#-serious dip was also around when we stopped interacting on Tumblr

[cinnabarsilly]

heyyyy! how r u guys feeling? we missed you!! <3333 /p

Haiiii!!! We've been so much better now that we got away from our abuser, both physically and mentally!!! :-)) Rn we're listening to music and waiting for the foodie grill my beloved to cool down so I can wash her :)))

How are you??

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[mcd-ms-rants]

I wrote the whole post and TUMBLR DECIDED TO DELETE THE WHOLE THING

anyways it’s finally here

take

STUFF I DIDNT LIKE ABOUT MYSTREET SEASON 4:

• ok but the animations here are great. actually tho they're so fluid and clear. Credits to whoever made them!!

• and now let’s do the real thing

• ok so first off this is where the actual plot starts. I know that some people were getting bored of the monotony of the slice of life episodes so they liked it. Again there’s nothing inherently wrong with having it but you have to remember that these characters most likely weren’t written to be in a plot and I say this because their personalities are funny and lighthearted. Their clearly meant for comedy. This also makes them redundant for plot since most of them a few characters barely have any development which is probably why like half the cast was dropped. im not sure how far back jess had planned the plot but needless to say most of the characters wouldn‘t be able to fit there. Travis, Katelyn, KC and the sk’s just dipped for the whole season and even when kc, Travis and Katelyn do show up in s5 their personalities really took a beating

• WHERE DID LAURANCE AND DANTE GO?? We never see them after s3. its probably because their personalities were too funny for plot but laurance was a shadow knight in mcd and since the whole of mys is so hyped up on the whole ‘mcd and mys are connected’ thing by all means he should’ve been there too

• it makes sense that since the lodge is jointly owned by the Ro’meaves and the Lycans, Garroth, Zane and Aaron- and by extension, Aphmau- would come along. it make sense that they would ask Lucinda for help- she’s a skilled witch and has been their friend since high school. theyre literally neighbors. it makes NO SENSE to being Kim- a girl whom they’ve barely ever interacted with and whom they barely know- to a place meant for close family to go to. Ok from a plot perspective yes Kim needed to be there but Aphmau logically doesnt know that yet.

• how does ghost/emmalyn even exist?? We’ve seen emmalyn and kenmur in s1 and they’re ok. not dead or anything. Yes I know that this is mcd emmalyn and she is directly referencing mcd Zane when she says that’s the only name she remembers from when she was alive but that raises two questions- first, how can both mcd and mys versions of her exist at the same time?? and second, what exactly happened between her and mcd zane?? It sounds like she either hates him way more than she loves kenmur (or she’d remember him too) that it’s the only name she remembers or its Stockholm Syndrome.

• I feel that since the plot demanded a ghost vessel thing that was the only reason Aphmau brought Kim. it’s pretty clear that Dante and laurance wouldn’t fit the role because of their personalities so she just remade an older character and changed her completely right down to her skin to fit the plot. her whole personality changes with it- look at her I mean she even becomes more open when she talks. Again this only happened because none of the existing characters could fill that role because IT WASNT MEANT TO HAVE PLOT

• no one likes you michi girl take the hint

• seeing liochant brings back meMoriEs

• what was that potion that lucinda made and which Garroth threw on Zane?? its clear that it cured him from the effects of the forever potion but the bigger question is WHY DONT THEY USE THIS IN S6?? Ok yes in s4 Aphmau gets freed by the power of love(TM) but that doesn’t mean you do that for everyone

• as someone who liked Laurance’s character I miss him :(

• ok there’s WAY TOO MANY PROBLEMS with Ein and his villain shtick. Ein is basically some obsessive werewolf yandere boy who has an unhealthy obsession with aphmau and hates Aaron. and the cherry on top is that Aphmau is his HALF SISTER. THATS INC*ST. That’s GROSS. What is it with Aphmau antagonists and not having a clear motive or backstory?? mcd Zane and Ein both suffer from this and it shows. there were definitely better motives to give him- he doesn’t have to be centered around Aphmau all the time!! And even if you don’t want to go to all the trouble of rewriting the plot you could at least make it so that Ein knows that he and Aphmau are related. Maybe he wants a perfect sister instead and he’s willing to go to any lengths to get her there. it would still be dark and serious but it would be SO MUCH BETTER than the current plotline. Also showing the contrast between his pdh and s4 self and then not giving any semblance of an explanation really makes it difficult to imagine where it all went wrong. yes Michael definitely had something to do with it but to what extent?? How much is Ein actually in control of?? Is he under the influence of a forever potion when he turns Zane, Lucinda and Aphmau to his side?? Is he still under its influence when he fights Aaron?? look I get that they can’t reveal everything but leaving out THIS MUCH and not even revealing it in s6 makes it very difficult to accurately nail Ein’s character.

