#(also im kin with the vampire please help)

[monsterkin-culture-is]

Im not good with asks but please may we have some zombie kin help? I've just been struggling with it grrrr , thank you . -📼

Sorry for the delayed response!

This is my first time doing kin tips so it might be a little hit-or-miss but see if any of these are helpful! I'm assuming this is in the context of ways to combat dysphoria/incorporate your kintype more into your daily life.

Raw Meat Diet: Obviously human flesh and raw meat isn't a viable option here unfortunately. @/forests-creatures created a good list of alternatives: Beef jerky, rare steaks, safe raw salmon & dried fruits. For sweet options, I'd say the red tongue-staining lollipops could work, as well as pink or red chocolate & red popping candy. Please research that what you're eating is safe beforehand! Tumblr is not a reliable resource.

Sunglasses & Sunhats: This tip was inspired by a similar vampires list! I'm not sure if your specific zombie kintype has a sensitivity to sunlight or is associated with the night but if so, incorporating sunglasses or tinted glasses into your day-to-day wardrobe might be an option! Sunhats don't blend in as well in the winter but there are rain & sun hats such as Tilley hats and other alternatives which you could use instead.

SFX Makeup: I used to do a lot of this a few years back! I absolutely encourage you to learn special effects makeup to create wounds or even just look a little more corpse-like. This is definitely not for the day-to-day but it's a fun hobby if you're okay getting a little messy! It can also lead into a potential career path. You can do some pretty effective stuff with some fakeblood, toilet roll, glue & foundation so it doesn't always have to be pricey. It's almost halloween so it should be the best time of year to gather supplies!

Apocalyptic Wardrobe: Ripped jeans are your friend!! I know not everyone loves skinny jeans (I certainly don't) so don't be afraid to find an old/cheap pair of cargos or wide leg trousers and make your own tears with some scissors. I'd recommend arm/leg warmers & fingerless gloves, which shouldn't look out of place now we're coming into autumn. Handkerchiefs can also look a lot like bandages. If you like to present more femininely, then messy ribbons & colourful braids in your hair can give the desired vibe.

Try Meditation: Zombies are sort of known for their head-empty, distant feeling from being undead so a healthy way of manifesting that could be through meditating! It's definitely a challenging skill to build but following a youtube guided meditation is a good place to start. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if there were themed ones! (Maybe that's a new business idea for me... horror meditation...)

Go on a walk/hike: This is a common kin tip via the idea of connecting with nature. However, I think it works especially for zombiekin because you can recreate that feeling of solitude from the apocalypse.

Onto the more generic advice! I always recommend making a moodboard for your kin, which you can then use as the cover for a kin spotify playlist. Watching movies of your kintyoe is a common recommendation. In this instance I'd say include other apocalypse films/tv too!

A generic but less common tip is (if it's your sort of thing) make an oc/kinsona for your kintype and play as them in a game or roleplay as them online.

I hope a couple of those ideas were helpful! Let me know if you try any. Also thank you for your other culture-is submission, I'll add it to the queue!

If I have completely misunderstood your ask please send another one and I'll see how I can help!

[necroangelz]

🪽 & 💉 please。。

I'm gonna pretend this didn't take me like 2 weeks to respond to again

『 💉 』

a kin memory

as Monika from ddlc, i remember two timelines/lives! one timeline follows the canon events of the game where i was a sentient entity trapped within the game. in the other timeline, i was a human girl living in like, a normal world, except i suffered a huuuge breakdown from heavy stress. something in me snapped and i began to see the world as lifeless and flat, and i thought i was stuck in a simulation or video game of some sorts where everything and everyone was fake and i was the only real being. it was.... very hard, as you can probably guess, but with professional help and support from the other club members i got better

『 🪽 』

infodump about an oc

@yaoimurder hi squid I'm tagging uu here bc this is where i ramble about that vampire oc i mentioned ages ago, if uu remember that!!! read on if uu'd like (: my oc infodumps are very long and i mention almost EVERYTHING about them so uu can just read the basic info only lol

picrew one and two

her name is midah she is my babygirl. she's also my first (and only) empires SMP oc and i ship her w my f/o (mythicalsausage s1)!!

picture #1 is much more accurate to how midah looks but picture #2 includes details about midah not present in the other photo, such as her red vial necklace, flowers on her cheekbones, and silly little hat

since she's an oc for a series I'll mention stuff that some might not know about, im too lazy to explain everything though so if anyone's curious at all just ask :3

okay midah's backstory is a LIIITTLE murky bc i mainly use her for vague-daydreaming purposes. anyway shes an assassin sorceress who practices blood magic and other types of magic (such as offensive fire Magic that involves creating and manipulating white fire). i got the idea for her name from the line, "touch me, midas, make me part of your design," from my ordinary life. other than that though, her character/story doesn't have much connection to the mythology figure midas. it's just her name that's connected to him. her name is pronounced like midas without the "s", or like the name Micah.

