#17 year old me fighting crying begging dad to let her go to college outside this state was so right this place is itni si and everyone is

[delicatetaysversion]

i yearn to say the words im bi, actually and be unafraid and angry at the other person for assuming im straight instead of being scared and hoping they won't tell everyone and they won't leave

[cajunladyjaclin]

A Little About Me

𝒥𝒶𝒸𝓁𝒾𝓃 𝐵𝒶𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒢𝓊𝒾𝓁𝒷𝑒𝒶𝓊 "𝒥𝒶𝓀, 𝑜𝓇 𝑅𝒶𝒷𝒷𝒾𝓉"

Born: August 21, 1988 (33)

Parents: Alexandre and Gabrielle Guilbeau

Sister: Mistique Guilbeau (11)

Uncle: Gabriel "Gator" Guilbeau

I was born in Shreveport, Louisiana one hot and humid night in August of '88. Mama had a rough time delivering me so the docs decided to do an emergency c-section when her blood pressure bottomed out.

I loved my Uncle Gator and when he took a job in Bozeman, MT I begged my parents to let 17 year old me come with him. They knew I'd be safe but letting their little girl go wasn't an easy choice though they eventually let it happen. When I first came to Bozeman I was much like a fish out of water learning the area and getting teased for my Cajun accent.

It didn't take too long though before I made friends and really found my groove. Then my senior year of high school I met a handsome 22 year old named Jordan King. He was a single daddy to a precocious (and oh so damn cute) 1 year old named Journee. Seeing him with his little girl just made me giddy and before long I was getting close to her, becoming a mama to her and she a daughter to me. It was her birth mama's parents that were an issue always saying that Jordan was a bad guy and not fit to raise their granddaughter much less have someone like me around her.

Boy did that ever fire me up. They knew it, but I was smarter than they seemed to think because I never once hit either one of them or got in their face outside once when they decided to corner me and had Journee crying. Talk about mama bear mode being activated.

I'd always wanted to become a lawyer and the fight Jordan had with his baby mama's parents had me really wanting to dive in to that ring so when I was 23 (Journee was 5 going on 6) I left for Shreveport and college. Jordan being the reason I followed that dream. I stayed in constant contact with Journee though via texts and calls because I was her mom. End of. I was her mom.

When I got back to Shreveport though I was hit with a surprise. My dad had fathered another child a girl named Mistique outside of marriage with another woman. That one stung but when I met the little bundle of cuteness I fell in love with her. Her mama was a sweetheart and my mama knew all about it. Sad thing was my daddy, Alexandre died of a massive heart attack when Misti was 3 and then my mama died 4 years later of a brain aneurysm. Life royally sucked for me during that period of time and I wanted to reach out to Jordan just to tell him what was happening and to hear his voice, but texts all sat in saved without sending. I didn't want to potentially mess up anything he had going on.

All the while Journee kept me up to date with who her daddy was dating.. calling each one money grabbers or gold diggers. So when I decided it was time I come home to Montana I worked with Journee to surprise Jordan.

Now to see where life leads...

[harringrovehouse]

Love Him for Who He Is.

In 2012 Tommy needs some advice from Billy.

“Hey Dad?” The door opens and Nora’s head appears in the crack, Billy barely glances up from the reports he’a trying to file.

“Yeah baby girl, what’s up?” Normally Billy would have given Nora his full and undivided attention, but he only had a small amount of time to finish these reports before his paternity leave kicked in and he’d be locked out of the system for the next six to eight months.

“Well uh Mr. Hall is at the door, you know that Mr. Hall. Yeah he says he needs to speak with you.” Billy paused from signing his name under ‘Sheriff’ and looked up at his daughter, she stood in the doorway shrugging. “He didn’t say what it was about. Just asked if my dad was home.” Billy sighed and stood up, pushing his chair backwards and making his way to the door. Nora backed up, her arms opening wide as she gestured him towards the door. Billy rolled his eyes at her.

“Don’t you have homework to do?” She shrugged again.

“This is going to be far more interesting than Geometry.”

“Homework, now!”

