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faunusrights · 5 years ago

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OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

She chose not to dwell on it.

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in.

[...]

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are.

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke.

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.”

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

#liveblog #rwby #offal hunt

16 notes · View notes

moonprincess92 · 7 years ago

Note

you know i want all of the AUs!!! but especially that coffeeshop AU — with sprinkles of them becoming roommates and having to fake date for some mysterious reason. :D (but i‘d be happy with just the coffeeshop AU tbh.) but you know i love all of your AUs (stories in general) and love you! ❤️

it’s no coffee shop au, but i managed to do the other two - anything for you, girl! (also on ao3)

Jyn was literally already halfway to her parent’s house when she got themessages.

JynnjYYYNNNNNfuck my life apparently danielle is getting marriedFUCKFKJGIN MARRIEDPLS ANSWER THIS IS AN OFFICIAL CODE BLUE

She’d only glanced at them as she drove, but upon seeing the forebodingDanielle’s name she immediately pulled over to read them through properly.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

She hastily texted back,

AREU FUCKING KIDDING ME TELL ME UR KIDDING

Only two cars whizzed on by before he replied,

I am NOT kidding, she’s fuckingannounced it on fb????

In the next second, Jyn was furiously pulling up said Facebook, searchingfor Danielle’s profile. She was technically still friends with the woman, butonly so that she could retain the prime stalking privileges that being Facebookfriends provided. If she could, she would have blocked and deleted herMONTHS ago, but Cassian had begged her to keep her around ‘just in case, Idon’t know, so I can avoid her I guess’. It didn’t take much scrolling. Themost recent post of hers was an engagement announcement to some guy she hadliterally never even heard of, complete with professional photo spread andcurrently over a thousand likes.

Out of spite, Jyn angry-faced it.

JUSTCHECKED, MATE U WEREN”T KIDDING

OF COURSE IM NOT KIDDING

Areu drunk yet????

I’m certainly on my way

Jyn sighed, staring at her phone. She’d been planning on meeting up withher parents for dinner for months now. With her living several cities away andtheir ever-increasing schedules, it was always hard to find the time… but thisparticular crisis called for significant action. She quickly texted Cassian oncemore,

Areu at home??

I am currently on the couch of pain,yes

Don’tmove, I’ve just left work, I’ll be there soon

Before she could receive the expected ‘no, no, you go see your familylike you planned don’t worry about me’ messages, she quickly called herparents.

“Hello?”

“Mama? It’s me,” Jyn said. “Look, I know we’ve had to reschedule thisdinner like three times now, and I’m so sorry, but I won’t be able to make ittonight either.”

“What’s going on this time?” Lyra Erso sighed.

“Cassian’s ex-fiancée has just announced that she’s engaged again.”

“Oh, shit,” Lyra said at once, any trace of disappointment instantly gone. “Seriously, Danielle?”

“You understand the gravity of the situation.”

“I thought they’d only just broken up?”

“It was four months ago,” Jyn admitted. “But four months to get over athree year relationship, find someone else, fall in love, AND get engagedagain? Fuck her!”

“Jyn, go home, seriously,” Lyra insisted. “Make sure that boydoesn’t drown himself in the bathtub or something.”

“I think drowning in alcohol is more likely – thanks Mama,” Jyn said inrelief. “Can you explain to Papa?”

“Of course – OI, GALEN!” Lyra’s booming voice suddenly screeched down the other end of theline. “CASSIAN’S EX GOT ENGAGED AGAIN!”

“The girl who dumped him two weeksbefore the wedding? How dare she!”

“I KNOW RIGHT?”

Jyn figured to hang up then. It didn’t take long for her to hang a quicku-turn and swing back in the direction she had come from, but it was longenough to notice the ten or so new messages that had apparently been sentto her as she’d spoken to her parents.

“Don’t even start,” she said upon storming straight into theirapartment. “I was coming back no matter what you said, this is a Code Blue forsure.”

“Did I even use the right one? Which one was Code Blue again?” Cassiansaid in resignation. He didn’t even bother getting up from the sofa, where hewas currently laid splayed out with a half-empty bottle of wine sitting on thecoffee table next to him.

“Code Blue is ‘emotionally my life has gone balls up and I need you’,”Jyn reminded him. “Code Red is ‘I fucked up and need immediate assistance’. Wesave Code Black for ‘I’M DYING’.”

“I don’t know, I think this could be a Code Black as well, Jyn.”

“You’re not dying yet,” she snorted, snagging the wine as she sat downon the other end of the sofa, lifting Cassian’s legs out of the way anddropping them back into her lap. She peered at the bottle in her hand andasked, “Could you have bought a cheaper bottle of wine?”

“I wasn’t spending any more on her.”

“Fair point,” Jyn threw some back. Cassian gestured for her to pass itbetween them, but she shook her head before hastily drinking more. “No, no, Iclearly have to catch up here.”

“I’m not THAT drunk.”

“Try and get off this sofa.”

He glared at her for several moments.

“Case in point.”

Cassian groaned, flinging an arm over his eyes. “Honestly, how did I endup here?” he said and Jyn felt for him, she really did. When you knew someonefor nearly 10 years, you saw a lot of heartbreaks and aches. From when they’dfirst met as awkward 18-year-old’s, to now in their late twenties and honestlyjust trying to Adult without dying, the two of them had been there throughevery single disastrous relationship they’d ever had. She’d been therebefore, during and after the Danielle fiasco, and he’d been right at her sideas she’d slashed the tyres of every ex who’d ever cheated on her (tugging onher arm and practically begging that they leave before they get caught, but he’dstill never let her do it alone). There was little that they hadn’t donetogether, or that they wouldn’t do for each other, to be honest. She rubbed hisshin where it lay over her said,

“It’s gonna be ok.”

“IS IT?” Cassian pressed his fingers hard over his eyes. “I appreciatethe support but Jyn, she’s engaged. Three years apparently wasn’t even enough time to want to marry me,but four months and she’s more than happy to say yes to some other bastard? Whothe hell even IS that guy?”

“Cassian, we’ve established that Danielle is a flighty bitch who can’tdecide what she wants and you’re better off without her,” Jyn sighed. “Do Ireally have to beat it into your head again?”

“Probably.”

She leaned over and whacked him affectionately. Thing was, the nightDanielle had called off the wedding was still a very vivid memory, even allthese months later. Literally two weeks before the day, and he had turned upoutside her door out of the blue at one am. He had only been living in his newapartment with his fiancée for three weeks at that point and her first reactionhad been to think welp, SOMEONE’Sdead. Instead, he’d looked at her with an expression that she couldn’t readand had told her simply,

“Danielle left me.”

“… fuck,” she’d said in reply.

And she really hadn’t known what else to say, because what the hell elseCOULD you say? Cassian had been so dedicated, so ready to be married, so deeplyin love that the idea that Danielle had just casually told him one night, “Hey,so I don’t really think I’m ready for marriage, sorry this didn’t work out,”seemed unfathomable.

Jyn had held out her arms and Cassian had immediately walked into them.

“Can I move back in with you?” he had sobbed into her neck.

“Of course,” she’d said back.

“ANYWAY,” she said now. “I might make more jokes and hit you some more,but I’m honestly sorry, Cassian. This sucks.”

“Yeah,” he muttered through his hands.

“You can cry, I won’t judge,” she smirked.

“Fuck you,” Cassian was already attempting to smoother the tears that wereleaking through and she damn well knew it. “Honestly, this is just mostlyembarrassing. Everyone knows that we were engaged only four months ago, and sheapparently wasn’t ready for marriage then but she’s suddenly ready NOW? WHY,JYN? FUCKING WHY.”

“Hey, only a handful of people know that’s why she left,” Jyn pointedout. “If anything, everyone will be judging her for getting engaged again soquickly! That help at all?”

“A little. But I haven’t even told you the worst part yet.”

“Christ on a bike, there’s a worse part?”

“Brace yourself,” Cassian took a moment to apparently pull up somethingon his phone. In the next, he was handing her the device apparently showing atext conversation between himself and someone with the name ‘DO NOTENGAGE’.

Hey, Cassian idk if you’ve seen, butI’m getting married!! I’dlove for you to be there, of course it’s a little whirlwind hahaso we haven’t had time to send out official invites but it’s onsat 5th Aug in southlake tahoe. PLS come, I’d love to see youagain!!!! Xxxalso feel totally free to bring a plus 1 ;)

Jyn was honestly kind of in awe.

“Say the word,” she declared, staring at the offending message. “I swearto god, just say the word and I will fucking END her.”

“I’m not quite at that point, but I’ll let you know if I change mymind.”

“You’re not going. I cannot BELIEVE she had the guts to inviteyou!”

“About that…” Cassian cringed.

Oh, motherfucking shitballs.

“You already said you’d go, didn’t you?”

“Well, if I don’t go I look petty and clearly not over her!” Cassianhastily defended himself, snatching his phone back off her before she couldread his no doubt ‘omg I’d love to!!’ messages (not to mention promptly hurlinga fist into his head as well). “So I said yes out of spite, only now I thinkI’ve backed myself into a corner. I can’t go, but I can’t not go either.”

“Christ on a bike, Cassian."

"I know."

“Well, if you think you’re going alone, you got another thing coming,”Jyn pointed out, grabbing the wine. Blimey, even she needed it now. “You’reshowing this bitch one way or another that she doesn’t have a hold on youanymore.”