midah is half vampire and half flower elf. i don't really have info on what a "flower elf" is exactly, i don't think i wrote down the info for that, but basically it's just. Elf type connected to Flowers. and flowers often grow on (and maybe in...) their bodies. this can be seen in the red roses that grow on midah's cheekbones. help me my brain is coming up with ideas fur this elf type as i type this but I'm too tired to really focus on that and too focused on finishing this rambles

shes brave, strong, self assured of her own capabilities, tbh for the most part she's a normal person with not much mental and emotional problems, and she cares deeply for those she loves (like a certain mythical j. sausage... aka my f/o ever) she cares deeply to the point of sacrifice but hey, anything for true love amirite... shes also usually the voice of logic and reason compared to sausage but she doesn't try to stop his antics (until his antics start getting a little... demonic.) she totally tops sausage btw. shes also older than him by a bit and she's much taller than him (she's like 7ft tall)

anyway midah isn't very affected by the sunlight BUT she does need to drink blood every now and then, otherwise she gets a bit Quirky (aggressive, uncontrollable monsterlike behavior, and also she starts feeling a lot of physical pain) blood is like a Huge thing for her. she can perform rituals using blood. she wears a vial of blood tied to a necklace for good luck. she has a special bond with the blood sheep

wait what the fuck is a blood sheep? they're creatures from empires SMP s1, particularly the mythland empire (cough cough, that's the main setting of midah's "story") basically they're just Minecraft sheep dyed red. but lorewise they're mysterious creatures who have inhabited mythland for a very long time. they exhibit erratic behavior and sometimes display aggression to other beings. their blood and guts are also very useful for rituals! the blood sheep like midah a lot. they follow her around and nuzzle her like docile farm sheep and sometimes she can communicate with them and they follow her orders. they also protect her FIERCELY against anyone

the vial midah wears around her neck is filled with the blood of a sacrificed blood sheep. she wears it for good luck but replaces it every now and then because the luck can degrade and eventually attract bad luck instead

so yeah i have a lot of different storylines i imagined for midah and ill try to go over them briefly (I'll totally not type like 6 more paragraphs)

- backstory #1 explaining how sausage and midah met: midah moves to mythland and works there as a regular farmer at first and then attempts to join the assassin's guild managed by sausage. she expresses interest in being an assassin and spy. sausage is unsure of her at first,but hes intrigued by her, so he tests her with an easy normal mission: assassinating codfather Jimmy in the empire next door and bringing back his head. yeah that's totally not, like, the beginning of a war and political feud or something. so midah sneaks to the codlands, successfully kills Jimmy, returns with his head, and gets accepted into the guild. at the beginning of this backstory she puts on this facade of a totally unassuming and regular citizen who doesn't seem to have any fighting capabilities, let alone the capability to fight with magic and perform rituals, but then time passes and more and more is revealed about her and it's like Wow she's not who she seems to be. at all. and she quits her farmer job and goes all in on the assassin gig but does other stuff on the side too. and falls in love with saus along the way LOL

- midah x saus backstory #2: they're ~ childhood friends ~ who have been separated for like more than a decade and reunite when midah moves back to mythland. (i envisioned this scene in my head actually—a few days before returning to mythland, midah sends sausage tons and tons of letters sealed within a thick envelope, talking about her plans to return to mythland and why. and also updating him on what's been going on in her life the past decade or so. then on the day she arrives in mythland, they have one of those cute cliche scenes where they run towards each other on a long path and hug each other at the middle. and they cry a bit and talk and marvel about how long its been since they last saw each other. its really sweet ugh)

in this backstory midah was actually part of one of mythland's noble families. i made up some lore where mythland used to be ruled by four noble families (among them were house sausage, which is where sausage comes from duh, and house lavendar, where midah comes from, and yea it's intentionally spelled that way). the noble families/houses went to war with each other for power over mythland and the other two houses were defeated. most members of house lavendar left of their own accord and the rest that remained renounced their noble lineage, leaving house sausage who became the ruling family of mythland. the members of house lavendar specialized in blood magic and a lot of advanced complex blood spells were created by them. hence they have connections to the blood sheep in some way.

i like the longtime friends/allies to lovers dynamic that's going on in backstory #2 (: backstory #1 is still cool in its own way, strangers to lovers is nice, getting to know each other on purpose bc uu find each other intriguing is nice, even though uu might think uur very different people at first, uu get to know the other person a bit more and uu find out things about them and uu realize uur not so different after all ^_^ i read smtg about that once, about loving each other on purpose and choosing to love each other even though uu don't have years and years of history with the other person, and uu grew up completely without them and uur roots aren't tangled with theirs. but still uu love them. and that's very beautiful

okay umm this is getting to be a lot lol i think I'll cap it here, maybe the next time someone sends a 🪽 emoji I'll do a pt2 bc i still have more to say LOL