Nora gave a huge sigh and rolled her eyes, walking back upstairs to her room. Billy waited until he heard her door close before he continued towards the door. Stopping to collect his thoughts before he opened it. They hadn’t seen Tommy since they moved back to Hawkins, it had been at the annual 4th of July picnic/free swim at the community pool and Tommy had been drunk. Like drunk, Hopper had taken him in for being 3x over the legal limit. Steve had been playing with their new baby girl, Hailey, tickling her tummy while he kept an eye on Nora and Chase in the kiddie pool. Billy had left his family just long enough to get drinks and burgers, he had looked away for just a moment before Nora’s screech had brought his attention right back to them.

In the time Billy had been distracted Tommy had stumbled up to Steve and started hurling slurs at him. Calling him a fag, and yelling about how they shouldn’t have ever been given kids in the first place. Tommy had grabbed Steve’s tank top and hauled him up off the blanket, Steve had only just managing to avoid stepping on a screaming Hailey.

Billy had dropped the items he was carrying and raced back to his family but before he could get there Steve had straightenedup and cleaned Tommy’s clock, hit him so hard Tommy stumbled backwards and into the pool. Where a bloom of blood had erupted and caused people to jump out of the water. Billy collected Hailey in his arms just before Steve had whipped around and kissed him, in front of god and the whole town.

“Anyone else got issues with my family!” Steve had asked when he pulled away, knuckles bloody and face hard. No one had bothered them since then.

Tommy had been fined for public intoxicating and disturbing the peace, he and Carol had then moved to Indianapolis for a few years. People in the town still gave Tommy the odd look here and there but for the most part he seemes to have cleaned up and kept on the straight and narrow. That didn’t mean Billy trusted him around his family, Nora and Chase had had nightmares for weeks after the incident and Steve hadn’t slept for a week worrying that the whole damn town would be after them next. Billy had wanted to take them back to California, but Steve insisted that they stay. For his Mom, for Max and Lucas who were young parents struggling to go to college and keep food on the table, for Joyce and Hopper. They’d returned to Indiana for their family, and Steve wasn’t about to allow Tommy Hall to ruin their fucking lives because he was a bigot. If anyone else in the town had an issue well fuck them too, Steve had no problem breaking their noses too.

Billy schooled his face and opened the door. Tommy was standing on the other side, looking pale and shaking as he clutched his hat. “Tommy.” Billy greeted, leaning against the door, blocking the inside of the house from view.

“Uh, Sheriff.” Tommy looked up at Billy’s face and then back down to the ground. “How are you today?”

“Cut the small talk Hall. My kid said you needed to talk to me about something? Someone steal the neon from shop again or something?”

“No, uh no this is more personal.” Tommy shuffled.

“Okay, wel if you need to file a report or something Hank at the station can help-“

“No!” Tommy winced at how loud his voice had just gotten, eyeing Billy’s badge. He’s shoulders sagged and he rubbed his face. “I need to talk to,to” He seemed to struggle with the right words.

“Me?” Billy offered and Tommy nodded dumbly, Billy sighed. When he took over the job from Hop no one told him he’d also become the most unqualified therapist this town had. “Fine, make it quick.” Billy closed the front door and motioned for Tommy to follow him around the side of the house to the side garden, to a small table and chairs. Tommy feel heavily into the chair Billy offered and scrubbed at his face.

“I’m really sorry.” He mumbled and Billy gave him a look. “F-for coming to your home, but I didn’t know who else to talk to and you weren’t at the station.” Billy raised an eyebrow, Tommy had been to the station? “I know I’m probably the last person who should be asking for any kind of favor or advice, but Billy, man. I’m so lost right now.” Tommy looked up at him and Billy could see it, he could see the man drowning behind those eyes. And desite their personal history Billy was still the Sheriff, and it was his duty to serve and protect the people of Hawkins. That included Tommy Hall.

“What’s happening man?”

“It’s Troy,” Tommy and Carol had two boys and two girls. Troy was their oldest boy, he and Nora were in the same age. Billy knew Troy very well as well. From 6th grade to 10th grade Troy Hall and Nora Hargrove-Harrington had hated each other, more than a few times they had both ended up in the Principals office because their fighting had turned physically. It wasn’t until the middle of their 10th grade year did that change, Billy was sure no one knew exactly what but the two of them seemed to have reached a compromise and where no longer in danger of being expelled every other week.