“I appreciate your furiousness on my behalf,” Cassian said. “but believeme when I say I am in absolutely no headspace right now to go out and find adate.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I get you,” Jyn said. “Good thing this isn’t just awedding anymore, this is a fucking war. You can’t just take anyone, you need to take someone that is going tomake a statement. Someone that people will talk about for MONTHS after. Youneed to take the one person in the entire world that would piss her off themost.”

“So… you?”

She started a little.

She hadn’t actually been thinking of herself, but now that he mentionedit, it was suddenly the perfect plan. Danielle had quite famously never exactlytrusted the over-half-a-decade of friendship between her and Cassian, despiteJyn having attempted to date several other people over the last three years andCassian being the most devoted boyfriend she thought she’d ever seen. Herand Danielle had always played nice of course and there had even beenmoments when Jyn had managed to bring herself to maybe kind of like her, butthere had always been an undertone to their every interaction that just made itclear that at the end of the day, Danielle Livesay hated Jyn Erso’s guts andprobably always would.

There was no one else Cassian could possibly take that would annoy hermore.

“Yes, me,” Jyn said. “I’m serious, you take me as your date and Daniellewill flip her fucking LID, it will be perfect!”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that–”

“Good thing you’re not asking then,” Jyn declared. “I’m insisting andit’s decided. You got yourself a fake girlfriend! For the record, I’ll cuddleyou and give you a few kisses if she’s looking in our direction, but no tonguestuff ok?”

Cassian just shook his head, trying not to laugh.

“You’re the fucking best, Jyn.”

“Of course I am. Now drink more wine, this is gonna be a longnight.”

Of course the wedding was in fucking Lake Tahoe.

Last minute AND destination, Danielle was basically guaranteeing thatthe only people who would come were either only interested in a weekend away orwere the only ones who had no plans. Cassian’s jaw had been clenched basicallyever since they had left their apartment Friday afternoon, but steadily gotworse the closer they got to stepping inside the hotel for the ceremony.

“What do I say to her, whatdo I say–” he hissed frantically under his breath as they approached the nodoubt bloody expensive hotel. She insisted that he chill the fuck out, onlythat resulted in him shutting up and staying deathly silent instead.

"God, you’re not making this easy, mate,” she pointed out.“I think I liked it better when you were talking, I could at least tell ifyou were still alive or not.”

He just let out a strangled squeak.

“Hey,” she said,reaching out and gripping his hand tightly, their fingers interwoven together.She brought them to her chest, holding him there and making him look at her.“Cassian, I get that this hurts but don’t make it about that. You can hurttomorrow, make tonight about revenge. Hold onto that feeling instead. We’llmake out in front of her a little, and then go and get smashed at the bar.Deal?”

He nodded faintly.

They were purposefully a little late to the ceremony, just to furtherprove the point that they didn’t actually give a fuck. They were quicklyushered in amidst some irritated looks from Danielle’s family. Jyn did noticethat only one of Danielle’s three sisters had apparently bothered to show up,and yet it seemed that nearly everyone from her office had taken the trip justto take advantage of the open bar later. They took up an entire row, lookingbored and passing a hip flask subtly between them.

Danielle naturally looked fucking stunning in her dress, and Jyn wassuddenly very glad that Cassian had insisted on tradition and not seeing itbefore their own wedding because turns out she was literally wearingthe exact same dress. Out of all the things to piss her off, Jyn had honestlythought it would be something more extreme, but nope. Apparently, a dress didit! That fucking dress, the one that had to be altered three times,that Jyn had helped her pick out, had reassured over manycomplimentary glasses of champagne that she looked beautiful in and thatCassian would love it, only to just turn around and use it to marry someoneelse instead… fuck her. Her husband-to-be looked kind of in shock, honestly, like hedidn’t quite know what he was doing up there in front of all these people.

Really, she knew the feeling.

Luckily, their strategic lateness meant that they had missed half theceremony, so they didn’t have to sit through too much of the gushing ‘I loveyou’s. They only caught the tail end of it, Danielle tearing up as she spokeher vows.

“Oh my god, I’m going to ruin my make-up,” she said, gaining some politelaughs. “Oh, Derek. Honestly, I don’t even know how to finish this. I thought Iknew what love was before we met, but turns out I had no idea. I am so, solucky that I found you and get to spend the rest of my life with you. I loveyou.”

Jyn glanced over at Cassian briefly as the vows wrapped up.

She had never seen the man go white before, but he was white as a sheetnow.

“I’m so glad that’s over,” he ended up grumbling through champagne onlya little while later. Thankfully, the reception was in full swing and honestly,it was almost worth all the emotional pain this weekend was so far causing justfor the sheer elaborance of it all. The dinner had been fucking amazing, and the vinyl windows had all beenrolled up to expose the ballroom to the open air and natural lakeside view.Lanterns criss-crossed the ceiling and with a DJ pounding out cheesy pop dancesongs, it was easy to get lost in a sea of alcohol and forget the whole‘getting married four months after getting dumped’ thing.

“I’m still pissed that she hasn’t even come over to talk to you yet,”Jyn pointed out. “What kind of fucking host doesn’t even talk to all theirguests? It should be easy, there’s only about thirty of them who even botheredto come!”

“Honestly, I’m fine with it.”

“Honestly, I’m not,” Jyn said. “I wanna show that bitch a piece of mymind.”

“God stop talking, stoptalking, I think she’s watching us,” Cassian suddenly panicked, spluttering onhis drink as he hastily turned around. “You’re jinxing it!”

“She’s looking?”

“From the high table, I accidentally caught her eye!”

“Perfect,” Jyn reached out and wrapped her arms around Cassian’s waist.He didn’t raise an eyebrow, however, until she started running her hands up anddown his back, clearly something she didn’t usually do when hugging him andalso obviously in Danielle’s line of sight.

“Jyn…” he sighed.

“Come on! Is this not why you brought me?”

“I’m starting to re-think the idea, to be honest, she’s going to knowit’s not real, that I’m just a hopeless loser who brought his roommate as adate to his ex’s wedding–”

“Shut up, that’s just her getting into your head,” Jyn insisted. “Workwith me, here.”

Cassian sighed… before leaning forward and pressing his nose into herneck. “That’s it,” she grinned. It wasn’t quite the statement she was goingfor, but it would work for now at least. From this angle, it would look like hewas kissing her exposed neck and shoulder, and she purposefully turned ever soslightly so that her face could be seen from the high table.

Sure enough.

“Oh my god, she’s coming over.”

“Shit–” Cassian nearlyspilled champagne down her back.

“Don’t stop kissing me!”

“I’m not kissing you, remember–”

“Well, maybe you should be, because we got about twenty seconds beforeshe’s here–”

He cut her off with a sudden kiss that was just on the side ofdesperate, but she didn’t care. Honestly, she’d had worse kisses before andwith worse people. She didn’t even have long to make a spectacle of it sincebarely a second later Danielle was upon them, calling out and forcing themapart.

“Cassian! Jyn! Shit, guys, thank you so much for coming!”

“Oh, Dani,” Jyn said, cheerfully. “It’s no problem.”

“The journey wasn’t too bad?”

“Nah, we road tripped it,” Jyn carried on talking, seeing as it seemedthat Cassian had been deemed temporarily speechless. As well as she knew herbest friend… really, she didn’t know at all what he was currently thinking.Hell, she wasn’t even sure if he was even out of love with Danielle yet. Like,properly and everything. He was clearly not over her, as anyone rightfullywould be, but the man had been in love with her for three goddamn years. Thatwasn’t something you could just turn off overnight.

(Jyn knew. She had tried once.)

So she kept an arm slung around Cassian’s waist and chatted away aboutmostly meaningless things for a while until he could get his bearings (and histongue) back. Eventually, he managed to cut in over the conversation with arather strained and out of the blue,

“You – great! The ceremony was great!”

Danielle blinked a little, but otherwise carried on like normal. “Thanksso much,” she smiled daintily. “Hey, honestly it’s just good to see you guysagain! It’s been too long and apparently,” Jyn noticed her gaze harden just slightly around the edges. “I’vemissed a lot.”

“I s’pose there is a lot to catch up on,” Jyn noted. “Bodhi says hi, bythe way, and Kay says you can go something anatomically impossible.”

“Oh, Kay. He never gets old,” Danielle blatantly lied. “Not that I don’tLOVE your friends, but I was actually talking about you two! Like holy fuck,when did it become a thing? It’s so exciting!”

Her tone made it clear that it was not something to be excited about atall, but Jyn feigned the same enthusiasm anyway.

“Oh, it’s pretty recent,” she glanced at Cassian for help confirmingtheir made up story. They had spent their eight hour car journey here creatingit and honestly, it she had thought it worthy of an Oscar or two at one pointbefore they’d forced themselves to tone it down a bit.

“Hold up, hold up,” she had said somewhere around Yosemite NationalPark. “The key to a good lie is simplicity. The more dramatic, the more detailsyou have to remember, the less believable it becomes. You’re a decent bloke,but not even Danielle is going to buy that you surprised me with a weekend awayto Paris.”

“But I was going to photoshop us some photos and everything,” Cassianhad mock-complained.

“Maybe we save that story for when Danielle ultimately invites us to herthird baby shower,” Jyn rolled her eyes. “Let’s just go with the ‘we hooked upwhile watching a movie one night’ story.”

“But that one’s boring.”

“Are you kidding? It’s not boring at all,” she had insisted. “If anything,it’s the most romantic shit I’ve ever heard! I mean it’s two best friends andflatmates who have known each other for years taking a chance one night andhaving it pay off, like this is fucking romcom gold.”