[betaamity]

Honestly my only plan for art in general lately is to just. Draw and write more content with two ocs I made for a class that I like way too much now

[lonleywriters-blog]

hey idk if youre open or not but! if you are can i please have a matchup for brandon rogers? thank you !! <3

♡ im 4'11" / 150 cm

♡ im a bisexual demigirl (i use she/they prns)

♡ infp 4w3 pisces

♡ i can wear any type of clothing style (masc / femme) but i love wearing clothes that make me feel androgynous

♡ i have very pale skin, grey blue eyes, black dyed hair that is collarbone length with a bright red streak on my side bang, and im curvy (big thighs, big breasts, mid sized tummy, and wide hips with a small waist)

♡ i am goth (vampire/romantic/casual goth)

♡ my favorite animals are dogs (mostly chihuahuas), ravens, crows, bats and cats <3

♡ i have bpd, adhd, autism and depression

♡ i always have music playing no matter what i love music so so so much i like every genre of music (yes country too)

♡ i love horror, vampires, clowns, blood and makeup/fashion

♡ i hate medicine, bugs, irl narcissists lol narcissistic character are fine, dizziness, and people not listening to me when im trying to speak to them

♡ my hobbies include singing, doing my makeup, editing and listening to music

♡ i have a very motherly side which makes me care for a lot of things and make sure my friends are always okay :D

♡ i kin bryce, bobby and blah blah the clown :)

Okay I thought of two people instantly

He loves your style and hair. He will make fun of your height just because he's him. You and him like a lot of the same things and I feel like he would enjoy listening to music with you. He reminds me of a crow so you might like him because of that. He is OBSESSED with your thighs. He understands what it's like to have mental health issues and he is there for you. Will ask you to do his makeup.

I feel like he is very laid back and caring and that may click with you. He also reminds me a lot of a cat. You both dye/bleach your hair together. He loves to listen to music and always gives you the aux. Understands and know how to help with mental illness. He really hates people who don't listen. He loves when you're mother side comes out, he's never had someone be there for him like that.

[lostinanothersmemories]

sam, quinn & alexis going yandere for darlin 👀

Anon i'm gonna say this in the most loving way i can.

Do you kin Darlin? Also are you permanently in the thought process "I just want to be important to anyone"? <3

Yandere vampires for darlin because im a masochist (is it bad that I had a lot of fun writing this?)

Yandere warnings again! <3

It was to protect them. He just wanted to protect them. It's what he told himself time and time again when he saw the chain around their ankle the bruises it was causing. He needed to protect them, he needed to be there to act as a barrier. He needs them why can't they understand that?

He knew it was a mistake to take them to a solstice ball. The moment Alexis set her eyes on them it was practically over. With a vampire nearly thirty years into immortality and the progeny of a king Sam knew there was no chance. He offered an ultimatum over his Darlin' unconscious body. He stays with them, he always stays with them.

They didn't even lock him away kept the shifter nice and locked up tight but Sam knew he could leave he could walk away. With the times they are both gone it would even could be possible for both of them to get away. He could at least find someone, tell anyone of the horrific result of his wolfs hunt. He'd talked to David, he'd talked to Will yet the words could never escape his lips. He'd kept their secrets their secret of keeping his love in chains.

Even while Sam held them in his arms while they pleaded, "Please just tell David, tell Sam you can leave if you tell someone they could help, Sam plea-"

"Enough darlin' it's too dangerous."

It was the first time they made the accusation that they pushed away from him asking "Too dangerous because of Alexis and Quinn? Or too dangerous because I won't be stuck in some cabin constantly."

"Come back to my arms, please."

"Get away from me."

Alexis saw the way the started putting distance between them and Sam how they'd snap at anyone getting close, it was cute acting like they had fangs. Sam hated how Alexis would let her hands roam over their body tilting their chin away proposing the solution to the wolfs temper, to them acting out.

He hated how Quinn knew them better than he did would whisper memories into their ears while they only help they are strong enough not to crack under the pressure.

None notice the way the wall has been torn at, none of them notice until it's just a bit too late. The bolts into the wall that would keep the little wolf in place torn out. Chain missing entirely. The forest was vast but a tired wolf only has so much energy and three well fed vampires need their toy back.

It's Sam that finds them. Hiding beside a fallen tree just hoping for a moment to catch their breath. They flinch at his voice whispering out pleads terrified of attracting the others. They remember the Sam who would chastise them for not eating yet wouldn't spoon feed them, the Sam who was scared of their alpha. They only hope there's enough left.

"I'm sorry darlin' it's too dangerous out here for you. Please don't make this harder than it has to be."

