#(or diving so close to the sea floor ig)

[embidedbythesand]

how nature points out the folly of man (fanfic)

gvk spoilers!!! you have been warned!!!!

AN - After being diappointed by Ren's lack of character development, I decided to take matters into my own hands and at the very least gave one of the most important characters of the Monsterverse's angsty son a redemption ark. (To give sum credit where it's due this is partially inspired by 'Abraxas' (if u havent read that yet read it it's *chefs kiss*)

(Constructive criticism is always appreciated)

fanfic availiable on ffn and ao3 (when ig et an account jgjehgaeg)

Summary: For the first time in five years, Ren Serizawa was almost glad his father was dead.

We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita; Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty, and to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.'

-

He never meant for things to end up this way.

He just wanted peace.

All Ren Serizawa could think as he trudged his way up the stairs of Castle Bravo up to the flight deck was how tired he was. Yet, another sleepless night brings him back up to his best hiding spot, away from all the lights and noises and everyone and everything reminding him of what he did, what it led to.

It led to over four thousand dead.

Simmons ignored his pleas to at least test the Mecha with the energy they extracted. The man was blinded by his own fantasy of humanity reigning the earth once again to see the entity they had awoken, and Ren had been too blinded by grief to see that Walter was merely using him for his own gain, and wasn’t afraid to put him or his own daughter in harm’s way to get what he wanted.

The last thing he remembered before waking up confined to a bed in the Argo with a throbbing headache is being paralyzed by a force beyond comprehension in Monster Zero’s skull. The distorted computer’s warning drained out by the ever growing hum. And then the hum began to cackle.

Then nothing.

They said it was a miracle he was able to walk, talk or think, moreso that he was even alive.

Ren disagrees. He sees it as a curse.

The breeze greeted him immediately as he opened the door to the deck. He inhaled, tasting the salty air and exhaled, letting go of all the tension in his muscles as he did so. The night was silent minus the waves crashing below. He tried to focus on the sound as he walked towards the railing, trying to drown out the flashbacks of the god forsaken sinister voice that overflowed his brain in that machine, tormenting him, taunting him. Almost as if saying, “Now look what you’ve done little one. You awoke a force your pathetic little mind cannot even begin to conceive. You never learn. And now you will feel my rage until you can feel no more. I’ll show you. I’ll show all of you.”

As he lights a cigarette with shaky hands, Ren thinks, for the first time in five years, he was almost glad his father had died.

Blowing the smoke into the air and watching it until it diminished into nothing, he wonders what he would say to him, if anything at all. Would he even be able to even look at him? Perhaps his miraculous survival was at the thanks of him, his way of punishing him for his deadly error. He’d rebelled against his upbringing to respect the course of nature, never to fight against it. He let himself be manipulated into playing God only to become the Devil’s advocate, and he was now living in his own personal hell.

Because living with the heavy burden of his mistake was a punishment worse than death.

He’s so lost in his own head that he doesn’t even see the blue glow in the sea below beckoning closer and closer until he spots familiar dorsal fins breaking through the surface. He tumbles back and collapses to the floor, dropping his pack in the meantime, staring up in shock and amazement as the king of the monsters rises before him, staring directly back at him.

The titan his father died for. The titan he nearly killed himself trying to destroy.

Gojira.

The king looks down at him with curiosity, leaning closer with a deep bellowing rumble, close enough that he could have named the colors in his irises had it not been so dark. He huffs, the hot wind so forceful, it nearly pushes him back down again. Gojira lets a rumble escape his throat, as if he was saying, “I know you.”

Ren slowly gets back onto his feet and takes a step back, trying to control his breathing. The titan continued to stare him down inquisitively almost looking like he was trying to pinpoint where he had seen him before. Every alarm in Ren’s head rang at him to run, to say something, to do something, but he’s frozen. Whether it was from fear or awe, he’s not quite sure.

He wonders if this was how his father felt when he entered his chamber.

A growl brings him back to his majesty’s full attention, and his blood went cold.

This is it. Gojira recognizes him. He knows what he’s done and how he tried to destroy him and now he’s here to get his revenge. He braces himself and cowers down, waiting for the king to finish him and put him out of his misery. He continues to wait for the end to come, but it never came.

He just stood there, now with a mischievous look in his eyes. Ren’s blood begins to boil.

<“You BASTARD!”> he shouts in Japanese, so forceful that even Gojira looks taken aback.