“Ok, fine,” Cassian hadrelented.

She might have also thought of pitching the entire thing to Hollywood,but that wasn’t the point to be focusing on here. Danielle was still standingin front of her, impatiently waiting to hear some epic-worthy tale that couldpotentially rival her own and considering the expression that was currently onCassian’s face, Jyn knew that she was gonna have to be the one to tellit. She could practically see the man internally spiralling.

“So it just happened then, huh?” Danielle said through a strained smile.

“Yeah, one night we were watching a movie together,” Jyn quickly threwback. “Just something dumb, but it got us thinking and it was like… I don’tknow. A switch getting flicked somewhere. Next thing we knew, we were athing and we basically never looked back.”

She glanced up at Cassian. She was a little thrown to realise that hewas no longer staring at Danielle in utter distress, but now watching her. Shewasn’t ridiculous enough to insist that the story wasn’t a nice one to thinkabout – was there really anything more ideal than falling for someone youalready knew so well? Someone that you didn’t have to worry about annoying ormaking a good impression with, because they had already seen you at your 4amworst and didn’t care? – but imagining pretend scenarios wasn’t exactly goingto get you far in life. How bad would it be if she let herself indulge for aweekend? No matter how unhealthy it probably was, she wanted to pretend atleast for a little while that she had her life sorted.

(A part of her hoped that Cassian might be willing to pretend a bitlonger too).

“You know, I knew it,” Danielle hastily cut in. “I don’t know how, but Ialways knew it was you two! OMG, you’re like a movie or something!”

“You know, we had that exact same conversation on our way here,” Jynsaid, pulling back to give Cassian a pointed look.

“Well then,” Danielle’s smile was definitely edging into painfulterritory now, but that was what Jyn was hoping for. “I guess I’ll, erm–”

Jyn didn’t let her answer. She reached up and threaded a hand intoCassian’s hair, ignoring Danielle completely as she hauled him into her body.Danielle’s words died off immediately as Jyn kissed him with edge, with armswrapping around his neck and with that kind of energy that suggested that theywere only minutes away from pushing each other up against the gifts table.Honestly, she forgot the wedding, the people and the ex-girlfriend for amoment. All she knew was the inside of Cassian’s mouth and the things itwas doing to her.

Danielle hovered awkwardly for the entire five minutes it took her tofinally realise that they weren’t surfacing anytime soon.

“Well, see you guys around then!” she eventually trilled.

“–oh fucking lord,” Cassian gasped, pulling away once she was out of theirline of sight. “Oh fucking LORD, we just did that. She just did that. Am Idead?”

“Not yet.”

“I thought you said no tongue?”

“I don’t bloody know, ok?” Jyn said exasperatedly. “By the time Irealised, I had already committed. Kill me all right?”

“Nah, nah, I mean,” Cassian coughed, avoiding her eye. “the tongue wasgood.”

Honestly, a part of her wanted to simply laugh back the tongue was good? but something shot through her at his words. Maybe it was theawkward way he said them, maybe it was the fact that she could still feel himagainst her mouth, but either way something choked her throat and settled inher chest. When she looked up at him she felt her face growing hot.

Blimey.

“Jesus Christ, this was an insane idea,” he added, hastily.

“Well, we can’t go back now,” Jyn said, shaking her head. “C’mon, mate.Let’s go dance.”

(An hour later, she was still ignoring whatever it was that was in herchest).

Neither of them claimed to be good dancers, but the open bar surehelped. “Honestly, the drunker we get the better,” Jyn had added at one point,seeing as every good wedding had to be ruined by at least someone who got toodrunk to function and eventually rounded off the night with throwing up into anewly gifted vase. Traditionally, the more she and Cassian drank, the more theyembarrassed themselves and the equation only got higher when you added the twoof them together.

It was the perfect combination, really.

“CAN YOU PLAY WEIRD AL’S AMISH PARADISE?” she had screamed at the DJ atone point. “THAT’S THE SONG WE FIRST HAD SEX TO!”

“IT WAS?” Cassian had yelled back.

“JUST GO WITH IT, BABE.”

And so the last hour had resulted in many, many dances to increasinglywedding-inappropriate songs that had the guests roaring with laughter andDanielle no doubt fuming at. Jyn’s memory admittedly got a little fuzzy aroundthe fifth (or maybe sixth?) champagne, but she certainly did remember wrappingherself around Cassian and sloppily making out on the dance floor to the sultrytunes of Big Sean’s ‘I don’t fuck withyou’.

Somewhere between the sixth and seventh drinks, they discovered thephoto booth in the foyer, complete with little basket of novelty props. A largecanvas was mounted on the wall next to it, currently half full with photostrips of varying wedding guests wearing miniature hats and sunglasses. ‘Please help us make our night memorable!’ a small note read above it and Cassian had gotten the idea thistime.

“I’m going to hell for this… but Jyn, would you please make out with mein the photo booth?”

“It’d be my fucking pleasure,” she had declared.

She was still laughing about it afterwards. Their photos they hadpurposefully posted right in the middle of the canvas, complete with thescrawled message of ‘thnx 4 inviting us!’. She had lost Cassian however during a trip to the bathroom, and shetried to not make it too obvious that she was staggering back into the hall,clinging onto the nearest table to stay upright. He wasn’t waiting where shehad left him, and couldn’t see him anywhere near the dance floor. For a moment,she panicked that he had somehow tracked Danielle down somewhere and was busybegging for her back, but no, Danielle was accounted for, currently making therounds and chatting to all of her guests. She caught her eye and Jyn mock wavedwith a grin, only to turn it into a curse when the woman apparently took it asher cue to come over.

“Fucking Jesus, Dani, I’m not drunk enough for this–” she whined.

Danielle stomped to a halt in front of her. The charade was gone. Allpleasantries left at the door. This was the bitch underneath the smiles and shewas apparently not humouring her anymore.

“What is your problem?” she snapped. “Why are you intent on ruining mywedding?”

“Hey, you fuckin’ invited me.”

“I invited Cassian,” she reiterated. “If I’d known he’d be bringing you, I wouldn’t havebothered.”

“Why did you bother, though?” Jyn tried very hard to keep track of theconversation. It was difficult when one could barely stand upright. “I mean,you broke his fucking heart, wasn’t that enough? Did you really have to stompall over it, too? Who the fuck even does that?”

“Oh, like you have literally ANY idea–”

“I see you didn’t answer the question–”

“I never meant to hurt him,” she suddenly bit out. “It wasn’t as if I wanted to cancel my own wedding twoweeks before! No one wants to fucking do that, but I was getting married forall the wrong reasons. Sure, it might’ve helped if I figured out howimmature and insecure I was being a bit earlier, but sorry that I’m a dumbass bitch whotook my sweet time, ok?”

Jyn just stared at Danielle. It really wasn’t the story she had beenexpecting, but maybe it should have been. At the end of the day, Daniellewasn’t a bad person. She was certainly an annoying person, a self-centred andmanipulative person, but never bad. There was a woman in there that Cassian Andor had managed to fall inlove with after all, one that she had reluctantly called a friend. She wasstill in there.

That was good enough for her.

“Ok,” she said, simply.

Danielle nodded before taking the champagne glass out of Jyn’s hands anddraining it herself. “I am happy for you guys, by the way,” she insisted.

“You don’t have to–”

“Nah, it’s fine,” she gave a strained smile. “Honestly, maybe anotherreason I left breaking it off so late is because a part of me was secretlyhoping he would do it first.”

“Why in the hell would he have done that?”

“Because of you,” Danielle shrugged.

She found him outside.

Sat on the steps that led from the ballroom out onto the rolling lawnsof the hotel grounds, his back was only a silhouette but she knew it was him.She clung to the handrail until she could throw herself down beside him,nudging his shoulder lightly. “Hey,” she said. “you disappeared.”

He drew in a shaky, rattling breath, and it was only then she realisedthat he had been crying.

“Oh, fuck,” she said at once.

“I’m fine, Jyn.”

“No you’re not, you’re – oh,god –” She was ill-equipped to deal with emotions on her best of days! Whenshe was drunk, she may as well pat him on the head and say ‘there, there’ forall the good she could do. But still, this was Cassian so she had to try. Shewrapped both her arms around his, hugging it to her body and resting her headagainst his shoulder. Cassian sniffed loudly, rubbing a sleeve across his face,but thankfully not shoving her off. She stayed quiet until eventually, hecalmed down.

“This was supposed to be mine.”

She stayed staring off into the grounds, squeezing his arm tighter.

“All of this, Jyn. The wife, the wedding, the lifetime spent togetherforever, this was supposed to be mine. Where the hell did it all go wrong?”

“It’s not your fault,” Jyn murmured.

“Isn’t it? How did I not realise?” he said. “Honestly, there must havebeen warning signs, things that I ignored or something, because no one just dumps you twoweeks before your wedding out of the blue like that.”

“I just spoke to her,” Jyn mentioned. “Well, I say I spoke to her,it was more like she cornered me… but she said some things. Do you want me totell you?”

He shifted a little and she knew he was glancing down at her. “Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Jyn, I need to know why she did this.”

She took a deep breath. “She said she realised she was getting marriedfor the wrong reasons. She did love you, but she mentioned the words immatureand insecure, so I’m guessing she only said yes to getting married because itwas the way to hold onto you… maybe she didn’t quite grasp the finality of itall until it hit her…”

Cassian sighed.