“Oh. Uh he and Nora, they haven’t been fighting again?” Steve would have said something if Nore and Troy had been taken to see their Principal again, but Billy couldn’t remember anything like that being mentioned.

“No! No in fact Nora’s been really really helpful. She uh she’s the one that convinced Troy to tell me.” Tommy seemed to have lost the ability to form words again, Billy sat back and watched him flounder until finally Tommy sighed and looked skyward. “Troy came out to me today.” Billy felt his mouth open a bit, he had not been expecting that.

“Wow. That’s a big step.” Any kid who came out deserved an award in Billy’s opinion. But especially one who had a father like Tommy. “He’s a brave boy.”

Tommy seemed to struggle with something, tears forming in his eyes before he nodded. “He thought I wouldn’t love him.” And then Tommy was crying into the table, Billy jerked back a bit in surprised before he huffed and pulled Tommy up.

“And what the fuck did you say to that?” Billy didn’t have time for Tommy’s shit.

“I said nothing could ever change how I felt about him! He’s my fucking boy!” Tommy looked a mess, it would have been sad to see a full grown man like this but Billy understood. To a degree. “I-I’ll always love him! He and his sibling could burn half this country down and I’d still love them more than anything in this world.”

“Okay! Then why you here man?!” Billy was lost.

“Because man, I love him but the rest of the world, they won’t.” Tommy wiped at his face and dropped his head. “I treated you and Steve like shit when you first came back, let those old bastards down at Bill’s run their mouths about you guys. Call you fags and shit. I let the drink run my mouth for me. I wasn’t worth the air I had, and now! Now my boy is going to have to head out into the world and deal with all the same type of people.” Tommy’s shoudler shook and he looked up at Billy helplessly. “How do I protect him from that Billy. How do I!”

Billy swallowed the lump in his throat and stared at Tommy. Billy had always assumed Tommy, like a majority of people in Hawkins, was just a productive of his small town environment. That he never experienced the real world so he never related to people outside of their own cirlce of ‘normal’ and that they weren’t self aware enough to realize that the world wasn’t as cherry pie as Hawkins was. Billy was both pleasently surprised that Tommy seemed to realize how shit his behavior had been and absolutely dumbfounded that Tommy also realized that now that he knew his child wasn’t ‘normal’ like Hawkins wanted to define the word that he’d be subjected to the same behaviors that Tommy had once forced upon others. It was a strange feeling, realizing your old high school friend wasn’t as stupid as you always thought he was. Billy guessed it was partly from finally maturing past the mental age of 17 and being a parent.

“What do I do Billy. How can I keep him safe.” Tommy was practically begging this time and Billy sighed.

“You love him Tommy. Love him like you always have.” Billy thought bitterly about his own father and about Steve’s, about how they had vowed to never become a thing like those men. “You love him because you’re right Tommy, this world ain’t shit and no one is going to love them as much or as hard as you man. You’re his Dad, no one is every going to mean as much to him as you do. You and Carol are that kid’s whole life. I know he probably doesn’t act like it, but trust me, loving your parents and wanting your parents to love you back is something every kid wants. But the need to be loved, and the fear of being turned away, even by your parents is so strong when you’re the gay kid.” The sharp pain of Neil’s hand across Billy’s face when he told him about Steve was still fresh on Billy’s face. Neil had been hitting him for years before that, but to have that final blow happen sealed the deal. Neil had never loved Billy. But Tommy, Tommy wasn’t Neil. He might have been a loudmouth and an asshole for a bit but he had always been a good Dad to his kids. All he needed to do was continue exactly what he had always been doing. “Just be there for him, love him when he needs it, be his support system when need one, be there for him when bad things happen. Because they will Tommy. He’ll get hurt, by words and maybe even physically so you need to be there. Make up for the shit the world is going to throw at him, that’s all you need to do.”

Tommy broke down again, and this time Billy placed a hand on his shoulder and listened to Tommy’s fears and concerns. He listened to Tommy until the sky began to darken, and Steve’s car rolled into the driveway and Tommy’s phone buzzed.

“It’s Troy.” Tommy said with a sniff.

“Answer it man.” Billy watched as Steve poked his head around the side of the house, one eyebrow raised before he gestured to the bags in his hands and headed inside the house.