<“How dare you torment me after everything! Who do you think you are?! You think you can just show yourself whenever you like, come and go as you please?! Take whatever and do whatever your heart desires and expect us to rejoice in your grace and sing kumbaya?!”> Ren stops to regain his breath, his vision beginning to blur, tears beginning to fall. He squeezes his eye shut as tight as he could, refusing to let the king see him begin to finally break after years of keeping his composure. <”My father gave you his life to you and what do you do? NOTHING! You don’t even blink! You have no remorse! He saw you as a God and valued you more than anything and you go on as if nothing happened! You took everything from me!”>

<”Then you come and taunt me! To show me how much of a coward my father’s pathetic excuse of a son is! You don’t think I know this already?! IknowIknowIknow!>”

He’s screaming through sobs now. He doesn’t care.

Looking up to the sky he shouts angrily at his father, <“Look what you’ve DONE! Look what your choice led to! Here I am breaking down to a giant ancient radioactive lizard,”> he dramatically motions his hands towards the beast while shouting to the stars, <”because you left me here! You left me behind! And now I’ve ruined everything! Is this your way of punishing me?! Is this what you want?!?!”> He hoped he could hear him.

Ren chokes and gasps for air and screams with all of his might before collapsing down onto his knees, pounding his fists onto the hard pavement like a child not getting his way, not even noticing that Gojira had moved closer to him until he falls and lands on his snout. He continues to slam his fists with his body onto him, before residing and burying his eyes into the heels of his palms, crying, <”Why did it have to be you?”> into them.

“<Why did you have to go?>”

He sobs for several more minutes, now shouting, <”I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.”> into his hands over and over until he has no more tears left to cry. Once he finally regains his breath, he shakily stands up and pats his pockets for his cigarettes again. When he doesn’t feel them in there, he looks around and doesn’t see them. Assuming they fell into the ocean during his tantrum, he sighs defeated.

Gojira rumbles to remind him he’s still there. Ren looks up at him in his eyes again. This time however, he sees the strangest thing. Recognition. Compassion, even.

After a moment, He slowly takes a step forward, and reaches his hand out to rest on his face. (Ren doesn’t have to wonder if his father did the same, he knows.)

“Sorry for hitting you.” he says. (It roughly translated to, "I'm sorry I tried to replace you. For betraying him, betraying you. I'm sorry for all of it, for evrything." and everything his throat was too sore to speak outloud)

Gojira huffs in reply.

(That roughly translated to, “I Forgive You.” he wasn't referring to the poke on snout)

Ren pulls his hand away and Gojira pulls back as well, they share one final look before the titan turns and dives back into the ocean, splashing Ren in the process and disappears below the waves.

Ren sleeps that night, a lifetime’s worth of wounds finally beginning to heal.

-

[storytimefromthecreed]

I Make My Own Luck

(14)

Trouble? He thought she would get into trouble? Shay grabbed her arm and pulled her into an alley. Jack disappeared down another one. Shay leaned over her, his hair brushing against her face when he looked over his shoulder, heard the guard coming, and rested his face down again. Shielding her from the world, she could only see his face. She had to admit, she got lost in eyes that stared down at her with such expression she couldn’t understand why her heart was hammering more now than it had in battle, or why it was suddenly hard to breathe. The steps faded away, but Shay remained where he was. 

“Um, I think they’re gone?” She whispered and, suddenly aware of their placement, Shay straightened. 

“Are you ok?” He looked away, acting like he was surveying the area, but his methods were too jumpy. His eyes went back to hers, his face flashed red, and he turned around again.

“I’m fine, yourself?” She rolled her shoulders and hopped foot to foot. Everything seemed in order. 

“I’m fine, thank you for asking. Shall we be off?” Shay gestured for her to follow him, and they made their way to the Morrigan. What he had said before the fight stayed with her. 

“The Assassins have figured out how to make the box work?” She asked as they neared the ship.

“With that Manuscript, it’ll be soon before they activate the sites and send the world to hell.” Shay was so upset of the news that lines hollowed his cheeks and pulled at his mouth. His eyes went dark as his thoughts went far away. (Y/N) wanted to spare him this pain. The Manuscript felt heavy in her jacket. She opened her mouth to tell him, to explain why she had it and her part in all this, but the ship soon showed her face, and she bit down her lips. As long as she had it, everything would be fine. Right?