“She also mentioned me.”

FUCK.

She hadn’t meant to say that part. Hell, she still didn’t really knowhow to process that particular statement herself, that part was supposed to beburied and ignored for the rest of their given lives! Christ in heaven, youcouldn’t even give drunk her one job! She had no idea what to say to try anddefuse the situation (or even if anything COULD be said) and so she ended upstaying silent, her grip on his arm loosening a little.

When she tried to pull away, he grabbed her hand in the dark and pulledher back, holding it tight.

“Ah, well,” he was apparently going to laugh it off. “We always knew shedidn’t like you.”

“Dunno why,” Jyn said. “I’m a splendid bitch.”

“Look, please don’t think I blame you–”

“Nah, nah, shut up,” Jyn quickly waved past it. “Either way, are you oknow?”

“I’m far from ok,” Cassian mentioned. “but at least I think I’ll be ableto get over it. Someday.”

“Good. Now let’s go bail early to piss her off one last time.”

“Sounds perfect.” Cassian was the first to move, heaving himself up onthe handrail before turning back to her and offering out a hand. Jyn stillwasn’t quite sure what exactly had gone down between them thisevening. More than a nothing, but less than a something… it waslike the idea of the two of them had simply been dangled teasingly infront of her nose and for the first time in her life, she was actually thinkingabout what it would be like to grab it. Jyn felt that undercurrent thatDanielle had always been so afraid of, the one that was currently thrummingbetween them, and the thoughts simultaneously terrified her and thrilled her…

(But they’d be fine. Tomorrow was a new day, and they would wakeup and this would all be fine).

She took his hand.

“Thanks for doing this with me, by the way,” Cassian mentioned in thecar on the way home.

“What, ruining your ex’s wedding for you?”

“Yeah, that,” he snorted. “We never mention the amount of kissing we’vedone to either Bodhi or Kay, by the way.”

“Oh, you can count on it,” Jyn said.

#rebelcaptain #ro fanfic #my fanfiction #LOOK I WROTE WORDS ASJDSJFD WHAT IS THIS #pls reblog me lol

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rhapsody-under-pressure · 7 years ago

Text

Moonlight Magic pt 7

“You two doing okay? I haven’t seen either of you two sit near each other for over a week!”

As soon as Roger asked the question, his lip curled up into a sneer. He took a vicious bite out of the red apple in his hand, scoffing a second later in response. Even with a week passing, he didn’t dare speak to Freddie until he wanted to apologise; it wasn’t like he hadn’t tried either, he had done so multiple times in the past week but Freddie just wouldn’t accept any form of talk with him. Freddie would gladly go speak to John or Roger, but as soon as he appeared, he either silenced himself or straight up left the room altogether. Of course it didn’t surprise him, he’d done this plenty of times in the past, often over petty little reasons too, but never did they occur so close to the moon. The mere thought of Freddie trying to get through the night by himself terrified him and yet, he couldn’t help but let his current contempt corrupt his thoughts. Let him go try it, see how hard it is by himself! Was a recurring thought over the past two days; with the day now upon them, however, he couldn’t help but let it start to worry him that it would indeed become true.

“Splendid! Absolutely peachy!” Brian exclaimed, taking another chunk out of his apple, the idea now not even bothering him while his anger simmered once more. “Lousy bastard can’t admit he’s wrong for the life of him! Always tries to be the mediator with shit like this when he’s almost always the cause!” He continued, tossing the apple core to the ground. “God and then he pulls this silent treatment with me instead of just talking.”

“It’s Fred. What, is he pissed about someone meddling with his clothes? Or did someone claim dogs were better?” Roger asked, laughing at his own suggestions right after.

Despite his instant panic at the true answer, Brian just shrugged it off, only revealing a sliver of the truth. “I wish I knew! I try to help him out with so much but then he barks at me for being too involved. He’s needy as all hell though and God forbid if I’m not there when he needs me.”

“Bah, give ‘im time, Bri.” Roger answered. “Probably just pissy again cause of exams coming up and whatnot. I mean I don’t even see him eat now and the guy looks like he hasn’t seen the sun in a year! Though, a few other sixth years look like that too and to be honest, I can see why. Fifth years are still worse; good lord have you seen some of them? Those O.W.Ls are scaring them shitless!” He said.

“Don’t act like you’re not nervous either.” Brian added.

“Trust me, I’m in a similar boat as them all.” Fear started to light up his face. “I mean, my whole life is basically riding on how well I do on these tests and I can’t fathom failing any of them. I’ve already seen big old Ts haunting me in my dreams.” He bit down on his bottom lip before finishing. “I guess we’ll just have to see! Bet they’re all just hyping up how hard they are so that we study more.”

Brian only scoffed, knowing full well that Roger had a lot in store if he wanted to believe that tripe. With the bell ringing, the two parted ways. Roger was dashing off towards his class, whatever exactly it was, he didn’t know; for now he headed off towards his defense class, wondering what “surprises” Jenk had in store for them. Perhaps more spells he’d learned already so that he could keep Freddie’s ass safe or some more useless facts he’d memorised the prior year to make sure they wouldn’t fall behind in any of their classes. Amazing, absolutely amazing how much time he’d put into keeping this thing a secret and what did he get in repayment? Nothing, just him being an absolute prick towards him. What he wouldn’t give to hear him say that he was sorry, sorry for what he’d said and done over the past few years and that he would just stop acting like a complete child over something this serious.

He growled as he marched down the hall, ignoring the other students who wanted to get in his way-did these kids not know what speed was-and shoved them off when necessary, earning a few nasty stares from some of the younger years. The door to his class was already open, Jenk’s hard stare meeting his for a quick second before parting. Without hesitation, he laid his work down on his desk and sat in the back, not wanting to be up front and deal with the same stuff over and over again.

As expected, it was the same old stuff again. Jenk went on about various spells: disarming and stunning (something he’d learned back in his fifth year), when to use them (something that should just be common sense), and a quick recap of dementors (a creature he knew plenty about). He mentioned how they’d start working on patroni next class after acquiring a boggart to practice with them, mentioning how Dumbledore had given him the idea. That was the only interesting part of the class and made him perk up, something he seemed to share with much of the class. Jenk smiled warmly, knowing that this was one of the surefire ways to get teenagers’ attention: dangerous activities that might kill them. After that quick announcement, he went over the creature even more so, repeating facts and attacks that Brian already knew, killing the little bit of attention that he had for those few seconds.

Despite every attempt he made, he couldn’t get his mind off of a mock argument in his mind. Constant possible retorts to anything Freddie might say continued to pop up as the class continued on. God couldn’t he just not think about him for once? Maybe then he’d actually get to pay attention, even if it was stuff he’d learned already; anything was more interesting at this point, even if that meant watching a plant grow in herbology. Brian had put up with this for years, shouldn’t he be bored of this? Revising the usual events that would have to go on tomorrow night, if he even wanted to go help out that ungrateful little brat, and then having to deal with John-John...His eyes widened at the thought. It wasn’t the same thing, they had John to deal with. The little fourth year had no idea what it was like and was probably as anxious as Freddie was, though in all the wrong ways; he must be bustling with anticipation to see a werewolf for the first time and completely immune to any fear over what that creature actually did. Brian, in all honesty, couldn’t fathom the idea of being in the same room as another one ever again. Maybe that’s what was keeping him so fixated upon this argument; proving Freddie wrong might mark some kind of change in their relationship and one change often led to another.

“Mr. May, would you like to answer the question?”

Jenk’s booming voice struck him like a tree branch, snapping out of his stupor as both the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors stared at him, awaiting the answer to a question he didn’t know.

“Well?” Jenk asked, “Why are dementors used in Azkaban?”

He took in a deep breath, wracking his brain for a composed answer in the few more seconds of silence that followed. “They’re used there to literally suck the soul out of the prisoners there, ensuring that none would escape due to being left in an empty state. They don’t use the kiss, but they do remove much of the happiness left in the prisoners because if they don’t have any happiness, they’re only left with their worst memories.”

“Very good Mr. May, five points to Ravenclaw.” Jenk said, now returning to the lesson, beaming after getting a well worded answer from one of his students, though Brian knew if any other student had answered the way he had, they would’ve gotten far more than five points. See! There it was again! The fact that all his hard work that he’d put into keeping Freddie safe was now harming the rest of their house. If Jenk didn’t know he was ahead in the class, they could’ve gotten more points and gotten closer to winning the cup! Brian angrily sighed, looking back down at his open book that was probably on the wrong page anyway. Forget it, just forget it. If he wants to believe that he can handle this on his own to prove something to me, fine, let him. He can do whatever the hell he wants and that’s fine.

…

With night now falling, Brian was left completely alone. Both John and Roger were in their perspective houses, unless they’d snuck out to be together in some undisclosed location, and Freddie, as expected, wouldn’t say a word to him. When he’d gone into the dorm, he saw his figure buried beneath his blankets, either fast asleep or pretending to do so. He only scoffed at him, wishing that he had the nerve to whack a pillow across that bastard’s face. In the end, he just grabbed his things and went down the the common room, staring at the purple flames that were brightly lit, curling into little blue wisps that contrasted the golden embers beneath. He just stared and stared, his mind drawing a blank after it going completely nuts earlier.

A soft tapping came from behind him. In the light of the almost full moon sat a rather large owl, a letter sitting in his beak as he continued to tap at the glass with his talons. Brian got up, raising an eyebrow in curiosity as he unlocked the window to let the large bird in.