He carries them back despite how they scream how they try to hurt him in every method they can. Looking for a falter in how they blame him for his own death, looking for a wince in how they scream how they wished they never met him.

[palimpsessed]

Thank you for the tag back @nick-eyre ! I am rabid for your Simon and Lady Ruth hug WIP 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 #Let Simon have a grandma who loves him 2021! I am also counting @stillmadaboutpetra ’s open tag because I always love seeing what you’re working on 🥰 And @sharing-a-room-with-an-open-fire tagged me a couple days ago! ❤️

I have no WIPs atm because I just posted two (and a half) art pieces and two fics this past weekend!! 🎉🎉🎉

Which means 1. I have to get my butt moving on the Art Remix. And 2. Shameless self promotion!!! (Nick said I could! 😌)

So here are some teasers from both of my new fics, which are still posting so I think they probably count anyway. And a reminder to go check out the AMAZING fics I got to make art for as part of COBB! Seriously, they’re both so good please go give them a read and some love if you haven’t!!!!

Strangers Like Me by @otherworldsivelivedin

Easy Come, Easy Go (M) by @krisrix

Here’s a little from one of the texting convos that @flammable-grimm-pitch and I improvised in real time over discord with her writing for Simon and me writing for Baz from our texting/tennis COBB, Sleeping with the Fishes (M). Definitely go check out the fantastic cover art @mae-berry made for us!

(Simon in bold and Baz in italics)

(18:40) I won’t report you.

(18:40) omfg baz THANK U

(18:40) this wont happen again

(18:40) But I don’t do favours, Snow.

(18:41) no yeah totally

(18:41) I expect you to do something for me in return.

(18:41) uh

(18:41) like wut?

(18:41) i was just kidding abotu the body thing btw so like

(18:41) if u need that kind of help id call dev or smthing

(18:42) I can dump my own bodies, thank you very much.

(18:42) haha right 😅

And ofc I have to include something from my pièce de résistance Chamber by Chamber (M). Part One is up now and Part Two will go live this Saturday, June 26! (I have shared so many snippets of this fic by now I can’t even remember what I have or haven’t teased 😅)

I roll my eyes. "What do you want me to say, then? You obviously think you already know everything."

"I don't," he says, quickly, but he sounds sincere. "I'm just worried about you, and I've seen you like this before. It's better than it used to be, and it's not constant. But lately, it's felt that way. If you're struggling, you need to talk about it. With me, or with your therapist, or with Bunce. Don't keep it all inside and buried down where you pretend it doesn't exist until you break."

"I'm not going to break," I insist, even though I don't quite succeed in getting the conviction behind my voice a statement like that needs to be believable.

"I don't want you to." His voice has gone a bit soft, and he's looking at me with those droopy dog eyes of his full of some kind of emotion.

I hereby tag, with no pressure whatsoever: everyone tagged above AND @adamarks @amphipodgirl @amywaterwings @angelsfalling16 @annabellelux @aristocratic-otter @arca9 @banjjakbanjjak @bazzybelle @bonappetart @caitybuglove23 @captain-aralias @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @cynopoe @dreamingkc @effing-numpties @fight-surrender @findingniamho @foolofabookwyrm @gampyre @hufflepunky @im-gettingby @laeve-leve @letraspal @twokisses @ninemagicks @phoxphyre @pipsqueakparker @scone-lover @seducing-a-vampire @snowybank @stardustasincocaine @subparselkie @super-duper-twelve @tea-brigade @theflyingpeach @thehoneyedhufflepuff @unseelieseelie @urban-sith @vampire-named-gampire @vkelleyart @wetheformidables @wunder-kin @xivz

[okd-blr]

Who is the admin

Basics:

While Im sure most of you can figure out who runs this blog, especially if you visit the OKD home page, for use on this blog go ahead and call me V.

I’m 28 years old, if you are a minor who does not wish for adult interaction please be aware of this.

I am a bisexual pre/non transitioned Trans man and use he/they pronouns

While I do not have a current diagnosis I am not neurotypical, very likely I have ADHD

And if any of this matter to you I’m an Aries, a Slytherin and a Furry

Kintypes:

I have three different types-2 kintypes, a Theriotype and a fictotype.

My first kintype technically falls under a few different labels, but would most easily be described as a Cthonic type divine. My other kintype is that of a vampiric like animal/human shapeshifter. these two kintypes tend to be very fluid and blend together.

My theriotype is that of a melanistic jaguar like is depicted in the blog icon

My Fictotype is that of a specific character portrayed on a canadian TV drama that is an Unseelie Fae

Experience as otherkin and in the community: 

I first came to the conclusion that I might, in some way, not be entirely human 16 years ago.