Night fell and Shay was at his desk. Thoughts from the day kept her awake, and she kicked off her boots and sat at the end of her bed balancing a dagger on her fingertips. The metal reflected herself, and she stared back into her eyes. Oh how she wished her mind was balanced like the knife. It dipped one side to the other, and she frowned at how unbalanced she felt.

It was for the mission, she told herself. Shay needed to know. How was he supposed to help if he didn’t know the details? That line of questioning was rational, but she didn’t feel like that. Emotional felt the better word, but as an Assassin she was trained not to make decisions based off emotion. Emotions were like the sea, constantly changing; but facts were stable. And she needed stability.

“What did that knife do to you?” Shay joked, lowering his book to peer at her. He watched her with an amused expression that crinkled his eyes. (Y/N) realized she was making faces at the knife and stopped playing with it. Seeing her shift, the corners of his mouth pulled down and his brows went up. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to pry.”

“No,” she smiled, releasing her breath and knife. It went to the table. “No, I was just deep in thought.”

“Hm. Must have been quite a thought.” Shay continued, his eyes wary. “Would discussing it help? I am known to have my moments.” There was seriousness behind his joke. 

(Y/N) nodded to herself. “I’m nervous.”

“About the mission?” Shay put down his book and headed to the bed. He slowed himself when he came near, and indicated beside her. She nodded, and he took a seat by the pillows. “It’ll work itself out. We will succeed, you’ll see.” His smile was contagious, and she smiled in return. 

“I don’t want to lose that smile.” She said her thought aloud. Shay stammered, and she continued. “I just mean,” She threw her head back and looked up at the ceiling. “The thought that I’m thinking might upset you, and I’ve come to appreciate your friendship and don’t want to lose the way you look at me.”

Tears welled in her tears, and she frowned pushing them down. There it was. That no good emotion. She sighed, but allowed them to fall. “May I?” Shay asked, and she looked down to see him extending a hand. She shook her head. “Come on, lass. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I’ve come to think of you as a good friend. When a friend is hurting, I’d like to help, and considering that I have few of those around...” Shay cocked his head to the side, and she laughed. Tears spilled and she pat them away with her sleeves.

“Just remember that you wanted to know, and if you get mad then I ask that you don’t throw me overboard.” 

“Trust me, I’ll be a gentlemen and wait til I see land first.” They stared each other down a moment before bursting into laughter. The laughter alleviated the tension and when she spoke next, she spat out the words. 

“I have the Manuscript.” 

There. It was said. Her hand was holding his tightly, and she didn’t remember when she’d taken it. But he had been right. It helped. She couldn’t look at him, so she stared at her boots on the floor. 

His thumb gently traced the back of her hand. “And?”

(Y/N) turned her head. Of all the things she’d thought Shay would say, this did not make the list. “And?”

Shay nodded, tightening his hold on her. “Couldn’t imagine it in better hands.”

“Is that all you’re going to say, Shay? Really?”

Shay threw up his hands, hers went with him. “What would you like me to say?”

“I thought you’d be mad that I kept this from you. Maybe think I’m a liar, or untrustworthy.”

“Are you untrustworthy?” His eyes held hers and he smiled. “Knowing you have the Manuscript brings me comfort. It’s safer in your hands than anywhere else, and that gives me relief.” Now was his turn to look to the ceiling. He closed his eyes and hummed. “Huh, that could have been worse.”

“Could have been worse? I don’t understand you at all, Shay!” Her words were meant to be taken seriously, but she was laughing. “What could I have said that would have given me the reaction I was looking for?”

Shay watched her from the corner of his eye, and unless she was mistaken, he was blushing. “If you fake courted another, or... real courted.”

(Y/N)’s cheeks went aflame. When Shay looked down at her again, that usual smile just barely on his lips, the tension in the room was different. A match would ignite.

Her lips met his, and they felt like how she’s thought. Soft and full, his stubble tickling her chin. His hand went to caress her face and just like that, he pulled away.

“I-” His voice was thick, and his eyes wouldn’t focus, flitting from her eyes to her lips and back again. Raspy, he asked, “Are you sure?”

“Are you?”

Shay responded by pulling her to his mouth again and securing her by one hand while his other caressed her cheek, fingers tracing her jaw until it went to the back of her neck and tangled into her hair. The need to be close to him was intense, and she scoot closer. Shay helped her the rest of the way by pulling her to his chest. Her fingers tangled in his hair and Shay laughed.