“Felix!? What’re you doing here?” He asked, seeing his family’s own just ruffle his feathers in response and stick out the letter towards him. Brian took the letter, Felix giving a loud squawk and earning a harsh “SH!” in response.

“Go to the Owlrey, you can go home tomorrow, okay?” Brian asked, Felix seeming to understand enough to fly off, leaving him only with the crackling of both the flames and the envelope.

Brian,

Your father’s fallen ill. The doctors aren’t too sure what it is right now but we want you to come home to be with us just in case something happens. We know how much you care about your studies and we hope that you don’t have much work to worry about at school. Dumbledore knows of the circumstances, we told him with another owl. Let us know as soon as possible.

Mum

A short message, but those dried tear stains told him why it was so abrupt. Brian could only sit down on the floor once more, constantly re-reading the letter until he’d memorised every single word in the message; the weight on his chest was continuing to build with every passing second while his mind rushed with questions. How could they not know what was going on? Was it really that serious? If so, couldn’t they have sent something sooner? No, he couldn’t blame anyone right now. Right now, Brian’s mind was focused on rushing up to Dumbledore’s study.

Before he stepped out of the room, Brian paused, giving a quick glance behind him towards the staircase up to the dormitories. He looked down at the letter, folding it up carefully and sticking it into his pocket next to his wand. As quietly as possible, he walked up the steps and entered his room. Just like before, Freddie was fast asleep, completely immune to his surroundings for the next few hours. In the soft moonlight his skin looked even paler and turned the back of his head silver. Brian clenched his jaw and walked over to his bag, pulling out a sheet of paper and a quill, wetting the tip with his tongue and scribbling out a quick message for Freddie. Without another thought, he laid it on the nightstand and left.

Wasting no time, Brian hurried down the halls towards Dumbledore’s study, dashing up the stairs until he stood in front of the massive gargoyle statue, its golden eyes staring right through his soul. In his frantic state, he could barely think, let alone remember the damned password that he’d put up for him to enter. He rambled off every sweet he could think of, starting with toffee until he ended up at ice pops, wondering what the hell he had put as the password.

“Mr. May?”

A serene voice came from behind him. He turned and saw the headmaster staring at him from behind his half-moon glasses, those piercing blue eyes showing not a bit of anger or wonder. Before Brian could even try to respond, Dumbledore stepped forward, his elegant, maroon robes flowing behind him.

“Bubblegum.” He said, the gargoyle now hopping off its pedestal to let them through.

Where on earth do you get that from? Brian asked, now following the headmaster into his office.

He said nothing to him, he just held out his hand, Brian giving him a confused look for a moment before handing out the letter to him. He gave a quick glance over the letter, a glimmer dancing across his eyes before he tucked it into his robes.

“I understand there’s issues at home. You need not specify anything, your mother gave enough in the letter she gave me.” He said, giving nothing else before walking over to his enormous fireplace. A loud squawk sounded from his right, Brian jumping until he saw Fawkes looking down at him from his perch, now cleaning his wings and completely ignoring his presence. The room turned green, Brian watching the flames lose every shade of red and yellow and glow a brilliant emerald with streaks of white.

“If you need anything you might’ve left here, send an owl.” Dumbledore said, now stepping back to give him time to get in.

“T-thank you sir.” Brian replied, now thankful that his lungs had recovered from his running.

He gave a warm smile, that sight being the last thing before Brian called out his home address before stepping into the flames.

…

“THAT BLOODY BASTARD!”

Shreds of paper laid on the floor as Freddie crushed them beneath his foot, his knuckles going white as he bared his clenched teeth; his face was heating up as every part of him burned with anger. He just left! Left without saying a single word to him and left a note to explain it all! What kind of audacity does someone have to have in order to do that?!

Freddie collapsed onto his bed behind him, his body groaning in pain at the mere act of ripping the letter into little pieces. Yet the anger burned on, trying its best to ignore the stress it was putting onto his already tired body. How could he? How the hell could he? He couldn’t bother to tell him? Hell he could’ve done so much more than leave a little letter that said “Dad’s sick, going home.” That there was such a big help! Absolutely amazing! Freddie growled again, wishing he could rip the paper up once more.

His heart began to sink as the weight upon his chest grew. Did he really not care about him? Was he so obsessed with himself that he didn’t bother treating him like an equal? Or was he starting to realise what he was and felt like he didn’t have to treat him like a human anymore-just someone who was sick and not important. To make matters worse, he had left today. Of all days he chose today. I don’t need him. He tried telling himself. I don’t, John’s there and-what’re you on about, you don’t need either of them! He pushed himself up into a seated position, shivering in his spot as he tried heating up his icy hands. As much as he tried to ignore the impending night, his mind just couldn’t shake the usual fears: hurting someone, hurting himself beyond repair, someone else getting infected; it all was just terrifying and Freddie could already feel his stomach start to twist within him.

He doesn’t care. He couldn’t possibly care. Tears started welling up at the corner of his eyes. He’ll never see you as anything but a nuisance. He wanted to scream everything right at Brian’s face or just throw a book right at it. What kind of nerve did he have to have to think he could do this to him? Surely he couldn’t hate him that much, right? So what if he hadn’t talked to him for days, that was Brian’s fault; if he didn’t want to apologise, then that’s on him. He wasn’t giving in first because Brian thought he was right. Every single time he was too stubborn, something bad happened.

Something bad happened...Freddie turned to look down at his blankets. Why did he think that? He ran his hand along the duvet, the very same texture being the one Brian had brought to him one morning. His mind could only throw flashing images at him for a few seconds: the hulking outline of the beast, the door smashing right into its muzzle, Brian’s petrified face. He didn’t know that he’d seen him, nor did he want him to know.

He was fifteen again. Brian was practically carrying him at this point, his hands trembling as he tried to hold him there while finding his wand in his pocket. The door had formed in front of them, Brian rushing through with him as he already felt his clothes grow tighter around his arms and chest. The room was suffocating and the beast was already trying to rip itself out of Brian’s hold around him. While using his last remaining willpower, Freddie just pushed Brian away as hard as he could before collapsing onto the ground. A blood-curdling cry echoed off the walls as his nails ripped through the fabric of his outfit.

The scene froze on Brian’s terrified face, constantly zooming closer and closer so that he could try and find out what was going through his mind. How could someone have so much going on in their mind in just one second: fear, worry, anger, a convoluted storm of so many emotions that they turned his eyes glassy and unfocused, almost reverting back to their primal state where everything centered around the idea of “survive”.

Everything grew hazy in front of him, Freddie finally blinking to wash away the last bit of the memory. He grabbed his blankets, trying to stabilize himself. Nothing seemed to want to work though: thinking about good things, focusing on his current surroundings, even smacking his hand against the nightstand to try and feel something different wasn’t doing anything. He could still feel the cold floor on his hands and the putrid drool that dribbled down the side of the beasts mouth. When the fact that it’d all happen tonight struck him, his eyes flew back open as his body began to twitch and shake.

Do something, try something. He got up from his spot, his knees shaking and hindering his ability to walk in a straight line; the floor seemed to be made of spikes, every step jabbing at his aching legs and soles of his feet as he finally made his way to the door. His mind began fighting with itself: the desperate half began whining at him to go get Brian so that he’d have some help while the stubborn half absolutely refused to even think of him. Remember, he left you. His lip curled up into a sneer as he swung the door open, slowly making his way down the stairs and covering up as much of his body with his cloak to avoid any probing questions from the other Ravenclaws in the common room. Thankfully, he gained no attention from the others; it seemed that majority of them were more focused on their studies than their surroundings.

Should he just go sulk in the library? Or go down to the dining hall for something to eat, yeah like that was going to happen. He turned to his left, seeing a cloudless sky in the distance. Unlike the rest of winter so far, it was no longer grey and instead gave the impression that it was a warm day in spring. He could almost see the little budding flowers among the green grass while the trees would start to grow their flowers, ranging from a beautiful white to a rosy pink. If he listened hard enough, he could almost hear the chirps of birds in the distance. But upon moving his gaze ever so slightly, Freddie could only see everything that ruined this illusion: frost still along the sides of the trees that were barren of any life, an absence of any green in the rolling fields, and absolutely no songs from any birds. Maybe in the distance there could be some kind of sign of change, perhaps it wasn’t going to be seen to the naked eye just yet, but spring would come, just as it always would.

He took a seat beneath the giant tree in the middle of the courtyard; no one was outside-who would want to be outside when it was that cold out-yet Freddie didn’t mind; the silence was wonderful, almost a gift to help ease his thoughts. Even with his body feeling so tired, a calm blanket was spreading over his mind. He reached out, playing around with a few strands of grass, the frost upon the tips melting immediately upon touching his fingertips. Every blade glistened in the light of day and made them look more white than green. A small wind blew from behind him, Freddie releasing his hold on those little pieces and watched them dance in the wind. Another wind blew, this time pushing his hair out in front of him and blocking his vision for a quick second. As his vision cleared, he could only see his still outstretched hand, the skin beneath his nails now turning a pale purple. Yet he didn’t feel it; none of the cold was penetrating his body. All he could feel in that moment was the sun shining down on his face, the little bit of warmth emanating from it immediately bringing back that feeling of spring. In that moment, right from above him, a little chaffinch flew onto the tree and sung its loud song.

