. I'm strong. Me, and my body, want to fight until the very end. And

I'm grateful for that. So grateful that I am still alive, and still

fighting every day of my life. It might be hard, and I can't function or do

really anything but lay in bed and watch tv most days, but I'm just so

thankful that I'm still alive, that it's okay I have to be at the doctors

so much and have to take all these meds (I do anything at this point that

can help me even the slighest). And no matter what life throws at my

health, my body always fights it and gets right back up. I fall down 10

times, I stand up 11. And I could not have the courage and strength to do

this if it wasn't for my idol, Taylor Swift. I've been a fan of Taylor for

13 years (I'm 18 now, 19 next month) so her and her music have helped me

through every problem I have ever faced, and this is no different. She has

a song for everything, so I can always find something to listen to that

makes me feel like she understands and she's telling me it'll be okay...

And ever since LOVER came out, I've been listening to soon you'll get

better on days its really bad, and my girlfriend sends me that song on bad

days too... It makes me feel safe. And like I can fight this. Thank you,

Taylor. I will never be able to repay you. I may struggle with this every

single day im here on earth, but with your music and the support I feel

from the swiftie fam, I know I'll get through it. Anyway... I guess I

should end this here. Again, sorry this is so long but if you read this

thank you so much for taking the time to!! If you made it to this point,

I'm proud 😂❤ And it means the world to me, you have no idea. Im hoping

this will get to Taylor and maybe even Ed one day. I love you all so much

and once again, thank you for reading!! ❤❤❤

@taylorswift @taylornation 🌈❤ @taylornotices 💜

(Pic is from when I was in First Aid at Ed Sheeran. It was so bad there

they had to give me an IV. I was in the first aid station, wrapped up in my

nightmare before Christmas blanket, on a stretcher with an IV in my hand

pretty much the entire night. It was so painful. When I arrived to first

aid I was actually unresponsive. Like I knew what was happening but I

couldn't talk or open my eyes. All I could do was make very small

movements. It felt like my body was shutting down. I was having bad heart issues as well and they wanted to give me a medicine fot my nausea but since I had lyme disease it could make my heart issues worse so they had to give me an EKG... Right there at the concert 😂 Interesting... But, I got through it.

Like always 😊 So yeah thats where the

picture is from ❤)