#...but that impulse to self-persecute is a slow and cruel killer | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uncanny-tranny · 8 months

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Being in pain and anguish can make you a deeply unpleasant person when it starts to grate on you to the core of your soul how unwell you are, and it really can make interacting with others so much harder.

It is hard to be around other people when you're in pain, and the sounds around you quite literally hurt, and you feel the crushing weight of reality settling deep on your chest and throat, and it feels like the world is against you. It's hard to be "pleasant" when everything feels stacked against you.

I hope to be with all of you in a metaphorical way. It's hard to be disabled and to act "normal." It's important to recognize that we can become so entrenched in the horrors of disability and pain that we lash out because when we recognize the cause, we can start finding ways to notice what might help.

Disability can feel like you're turned into a shell of who you thought you "should" be. Give yourself the space to grieve if you need to. I know it's hard. Take it a day at a time.

#disability #since i made this with the thought of disability in mind + the ways that it affects every little part of your life #it feels so hard to be in pain and then to snap at somebody because your disability gives you a shorter fuse...#...and you KNOW that this isn't their fault and you tell them that but it's still rough...#...and it feels like you're just not worthy of being loved after that because they were innocent...#...but that impulse to self-persecute is a slow and cruel killer #i think this is something so many disabled people especially are ashamed to talk about when it applies to them #because it's uncomfortable and scary and you don't want to be or be seen as a Bad Person #but you aren't bad. you're unwell and that isn't Bad and it doesnt MAKE you bad

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