At the time Vampire was the only thing I could really think of-as my grandmother was fully invested in the ideas of the Satanic Panic and had assured me as a child vampires and witches were absolutely real (she was right of course but not in the way she imagined) 

At first I dismissed this idea as the imaginings of a lonely, bullied child who wanted to be special and wished for control and power in their life. yes I was pretty quick on the critical thinking train.

However the experiences I had, the feelings I had that lead me to initially suspect being nonhuman did not go away despite my skepticism and so I would explore it in small ways until roughly 2004 when i would stumble across resources for the Real Vampire community and a small-likely now gone-page for the ‘were’ community ( the label used prior to Therianthropy) 

I read through these sites-especially the resources on vampirism, very thoroughly-though I did not join the forums as I was not allowed to do that kind of thing because of aforementioned paranoid grandmother. 

In high school I had a number of friends who claimed to be vampires, witches, reincarnated angels and such but it was clear pretty much from the beginning that this was just a game to them and they tended to engage in lots of drama and pretty teenage backstabbing and gossip. I largely managed to avoid this by claiming to be a “solitary’ vampire.

There were others I would meet in college who would, for a while, genuinely believe these kinds of things but feel out of it again after a few years-again I was the only one who remained serious about these experiences and identity.

In early 2009 during my third semester of college I would discover the forum TherianWilderness via someones Deviantart signature. Being a now independent adult I signed up, and from there also signed up for Werelist. Mostly at this time I was exploring my theriotype and the shapeshifter kintype. 

I would later bring up the subject of incarnated angels on Werelist and be directed to otherkin specific forums such as OtherkinPhenomena and OtherkinAlliance. (Though I ended up with an account on nearly every active Otherkin forum at the time, OKA was where I eventually settled down) from there 

I would begin much more serious introspection and personal growth not only related to my being Otherkin but also in relation to the rest of my spirituality. in this facet the older members of these forums were a huge asset to me and I continue to value their input and opinions on the subject-even though the group from those days has largely drifted away from each other. This same group of people would also be active in specific Otherkin circles and groups on Livejournal and then Dreamwidth.

In 2011 I would found Otherkin-Deviants on DeviantArt.com-At the time it was one of the few groups that was not Therian specific and in the ensuing 7 nyears it has become one of the largest Alterhuman related groups on Deviantart at over 350 members. 

Also in early 2011 I would create a Tumblr account. At this time there was no Otherkin community here and my main blog was almost entirely Harry Potter related. After some explosive life stuff I would be gone from the internet for a year-when I returned to Tumblr in April 2012 the Otherkin tag on Tumblr was in full swing and already full of drama, misinformation, trolls and a bunch of other ridiculous crap. So of course I rolled up my selves and went to work correcting what i could and attempting to police/moderate a community that inherently can not be moderated on this particular medium. It was all very dramatic, theres was lots of yelling and by 2014 I was sick of it all and decided to take a break from the kin community-aside from a select few people who I enjoyed talking to. 

Sometime in early 2016 I decided it was time to end my hiatus and take a peak back into the tags-annnnd it pretty much hadn't changed. but I was much better at handling The Discourse at that point and knew when to disengage. 

Sometime not too long after my return I would realize the fae kintype I had been unsure  of and questioning for nearly 10 years was, in fact, a fictotype. 

And while I had only been gone fro about two years-there didn't seem to be very many kin left in the tags who remembered me so establishing myself as a knowledgeable person within the community was starting over from scratch. I still wouldn't say I’m exactly a go to person when it comes to correcting misinformation-because while I do do that on my personal kin blogs those blogs are mostly for me to log my own personal experiences.

That brings us up to now-where I have created this extension of the OKD deviant art group. This blog has the same purpose as the original group-to showcase community art and creativity and foster a place for open and civil discussion and education. Though this is one of many ‘kin help blogs’ many of the blogs out there that claim to be information or for helping Otherkin/Therian/Fictionkin are FULL of misinformation and the mods of those blogs do not always take well to being corrected. 

So, to summarize- I realized I was Otherkin 16 years ago, prior to ever knowing there was a community- and have been an active participant and admin of my own groups for the last close to 9 years-on a verity of different mediums from forums to chats to Tumblr, Amino and Discord. 

Who I am otherwise: 

I am a freelance artist living in the US with my fiance and our son and cats.

 I love TV, films and books-especially the horror, scifi, and fantasy genres. I identify as being somewhere between Punk and Goth and truly love the music from both subcultures-though I also love music from many other different genres. I also greatly enjoy table top gaming and it would be really cool if I actually had time to join a D&D campaign. 

I joyfully engage in fandom and shipping and spend probably too much time looking at fanart and reading fanfiction. If you're interested ask me for my fandom blog :3

As mentioned earlier, I am a furry and enjoy the art and interactions of the furry community. As an artist I particularly enjoy how wonderful the furry community is about supporting artists. 