• how is Aaron even revived?? is that Irene?? how is she here and what is she doing here?? Can we have answers pls. also it makes no sense that she saves Aaron TWICE- once in s4 and second in s6. How does death even work here if Irene can just swoop in and bring them back to life. i feel like none of the villains ever count as threats then because you know that a cryptic mysterious goddess who somehow looks just like your girlfriend will revive you.

• how did Aaron even survive?? No seriously how?? We know that there’s no service or wifi up there at the lodge so using their phones is out of the question. i don’t think Lucinda would be able to conjure up a whole medical team for Aaron. and they're on a MOUNTAIN. It takes precious time to get down from it. for context, even if they sent Garroth (since he’s the fastest) down to get help they’d have to wait for him to reach the village area at the base of the mountain, get a phone, call for help, wait for said help to arrive and get Aaron to a hospital. meanwhile Aaron is bleeding out from multiple gashes on his chest made at like point black range that are critical at best and fatal at worst. (his only saving grace is the snow he’s on which would help to numb the wound because its cold but he has like FIVE deep chest wounds and the snow isn’t even on his wounds.) Ya sorry I don’t see how he manages to survive.

• did I mention that I miss Laurance?? • Why is Aaron not at a hospital I don’t even see a ventilator or oxygen mask near him. Listen I’m not a medical expert but those gashes landed straight on his chest which means straight on his lungs and dangerously close to his heart. how is he alive. how is he not choking on blood right now. we know he’s bleeding out- I’m pretty sure one of the doctors even says “Mrs Lycan, we need to draw more blood for your son.” yes he’s bleeding out why is no one trying to idk stop the wound through pressure with a cloth or something?? (Note: it’s been a while since I’ve watched s4, so if I do get anything wrong thats why!!) also why are the werewolf doctors so chill about Aaron’s ultima eyes? like yes they’re doctors they could’ve been sworn to secrecy or maybe they work for the Lycans but Derek is shown to be really paranoid about anyone finding out about Aaron being the ultima. how does he know they won’t tell it to someone else??

k imma head out now-

thanks for reading!! <3 <3

[fourangers]

Rite of passage - ch 3

Rating: M

Summary:  Every day, he faced the same rhythm, the same pace that lulled his body to join all that dull reality in this life. In a sudden drastic decision, Sasuke decided to travel, meeting someone that would change his life.

Warning: p0rn in this chappie.

AO3 link | FFnet link

Tumblr masterpost

–.–

Chapter 02

--.--

Itinerary 3

Early as in 7 in the friggin' morning early that was too early on Sasuke's book. He glared despite Naruto's cheerful tone while the latter knew him well enough to let him take a small catnap as Naruto drove all the way through.

His body registered that once the car motion had stopped, the soft sound of engine rumbling silencing. He blinked himself awake, letting a small yawn as he unbuckled the safety belt. His eyes registered an oddity. "We're parked in the middle of the road."

"No we're not. We're parked on the roadblock, see." Naruto snorted, shutting the car door.

"You know what I meant." Sasuke returned the comeback with a sharp glare. "We're in the middle of nowhere, in an empty road with nothing but trees surrounding us."

"Yeah, but that old man Fernando said and our landlady confirmed that the waterfall they are talking about is in km 46, see. Plus, there are other cars parked around, so it's probably correct."

"Hn." Sasuke glanced at the appointed cars. "In a horror movie, this is probably the part where the villain who has been faking being a good guy so far, would attract some dumb jock to a deserted place and murder him on the back."

Naruto laughed. "You can check me if I'm carrying a knife or a gun if you want then."

"Luckily for me, I can defend myself."

Sasuke followed Naruto behind, noticing that there was a hiking trail behind a sign board.