It started off as a giggle and then turned into a chuckle rumbling from deep within his chest, shaking her. (Y/N) was practically on his chest, and she moved over to the bed to give him space. Shay didn’t let her get too far. Kicking off his boots in a swift motion, his arms wound around her waist and he kept her to his chest. She was comfortable there and tilted her head back to kiss his chin.

“What’s so funny?”

“Don’t know how I got so lucky is all.” He responded.

Instead of fighting for a better quip, she nestled against him, enjoying him massaging her scalp. “You know you’re not sleeping at the desk tonight, right?”

“If you want me here, then here is where I shall be.”

The following morning, they awoke in each others arms having spent the whole night talking. And kissing. And just being together. When morning came, they got ready for the day, got their mission, and exacted it. 

“Hope?” Shay frowned and looked far away. (Y/N) didn’t pretend the way he said her name didn’t bother her. “I pray it’s not you.”

“I take it if we’re taking down the Assassin then we best hurry it up.” Haytham read the remainder of the transcript before tucking it into his pocket. 

“Need a lookout?” (Y/N) asked, but Shay looked uncertain.

“Go on then. Can’t have you ruining the mission with a knife to your back.” Haytham said, and Shay thought it over a moment more before agreeing.

The thoughts that swirled in her head, she tried to control. He didn’t want her to come with him because it was Hope, she told herself. Why? 

She shook her head of such foolish notions. Shay hadn’t said he felt anything, but surely the night they had meant something. Right?

No! She wasn’t supposed to be thinking such things! She was working! She was an Assassin!

She knew not the goings on of his battle but, when she heard the sound of glass breaking, she bolted towards it just as a large man collided with her. Liam knocked her to the ground, groaning and sprawling beside her. Her head rang from where it had hit a rock, blood tickling her neck on it’s way to her shirt, and when she opened her eyes she found him in a similar state. 

Holding his head and pulling away to see blood, he groaned, and opened his eyes. Recognization. Rage. (Y/N)’s eyes went wide and she instictively felt her inside pocket. The Manuscript was gone. Panic set as she pat her sides, and she struggled to sit. Her heard was swimming when she looked again to Liam and found, to her horror, the Manuscript laying in the mud between them. Her reaction was slow, her mind sluggish.

“Liam, are you alright?” Instinct took over, and for a moment she forgot he was supposed to be a foe. 

He’d seen it. Diving for it before she could construct the thought to do the same, the larger man rolled, grabbed the book, and landed on top of her. Hidden blade scratching her throat, (Y/N) reflected on her life with no regret. She’d done what she’d had to for the Brotherhood, and if she was to die because of it then she could think of no other way she’d want to go. 

The defiance must have been in her eyes because Liam hesitated. If he’d been anyone else, she would’ve jammed her blade into his neck and ignored the spray of blood that rained down on her. As it was, her arms were pinned under his weight and she couldn’t hurt him. It was Liam. The same Liam who helped her up the stairs, that ensured she was taken care of during her stay at the Homestead, that entertained her with training and stories while the other Assassins disappeared. His body was crushing her so that her back was damp with mud and it was hard to draw breath. If he didn’t kill her now, then suffocation would do the job.

His own breathing was difficult. His eyes were watery and they caught hers. Then, there was a snick.

“Damn it!” He growled, his blade was gone but his hand hovered over her face. Undecision plain on it. “What the hell do you think you’re doing there? What the hell are you doing with him?” 

(Y/N) opened her mouth, gasping, “You’re wrong about him, Liam. They sites- they...” It was getting hard to think. Black dots popped in her eyes. (Y/N)’s mouth opened and closed. Liam glared down.

The sound of rain pattering on the ground was the only noise passing between them. Then, relief. “This was for our friendship.” Liam breathed, then pushed off her and ran. A coughing fit escaped her as she gulped down as air, sweet air! This was mirrored by Shay, who’d turned the corner wheezing. A hand to his stomach, he limped over to her, and upon seeing her on the ground, ran.

His fingers danced gingerly over her skin, as if touching her would break her.“(Y/N)? (Y/N)!?” Lifting her head and seeing the blood, he held her to his chest and looked around wildly. “I knew this was a bad idea. You’re hurt because of me. I knew I shouldn’t have agreed you to come.” Shay rocked back, and lifted her into his arms. 

“Master Cormac.” She groaned, “Fancy meeting you here.” Was it the rain that ran down his face? “What befell you? Were you successful?”

“That doesn’t matter.” Shay looked between her and their path, afraid to take his eyes off her. “I knew you shouldn’t have come. I’ll kill them for hurting you.”

Then everything went black.