#(and yes; inflatable hammers are a thing at parades. I have no idea why)

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

Darkstache - Green!

A short special for the ‘Dark is colourblind’ series, since I’m Irish and I’m making the most of it being St. Patrick’s Day.

Word Count: 621

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“What.”

Dark had to do a double-take when Wilford entered the common room the Egos would take breaks in. He even went as far as taking off his glasses and cleaning them to make sure that - yes - he was seeing it correctly.

“What is that.”

Spoken as a sentence rather than a question, Dark pointed to Wilford. The reporter, in confusion, looked at the inflatable hammer in the colours of the Irish flag.

“I dunno. Irish folk like havin’ ‘em at their parades. I think their Paddy fella used some sorta hammer ta squash th’ snakes -”

“No - no, I meant your hair. What did you do to your moustache?” Dark’s question hung in the air for several long seconds as Wilford’s brain clunked to life and processed the question. Eventually, the lights turned on in his mind as realisation struck.

“Oh! Yeah! I made ‘em green fer St Patrick’s Day! I’ve done it every year fer years now. I forget ya never saw it.” He pointed to the moustache excitedly now he knew this was his lover’s first time seeing it. “Myself, Bing, Erik an’ Illinois get together an’ celebrate bein’ Irish!”

“None of us have Irish connections -”

“But it doesn’t matter! Th’ Irish are great an’ let anyone be Irish fer th’ day since it’s their way ta be all like ‘This is who we are!’. An’ Illinois has been ta Ireland a few times so it totally counts. So that’s why I dyed all my pink green today. Look look! Matching suspenders!” Wilford tugged one of them, just in case Dark didn’t notice the extra green. “Bet I could be an honorary Septic like this! Bring back th’ fans love of that green hair an’ get all th’ love!” Which reminded him! The hammer was dropped to the floor, giving a harmless squeak upon landing. Wilford pulled something that looked slightly fluffy out of his pocket. Upon seeing the green, white, and gold; Dark’s eyes widened as he stepped back.

“No. No no no. I am NOT wearing that.” Dark took a second step back as Wilford shook the colours to reveal it was an afro wig. The refusal was ignored as Wilford hastily hurried over and put it on.

“C’mon! Just fer a sec. I wanna see it!” The attempt by Dark to wriggle away failed as Wilford got to work tucking Dark’s hair under the wig. It gave him a chance to examine the green better. He lowered his head just enough to see the moustache without the help of the glasses, and it was clear how he would have missed it. The shade of grey didn’t even change. Moments like these really reminded him how much better life was with colour. 

“Hey Darkie?”

“Yes?”

The sound of a camera clicking caught his attention, and Wilford’s phone was quickly spun around to show Dark the image. It was of the entity, looking up at the camera with a hint of a smile on his lips. The colourful wig was in stark contrast to his overall appearance, yet he didn’t feel humiliated at the sight.

“I look ridiculous,” he said, the bizarreness of the moment making him laugh.

“But ya look so cute,” Wilford simply argued, leaning over to peck Dark on the nose. In response, Dark wrapped an arm around Wilford’s neck and pulled him in for a quick kiss.

“I’m quite surprised you would turn your beloved pink green for a day. You must be looking forward to the eighteenth.” 

Wilford simply grinned with mischief. He whispered “I dyed it” as he kissed Dark again, not giving the other a chance to realise he would be stuck looking at the green for at least a fortnight.