"If you say so. Plus, you and I have to agree that I'm more like a protagonist in this case. The hero, courageous and kind, moving undaunted by all the risks and deaths surrounding him, who would inflict the fist of justice upon the greatest villain he ever faced." Naruto narrated with a serious tone, using large hand gestures to stress the epicness, punctuated while they were climbing through the large stairs made of red earth.

"And who would probably end up with some random love interest that he probably interacted for two minutes in the movie."Sasuke muttered, trying not to trip on the long tree roots.

"Yeah, we can't be perfect after all can we." Naruto continued climbing down when he turned to face Sasuke with a wide grin. "Hey, I think I heard some splash! Maybe we're getting close!"

"Joy." Sasuke muttered coolly.

"Yeah yeah yeah, I know deep down you're all giddy ready for it."

"Sure." Sasuke did smirk this time, knowing that Naruto was probably rolling his eyes in response.

He also took his time to admire the forest, noting the differences with the one in his country; the thick foliages, lush green despite the cold season. Even though he was wearing a jacket when they began walking through the trail, a thin layer of sweat was already sticking his t-shirt to his back. He made a frustrated grunt when he tried to balance himself on the uneven ground, holding on a nearby tree while he scaled down.

Sasuke didn't really pay much attention how much minutes had passed though all the extenuating effort made it felt like time had stretched long enough. Even Naruto, that was making jokes and chatting non-stop at the beginning, had now his mouth zipped shut focusing not tripping on a nearby rock. This better be worth all the trouble.

All the human voices were increasing by the steps, encouraging them to keep on walking. The sound of water could be heard loud and clear once they reached the spot, as Naruto happily sighed.

"Wow."

Briefly squinting his eyes from the sudden flash of sunlight, Sasuke let out a quiet gasp, agreeing with Naruto's statement. Strong currents of water were blasting through tall mountain rocks leaving a sheen mist permeating on the air, a dark green colored lake pooled in midst of huge dark rocks, all being embraced by tall trees with several vines, all this breathtaking vision just waiting to be captured within a camera lens.

Sasuke fumbled to pick his camera in his backpack as Naruto already took few pictures with his cellphone and stripped off his t-shirt. Sasuke followed suit once he felt he snapped enough photos, placing his bag on a dry place.

He got close to a calmer surface of the lake, after hopping through several rocks and avoiding some sharp edges. At the very moment his feet touched the water, Sasuke cursed loudly. Fuck, this was cold. Not cold, gelid. He heard Naruto hissing too, his legs skipping around like some weird dance, trying to get used to the low temperature of the water.

Sasuke started walking around on the shallow part of the lake, trying to adjust his body to the water, thankful for the strong sun brightening in that clear blue sky.

"Oh fuck it." Naruto grumbled and then dove right in the lake with a loud splash.

Sasuke widened his eyes from that bold move, despite Naruto rising afterwards, shivering from head to toe. He submerged once again till Sasuke could only recognize blond strands of hair peeking out of the water, swimming few meters away.

A competitive side niggled on the back of his mind, so Sasuke immediately swam with broad strokes, not wanting to lose to Naruto. At first his muscles protested from the sudden clash of temperatures, but adapted well once he had exercised enough, reveling the refreshing sweet water.

His head bumped onto a soft warm body, so Sasuke stood up staring Naruto's grin that stretched from ear to ear.

"Enjoying so far?"

"I guess." Sasuke narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms.

"So don't you think it's time for us to go to the main event? C'mon, I think that all those guys" Naruto pointed to the people who were already in the waterfall before them. "jumped like thrice already since we're here and I wanted to do it too."

"You can go, I'll watch. Good luck." Sasuke turned around, ready for another dipping.

Naruto scowled. Then beamed mischievously. "Scaredy cat."

"Last one loses have to pay today's lunch." Sasuke began sprinting with Naruto on his tail.

The path to the top of the waterfall was quite steep. Through each exerted effort, climbing each stone and jumping upwards, the strong breeze blew through Sasuke's face reminded him how far he was getting from the lake. He briefly turned his head and his legs almost turned to jelly. Gulping dryly, Sasuke inhaled and pressed on.

Some stones were covered with slippery moss as each step was carefully calculated to avoid any accident, the slow movement only increased his heartbeats. Sasuke approached at the edge of the cliff, dark eyes widening as the roaring cascades almost deafened his ears. It almost felt like icicles had lodged in his stomach.

