#(also don't worry. i didn't find out she was gone via text. my brother called me to say it was imminent. then a text 45min later confirmed.)

[sweetlittlevampire]

I feel so bad.

Like, I wanna say something to my uncle's wife and my cousin, but my uncle passed today, and I kinda wanna wait until tomorrow before I reach out just so everything can settle for a bit.

But also - I don't have my cousin's number anymore, and I really don't wanna talk to her mother if it can be avoided, so I'll have to do it via socmed/text, which is...the height of impersonality. I know that.

The last time someone in our family passed and they were involved, it was my grandmother, ten years ago. I couldn't attend the funeral because I was abroad - I arrived a day after the funeral, having to rely on other people to bring me home because I have no driver's license. My uncle's wife had nothing better to do than to call me a "stone-cold bitch" for it and witch hunt my mother so much that she had an MS flare-up out of stress, so violent that it put her in hospital for six weeks. My dear cousin, who visited my grandma once while she was in the care home, despite her workplace being 15 minutes away - while I visited multiple times every time I was in the country because I lived 700 km away from home at that time - told me that she was "hurt and disappointed by my actions, but would forgive me because I showed goodwill."

So. That's why I never visited because it was impossible to visit my uncle without crossing paths with his wife. That's why I don't know what to say to her, because there IS a valid chance that we will be met with reproaches and blame again, and I don't know if my mother and I can handle that.

(My mum never visited because it's impossible for her to take the steps to their flat. They never visited us, either.)

My uncle was my father's older brother. My grandma's middle child. The quietest of the three. He had severe asthma as a kid and was bullied a lot because of it. He never spoke in school, which brought up concerns with his teachers at home he would only talk with his mama.

As an adult, he was someone who didn't fare well with people who were too loud. He was very funny, and a very gentle soul. He always loved to take care of me and play with me when I was still very little; he often picked me up and drove me home to my parents when I had been at my grandparents' house in the afternoon.

I know that he loved his wife and daughter, but they didn't get on too well, because both his wife and daughter are very loud people who argue in screaming matches, while he always preferred to discuss things in a civil manner. We always used to joke that, temper- and personality-wise, he would have been a better father for me than I was, and my cousin would have worked out better with my father...and it's kind of true.

Now he's gone. I haven't seen him in a decade. He was the last person I ever danced with, at my other cousin's wedding. A tango, which I knew how to dance, while his wife laughed at him for even suggesting they dance and then sulked when he asked me and I agreed to dance with him.

I didn't cry immediately when my grandmother died. I knew she wouldn't be there for much longer, but I still needed time to process it.

I didn't cry when my father died. Didn't cry to this day. Given what he did to my mother and me, I believe that to be understandable, even when the whole family judged us for it.

Now, I find myself on the verge of tears at the loss of my uncle, who was the gentlest creature in the whole family. To be frank, it feels a bit like betrayal towards my grandma, and even towards my father, which is the most absurd thing to come from this.

Maybe I should have visited. Pretty sure I should have. My uncle was always gracious and kind and gentle and funny to me; the fact that his wife, this vitriolic person, would have been there too, shouldn't have kept me from doing so. Maybe they would be right in putting blame on me.

I just really don't know how to react. I keep on overthinking stuff, even worrying about whether I still have anything black to wear - as if that was of any importance now. It's not even sure we'd be able to attend a funeral, with Covid cases rising again. We'll have to wait and see.

I just feel lost. I really don't know what to do.

[itoshit]

At the end I didn't write the dc stuff, will be for future posts, and I was eating that's why I took my time to come back!<3

I was tired, exhausted even.

The last three months have been hectic. We just recently discovered we had a mole in Bonten and that made me mad.

Fucking mad. Who the hell dared betray us?

After long sleepless nights searching and digging through all the possible files, cameras, and meetings to try to find who it was, I came to a conclusion.

My executives wouldn't work for someone else. But they had side chicks. A lot of them. And what was my surprise when I discovered the blonde girl from three months prior.

Her friend. What was the name of the girl I've fucked that night again?

Vee, yeah right.

Among the hundred footages I've spotted her with Sanzu in a bar, one where he used to go to get his dick wet.

Wasn't she with Koko?? But guess that bitches like her had their legs open wide for everyone and anyone.

'Koko, you know that girl right?'

Now all sat around thr huge wooden table, the Haitani brothers, Akashi, Hitto, Mochizuki, Sanzu and Koko and myself were discussing in emergency. Some of our personal data leaked and the fucker was still free in Japan.

'Yeah I do. Her name was Jackie if I remember correctly?'

Turning to Sanzu I showed him the same image.

'Jackie huh? She told me her name was Grace'

Manspreading I crossed my fingers on the table.

'Well visibly she lied to at least one of you. On these photos taken by our detectives it seemed like she was talking with one of the Yamaguchi-gumi's members. We all know who they are, I don't need to explain further. So the question is. Why the hell is she in contact with the strongest Yakuza family in Japan hm?? The one with which our relations aren't really good at that. Akashi, any idea?'

Silence settling between my men and I, I had my chin on my fingers.

'The most logical explanation would be that she took opportunity of both of our weaknesses. Koko, have you ever talked to her about Bonten?'

'Who do you think I am Akashi? I'm not dumb. She tried several times to get into my pants but I always pushed her away. I'm not a huge fan of escorts'

'That theory is at least confirmed right?'

'Yeah Ran. She has been spotted with political figures too. This bitch knows how to dive into business'

'Sanzu, did you have anything going on with her?'

Looking at my second in command I was waiting for his answer. This fucking mess was starting to get seriously on my nerves.

'Yeah we fucked multipe times'

'How could you explain yourself? You had sex with someone who fucked enemies and politicians??'