“Yeah bud, of course I can give you a ride. Don’t even worry.” Tommy hung up and smiled down at his screen. All four of his kids smiled back at him. “He just got done with baseball practice, asked for a ride.”

“Go get him man.” Billy stood and Tommy followed quickly, hand out.

“Thank you Billy. Thank you so much man, and I’m sorry. I-I really am.” They shook hands and Billy nodded, he and Steve could handle themselves. They’d put Tommy and his shit in the back of their minds.

“Just be a good Dad to your son Tommy. He deserves that.”

They walked to the front of the hosue together, findinf Steve, Nora and Hailey unloading the grocery bags. Billy watched as Steve gave Tommy a look, before returning to the grocery bags.

“Thanks again Billy.” Tommy shook his hand again before disappearing into his truck and driving away.

“What was that about?” Steve snorted, shoving a couple of bags into Billy arms.

“Troy came out to his Dad today.” Nora supplied, digging through a bag and pulling out a thing of M&Ms. Steve took them away from her, and shoved them into his front pocket. “Heyyy you said you’d get those for me.” She pouted and Steve handed her the eggs.

“After dinner. And did he? That’s very brave of him.”

“It is.” Nora agree, snatching the candy back when Steve wasn’t looking. “He was really worried that his parents weren’t going to be okay with him but I told him my Dad would shot his Dad if he hurt him and that he could come live with us if he needed to. It took a bit but he’s said he finally got the courage to tell his parents this morning.” Steve and Billy looked at each other, at least they finally knew what had happened in 10th grade.

“Did you now. You know you’re father is the town Sheriff, he can’t just go around shotting people.” Steve told her. Nora narrowed her eyes at him.

“I was talking about you. Dad would just use his fists.” Billy made an offended nosie, he’d come a long way with his anger management. Nora tossed him a look. “And I’d have helped!” She ripped the M&Ms open and dumped them into her mouth.

“Hey! Dinner!” Steve grabbed the last of the bags and chased their daughter back into the house. Billy watched them go, a heavy content feeling in his chest. He’d never gotten the same level of love he knew Tommy had for his son, but that didn’t matter anymore, Billy’s own children had grown up knowing their fathers loved them, enough to offer them up at substitute fathers for a scared boy. Billy supposed he’d was doing something right.

————————-

This idea came to me and I just needes to write it down. I liked the idea of Tommy being a dick to Steve/Billy when they came out, but then his own son comes out to him and suddenly Tommy realizes what a shit person he was and goes to talk to Billy about it. Also idk I like Hall as Tommy’s last name they’re probably gonna give him some dumb stupid long ass last name just to fuck with us XD I can feel it!

Hope you like it!

[dontshootmespence]

Passive-Aggressive Partnership

Parts 1-16 @coveofmemories @bleedreid @my-xomatosis-s

Part 17

                                                           -----

As Y/N walked into the room, she steadied her breathing and tried to take note of anything about the young boy that might help her during the interview. This was the boy that killed Deacon, there really wasn’t any doubt about that, but there was something that drove him to do what he did - something she and the members of the BAU desperately wanted to stop. Judging by the doll, he hated his father - and they shared the same name - but he did like Batman. A lot apparently. He was wearing a Batman t-shirt today. 

“Hey, Batman,” she said softly. When she’d walked into the room, he’d been straight-faced and scared, but she did notice a small smirk form at the corner of his mouth. “My name is Y/N.”

From across the table, he looked up, searching her frame, presumably for a badge. “I’m not a police officer, sweetheart. I’m a doctor.” 

“The kind that makes people better?” he asked, still looking down at his fingers that were twiddling in his lap. 

“Not that kind, actually. I examine people after they’ve died to see how they passed away. What about you?” she asked. She were going to play around with this Batman thing. It seemed to be working so far.

He looked at her confused, so she clarified. “I mean, by day, you’re Cash, but at night, you put on the mask and become the Caped Crusader.” She made circles with her fingers and brought them up to her face to simulate a mask. That made him smile.

“Batman never lets anyone push him around and he fights for those that can’t fight for themselves,” he said. He was proud of Batman, but as much as he wanted to be him, he didn’t think of himself that way. “But I’m not Batman, I get pushed around all the time.”