He almost jumped when Naruto poked from behind his shoulder. "What?" Sasuke growled.

"Uuuuh…it's ok if you don't want to jump yet. I just teased but I don't want to pressure you too much." Naruto offered a tentative smile.

Sasuke huffed, shaking his head. "I'm ok, just need…few minutes." He balled his hand into a fist, vision still focused on the waterfall.

A pair of warm hands touched each side of his shoulder and shook his body gently, trying to disperse his anxiety.

"Ok ok…so, you already jumped on a trampoline at least right?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke nodded wordlessly.

"So it's almost the same thing. You saw other people jumping so it's perfectly safe. I mean, not 100% safe but you caught my drift right. Everything will be fine. You just have to relax the body to avoid any accident. You already done this before, so it's nothing out of ordinary." Naruto explained patiently.

Sasuke just made a snort of disbelief in return.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Anyways you bastard…You can do it. Go."

Huffing, Sasuke stepped closer to the tip of the waterfall and then stared down, the lake so far away from where he was standing and everything looked so tiny and blurred. This vision almost made his head dizzy, unbalancing his feet.

Sasuke heard a shout. "Don't look down!"

"Too fucking late." He grumbled to himself.

Closing his eyes with another deep inhale, he jumped. For long, torturous, wondrous seconds, there were only gusts of wind around him, adrenaline pumping his heart as his body only waited the end. In one blink, cold and refreshing water suddenly engulfed him till he was completely submerged within it. For brief panicked seconds, Sasuke almost feared he wouldn't emerge back, but thankfully his instincts kicked in. Soon he was floating back to the surface, his quickened breaths filling his lungs with air. He placed his head on the lake and swam backwards, perfectly content.

"WOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Dark eyes rolled in mock exasperation, recognizing the voice from that echoed scream. Almost two seconds later (that felt like hours for him but it was always too quick in reality), he heard the loud splash and jubilant laughter right afterwards.

"That was fucking great!" Naruto shouted, grinning widely. He swan around the border of the lake few times, approaching towards Sasuke. "Let's do it again."

"You're crazy." Sasuke snorted. Then, on the same breath. "Let's go."

The second time wasn't hard as the first time, as Sasuke was getting more used to the sensation and thrill of it. By the fourth or fifth time he was even trying some other maneuvers, with Naruto snapping some photographs the moment of the splash.

All in all it was a worthwhile experience that made every bit of his cell reinvigorated, if he knew this would give such positive outcome he would have done this ages ago.

Honestly…he was getting tired of wasting his life away.

Onyx eyes zeroed on that tall path as he climbed upwards once again. However this time he settled to simply sit on the edge of the waterfall, admiring the scenery.

Taking long, deep breaths, Sasuke let his senses guide its time, appreciating the sounds of the waterfall, birds tweeting, the gentle sway of tree branches moving with the wind. Goosebumps prickled when a fresh breeze passed through, letting the sun warming his skin. His eyes committed to his memory never forgetting the cerulean sky blessing the forest below, untouched nature guarded by human hands.

Sasuke noticed on the corner of his eye someone approaching. He turned slightly to see a bashful smile coming from Naruto. "You mind some company?"

He shook his head, turning back to stare ahead in quiet meditation. Minutes flowed with the comfortable silence that fell so naturally, understanding that words were unheeded now.

It felt nice for once, he didn't need to pay attention to the clock. With anxiety piling up, tasks clogging his schedule as hours simply flew by, another day being cast away. Another month was over. An year being scratched through.

Previously he was filled with responsibilities and many activities but now…he was doing nothing. Nothing but sightseeing. But why doing something apparently so meaningless made him feel so…appeased?

Naruto continued sitting on his side, also enjoying gazing upon the scenery. Sasuke appreciated this companionship, relaxing his limbs even further.

"This…is quite pleasant." He murmured.

"Yeah, it's nice right? I could stare this all day." Naruto said, stretching his limbs.

"Hm."

"No matter where, I really like taking my time appreciating any place I go." Naruto breathed out contentedly.

"It is a nice idea. For all we know, we only have this one life to live, so better seize it fully before it's too late." Sasuke murmured.

"Then…we look kind of silly, just sitting here, watching the waterfall."