Most of my time however is probably spent stressing about pretty typical things like rent, utility bills, car repairs and home maintenance. I may not be human on the inside but rent is rent no matter who, or what, you are. 

[dotbammie]

Protection// Im Jaebum(Part 6)

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

Genre: Supernatural, Vampire

Summary: After being saved from an absolute stranger, you find yourself in a different world; A world you never knew existed, a world where you find yourself less protected than before.

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry for the wait! But I believe that this is one of my favorite chapters yet, so please enjoy!

xoxo Sara

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12

You had felt as if you had regained all of your strength during the first week that you stayed with the boyd, but yet, you weren’t allowed to leave the confinements of the underground basement. You had memorized everything in the apartment by now; the cracks in the black brick walls, the way some swirls in the rug on the floor of the bathroom don’t seem to line up with others. You even noticed the cleanliness of the boys; how Youngjae seemed to keep his room the cleanest, and how Bambam never seemed to leave his.

Over the days you had stayed with the four boys, you had learned about each of them more and more. You had assumed that they were all similar when you first met them, but over the time you observed them, they were all quite the opposite.

Jackson was the loudest of the group, it seemed; he was always laughing and giggling loudly, screaming over the blaring music that came from Bambam’s room when the others would only whisper. He seemed to be the mood maker of the group as well. If anyone need any cheering up, Jackson was the one to do it. He took the time to learn about all of the things that you liked, even the small things. Whenever you felt as if you were so sad you simply wanted to break free, Jackson was the one who went out and bought you your favorite candies, or maybe even a blanket, just so you would feel more at home and less of an outsider while you were staying with them.

Youngjae was the kindest of the group to you. He was the most accepting of you when you first came, and like Jackson, he always wanted to make you happy, even if it was just by doing the little things. He even set you a place at the table where they usually ate their dinner, inviting you over to eat with them and giving you some of the food off of his plate, saying you would need it for strength if the time of a battle ever came. He seemed to like to be with you as well. When Jackson and Jaebum had left during the day, both doing odd jobs to make money and doing more investigation on The Kin, Youngjae stayed on the couch with you and watched TV, all the while comforting you over the fact that you weren’t allowed to leave. On the days where you were so anxious to escape, Youngjae would sit with you and almost make you feel as if you were a part of the pack.

Bambam seemed the most difficult to get along with, and you hadn’t the slightest idea as to why. He seemed very off put by your stay with them, and he simply wanted you to leave the house, and leave his sight. You tried to talk to him many times,always trying to strike up a conversation as he sat on your couch-bed watching tv, but he never seemed to want to talk to you. You could tell by how his demeanor changed when you were in the room, that he wasn’t normally like that. He wasn’t normally so angry and cold. You didn’t know why you had all of a sudden made him angry and cold, but you did, and it made you curious to find out more about him.

And last was Jaebum. You hadn’t gotten to spend any moments with him alone, due to the fact that he was the soul provider of the house, and was usually out on jobs, but whenever he was home, he seemed to take care of you. He made you dinner and made sure you were always comfortable, and he even offered to let you take his bed, because he knew how hurtful the couch could be on your back. You politely declined, though, not wanting to make it seem as if you were completely okay with the fact that your fate was practically set in stone, and that you were you meant to be with him. He leant you some of his clothes to wear during your stay, even though you told him it was completely fine for him to go into your apartment and quickly grab some of the things he would think that you need. Though you were never really alone with him, besides of the first night you stayed there, he always seemed to know what you needed. If you needed a mug of hot chocolate, within minutes, Jaebum would have one for you, even if you didn’t say that you needed one out loud.

Upon your request, Youngjae bought many books from the other world for you to read; informational books on the evolution of vampires, where they came from, how to become one, and all of the bodily chemistry about them. You had wondered why your mother was apparently so intrigued about vampires, and you finally found out why; the chemical reactions that occur inside of them when they gain blood or change another human into a vampire is incredible. You learned the reason as to why their bodies stop aging once they’ve been changed and why they react so harshly to sunlight.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Youngjae hummed one day, entering the living room with a new book in his hand, “I have a new book for you.”

“Oh, give it,” you smiled, reaching out for it. He placed it in your hand and smiled at you.

“It’s a book about your mom.”

Jackson had made you realize that, the mother you had when you were younger, wasn’t actually our mother, but it was Yugyeom’s. You read about your actual mother nightly as soon as Youngjae began bringing book upon book about her from the other world; reading about her sweet and kind demeanor, how she often cared for anyone who needed help and how she would do anything to help another living soul. You read about how she came to the throne and defeated the ones who ruled before her, how she was a scientist and how she had a lab underneath the castle she stayed in, where she kept all of her secret potions, ones that weren’t stable for both the human and vampire world. You had even seen pictures of her; and she was incredibly beautiful. She had long, flowy hair, beautiful lips and, as Jackson had said, a nose eerily similar to yours.