That was the opening she needed. When Spencer had been filling her in on the case, she asked what she was supposed to use to open him up; Spencer said she’d know. “You’re not the only one, you know? I got pushed around too.”

“Really?” he asked sweetly. It was as if he thought he was completely alone in his suffering. “Who pushed you around?”

“A professor in college,” she admitted. It wasn’t like she wanted to broadcast her past to the other members of the team, but if being honest got him to open up, then she’d do it. “He was a very bad man, but I was able to get away from him and I’ve never had to see him ever again.” He was still looking down on occasion, so she leaned down on her elbows. “You know, Batman. You can get away from your bad man too. I can help you.”

Cash’s lip started to quiver. “It’s going to be okay, honey,” Y/N said, extending her hand across the table but not touching him. “Just tell me what happened.”

It didn’t matter what he started with - Deacon or his own father - she just wanted him to talk. This poor child had been through enough. “I didn’t want to hurt him,” he said softly as a tear fell from his eye. “He was gonna tell his parents about my dad.”

“Deacon knew about your dad?” she asked. She didn’t want to say too much. She just wanted to feed him enough feedback to keep him talking. “Why didn’t you want him to say anything?”

For the second time so far, he looked directly at her. “Because then my dad would hurt me more and no one would do anything anyway. Dad said so.”

His father had threatened him on top of physical and sexual abuse. Y/N wanted him dead, but she kept her focus. “What did he say?”

“Dad said that no one would ever believe an 11-year-old. He has friends that are policemen. They’d never believe me.”

“I believe you,” she replied as the tears filled her eyes. “I believe you, Batman.”

“Dad hits mom all the time,” he started. With a sigh of relief, she let the tension in her shoulders go. He was talking. “He says she can’t do anything right...he doesn’t always hit Callie and Grace, but I try to help mom, so he hits me a lot. It’s always somewhere I can cover with clothes.” His father was a sneaky fucking bastard.

“Is that what Deacon was going to tell his parents about?” she asked. She assumed not. That was likely something Deacon’s parents had already picked up on, but it would be much more difficult to pick up on another kind of abuse. He bristled at her question, bring his arms up to hug himself tighter. “It’s okay. You can tell me. I’ll protect you.”

At first, Cash looked away ashamed. He didn’t want to admit what his father was doing, and Y/N was afraid she had lost him. “He comes into my room at night,” he whispered. “He says that’s how fathers love their sons, but he’s lying. Deacon said so.”

“Deacon said his father didn’t do that. That my dad was a bad guy and if I told the police, I could make it stop, but I told him my dad had friends and it wouldn’t make a difference,” he said, hesitating before he began again. “I didn’t want to hurt Deacon, but when we were walking out back he said he was going to tell his dad, and I got scared, so I pushed him to the ground and I put my hands on his neck! He was kicking and crying and then when I got up he wasn’t moving! He was my only friend...Joseph didn’t even like me. I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” When he finished rambling, he burst into tears, his face turning red as he ran to Y/N’s side of the table and hugged her. 

She was caught off guard, but he trusted her, so she allowed him to bury his head in her shoulder and cry. “What happened with the Boy Scout uniform?” she asked. That was the one piece that didn’t fit. It made it seem like it wasn’t just a crime of passion; there was some part of him that was curious. 

“It ripped during the fight,” he said softly. “I was mad and scared and I didn’t know what to do. I thought it was the only place to hide it.”

“Listen, Batman,” she started, taking the scared boy’s face in her hands. “I can’t tell you exactly what’s going to happen, but I can tell you that your father will never, ever touch you again, okay? I promise you. He’ll never hurt you, or your mother, or your sisters ever again.”

He continued to cry into her shoulder until he couldn’t cry anymore, practically falling asleep until she stood up to go outside. “You stay here, sweetheart,” she said, as she placed his head on the desk. “I’ll be back.”

Quietly, she stepped out of the room and released a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “You did great,” Hotch said. “I know that couldn’t have been easy for you, but thank you.”

“Please tell me I can keep my promise to him,” she begged. “His father won’t be able to get near them again, will he?”