"It's not only about watching it's…" His onyx eyes narrowed, sighing. "you're consciously letting the time pass with your own consent, instead of feeling like everything is going past by you before you could even really experience it."

"Yeah, I get what you mean. Sometimes it's really annoying even when I'm doing something ordinary, before I'd know it, hours flew by. And it almost feel like you couldn't really savor how time will pass, no matter how inevitable this is."

"Yes…" Sasuke stared down his hand, curling it. "And then, before you realize, your life will be spent just like that, with you feeling like you haven't lived enough."

And even though he was enjoying the present moment, he couldn't elude the uneasiness and insecurity haunting his every waking move. Sometimes he could forget for brief seconds if his mind was too busy with his work, but the second when night would fall, and another day had passed, his eyes would transfix at the ceiling, shaken to the core.

"Then…you'll look at this beautiful place and it feels like this fear might only a nightmare…but it's always with you, looming at the back of your mind." Sasuke heard the contemplative phrase, echoing his previous fears.

Sasuke turned around. He watched, entranced, as the blue hue of Naruto's eyes acquired the same warmth from the bright sky.

"I'm really glad I agreed going with you in this journey." Naruto beamed.

"Really? Why?" Sasuke was taken aback.

"I met with some other people here and there before…some even traveled with me. They were all very, how can I explain." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Eager, almost desperate to live…doing all sorts of things, dangerous sports, doing everything from dawn to dusk. But I guess no one really stopped to appreciate and really think about what exactly is about…living life."

"Is that so?" Sasuke couldn't let even one day pass without mulling about all this.

"I guess thinking about such things about life…or death. Can't be pleasant, so a lot of people prefer not thinking about it, no matter how obvious it'd be, and how sometimes this uncertainty can bring this hollowness in yourself." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Life is too short, why not enjoy it instead of getting depressed thinking about this; is what they'd answer me whenever I talked about it."

"Why would I even stop thinking about it, what's the disadvantage ignoring it? Self-awareness and questioning your one self is probably the only thing that make us different from other animals, I don't get why would I even stop doing this for one second." Reflecting about life might terrorize him from time to time, but there was no way Sasuke would trade this for anything else.

Naruto smiled. "Yep. That's why I said I'm glad I agreed going with you in this journey."

His dark eyes blinked, before fixing towards Naruto's expression. The noises of waterfall, birds chirping and all suddenly felt muffled, as if Sasuke was really looking at him for the first time.

Naruto stared back, his heartbeats increasing under Sasuke's intense gaze. He could feel his cheeks heat up, his body almost wanting to move closer and erase the distance between them.

Out of nowhere, Sasuke stood up making Naruto jump from his seat as the brunet was dusting off his swimming trunks. He turned to face Naruto, speaking unflappably. "It's almost time for lunch."

Naruto raised his eyebrows, before shrugging and also stood up. "Yeah, I guess we spent enough time in here." He brightened up. "Oh yeah! I asked the landlady and she said that Fernando and his family are good friends with her, it's totally safe visiting them."

Sasuke frowned, but otherwise maintained his neutral expression.

"Also, they are going to have um…" Naruto paused, huffing. "I forgot the english word, aaargh. It's…like a party? But only between friends it's mostly playing music with their own band and everything…sarau. Do English have a word to sarau?"

Sasuke shook his head, chuckling. "I don't think so but I got the gist of it."

"Yeah! So you wanna go?" Naruto asked as they were climbing down the stairs.

This time Sasuke did grimace, letting out a soft sigh. He wasn't much for parties, social gatherings and such. To add salt to injury, whereas he preferred few number of friends, tonight he was going to a place where he knew no one, with a language barrier hindering him above all.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Naruto said, noticing the lingering silence.

Then again, he went all the way to a foreign country so he could get away from his usual comfort zone.  He could get along with locals and listen to their music, this was an opportunity that he wouldn't want to let it go waste, however uncomfortable it may appear at first glance.

"Sure, we can go." Sasuke thought for a second and added. "But if possible, let's not stay there for too long because I do want to rest after you made me wake up so early today."

Naruto laughed. "Ok, sounds like a plan."

–.–

At this point of the story, Sasuke already had the general feeling that he should get used to Brazil's less-than-desirable roads. Aside the highways, most of them aren't well-maintained, with several holes. Not all of them are made of asphalt, as they were going through a road full of dangerous curves that would make anyone with weak stomach queasy.