You had often fallen asleep while reading about her, the book often lying on your chest as you rested your back on the couch. Jaebum came home one night, late from working a job to earn money, and he found you sound asleep on the couch in that position. He found it heartwarming, how you were so interested in the vampire world now that they had told you about it, and how big of a roll you played in it. He also found it heartwarming how much you wanted to learn about your mother, and all of the tiny quirks that she had that you had maybe taken after her. He took the book from your hands, making sure he wrapped you tightly in the blanket, before he left for bed himself.

The next morning after you woke, you  were determined to get Bambam to open up to you. You had no idea how, but you needed to. You were sick of the coldness that radiated off of him whenever you were near him, and you were determined to put an end to it, no matter if it took a week, or three years.

You began thinking of ways to get alone with him, somehow, but you hadn’t had the slightest idea on how to execute any of your plans. He was always in his room with the door locked, blasting music until he fell asleep. He only came out to eat, and even then, as soon as he was done, he would head straight back into his room.

You sat at the table with him and Youngjae in silence, watching as he dug into his cereal, when you saw Jaebum come from down the hallway.

“Youngjae,” Jaebum said, patting down his coat as he looked for his keys, “Get your coat on. You’re coming on a job with Jackson and I.”

Following Jaebum’s orders without hesitation, Youngjae walked over to the coat rack, leaving you and Bambam at the table.

“What, and I don’t get to go either?” Bambam hissed, looking at you through his peripheral vision before looking back at Jaebum, “Am I babysitting her or something?  Is she not old enough to watch herself?”

“Hey,” Jaebum said sternly, looking at Bambam as he reached for the door handle, “It’s not babysitting. Give her some respect, yeah? We know, you can’t stand her. But you have to stay with her to make sure she doesn’t get hurt. She may have some vampire in her, but she hasn’t learned how to channel it properly and safely. Until then, she is our responsibility and we can’t let her get hurt. So today, you’re watching her while us three are out on a job.”

“That’s bullshit,” Bambam growled, standing up abruptly from the table and taking his bowl along with him as he went to the sink, “Why can’t Youngjae stay with her then, if you know I don’t like her?”

“Because, Youngjae is stronger than you Bambam. No matter if you want to admit it or not, he has more experience in the sun than you do, and this particular job requires us staying out in the sun for long periods of time with little to no breaks. Don’t be a cry-baby and just watch her, won’t you? She won’t bother you.”

You looked at Bambam slightly, catching his stare before looking away.

“Do I have to stay in the same room in her?”

“Yes,” Jaebum said, “And that’s an order. God forbid if the Kin were to break in and you were in your room, blasting music without knowing what was going on.”

“And what, do I have to follow her when she takes a piss too?”

“Enough,” Jaebum growled, slamming his fist against the door, startling you and Bambam enough to shut him up. “Why are you acting so immature today, Bambam? Are you really upset that you can’t go on this job with us? Or is it all because you harbor negative feelings towards (Y/N)? And, why do you even feel that way, anyway? She has never done anything personally to hurt you. Is it because you still believe in your head that she took away your best friend without meaning to? Is that it? Because trust me, if we were all allowed to be angry over something so trivial and useless like that, then I would be furious at her too. Grow the fuck up, Bambam. I didn’t think the fact that you were turned at such a young age affected your mentality.”

Jaebum looked at Youngjae with a stern look while Jackson came walking in behind them, fixing his coat along the way. Jackson noticed the tension in the room almost instantly, making him raise an eyebrow at Jaebum. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Jaebum said lowly as he opened the door, “We’ll be back later tonight. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

Without even another glance at Bambam, Jaebum left the room, Youngjae following behind. Jackson looked at you both hesitantly.

“Wh-”

“Jackson,” Jaebum called from down the hallway before Jackson could get any words out, “Come, now.”

Jackson sighed softly, walking over to the door and looking back at you again. “You’re going to tell me later.”

And with that, the three boys were gone, leaving you alone with Bambam. It was what you wanted originally, but you could tell that Bambam was not in the mood.

It had been around an hour or so since the three left you alone with Bambam. You sat at the table, continuing to read the books Youngjae had got you, while Bambam sat on the couch, traveling through the channels without a care in the world. You decided to stay out of his way for a little bit, waiting until he seemed to physically calm down. You didn’t want to go and talk to him and accidentally set him off, causing him to hate you even more than he did.

You looked at him constantly, just to quickly look away in fear of him catching your stares. You weren’t sure what made him tick, but what Jaebum had said before he left had rang your head the whole time you were reading.

‘Is it because you still believe in your head that she took away your best friend without meaning to’

‘Who was his best friend,’ you asked yourself as you zoned out, ‘Who could I have taken away from him?’