…

Nerves were bouncing around, every inch of his skin was lined with little goosebumps, and as much as he was trying to force himself up from his spot in the library, he didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to see that thing again, not again. His jaw clenched as he looked up at the line of books in front of him, trying to distract his frantic brain from thinking of the night later on. Alas, it wasn’t working-but what would work? Eating-ha! He was instantly sickened by the mere thought of it. Rest in the room until then? Go find one of his friends?

Friends. Were were they? Roger perhaps was studying up in his room, John might be there too, though it was still bizarre as to why he wasn’t here, especially since he had been so excited to learn about tonight. Then there was Brian; should he even call him a friend anymore? Anyone who just left like that shouldn’t even be called that. Coward perhaps. Brian didn’t even want to say a single word to him before leaving because he was scared. Oh how he wanted to scream every curse at him or hurl a book right at his face.

He leaned over into his bag, tearing out a sheet of paper and his wand. The words immediately came out, Freddie spitting out every single thing he wanted to bark at Brian if he was right there in front of him. His wand collected every single word he read out over the next five minutes, Freddie barely pausing for a breath until he finished his rant. He put the tip upon the sheet of paper, watching it fold itself into a neat, crimson envelope.

With his anger now fueling him, he leapt up and marched right on out, shoving his way through the bustling crowds of students who were going back up to their dorms. A select few seemed to also be heading towards the Owlery, for they too were carrying little parcels or letters that must’ve been going back home, but he was the only one with a crimson letter tucked under his arm.

By the time he’d arrived, he could already see the sun start to set. His skin prickled with fear, but he pressed on, calling down one of the school owls and quickly tied the letter to its leg. He told the little bird Brian’s address, the owl taking no time in flying right on out the window. Freddie turned to head out, only to join the other students in the Owlery who were now staring over at the hunched over frame of a student who seemed close to passing out.

“John? What the hell are you doing here?” Freddie asked, John now looking back up at him with a panicky look in his eyes and readjusting the little bag he had around his shoulder.

“Ah-uh-well I was gonna try and...catch you to...eh...show you something?” He began, his face, somehow, turning darker under the confused gazes of the other students. “H-how about I go show you?”

Freddie growled under his breath and stomped forward, his own face starting to burn under the stares from the others. He grabbed John’s sleeve and marched forward, another wave of chills hitting his body once he stepped outside. As they walked down the steps, John uttered multiple apologies, all of which Freddie just ignored, his main focus being on getting back inside the castle.

“John, it’s fine, alright? Just stop your blubbering!” He snarled, John instantly shutting up from behind him.

“I-I just wanted to make sure everything was alright. I-I couldn’t find Brian and I got worried so I just...chased after you.”

“Oh don’t worry, no one can find Brian here!” He mockingly said. “That little prick went right on home without saying a single word to any of us! Not only that, he found it absolutely brilliant to just write a few words down to explain what was going on. Selfish little brat!”

“Wait, what did happen?”

“His father’s sick. Wish I knew what! But nope! Just left without specifying! Well, he can have fun with that howler. Maybe he’ll learn what an explanation is!” Freddie spat, his jaw winding up so tightly that his teeth might crack.

Upon entering the hallway, Freddie fell silent. He could already see the darkening sky outside and his fear silenced any of the once burning anger inside. He paused, his body not wanting to move any closer to the room. Those childish thoughts returned: don’t let me go in! I don’t wanna! I’m sick of this! Someone, help me...John reached out and grabbed his hand, giving a reassuring smile towards him as he lead him towards the room. Freddie just stood there, tightly gripping his sleeves as John paced back and forth three times. In a matter of seconds, the door formed, John holding it open for him as he brought himself to walk in.

He raised an eyebrow at the sight in front of him. It looked, almost homey, and yet there wasn’t a single piece of furniture. The room was a good size, roughly a dozen metres long and wide and a large window sat to the left, the navy blue sky already starting to give way to the blackness of night. Freddie just sat down on the carpet, not wanting to look around any longer. His body was already giving its occasional convulsion, all those memories starting to swarm around and only intensify his current fears.

Something struck him right in the stomach: what if something happened to him tonight? Was the last thing Brian would ever hear from him be anger? No, no it wouldn’t be, when has anything terrible happened? Surely it wouldn’t just start tonight! Right? His eyes began to water. What good was worrying going to do him? Brian obviously didn’t care about him. He might just open the howler up as soon as it got there and tune it out. His whimpering grew louder; was everything they had nothing? Did he really not matter to him? After everything they’d done together and been through nonetheless, was it just that easy for Brian to move on from him?

“Fred, you alright?” John asked.

Freddie finally became aware of John’s presence and turned to face him. Immediately, he shouted “No! No I’m not alright! Brian’s gone...A-and it’s my own fault!”

“He’ll be back soon though, you can talk to him then.” John told him.

“Don’t be so daft John! He just left that sort of letter for me! He doesn’t care...I-I know he doesn’t or else he would’ve left something more for me o-or still be here w-with…” He looked towards John. “Why’re you still here?”

“Thought you could use some company.” He replied with a proud smile upon his face.

“Comp-what’re you on about?” He wiped away wet streaks on his cheeks. “Get out of here, I-it doesn’t need company.”

“Come off it Fred, I’m not here for it, I’m for you!” He explained. “Don’t worry, I took precautions.” He motioned to behind him where a brown door sat, Freddie only assuming that another room was behind it.

“What-no! No, no, no. C’mon John, go back to your house and get back down here in the morning.” John stayed still, not budging from his spot, even when Freddie stood up and headed towards him. A look of indignation suddenly appeared on John’s face as he stared right up at him, determination shooting through his eyes.

“Fred, I know enough about these things to know that they’re isolating. You feel alone in here every single time you have to go through this. Since Brian’s never here with you, I’ll do it. I’m not going to have you go through something alone. It’ll help, believe me!” John pleaded.

He backed up ever so slightly as Freddie hovered above him. “John. Get out of here now. You don’t know what they’re capable of.” He ordered.

Out of nowhere, John’s shadow began to grow behind him. Freddie looked down and saw his own shadow interrupt the steady silver light that had already started to fill the room. Just a second of distraction was enough. The fire spread through his body and nearly knocked him right to the ground. As it took hold, Freddie’s ability to speak quickly vanished, despite him still desperately trying to tell John to leave. He could already feel his nails ripping into his outfit and piercing his skin as his clothes grew tighter and tighter around him once more. His groans of pain echoed off the walls of the room, the sound of his outfit ripping to shreds following soon after. Fear gripped his stomach as he managed to catch a quick glimpse of John. Instead of any fear, there was this terribly sad look in his eyes as he stood transfixed to his spot, unable to do anything as he watched his monthly change take hold.

Yet, there was something different this time. As his head and ears started to lengthen, a powerful scent struck the beast’s nose; it smelled of metal and something he couldn’t quite identify, and yet it smelled so familiar. Despite its spine still settling into place and its whole body throbbing with pain, the beast quickly shot up, its blood tainted saliva dribbling out of the corner of its mouth and into a massive puddle on the ground. It wasted no time and immediately leapt forward, aiming right for the door that was now shut with John peering out from behind it, his eyes wide with awe and concern. Both of the aforementioned emotions vanished in an instant as the beast reared up onto its hind legs and crashed into the door, John’s face covered with fear as he backed up, just barely missing the beast’s slashing claws through the little bars in the door’s mini window.

Growls of frustration rang through the small room, Freddie wishing he could block out all the sounds and ignore the sight of his friend right in front of him. God he wished he could yell at John right now; how could he be so stupid to want to be here with this thing? Every snarl, every bark, and every attempt to break through the wood door to finally attack the first human it’d seen in years sent waves of adrenaline through its body, every ounce of focus being put onto John and nothing else. It finally smelled blood other than its own, it finally saw flesh other than its own, and it finally saw the chance to attack and spread its disease with ease; the chance was right there, less than a few metres away from it and the door was blocking it. Freddie was immensely thankful for whatever spells John had placed on the door, but all he could feel was the beast’s ever growing frustration.

Finally, it walked away from the door, realising that this attempt wasn’t going to work. Freddie wished he could plead with it, beg it to go back to attacking itself instead of his friend, but he had no control for the next few hours. He was just a witness, a being trapped inside another’s body as it did whatever it wanted. All he could do was watch it prowl around, occasionally lunging back at the door to try and grab John. Only once did it come close and that was when John walked up to the window to get a better look, to which the beast gladly sprung back at the door and dug its massive paw through the window, the daggers just barely missing John’s face.

At one point, when Freddie was sure that a few hours had passed, the beast walked away. Freddie just repeated a silent apology to John, wishing that he knew how bad he felt that he had to witness this whole ordeal. But the mortal terror he felt an instant later put those apologies up in smoke as the beast went to the back of the room, quickly licking its chops before rearing back onto its hind legs and letting out a blood-curdling howl that bounced off the walls of the room, John’s face appearing in the small window once again. With all its energy, the beast fell onto all fours and rushed forward as fast as it could, slamming its whole body against the door and sinking its teeth into the metal bars of the window. It glared at John, trying its best to yank its claws out of the wood as it snarled venomously at him, Freddie just barely able to see its icy blue stare in John’s wide eyes. He saw nothing: no joy, no excitement, no anger, just the primal, frenzied light of a monster that was ready to dig its teeth into some part of John’s body. It growled, sending flecks of its infected saliva towards John’s face, Freddie panicking inside of the creature as it continued its attempts over and over again, trying harder and harder each time to break through the door. Even when he was sure it was starting to tire of this quest, it kept up. All the pain in its body, the blood dribbling down its arm from cutting itself on a stray piece of wood, nothing kept it at bay. Not until the sky started to glow a brilliant gold from the rising sun.

