#1. life comes at you fast 2. pride goeth before a fall 3. trust no bitch

[deadpanwalking]

i'm in an otolaryngology residency program and one of the doctors has his dad's Soviet era tonsil guillotine, clamps, and adenoid curette (tastefully) displayed in a shadowbox frame with some other stuff and a photo of himself as a little kid smiling while sitting in the Trauma Chair. the doc says it makes a lot of his pediatric patients feel better to see that he got through the surgery alright, but later admitted his papa told him it was a routine exam situation. "I thought it was open say ah, but it was open scream aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"

OH MY GOD, I'M NASTY CACKLING! That's exactly how I got got. My great-aunt was a nurse and let me play with her old medic kit, so visits to the hospital were field trips where I could see my close, personal friends Stethoscope and Blood Pressure Cuff and receive a good grade in Doctor Visit for being such an agreeable child. On the day of the operation, I had no idea anything was up when the nurses situated me in The People's Otolaryngology Chair. Even when they started to tie my foot to the chair leg, I wasn't afraid, I was indignant...like, did they not get the memo that I was the rock star who only sniffled a little before thanking the doctor who'd stuck a needle in my left asscheek when I got sick last month? The nurses agreed that the restraints were absolutely unnecessary, a formality that was mostly symbolic, and thanked me profusely for indulging them. I have never been as smug as I was on that day when, after all that fuss, they told me to open and say "ah".