“Are you going to stare the whole time you read?” His voice pulled you from your thoughts, causing a blush to stain your cheeks, “Maybe you should take a picture.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled, looking back at your book. It was then that you decided, enough was enough. You closed your book slowly, standing up from the table and making your way over to the couch where he sat. You sat down, not dangerously close to him, but close enough to where he couldn’t leave.

“Why are you s-”

“Why do you hate me, Bambam?” You interrupted him, looking at him blankly as you awaited his answer. He looked at you slightly, only to turn back away and looking at the TV.

“You’re a nuisance.”

“How am I a nuisance?” You asked softly, “I don’t do much to you. The only time I bother you is when I need to sleep and you’re out here until four in the morning watching TV. Other than that, I barely talk to you. And Jaebum said something b-”

“He was wrong,” Bambam growled, gripping the remote tightly in his hand, “He was wrong. You didn’t take anyone away from me. I don’t have any friends.”

“But, what about your pack?” You questioned, “Wouldn’t they be upset if they heard you say that you weren’t friends with them? Don’t you care for them? They provide a place for you to stay and food for you to eat after all.”

Bambam looked at you through his peripheral vision yet again, before letting a soft scoff leave his lips.

“They all treat me like a child anyway.”

“Well, because you’ve been acting like one,” you looked away from him, but you were able to feel his sudden stare on you as if it held the heat of a thousand suns on the back of your head.

“And in what place are you to say that i’m acting like a child?” he asked, almost as if he were spitting out venom with each word, “You’ve been here for what, a week? And now you act as if you know everything about everyone in this house. You know little to nothing about them, and you know absolutely nothing about me and my past.”

“I’m not trying to act as if I know everything,” you defended, “I’m just saying what i’ve noticed since i’ve been here, especially towards me. But I want to know more about you, Bambam. Not only because I want to find out about the actual reason as to why you hate me, but because underneath, you seem to be fairly nice. It’s only when i’m not in the room that you turn into someone cold and heartless.”

“Don’t act as if you can see right through me or something. You aren’t some high and all knowing God who can just, tell me what i’m feeling. You’re a know-it-all. Or you’re trying to be one. And it’s irritating.”

“So, wanting to know about someone is considered a know-it-all now?” you sighed, rolling your eyes, “I’m just trying to understand what the fuck I did to make you hate me so much, Bambam? Would you tell me if I annoyed you? If I cried? If I was rough with you instead of being a shy little lamb?”

You had finally snapped; you began pushing his arm repetitively, begging for an answer.

“Why do you hate me so fucking much Bambam? Why do you hate me as if I had taken away the only thing you ever cared about? What did I do to y-”

“Because of you, Yugyeom left our group,” Bambam yelled, slamming the TV remote against the coffee table in pure rage as he stood, “There, are you happy now? He just had to follow the other two into the Kin. His dumb ass had to listen to them when they promised to give him something that he wanted so desperately, even though I kept telling him it was a bad idea.”

Soon the anger began to wash away, but instead, remorse and regret filled his eyes.

“Why didn’t he listen to me? He always listened to me before they came along. Before they got into Jinyoung’s brain, Yugyeom always listened to me. But then they infected Jinyoung with whatever sort of mind control they fucking use, and Yugyeom immediately followed. Why couldn’t he have listened to me?”

You watched as he tried to cover up his emotions. He clenched both his jaw and his fists tightly, keeping eye contact away from you. You were going to pry him open somehow, and this was your chance.

You rested a hand on his arm, causing his attention to waver to you for only a second before it went back to the TV. The static from the TV was the only noise the emerged from the room for a couple of seconds, until you began to speak.

“Bambam...What did they promise Yugyeom? If it was important to him, of course he would go after it… But, what was it that he needed so badly?”

“They promised him that he would be able to see you,” he said after a moment, his grip so tight in his own fists that the veins in his arms began to pop out, “They promised him that he would get the chance to see you.”

He looked at you, his eyes glossing over slightly with tears. “He’s been searching for you, (Y/N). He told me all about you, all the time. How he got to take care of you until you turned four. How after his mom passed away, you were the only family he had, even though you weren’t related by blood. And he tried so desperately, for years and years to find you, but they never let him enter the human world. The Kin promised him a chance to go to the human world, and that he could see you again.”

You felt your heart swell at his words; no wonder why he was so angry at you. In his mind, you were truly the reason why his best friend was swept away by such an evil organization.

“But, they didn’t tell him that he was going to be forced to execute you if he saw you. So now, he’s there miserable because of the fact that he has to kill you, or else he will have to take the fall and offer himself. And i’m miserable here because I know that if he knew you were safe here with us, that he’d take the fall gladly, and i’d lose my best friend.”