Its head whipped around at the first ray of sunlight that hit the room. Outside sat the clear sky; the east held the sun, glimmering in all its golden glory while off to the west sat the moon, casting its silvery glow for a few more moments before it would vanish until night returned.

Once its eyes laid on the sun, the pain returned to its body, its whimpers and loud cries of pain reverberating off the room as his body shrunk back down to its original size, the fur, teeth, claws, and ears all receded back into his body. With one last snap of his spine back into its normal alignment, Freddie collapsed onto the cold ground, immediately clutching his bleeding arm as all those emotions from the past hours resurfaced and grew to the point that brought him to tears.

He curled up, trying to hide as much of his body from sight as he sobbed into his folded arms, ignoring the pain in his right. Across the room came the sound of a door opening, Freddie venturing a quick glance towards John, who still had that little bag from the Owlery hanging on his shoulder. John said nothing and just sat down next to him, Freddie not daring to look him in the eye after all he had to witness from last night. Yet John still prodded at his arm until he looked up at him again. In John’s outstretched hand sat a little muffin stuffed with blueberries, in his other hand sat a bundle of bandages and some cream of some sort, and a stack of folded clothes-which he presumed were his-sat behind John. John just offered a kind smile as he took the muffin, slowly starting to work on the injury upon his arm as he ate the pastry. After getting dressed, both sat in silence, John offering him a massive sweet from his bag, to which Freddie split it in half. The two ate their halves, Freddie feeling a peaceful warmth spread throughout him just as the sunlight took over the final rays of moonlight.

#Fanfiction #Moonlight Magic #Frian

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inheritor-rebellious · 8 years ago

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Unloading weight

I'm slowly growing towards my breaking point. I hate talking about matters like this, but it matters now because I don't give a fuck at the moment. At times, I don't mind being the good guy and that's a good thing. It's always good to do the right thing. Sometimes they're even right wrongs as they are wrong rights. After these past few months, it's been making me believe I don't want to be the good guy anymore........ I don't want to be nice. I don't want to be causal. I don't want to feel concern, bothered, show sympathy, be merciful, I don't want to be someone's escape or outlet anymore because I DO NOT CARE. Ok? (I am in the heat of the moment, so to those who read this who know me personally, please don't target yourselves from own current misery.) I'm just like shit. Everything's going fine for everyone else, yet I'm still trying to swim through this ocean of everybody else's perils. The fucked up thing about it is that I don't have a problem, but the problems of those around create those problems and those problems grip grab stab attack decimate and just rip me apart, even though, I'm minding my own fuckin business and I'm doing what I see to be right as well as always doing the right thing, but it's never enough and I don't understand. What does it take? Does it really take me out of the picture just to have some moment of happiness or are their hidden emotions? What do they really feel about me that I don't know? What is wrong with me that I have a problem that I'm oblivious to? Is what I do not good enough? Do my words really mean nothing and just based off the present moment of they view me, I will never matter meet some imaginary standards do the right thing just follow the rules listen somehow I'm wrong though out this situation or situations despite that I'm the victim that no one shows empathy or empathizes with. It's always ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME MY PROBLEMS ARE MORE SERIOUS THEN YOURS GROW UP THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU YOU NEED TO SEE YOUR THERAPIST IM SICK OF YOU YOUR PROBLEMS ARENT AS IMPORTANT AS MINE YOU NEED TO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER GET A LIFE A GF GET A JOB WHY DONT YOU PAY FOR ANYTHING WHATS WRONG WITH YOU. Ok. Oooooooooooooooooook. I always question myself with how I just deal with these things, how I put it with it, how I don't off the deep end and just let off everything inside of me. So it's wrong of me not to pay for anything but I must keep giving more and more and more until I have no more and that's the right thing????? Is that really how people are about things like this even family? All of you, people, associates, friends, family, loved ones, you are all SELFISH. Just pure emotion, no logic or even type of understanding. It just makes me want to you know what? Don't even worry about it.......... I just wanted simple shit out of this year that was going good for me: a job longer then 2 months. An apartment and a car. Working on my dream like I always do and care. Especially what I think about all the time, I just want to fall in love. There. That's it. I could less if I was famous and well appreciated, but I wish I was that well appreciated right now but I'm not and never had been. It's like people never tell me these things like I've done a good job I love you you did good I'm proud of you you mean so much to me you are wonderful, I NEVER RECEIVE THESE THINGS AND THESE ARE JUST MERE WORDS THAT I HAVE BEEN FOR FOR YEARS NOW AND EVEN RIGHT NOW. I do soooooooooooooooooo much for the ones I love and it never gets what it deserves. Hell, I hardly receive rewards nor am I congratulated. I'm surprised I haven't gotten an award for not being acknowledged at all or known about this subject to other people. I will never stop loving who I love. I want and wish for great things to happen to them and even everyone I never even fuckin met right now. I always wish I had someone to check in on me, see how I'm doing, actually show the regard and feelings and the consideration instead of their selfish needs or can I have money can you do this why don't pay for this you need to start eating more. I just want to be loved. I want to date. I want to fuck. I want to have a big family with no regrets and just an honest dream fulfilled future just to make up for the things I don't have right now when I really needed now or growing up. That's what more important to me then being famous. I'm not greedy. Money ain't shit to me but I will never trade friends family or the one I love for anything else. That's the grandest treasure and my life changed 7 years ago. Even if I don't have the current person I'm talking to right now, I can accept it as it is and not a loss because the thought alone is but a beautiful life if we were together or not. It just wasn't meant to be. It's crazy because I'm taking my old love about my new love. I can't wait for the days when I hear I love you shon. I can't fuckin wait. I go through so so so so much bullshit with everyone and everything and I complain bitch moan groan die but I never quit on shit or people. I can't wait until I mean that much to someone. I can't wait until I hear and feel those words for real and it's not just hollow. I always lose but you lose something to gain something. But that day will end I can actually put a stop to it by my own terms and I will never doubt how I will do these things because I know my flaws. I know when I'm wrong, I know I'm an idiot, I know I'm probably a lot of things that you hate love resent pity empathic just can't believe it can you? Mom I love you but you can be the worlds number 1 bitch that really makes me want to flip the world or apartment upside down. I love you but if you cross lines that I wouldn't I will start fires that Travis couldn't stop. Dad you will always be grade one supreme lord man whore of all dumbass whack stupid motherfuckers dads on this fuckin planet. Tyrae always breaks boundaries and the laws of physics but you take the cake because you were before you fuckin dumbass. I honestly love my parents enough to say this crazy shit. You only love someone so much to the point where you want to kill them but you know it's real and you're not really out for blood. To my old best friend Byron. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BROTHERS WE'RE SUPPOSED TO FRIENDS NOT ENEMIES WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO US TO YOU TO ME THIS IS NOT THE PERSON THE MAN THE FRIEND THE BROTHER THAT I MET WHO CHANED MY FUCKIN LIFE 7 YEARS AGO DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT MAKE ME REGRET THAT SHIT I LIVE A LIFE WITH NO FUCKIN REGRETS NOW AND IVE BEEN ON A FUCKIN ROLL DESPITE ALL THE BULLSHIT THATS STILL BEING THROWN OUT AT ME EVEN THE SHIT YOU THREW YOU FUCKIN IDIOT YOU DUMBASS WHY WOULD YOU EVER DO THAT SHIT TO ROB YOUR ACTUAL BROTHER YOUR OWN MOTHER AND THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO ABANDON WHAT YOU USED TO BELIEVE IN HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO US TO TRAVIS TO ME YOUR SISTER MORE IMPORTANTLY YOUR BROTHER DO THESE WORDS SOUND VIOLENT OR LIKE FIGHTING WORDS TO YOU DO YOU REALLY THINK I WANT TO HURT YOU OR ANYTHING THAT YOU THOUGHT OF I ONLY WANT ONE THING AND THATS MY BEST FRIEND BACK BUT THATS TOO MUCH ITS ALWAYS TOO MUCH WHEN I ASKED FOR SHIT. Rose I love you but I can hold on until the year is over and after that, I will make the journey to see who else is like you or someone more otherworldly. I can't go any further with these feelings because there isn't much to feel anymore and we both only know half the battle. When we talk, it's like we're already married and we're trying to fix things but I only sound much more insane because I only dream and think of these nice things together when in reality we're our own people and we know who we are. But it's time you finish what you started. I hate being angry. Sometimes by my expression I can't tell if I'm positive but I know I'm friendly honest cheerful and happy with myself because throughout all that I've written out just now you know I went and I'm going through a lot just to be like this and this calm. If I shatter if I break if I fall I will put myself back together build myself kill myself to be different then what I was before. (Not literally kill myself but figuratively.) "sighs" If anyone reads this, all I have to say is thank you for understanding or I gave you a show I hope you enjoyed it.

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krayns · 8 years ago

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All :p

THANKS A! okay ill skip the ones M already asked me!

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

LOLOL, well it was the GC so I would say hey bitches wus good. ACTUALLY. I’D BE LIKE YALL CAN LOOK BUT CANT TOUCH CAUSE YALL BITCHES BE GETTING THE WRONG IDEA, and told yall bout a good million times Im just not interested. Pls take a hint.