From afar, warm lights were illuminating a large house as they were getting closer to their destination. Naruto parked nearby, Sasuke was already recognizing the old man that helped them out yesterday. He was going to raise his hand as a greeting, however instead, Fernando quickly enveloped him with a bear hug, also giving another tight embrace towards Naruto once he freed Sasuke. An old lady, which Sasuke assumed to be his wife, also beamed giving a kiss on each side of his cheeks, patting on his shoulder. Sasuke patted back awkwardly. He still struggled getting used to brazilian hospitality.

Naruto made sure to explain that Sasuke couldn't speak one word in Portuguese, so while they were hurrying them to the dining room, the younger generation spoke with him with a broken English. Mouth-watering food arrived right away much to their delight and despite Sasuke's previous reservations, the dinner went without much of a hitch.

Stomachs filled, minds content, they all went outside with several instruments and some beer. Sasuke's eyes lit up once he noticed Fernando bringing some cachaça, Naruto shook his head as he approached them.

"You and your cachaça, I swear."

Sasuke offered a glass. "You can drink too if you want."

"Nah. Designated driver here, 'member? I won't drink much." As soon Naruto said those words, bunch of kids dragged him out of the way. Sasuke had to snort at the sight; one kid climbed all the way up to cling on Naruto's neck, little girls were holding him down on each arm, another kid hugged him tightly from behind resembling a koala clutching a branch.

The family started singing, with some playing an acoustic guitar, other settled the rhythm by drumming on any nearby surface. Naruto was dancing in clumsy steps with a girl who was literally half his size, with Fernando refilling more cachaça in Sasuke's cup. The group were chatting and taking photographs, their merry voices echoed through the night. Soon Fernando's elder mother (who Naruto jokingly said that she fancied Sasuke) brought freshly baked homemade cakes, even though Sasuke was still full from the dinner and wasn't a fan of sweets, he took a tentative bite on the carrot cake, admitting that it was delicious.

Quietly sipping his glass, Sasuke let the sounds of music and chattering drown him in, lights becoming a blur, making his body light. The people playing music were far from being professional, but they sang full of emotion and vigor, with an easy melody that would make him hum along. He could swear he was getting drunk, not only from all the alcohol he ingested, but from all this happiness injecting in his system.

He noticed that Naruto with the kids, as well as some adults, were picking up some flashlights. He growled out. "Where are you going?"

Blue eyes blinked at the sudden question. "We're out for a walk around the farm."

Hn. "I'll go." Sasuke muttered as he stood up, joining the group. It was more difficult to coordinate his limbs in his inebriated state, nevertheless he managed to follow them with considerable grace. However, as they were taking too long walking through tall grass fields, all Sasuke wanted was to lie down and rest.

Naruto saw that the brunet was falling behind, so he took a few steps back and asked. "You alright there?"

 A black eyebrow was raised, as the group were going inside a dimly lit forest. "Why are they going in there?"

"Oh. They said that this forest have some owls so they went there to check it out." Naruto shrugged one shoulder. "So let's go?"

Sighing, Sasuke sat in one of the grass hills, grumbling. "I think I'm fine here."

"Oh um…sure?" Naruto sat next to him.

"You can go if you want."

"Nah, I think I'm fine baby-sitting you drunkard." Naruto chuckled despite Sasuke's glare.

The grass felt so fresh and nice that he didn't resist to lay down on it, feeling Naruto's body also dropping next to him as they admired the night sky.

"Isn't this amazing?" Sasuke whispered.

Naruto turned his head to stare at him. "What?"

"I traveled miles, oceans away from my country…and here I am, finally being able to admire something that I can see anywhere. And yet, this is probably the first time I had properly gaze upon it…and see how vast it is, and how our lives feel so…significantly small. We're just a speck in this whole universe."

Naruto felt his heart clenching, but ignored as he said. "Our lives might be insignificant in this universe, but here we are, living and having all those questions about meaning of life for over thousands of years. Our own lives will never be insignificant to us."

"True. I do want to live life to the fullest. Or else I wouldn't be here, going along with every crazy idea you'd cook up out of nowhere." Sasuke smirked.

"You loved it, just admit it."

