#(avvar astoria who IS tainted??? OOF it's sad it's delicious it makes me want to roll around in the mud during a rain storm)

[softersinned-arc]

i’m finishing up awakening and have more thoughts (shocking) on astoria during this timeline. all character-specific interactions are, of course, subject to change to respect the preferences of writing partners who are writing those characters! but here we go —

she’s great to have around the vigil because she’s probably both at least a little familiar with the layout, given that her father was one of howe’s vassals, and she’ll be able to identify and give background on a lot of the avvar connections. (which, just a little sidebar, it is SO cool to see how much the avvar have maintained over the thousand-plus years from the last time they held the vigil to when we meet them more thoroughly in inquisition, which speaks to the strength of their oral traditions especially, considering that the environmental conditions in the frostbacks aren’t really lending themselves to preserving written records.)

she probably knows nathaniel in passing, or at the very very least, knows of him. it’ll create an interesting tension for her, and the tension between nathaniel and the warden will reflect her own internal turmoil as she tries to make sense of whether she wants to live her life as a lowlander, with her father’s family, or if she wants to live her life as an avvar, with her grandfather and uncle. nathaniel represents everything about her life in amaranthine — social obligations and nobility and aristocracy, the struggle to determine how to use one’s privilege and whether to use it, the pseudo-sacred nature of traditions. the warden represents everything about her life in the frostbacks — emphasis on a larger community, the equalizing nature of survival in a brutal setting, the absolute lack of permanence in all things.

in an official capacity she’s probably acting as an assistant, essentially, for the seneschal: she knows the warden, she knows the city, she can liaise between everyone when necessary. she can navigate the nobles, and she can help the warden try to bridge that gap. in an unofficial capacity she’s hanging out with her buddies, but also, she’s kind of cataloguing the avvar presence in amaranthine. it makes her feel more herself, and less like there has to be a single choice made about who she is and what her identity is.

she asks anders to help teach her some magic. primarily, healing. during this time she gets better and more consistent with her healing. i think, though, that this is also when her healing starts to have a potentially negative impact on her, because her magic is so erratic and hard to control. for instance: the magic feels like holding her fingertips to a fire, and she eventually loses feeling in the very tips of her fingers. because her magic is erratic i think it often works without her knowledge or awareness, and so she’s often healing small injuries in her own body — which is great in theory, except that these are superficial healings. her pain tolerance gets really fucked up, and she stops recognizing how seriously she might be injured unless someone else is there to check or point it out.

i also think she takes care of ser pounce after anders leaves. i like to imagine astoria sitting on the walls with pounce in her lap at night. she’ll pick up any other stray cats she finds, too.

at the start of awakening, astoria’s cut her hair — not very short, but it goes from near-waist-length to an inch or two past her shoulders. she wears her hair down more often, rather than in braids like she did during the blight.

during astoria’s personal quest in origins, she’ll have revealed to the warden that, as per avvar belief, blighted bodies cannot be taken to the lady of the skies, and therefore the blighted person will wander aimlessly for eternity. on a practical level she knows this is to prevent spreading the blight; on a personal level it’s a deep and persistent fear. that fear returns during awakening. during this time, she also starts to think more about her experience at the resting place of the sacred ashes, and questioning whether or not she believes in the maker and andraste. it’s a period of serious self-evaluation.

finally, a note on my dragon age verses in general — i do have default world states and a default ship for this verse. unless we’re leaving something open for a ship to potentially develop, or i’m writing with another hero of ferelden / cousland, astoria is involved with and, by inquisition, married to ellis cousland. if not ellis, the default warden is my own — alix tabris — unless we’ve plotted otherwise, and the default hawke is also my own — amara, red warrior — unless plotted otherwise. astoria leaves hawke in the fade. i am always super open to developing ships or working with a different world state, so please don’t be shy about suggesting it! this is just a general note on this au.