#****; Eris; virtue <- you three have a special place in my note
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If things keep going wrong like this I’ll soon become like the xiao-less people in 2021 ;-;
#dora daily#genuinely don’t know how much longer I can try to push things down#truthfully; I have made peace somewhat with not going to jannah anyways for a while now#yeah I’m a coward for giving up#but to admit cowardice; would that mean alleviation of the stressors#certainly not.#better get to writing that note#time to blame my mum for everything ;3#no; that would be unfair#time to blame others for everything *#and for the outcome#****; Eris; virtue <- you three have a special place in my note#to my “friends” too:#to my classmates to my teachers and to everyone who has so horribly let me down over the course of everything.#I am worn thin and exhausted and I blame you.#clearly my words mean absolutely nothing because whenever I try to communicate it’s met with radio silence#makes me start to think about things#and it makes me hate the concept of communication all the lot more#I didn’t include discord boy because he was funny in his weirdness#even tho he messed me up quite a bit#Istg the only way to remove these consuming feelings it to just get on with it lol#because everyone says oh it gets better but when you’re someone who probably has bpd#there is no better this is lifelong with an unlikely chance of recovery at all. practically 0#I’m not trying to be ill by saying I have so and so but have researched and seen peoples stories who first hand have experienced this#every day the symptoms become more unbearable
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