Sasuke snorted, focusing his eyes towards the sky, many stars bright in the darkness of that night. "Then when you see this sky, how we're insignificant…sometimes it feels like all the torment we're suffering while we're living are all so meaningless right."

Naruto sat up, staring down towards Sasuke. "You…sound you were pretty unhappy before coming here."

Sasuke huffed, acquiescing to confess some facets of himself. "Unhappy is too much of a strong word. Dissatisfied is more like it."

Naruto hummed, interlacing his fingers and letting his hands resting on his lap.

"All these kinds of questions we talked about throughout the day, about life and spending my time…it was haunting me almost every day. At first when I was going along with everyone, finishing college, finding a successful job, buying a house…it felt like it's the natural course for me. But years passed by, and it was like I really didn't experience it at all…and in one blink, another month was over."

"Well...Am I doing this right, is this really the way to go…those are all questions that passed through everyone's head, so you don't have to torture yourself so much over this." Naruto replied.

"Actually, I'm not unhappy with my life, like I've said." Sasuke rebutted. "I admit, I'm one of the small portion of population who have a privileged status, I can think about those sorts of things while many are scrapping for survival. But then I remember that I only have one chance of this life. One life and no turning back. If I'm only having this one life, I want to remember every second of it, instead of feeling that it's slipping away."

"And that's how you wound up coming here?"

"Hn." Sasuke crossed his arms. "I couldn't bare this any longer, doing the same thing over and over again, until I was dead. And that's how this fact pushed me to buy the first ticket available to Brazil."

This affirmation took Naruto by surprise as he inquired. "If you felt that your life headed this way, what pushed you to change it so suddenly?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I'm turning 30 in five days."

"WHa─WHAT─wait, really??" Naruto jumped, Sasuke also flinched the sudden movement. "Congrats man! No wait, in five days…wait, why are you─what─how─you don't regret this?"

Sasuke mulled for a while. "Even though you forced me to jump in some deadly waterfall─" He smirked.

"You loved it ok! You loved it─and stop exaggerating, it wasn't deadly─" Naruto protested.

Sasuke snorted. "I'm glad that I'm here. Doing things that I normally wouldn't do, experience things that I never had the luxury to do before…this is incredible."

Naruto stared in wonder, eyes fixed on Sasuke's soft features in that dark night. He placed his flashlight closer between them, body moving without thinking until his lips reached to touch Sasuke's.

He had few seconds relishing that soft contact, before realizing that the other young man wasn't returning the kiss. Naruto backed away. "Shit sorry, I shouldn't have done that, you can punch me if you want─"

Sasuke silenced him by dragging him close by the back of his neck, nibbling his lower lip.

Naruto made a strangled moan, hands reaching to stroke Sasuke's pale cheek as he moved closer, face angling to deepen the kiss. He vaguely felt long fingers combing his blond hair as his mouth was caressed so softly, exploring every part of their silken lips. Lost in those pleasurable sensations, Naruto let his hands to hold securely Sasuke's waist as Sasuke pulled him even closer, passion increasing within each kiss.

They heard some voices coming closer, signalizing that the group were returning from their expedition. They detached their mouths with a little bit of regret, Naruto greeted the kids back with his face flushed and lips still tingling. He risked a glance backwards, with Sasuke's hair mussed out looking quite…adorable. Naruto almost wanted to kiss him right here right there, consequences be damned.

They stayed few more minutes talking with the family, preparing their departure as the children were getting sleepy. Sasuke and Naruto bid them all farewell with more tight hugs and kisses on the cheek, the family even gave them some leftovers for the next day.

Once Naruto was driving all the way back to hostel with a wordless Sasuke by his side, reality finally sank in. He shouldn't have done that, not when Sasuke was drunk so he probably wasn't thinking straight. And now that the alcohol was slowly leaving his system, maybe the brunet was having second thoughts?

However, after this brief panic attack, the air between them didn't feel awkward or misplaced. Sasuke was even humming quietly, of all people, helping in guiding with GPS. He did appear to have sobered up, though didn't question their last…activity, Naruto didn't want to pressure him too.

They were back to hostel in no time, Sasuke breathing a sigh of relief as he muttered that he wanted to take a bath first. Fidgeting, Naruto listened to the sound of shower running as he grabbed his clothes. Once the bathroom door was opened with Naruto sitting on the bed, the blond man stood up rigid when Sasuke called his name. It was his turn to bathe, he attempted not to overthink too much, not wanting to pressure for answers.

