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#*sigh* okay for REAL I am logging off right now because I've already said Too Many Embarrassing Personal Things about myself today
musical-chick-13 · 2 months
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#idk it's just really frustrating to think that people will ALWAYS make allowances for people they're romantically in love with but#not make those same allowances for someone else they otherwise care about.#that people will risk things for their partners that they wouldn't for their friends#that it's EXPECTED for you to prioritize your spouse/significant other/etc. at all times but prioritizing your friend(s) is rarely even#considered. and when you're like me and you LITERALLY CANNOT DO THIS SHIT BY YOURSELF...#like I know I go on and on about marrying some theoretical woman all the time (and my ongoing...whatever this is. with Musician Guy)#but genuinely I'm not even sure that I want that I think I just want someone who will fucking visit me in the hospital if I get into a car#crash or fix me soup when I'm sick.#like...yeah. in that one story I wrote I think I distilled it down: we all just want someone to hold us when we're sad#and it SUCKS that the only avenue we seem to be allowed to pursue that is through a romantic relationship#right now I have my dad but if something happens to him...I genuinely do not know what I'm going to do. I'll have nowhere to go#if something terrible happens. I'll have no one to help me be a person. and I just. like I really am going to just have to power through#the next 60 years on this fucking planet alone and by god I'll fucking do it but I wish I didn't have to!!!!#and I think this was why the loss of Her™ friendship (which was necessary. for both of us) was so acutely painful. because even after#she got married she WAS willing to prioritize me when things got bad enough. she DID genuinely care about me in a way I don't think#anyone ever has. and I just really don't think I'll ever find that ever again. and I can't go back and I don't WANT to be with her anymore#but it was this time of the year when she told me she was getting married way back when and my brain has kept that like the World's Worst#Anniversary and all of those terrible ugly feelings are coming back in full force and I HATE that I'm still unpacking this I. HATE. that#this not-even-relationship is STILL doing this to me#WHAT THE FUCK!!! IS UP WITH THAT!!!!!!#*sigh* okay for REAL I am logging off right now because I've already said Too Many Embarrassing Personal Things about myself today#and I do not want to put myself in a position to say anymore!#In the Vents#GOD this is so stupid IT'S NOT LIKE SOMEBODY DIED WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS
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teamfreewilllover · 5 years
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Almost Lover: Part 4 - Xavier Plympton Imagine
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Part 1  Part 2  Part 3
Y/N was happily seated in between Xavier and Chet, as the group roasted marshmallows by the campfire. The nurse, Rita, had joined them a few minutes earlier, much to Y/N’s annoyance. Rita soon brought up the night stalker, as Y/N watched Brooke grimace at the mere mention of his name. However, clearly she wasn’t the only one who noticed. Xavier quickly stood up and walked over to Brooke, placing his arm behind her back as he leaned in closer to her.
“Rita. I totally understand the tradition, and usually I'm cool with that, but our friend Brooke here had a for-real assault, and we're just not in the mood for a bullshit ghost story” Xavier explained, a protective tone in his voice.
Y/N practically bristled as she watched Brooke give him a grateful smile. If it wasn’t bad enough that he still seemed to like Montana, now his attention was drifting towards the new girl.
“It's not bullshit. And there was no ghost. I'll be honest with you. I've never been a nurse at a summer camp before. And you've never been counselors. So how did we get these jobs with no prior experience? That's because anybody that knows anything about Camp Redwood doesn't want to be in Camp Redwood” Rita announced, as Y/N gave her a dubious look.
“Then how come your here, Rita? If it’s so dangerous?” Y/N accused.
“I like a little danger” Rita shrugged, as Y/N brushed off the comment, turning her attention back to Xavier.
Xavier seemed to notice she was staring at him, as he straightened up a little, a somewhat guilty look on his face. Y/N was barely listening to Rita’s ghost story about some weirdo named “Mr Jingles”, as she gave Xavier a confused look, which he shrugged to in response.
“Am I boring you two?” Rita questioned, noticing neither of them had been paying attention.
“I was listening. He was a freak who liked to cut peoples ears off” Y/N shrugged.
“You’re wrong. There was a lot more to him than that” A voice told her, as they all turned to see Margaret had snuck up on them.
“Don’t take it personally, Margaret. When these two are around each other, they don’t really pay attention to anything else” Montana teased, as Y/N had to restrain herself from stepping over the fire and strangling Montana.
“Duly noted” Margaret mumbled, as she walked over to Y/N and raised an eyebrow.
“If you want to hear what really happened then I should at least get a seat” Margaret went on, placing a hand on her hip.
Y/N rolled her eyes, as she reluctantly stood up from where she was seated on the log. She could see that there were nowhere else to sit, so she marched over to Xavier and got ready to kneel on the muddy ground.
“If you’re going to tell a story, tell it right...” Margaret began, whilst Y/N stopped listening when she felt a warm arm wrap itself around her waist.
She looked down and realised it belonged to Xavier, as a blush began to rise on her face.
“You can sit with me” Xavier mummured, not looking at her, as he was trying to listen to Margaret’s story.
“There’s no room” Y/N pointed out, as Xavier pulled her onto his lap.
She sat on his thigh, as he kept his arm still wrapped around her waist. By now, Y/N could tell her blush had grown, not to mention her heart rate had sped up. She tried her best to listen to Margaret’s story and ignore her current position, when Xavier began to unconsciously stroke her hip with his thumb. Y/N bit her lip, as she wondered whether Xavier really didn’t know what he was doing. She was brought of her trance as she saw Margaret stand up, as Y/N guessed she had finished her story. From what Y/N’s preoccupied mind could gather, Mr Jingles had killed everyone but Margaret, who had gone on to be the star witness and send him to jail. Y/N was beginning to question this, when she felt Xavier rest his chin on her shoulder.