“No, he won’t,” Spencer said as he gathered her head to his chest. “The mother thought the father was abusing him but she was too scared to say anything. While you were in there with him, we told her and she broke down and confessed everything he’d ever done. He’s not getting near them again.”

Thank god. “What’s gonna happen to him?” she asked, looking inside to the sleeping boy who wanted nothing more than to be superhero. “He knows what he did was wrong. Is he gonna go to jail?”

“He’ll probably end up in juvie for a few years,” Emily said. “He’s too young to be tried as an adult and he seems to be remorseful. Given the circumstances, he probably won’t be going away for long.”

JJ piped up from the back of the room. “And when he gets out, his father will be in jail.”

“Should someone go and let Deacon’s parents know what happened?” Y/N asked. They should know what happened to their little boy. 

Rossi nodded. “As long as your up to it, why don’t you go with Reid?” he suggested, motioning toward Hotch for approval. 

“Okay, but before I go, I need to go talk to him again,” she said, as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “I need to tell him it’s going to be okay.”

                                                          -----

“You okay?” Spencer asked, as the two were driven to the Fullerton’s house. “You did a great job.”

“Thanks, babe. I just feel so bad for Deacon and Cash. Deacon was just trying to do the right thing by his friend and Cash was scared of his father. His father is the one who should be going away for murder,” she replied, staring out the window with tears in her eyes. “Disgusting son of a bitch.”

As they pulled up to the Fullerton’s house, the same officer that had accompanied Spencer to the Hensley’s said he was going to wait outside. He was sickened by the whole thing. He’d been duped by a man he thought he knew and three children, four if you included Deacon, were victimized. “Let’s go do this,” Spencer said. “You can do this.” He grabbed her hand to help her out of the car, giving it a reassuring squeeze as they approached the door. 

Knock. Knock.

“Mr. and Mrs. Fullerton?” Spencer said as Charlotte opened the door. “I’m Dr. Reid, this is my colleague Dr. Y/L/N.” He looked down and realized he was still holding her hand and released it. He had introduced her as colleague after all. It was probably unprofessional. 

“Did you figure out what happened to Deacon?” Mr. Fullerton asked. 

“Yes, I’m sorry to tell you that Cash Jr. is the person that killed your son,” he replied, watching as the shocked parents were consumed by wracking sobs. 

“What happened?” Charlotte asked. “Why would he do such a thing? We love that boy like he was our own.”

It was at that point that Y/N felt the need to speak up. “Mr. and Mrs. Fullerton, Cash Jr. was being physically and sexually abused by his father. Deacon knew and wanted to tell you, so that you would tell the cops and Cash would stop being hurt. But his father had threatened him to never tell anyone, so when Deacon said he was going to tell, Cash panicked, which is what led to his death.”

“Oh my god,” Austin cried, turning around and throwing a vase across the room. “That bastard! Is Senior going to jail?”

“Yes, he will be as well,” Spencer said. “We just wanted to come by and tell you the whole story.”

Charlotte swallowed hard and asked the last thing either one of them expected. “Where is Junior? Can we see him?”

“He’s at the station now,” Spencer responded. “Are you sure you want to see him?” He and Y/N knew how they felt about the whole situation, but it would’ve been rational for Austin and Charlotte to hold a grudge against the boy. “That might not be such a good idea.”

Austin placed his arm around his wife’s shoulder. “We really do love that boy. After we lost our little girl, we found ourselves getting very close with the Hensley kids. Junior may have killed our little Deacon, but it’s his father’s fault.”

“I want him to know we don’t blame him. He’s been through enough,” Charlotte cried. “Can we please see him?”

“Yes,” Spencer said as he showed them out the door. “You can come back with us.”

Ten minutes later, Y/N, Spencer, Officer Perry, and Mr. and Mrs. Fullerton were back at the station. “They would like to see Cash,” Reid said to Hotch when they got back. 

“Go on in,” Hotch said, opening the door. 

As the grieving parents walked in, Junior’s shoulders stiffened. “Cash honey,” Charlotte said. “We know you were scared. We know you didn’t mean to hurt Deacon.”

“I didn’t want to,” he sobbed. “I was scared. I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

Cash flew into another fit of sobs. Against what everyone suspected, both parents embraced the little boy, the one that killed their son, and told him that everything was going to be okay.