#(kokichi and shuichi's relationship is just. the love suite but x200)

[cabotinageking]

(this is entirely @killingsim ‘s fault. i’m going to have to redo my verses just to add this.  the context is- remnant verse? remnant au. this is so cursed and feral im so sorry)

Footsteps echoed across cold concrete. The whirr of machines could be heard under the pulse of pop music. If you listened closely, beyond that, you might hear a giggle echo through the grimy air, light feet dancing over the rooftops, the pop of anything from soda bottles to explosives. 

It meant one thing, and that one thing was good for absolutely nobody. 

DICE were out.

A series of city maps and pipelines were spread over a desk in the center of an empty restaurant- a building that was bustling during the day, during the evening, but in the dead of night was empty- except for the overly dramatic candlelight flickering over the plans made inside, for the clowns crawling over it like trussed-up gargoyles. A spread of delicate desserts laid out on a nearby table, decorated with confectionery glitter. The leader of the group grabbed a strawberry puff and stuffed it in his mouth as he surveyed the maps again, ignoring the muffled noises coming from behind him. 

“You said he took the bait, right?”

A girl who was by no means old enough to be out this late, let alone in the sort of company she was keeping, nodded once, an almost dreamy smile settling on her face. “We probably have a few hours,” she said softly, flicking a curled ponytail over her shoulder- pink butterfly hairclips contrasting with the blood soaked into her straightjacket uniform.

What sort of monster would drag children into a mess like this? 

Kokichi leaned over absent-mindedly to ruffle her hair, a gesture that might have been sweet in any other context- but this was no kindly older brother, just a leader and his adoring followers, crowding closer, eager for approval. “Excellent,” he said, withdrawing his hand to clap, to spin around with a twirl of his cloak that threatened to blow out the elegant candles. “Well, knowing my beloved Saihara-chan, anything could happen! So, group A- positions, now. Waiting at the ready.” Chin tipped to the side, for just a moment, that childish smile flickered into something darker. “You won’t let me down, will you?”

Hastily tripping over themselves to comply, the group scattered over the building; some slipping through windows to climb onto the roof, some darting through the roofbeams, some tucking themselves into nooks and crannies or hanging from the outside walls. DICE was made up of kids and runaways, people easy to induct and difficult to protect- but Kokichi wasn’t just any leader of strays. Once upon a time, he used to run from the police, escape by the skin of his teeth, struggle to keep ten teenagers housed and fed and happy. He used to set up city-wide pranks, guerilla performances, art projects that were still standing even now.

He thought a little bigger, these days.

“Group B, collect the machines. I want the explosives set up with time to spare. Get to it!” He clapped his hands twice, cheery and sweet, and watched the rest of them scurry off to get to business. Left on his own, he paced through the center of the restaurant, humming along to the music he was playing, picking strawberries from a glass bowl and sipping champagne mixed with cheap soft drinks. They don’t tell you this, but supervillains end up with a lot of downtime on their hands when it comes to waiting for their pin-striped heroes to show up. Kokichi usually used this time to plot ahead for future events- Saihara-chan was just so picky about chasing him, so Kokichi liked to give him several leads a day- even if he usually only ended following a few throughout the week, when Kokichi directly interfered in his cases. He complained about the inconvenience a lot, but how else was Kokichi supposed to get his attention when he was always ignoring his other invitations?

Trailing his fingers through the mix of berries, Kokichi finally glanced up when the muffled sounds started to rise above the music. He raised an eyebrow, swinging away from the table to bend at the waist and stare at his guest with all the cheerful invitation he could muster. 

Center-stage, middle of the restaurant, the trapped man seemed to have woken up enough to start to struggle, trying to raise his voice above the tape on his mouth, pull away from the ticking devices strapped to his limbs. Kokichi gave him one of his brightest smiles, tucking his arms behind his back. “Look’s like sleeping beauty’s up and present with us,” he called to the others, walking over to stop right in front of the man. Leaning down, he flicked him on the forehead, letting out a little laugh. “Bet you’re pretty confused, huh? Well, I have good news and bad news.”

Raising a finger, he tilted his head to the side. “The good news is that I’m not your original kidnapper- or even associated with her. In fact, depending on what my beloved detective is currently up to, she might not be a problem for you anymore.” 

The smile on his face sharped, darkness crossing over his eyes. “The bad news is that I’m much, much scarier.”

Immediately, the man began struggling again, tugging at his restraints, trying to make guttural noises in the back of his throat. Kokichi sighed and turned away, his voice similar to a disappointed child’s. “If he doesn’t shut up, someone cut out his tongue,” he complained, twirling a finger through his hair. “He’s ruining the atmosphere.” Sure, he was usually in the mood for screams that died into pathetic whimpering, for the look in someone’s eyes as blood dripped from their ears, for the ways they tried to bargain with him as he played games to win their fingers. But tonight was supposed to be special- he was in such a nice restaurant, and he’d got a really good game planned, and he was hoping it would all be- dare he say- romantic. Just him, and his detective, one of them holding a knife, dancing over a chessboard- maybe if he was lucky, Saihara would win the game and decide to linger anyway…. Maybe he’d make an attempt on Kokichi’s life just for him to slip away at the last moment…. It was going to be perfect. 

Unfortunately, someone trying to whine past their duct-tape gag was going to ruin that atmosphere. Kokichi wanted this hostage to stay delicate and fragile in the center of the room, like a good damsel in distress. If he had to sedate him, that was fine, but he’d prefer he were conscious to watch the dance between villain and hero, to desperately cheer on his perceived savior, before Saihara crossed over to collect him… Hey, there was a reason Kokichi liked him so much.

“Boss?”

Stirring from his daydream, Kokichi reached for a knife and flipped it from hand to hand. “Mm? What is it? A message from my beloved?” He batted his eyelashes.

“It’s from… the Warriors of Hope, boss.” The boy fidgeted in some kind of eager anxiety- he must have been about the same age as Kokichi, but had at least a foot of height on him, which was probably why his posture was so bowed.

Kokichi waved a hand carelessly, turning away to pick at the bowl of strawberries again. “I said I would visit them this weekend. I’ve got important business tonight.” And he did- it was so tricky to get to Saihara’s cases before the detective himself did. Having a live victim here was a rare opportunity, and Kokichi was excited to see what the detective would do for the right to reclaim the man. 

He couldn’t see the boy’s face anymore, too busy gazing dreamily at the berry juice staining his fingers. 

“Monaca specifically requested you tonight.”

The smile slid off his face like butter. Red dripped from his hand. 

“She said you could send some of us, instead, if you wanted.”

Kokichi raised his hand to his mouth and sucked the juice off thoughtfully. It tasted oddly metallic. 

“I guess I miss those little scamps, too. Tell everyone to get back to the base,” he sighed. “It’s no fun if I can’t watch. Just blow the place in the next hour and run some of the videos for Saihara.” He considered his options as he bit at his own skin. Rearranging his face into another signature smile, he twirled around once more and walked over to pat the boy on the shoulder condescendingly. 

“Make sure you stay in touch with me, okay? Just leave everything as it is and go home. But let me know if anything weird happens- who knows if Saihara-chan might finally snap and decide he wants me dead for real.” Kokichi swooned, holding a hand to his forehead and dramatically falling back, forcing the poor boy to lunge forward and catch him before he hit the ground. “I’ll have to come back immediately if he tries anything…. I can’t risk missing my chance for him to finally catch me!” 

The boy stuttered fevered agreements as he set Kokichi back on his feet and fixed his cloak, looking away from him in nervous adoration. That was fine. It gave Kokichi a moment to think ahead.

It wasn’t Saihara he was worried about.