“She’s kind of spooky, huh?” Xavier teased, his cool breath on her neck.
“Uh...I’m...I’m going to check on the hiker...” Y/N stuttered, as she quickly stood up.
“I’ll come with you. I want to make sure he’s alright” Brooke informed her, standing up.
“I’ll come too” Xavier announced.
“You really don’t need to. We’ll be fine” Brooke stated, as Y/N crossed her arms and looked away.
“It’s no problem. I’ve got to keep an eye on my best girl” Xavier teased, making Y/N rolled her eyes.
“I’ll just leave you two to it then” Y/N mummured as she began walking away.
Brooke shook her head fondly, as she saw Xavier watching her go with puppy dog eyes. The pair were so clearly pining for each other, but neither seemed to realise it.
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Y/N burst into a fit of giggles as she watched Montana all but drool over the new arrival. Trevor had clearly captured her interest...or at least a certain part of him had. Whereas Brooke seemed uncomfortable as he stretched in front of her, his crotch more or less in her face. Not for the first time, Y/N couldn’t help but question if Brooke was even interested in men.
“You’re a legend” Montana informed Trevor, a dreamy look on her face.
“Thanks” Trevor replied, with a small smirk.
“You’re welcome” Montana said, in a breathy tone.
“Okay, down girl” Y/N giggled, as she nudged Montana.
“It’s cool. I’m used to fans” Trevor grinned.
“You better be careful on your way out...I’m not sure your head is going to fit through the door” Y/N retorted.
“Ah...but which head?” Trevor joked, as Y/N laughed.
“You got me there” She giggled.
“Cute...he’s mine, Y/N” Montana whispered, but was still loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Don’t worry, she’s not my type, baby” Trevor winked at Monatana.
“Rude!” Y/N exclaimed.
“Hey, you’re a good looking girl, kid. But your still...well, a kid” Trevor pointed out.
“Montana’s only four years older than me” Y/N scoffed.
“And you know what that means...four years more experience” Montana smirked at Trevor.
Later that night, Y/N was sitting on the floor, her back against the bed Xavier was lounging on, while they watched the beginning of the Olympics.
“I heard the male athletes outnumber the females five to one. That's some tough competition” Brooke teased Chet, who had a devestated look on his face.
“What the fuck would you know about it?” Chet retorted, in an angry tone.
“Woah!” Xavier exclaimed, as he pushed himself upright.
“Dude, shut up already. You’re being a dick” Ray told him, as Chet scrunched up the can he had been drinking from.
“Fuck You!” Chet yelled, as he threw the metal can at Ray, who held up his hand to protect himself.
“Chet, what the hell?” Xavier gaped.
“You need to calm down right now” Y/N told him, pushing herself up.
“Shit...” Ray trailed off, as he saw his hand was now bleeding.
“My bad...I...I didn’t mean to-” Chet began, approaching Ray with a concerned look on his face.
“Back off!” Ray shouted.
“I’m sorry, man” Chet sighed.
“Damn roid rage” Ray mummured, as Chet shook his head and stormed out of the room.
“Chet, wait up!” Y/N exclaimed, following close behind him.
“Y/N, just leave him. It’s not worth it” Xavier insisted, as Chet left the cabin.
“He’s our friend, X” Y/N retorted, as she rushed outside.
“Chet, it’s okay-” Y/N began, but he cut her off.
“No, it’s not! Ray’s right, look at me! I’ve ruined my life and for what? I have no career, no girlfriend, no future...” Chet trailed off, almost sounding like he was going to cry.
“Hey, it’s not all bad. At least you’ve still got your abs” Y/N suggested, as Chet chuckled.
“Yeah, they are pretty rad” Chet nodded.
“Just come back inside, okay? Apologise to Ray, and just...chill” Y/N told him.
“Yeah...thanks, Y/N” Chet smiled at her, as he pulled her into a hug.
“Uh, Chet? You’re kind of crushing me” Y/N giggled, ushering to his arms wrapped around her tightly.
“Oh, sorry” Chet laughed, as he pulled away slightly.
Just then the cabin door opened, revealing an annoyed looking Xavier, who frowned as he saw how close the pair were standing.
“Am I interrupting something?” Xavier questioned, gritting his teeth.
“No. Uh, is Ray still in there?” Chet asked.
“He’s gone get bandages” Xavier replied, with an angry tone.
“I’m gonna’ go after him” Chet announced, as Y/N nodded, watching as he went back inside the cabin.
“Seriously, Y/N? Chet?” Xavier accused, as he shut the cabin door so the others couldn’t hear their conversation.
“Nothing happened. Jesus, what is with you lately? One second your avoiding me and the next your breathing down my neck? Are you that pissed that I’m leaving?” Y/N retorted.
“Maybe...maybe I am. Your my best friend...I don’t want to lose you, okay?” Xavier sighed.
“Just because we’re not going to be living in the same state doesn’t mean we won’t still be best friends, X. I’ll be home all the time” Y/N explained.
“That’s not why I’m worried about losing you” Xavier admitted.
“What do you mean?” Y/N frowned.
“I care about you...a lot. More than I should-” Xavier began but was cut off by Y/N.
“Did you hear that?” Y/N gulped, as she looked out into the forest.
“Hear what?” Xavier inquired, following her gaze.
“I thought I heard...nevermind. Let’s go back inside” Y/N mumbled, as she opened the cabin door, with a frown.
Was Margaret’s story just getting to her or did she just hear keys jingling?
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