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

WELL. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, bc he was a lowlife scrub who I do not need in my life at all. Blocked & erased my history

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

UM…. yes bc I would care about my partner and would want the best for them……. so I wouldnt want them on drugs 24/7

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

OMG its exactly 6 letter BISH.

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? YA GIRL WAS DRUNNNNK IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

OMG NO. Im never the one to mess it up SMH, im the one left to clean up the mess SMFH

7. What does your last received text say? “Or nahhh”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

LMFAO what kind of question. YALL REALLY THINK I SIT THERE AND COUNT EVERYTIME I KISSED MY MAN LIKE LOL????????? Lets just say I kissed him WAY too many times than he deserved. (V many times tho bc who doesn’t love a good smooch)

9. Where was your last kiss at?

BRUH. my ex mans house OK NEXT

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

well I have 2, and a few hours ago before they both went to sleep bc they youngins.

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Ya girl likes her steaming hot cup of TEA in the morning. Gotta have my daily tea.

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My mans crib ;) why you care tho?

13. Do you think relationships are hard? LOL. They’re hard if you make em hard. And if you’re partner is stressin you then hell yeah. But I mean no relationship is perfect. Its all about working through those hard times and that honestly makes the relationship stronger.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

YES. I would’ve left the trash ass ugly piece of garbage that treated me like shit and used the hell out of me, before I got super attached to him and let him walk all over me. DEFS wish I could’ve left his fuck boy ass long time ago, shouldn’t have let things lasted as long as they did.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO. bruh. YOU ARE ASKING FOR A WORLD WAR 3. im crying could you imagine. OH he would be shook. That or he would have the best sex of his life lbr.

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Sunny when I gotta go out, Rainy when I’m inside/ at night. BC YA GIRL HATES GOING OUT IN THE RAIN. Womans are not tryna look like a wet cat.

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

Actually yes quite a few, people I knew from school, also I think Selena Gomez? My middle name is kinda basic.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

None of the above ;)

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

PART OF ME: I REALLY HOPE SO bc ya girl a hopeless romantic

OTHER PART OF ME: HONESTLY IDEK BC MANS ARE SO WHACK THESE DAYS, HARD TO FIND A QUALITY QT, and honestly im doing me these days like mans can wait BYE

20. Does anyone like you?

Jesus! My boy JC. Dont know if anyone else likes me bc like I clearly can’t read minds so?

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

Besides family, no one else is ringing a bell

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

Nope

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

Currently: My EX, Alicia from AYTO (tv show) (snake ass bitch),

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yessss many times. Like theres so many ideas I have. I would probs get one like on my side, back, lower waist, or behind my ear? Either something cute or something with meaning.

25. In the past week have you cried?

Yes I think I had a moment the other day.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

A cockerspaniel.

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Depends on my mood. I really like showers tho, preferably with my man

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Not yet ;)

29. Do you think you’re old?

Honestly sometimes I feel old asf

30. Do you like text messaging?

TBH not really. I prefer having that face to face, talking through text is too much miscommunication.

31. What type of day are you having?

A swell day, kinda was in my feels earlier but ya girl got it together.

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

YASSSS. I’ve wanted one for a while, but now I’m like do I want one that bad? It would be cute af THO

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

WARM WARM WARM. No ones tryna freeze their ass off. Ya girls an Island baby

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Jesus Christ.

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

RELATIONSHIPS, FUCK FLINGS ARE JUST NOT FOR ME. I am not meant for that fling life

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Im quite wild tbh when you get to know me

37. What song are you listening to?

Currently: Straight Up & Down by Bruno Mars

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Hellllll YEAH

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Yes, I’d say my Moms, Ash, Rach or my sister Tia

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

OK. WELL…………………………………… dont ask me bout this rn im confused. But I kinda also have feelings for my ex ex man who wasnt really my man but still he is literally like my ideal man and ive been seeing him a few times and im triggered UGH my first uni LOVE FML fuck he has me WEAK ASF

41. When did you last receive a text message?

A second ago: so 1:55 AM

42. What is wrong with you right now?

NOT A GAWD DAMN THING BISH.

no but real talk school out here draining me. ALSO IM V CONFUSED BOUT STUFF.

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

YO thats my girl. RIDE OR DIE since 7th grade. I know her like the back of my hand and likewise for me.

44. Does anyone disgust you?

HAAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA, you already fucking know the answer. TRASH ASS EX MAN. Also fuck boys just disgust and erk my soul in general.

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Depends on who’s asking 😏 but hey if I like you, you cute, nice, funny, LOYAL, determined I mean I would probs say yes. ALONG WITH MY OTHER WANTS: smells good, good style, nice hair, kind, TALLLLLL, athletic,

But hey I mean he don’t have to fit all these categories, im just being extra here

46. Are you in a good mood right now?

Currently Yes :D

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

My mom

48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Not wearing a shirt oooooooops 😳

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

YUP. dont wanna repeat bc it was honestly the DOUCHIEST thing I’ve ever heard in my life and it makes me sick to my stomach that this literally came out of a mans PIE HOLE. i cant.

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Already gave up on em. LIKE UP OUT OF MY LIFE. blocked and erased that history

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Not really my ex ex man I still kinda like. BC my ex man was not the one that a fell hardest for so nah. IF IT WAS HIM THEN I WOULD.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

ummmmm noooo????

53. Do you like rain?

Only when I’m inside, or about to sleep. That Netflix and cuddles possible chill typa weather ya feel

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Nope, unless the liqs turns them into a monster then yes I would care.

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL😳😳😳 HONEST TO GOD IM EITHER STRAIGHT UP OR SO LOWKEY. Like im TOO GOOD AT THIS. I could be crushin so hard on someone and they would never know bc im too good at hiding it.

56. Do you like to cuddle?

YES LOOOOOOOOOVE. your girl likes her doses of cuddles. BABS like getting cuddled too ):

57. Are you shy?

LOL HONEST YES. IM SO SHY AROUND CUTE BOYS OR LIKE PEOPLE I DONT KNOW. But once I get comfortable with you whoever you are im defs not. YA GIRL WILD AF

58. Do you get along with girls?YASSSSSSSS girl power bitch. LOVE MY GIRLS. Love hyping and empowering up my girls.

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

YEA SHE MY BAE :*

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

STRESS. LOL jks but omg phone, lipgloss (bc you never know if you eva gonna kiss a QT), the normals

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

UM. NO!!!! TF! ARE YOU WHACK. NEVER WOULD YOU EVER CATCH ME IN A JUMBIE INFESTED PLACE. NAH NAH

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

YES. OBVI. I’m that long term typa gyal ;) Im that ride or die typa girl

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

LOOOOL. Lets not think back to that time, I already ctrl alt and DELETE. BOI BYE

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

um YES. stop. putting. me. in. my feelS. But lets just say it wouldn’t just end with a kiss on the forehead ;)

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

Well im cute so……….. everyday something cute happens aka ME :)

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

21, and the rest were family SO LOL

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

honestly i can do my own nails, but its nice to treat your self

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

ZEBRA, your girl is a zebra print stan, my whole room is practically this print

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

i dont own a car, but the car I drive has a “princess on board sticker” which is for my little sister but HEY its suitable for me too so

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

Lil Wayne… not about that country/ tim buck two. But tbh I dont listen to either of em

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?

IPHONE 6 GANGGGGGGGGG

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

Maybe like last year? Usually get pizza pizza

73. Do you like diet soda?

NAH, diet taste kinda weird

74. What color are the walls in your room?

Its like an olive green, but I want to re paint, maybe a shade of pink

75. Are you 16 or older?

older…. why you tryna holla?

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

I did…. show got mad boring tho.

77. Do you have a job?

Not currently, in school tho

78. What are your initials?

K.M.B BITCHHHHHHHEEEZ

79. Did you ever have braces?

nope, but the dentist always ask me if i had braces and always say how nice my teeth are :D

80. Are you from the south?

NAH NAH, IM NORTH JAX FAM

81. What does your last status on facebook say?

um???? I think I promo’ed Ash’s travel VLOG, check that shit out tho!!!!!!!

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

CRTL.ALT.DELTE.

NO BISH

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

I would say my dad bc I grew up with him? but i tell my mom and step mom more personal stuff/ everything so

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

I think it was suicide squad.

86. Do you smoke?

Nah, not on those greens fam

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

DEPENDS. On location and look.

88. Is your phone touch screen?

YUP

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

Well my hair is wavy and I usually just leave it natural. I love straightening my hair but takes way too much strength and energy out of me.

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? LMFAO YES. TO GO TO SLEEPOVER AT ONE OF MY MANS HOUSE IM CRYING @GOD forgive me father

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

DEFS POOL OR OCEAN LOL BOUT LAKE OR RIVER BYE

94. Are you single or in a relationship?

Doing me. Living life. Doing whatever the hell I want. I am happy and thats all that matters. Not letting mans bring me down, have me stressing, crying myself to sleep, or crying until i have no more tears to cry

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

Texting my squad in the GC, talking about waste mans

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

Fireworks in my heart: probably in the summer on my first date with trash

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?

YES bc I stay taking cute pics, im obsessed with taking fire pics

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

NOPE. Always know my limit

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Hate is a v strong word. I think if anyone I really disliked I’ve removed, I may have some fakes from like HS but thats about it.

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: PROBABLY TICK TOK, YO MY GRADE 7 ASS WOULD WHINE UP TO THIS SONG, MAJOR TRACK

103. Do you have any tan lines right now? noPE, but honestly i wish I did bc I wanna go somewhere warm

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