He exited the bathroom, Sasuke was already on the bed with his back facing him. An unpleasant squirmed on his belly, Naruto concluded that this was probably how they were going to end the night, as he settled to lay down on his side.

Sasuke turned around, onyx eyes boring to his own.

Uncertainty and blurred desire lingered between them until Naruto chewed his lower lip, breaking their eye contact. "Have a good night?" He muttered.

With a startle, blue eyes widened when Sasuke's fingertips reached his face, reconnecting their gazes. The inscrutable array of emotion reached his dark eyes giving him a certain vulnerability, silently beckoning Naruto to kiss him again.

He covered his mouth with Sasuke's, both leaning closer till their noses bumped lightly. With his hands cradling Sasuke's head, he continued to seek this nameless amorphous feelings, letting these surge and involve him completely with each pleasured hum, caress and soft bite. Sasuke released him with a wet smack, his fingers brushing the tanned temple. Naruto whispered. "I thought you weren't interested."

"I thought you weren't gay." Sasuke answered, shifting to fit their bodies together.

Naruto raised an amused smile. "I'm not. I'm bi." He chuckled from Sasuke's dawning expression. "Should we stop?"

Black eyes narrowed in annoyance, hands resting on Naruto's collarbone.

Naruto approached till their faces were inches apart, breaths mingling with their increasing heartbeats. "Or do you want to continue?"

Sasuke captured his lips once again, and this was all he needed to melt under this kiss. A rush of excitement ran through his veins when Naruto called his name with a choked gasp, opening his mouth and letting their tongues move slickly. Sturdy hands clasped on each side of his body, Sasuke moaned as they continued exploring their mouths, molten desire escalating within each kiss.  

With Naruto pushing forward till every inch of his body covered his own, Sasuke groaned when Naruto grinded their lower halves, his arousal awakening. The friction of their thin cotton pants were maddening, his cock was hardening and filling up as Naruto continued to thrust, lips hungrily devouring his mouth. His legs widened as their hips were undulating together, their yearning bringing an urgency that couldn't allow them one second to breathe or think. Sasuke slithered his hand in Naruto's white t-shirt, letting his palm feel each expanse of that warm skin and lithe torso. His thumb found a hardened nipple so he lightly twisted under the labored breaths of his lover. Liquid lust ran ablaze when Naruto detached their mouths with a sensual moan, one deep thrust drawing their hot cocks together also made him groan loudly.  

All those warm caresses, touches and kisses were driving him crazy, throwing any remaining hesitation to the wind. Sasuke's hands glided till he felt Naruto's buttocks, sinking his fingers in those soft mounds of flesh as Naruto straddled him. Their pleasured gasps and hisses were increasing in cadence to their thrusts, carnal frenzy rousing their bodies as they hurried to their peak.

Sasuke barely registered as his hands were dragging Naruto's pants down and freeing the glistening cock, pre-cum flowing on the slit. Licking his lips, he also released his own erection, moaning huskily when Naruto's hands brought their hardened flesh together, pumping.

"Sasuke…" Naruto keened, fingers moving in a blurred speed. Sasuke swallowed, licking Naruto's lower lip, their mouths kissing wetly and sloppy. Naruto came with a ragged shout, cum spurting all over their bodies and leaking on Sasuke's stomach. With one last grunt, Sasuke also orgasmed, bursts of semen reaching Naruto's cheek, blending with their sweat and scorching bodies.

They were still recovering from their high when Sasuke nibbled Naruto's lower lip, his mouth moving tenderly, coaxing him to respond. For the moment, all the noises heard in that quiet night were lips smacking and sliding, meeting over and over again. This time they kissed with their eyelids half-mast, as Naruto gazed upon Sasuke's soulful expression, his heart throbbing. Sasuke released him at last, looking so debauched and delicious that Naruto could feel his erection stirring again. However, dark eyes closed with a pleased sigh, Sasuke relaxed his body completely, uncaring to all the evidence of their tryst still covering his belly.

Naruto blinked few times before lifting a fond smile, also joining his slumber.

--.--

AN: That's it for now guys. Three chapters in a row. Reviews pleaaaseeeee.

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Chapter 04