'Look Akashi, I didn't say anything to her. I just made her scream my name, I don't have anything to do with that shit'

Throwing a photo at him my patience was thinning.

'Seems like she gave you some drug though. Am I right?'

And that's when a look of realisation came upon his face. Gulping, Sanzu bit his lip. I knew what that I meant.

Guilt.

'Yeah-maybe. Yes she did. But it was nothing more that molly!'

'And how do you know that?? What d'you remember of that night??'

'... nothing'

I fucking tried to stay calm. I did my best really, but this bloody junkie was fucking with me.

'That night seemed to be your last with her, and she saw the Yakuzas not long after. You know what does that mean right? She drugged you and probably asked you questions about our fucking gang. But too high to realise it you gave in. That's your fault. You're the one responsible.'

'Sano, without disrespecting you, the girl you fucked three months ago. Wasn't she an acquaintance of her?'

At Rindou's question my legs stopped boucing and my breath stopped.

Could it be...?

'They were together in this... Fuck! I should have seen that coming'

Slamming my fist against the table I gritted my teeth together.

'Find these bitches and bring them back to me. I don't fucking care how you find them. You could tear their legs off their bodies for all I care but I want them alive. Understood??'

Sanzu sighted while the other nodded and stood up.

'Oh and also Sanzu. Take care of that Yakuzas shit. I don't want them to come at us.'

Leaving me all alone in the room, I slouched on the chair.

Eyes closed while remembering the night spent with her, I cursed at the feeling of my cock twitching in my pants.

'Are you fucking with me now...'

Standing up and leaning on the huge window, head resting on my arm I smirked.

'Guess I'll see you again pretty soon Vee'

-Mikey

MIKEY WAIT YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG IDK WHAT THESE BITCHES GOT GOIN ON—see how i always get dragged in stuff

We hadn’t seen Natalie in weeks. Every time we called her phone or invited her out via text, she always responded that She was tired. Busy. Not really feeling the club scene.

I knew they were all lies. Natalie was the partier of our group, the one who always knew the names of the latest clubs, which ones had the cheapest drinks. Or the strongest. Her strange absence took a toll on our group almost instantly.

Angel went hysterical. She was always closest to Nat, and Tati the one closest to the outside of the circle they navigated in as I was. So we both took it upon ourselves to go with Angel to Natalie’s house, confront her head on. We all met up their by our cars, pulling up to the condominium straight-faced, our worry masked deep within us. Tati and I, at least. The memo hadn’t reached Ang, who sobbed openly as she rapped on the door, screaming out for Nat so loud I wince. We all exhale when the door opens, but that relief quickly washes away at the sight of the small, wrinkled face woman before us— Aya, Bay’s housekeeper.

I’m sorry, Aya says when Angel nearly tackles her with questions about Nat’s whereabouts. She’s not home at the moment.

So she has been home then, I retort, watching Aya’s face drop. Like she wasn’t supposed to say that much.

I will tell her you stopped by, she answers, not really responding to what I’m asking. My eyebrows pitch up.

Ang tries to intercept her, barge straight into the house, but Aya is either deceptively strong or Angel’s awfully weak. Nat’s housekeeper wins the joust for the door easily, all professionalism gone from her face as she threatens to call the police if we don’t leave the property soon.

Tati hastily takes Angel to her car and I head to mine for the same reason: we don’t fuck with police. But that doesn’t mean I’ve given up, either. I send a call to Natalie’s phone, heel tapping as it rings once, twice, thrice and then… voicemail.

I’d usually hang up by then, but the sheer worry I feel for Natalie startles me into staying on the line. I guess we care about each other after all.

Natalie, I breathe after her automated message stops rambling about bullshit I could care less about. Where the fuck are you? Aya all but judo-flipped Angel for trying to come inside your place and look for you. Whatever’s going on, you can talk to us about it, but don’t shut us out. Especially Angel. You know she doesn’t deserve it.

I sigh when the beep comes in and hang up. The shrill ring of my cellphone echoes loudly. I scramble to lift it up to my eyes, heart dropping at the contact name.

Nat, thank God. Where are you?

I’m so sorry, Nat says into the phone shakily and just like that, worry worms its way through my gut again.

Huh? Natalie, what’s going on?

I should’ve never taken you guys to that club. I did everything to keep you three out of it, I promise. It’s just that he saw you, Vee and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I always wanted to keep you guys safe, you have to believe me, she sobs. The sound startles me. I hadn’t seen or heard Nat cry since she skimmed her knee in kindergarten.

What are you talking about? Listen, we were just outside your house. Aya’s taken over, isn’t letting anyone in.

You’re where? Her voice, wet with tears, booms with alarm. Venus, where are you?

I’m at your car outside your house. Nat, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.

Venus, get out of there. Get out of there now. Natalie sounds like she’s pulling her hair out on the other end. Goosebumps raise on my skin.

Natalie, what the fuck is going on?

They’ve been watching my house for weeks! Nobody was supposed to show up there! I told Aya to tell you guys that I went on a trip! Fuck, Vee, you need to get out of there!

Watching her house? I look around with the phone to my ear, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. Everything looks like it always looks. I’m confused and afraid. What shit had Natalie gotten herself into?

I fiddle with my keys, not wanting to take the chance of waiting around and finding out. I can hear her frantic screams, they just make me panic more. I drop my keys, cursing as I bend to pick them up. When I raise them, a jeep slows a few yards away from my car. It’s big, black and the windows are tinted all the way through. Then the doors open, and three men all hop out, adorned in black and demeanors screaming menace.

I stay frozen in place. They’re staring at me.

They’re walking… toward me.