#2. what body type to give chica (it feels weird to me to make a character obsessed with eating fat?)

[biblically-accurate-dca]

more human(?) sb guys

[zitrolena]

What’s meant to be will always find a way (2)

1st heads-up it's long; 2nd heads-up: I'm not sure how fast I'll upload the next one. Conclusion: Hope you still like it :)

(Chapter 1)

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Chapter 2: Nothing is the same, except everything and nothing is.

Athazagoraphobia – the fear of forgetting; being forgotten or ignored; or being replaced.

She doesn’t know how she has found herself here. Well, of course she does but it doesn’t make her register it more either.. Firstly she asked Amira for Joanas current address, ignoring the face that Amira made that could either mean ‘Why are you doing this to yourself?’ or ‘Why are you doing this to her?’.. Cris can’t decide which one would be worse.

Now, standing in front of the large building, fixing her braids, breathing out, breathing in, she finally builds up the courage to knock on the door.

3 knocks are all she manages before she leans back again, stiff like a stick. Her heart beating in her chest, pulling against it as if it was trying to get out before it breaks again. Scared. When she hears the creak of the opening door she closes her eyes for a second; not ready yet. Not ready ever.

“Heyyyy!!!”, the familiar voice screams before Cris feels arms pulling her into a soft hug “You’re back!!”.  Cris immediately hugs her back, actually thanking her body for reacting when her head felt like infinite loops of ‘What the fuck’s.

When the girl ends the hug, she looks at her with an excited grin in her face. Her light-brown locks, a little shorter than Cris remembered; are falling around her cheeks landing on her pink T-shirt. She looks almost exactly the same; still seeing Viri has never confused Cris more than at that moment.

The infinite loop hasn’t stopped when she finally manages to speak again. Weirdly chuckling she murmurs “Haha yeah”. Trying to hide her confusion, Cris raises her arms in the air and strengthens every muscle in her face; Faking excitement never feeling as exhausting as at that moment “Surprise”.

It isn’t as if Cris hadn’t planned on seeing her friends again, of course she did! She actually planned to crash Amiras party on the weekend and pull a more existing surprise than the one she did right now. She missed them and wants to see them as soon as possible. But not here. Not now. Not when she wants to see Joana.

“Since when are you back?”, Viris smile widens “God, you must have so many stories to tell”. She claps her hands exhilarated. “And oh my god, wait!”, she grabs one of Cris’ braids “Am I delusional or is this shorter?”. It is. Travelling through the Asian-heat with long hair was actually like accepting a slow and painful death, so she cut it. Like some kind of restart; she wants to grow it back though.

“Only 2 days..”, Cris leans from one foot to the other “But I wanted to settle in a bit before meeting all of you again.. and yes”, she answers and brushes her fingers over her bare arm, which is covered all over with goosebumbs either because of the april weather playing games or her body just now fully processing the whole situation. A bit late, fella, but thanks for the delay . 

Viri immediately notices the goosebumps on Cris’ arm and tells her to come inside, almost pulling her with her.

The apartment is beautifully decorated, with some drawings by Joana which Cris immediately notices the second she enters through the door. She could register her drawings everywhere. Viri slowly leads her to the big gray couch and both of them sit down.

Like so often, Viri is still wearing a big smile on her faces when her eyes suddenly widen and she quickly looks down at her watch, almost terrified. “Shit!!”. She jumps up in a quick motion and starts shaking her head “Chica, I love you. But I gotta go, I have classes with THE WORST teacher EVER. I’m really really sorry!!”

She picks up her bag and looks back at Cris who still sits on the couch as if someone put her into stand-by-mode. She really feels like someone did. Viri starts talking again, getting kind of nervous at the thought of her teacher “We could meet another time or you could stay cause J-..”… And then there’s the click. Viris body seems to calm down for a second and she slowly registers everything. The whole reason Cris is here.

She pulls her lips together into a soft smile and starts shaking her head again “Just stay!”, she bits her underlip in excitement “She’ll be right back”.

You could literally see her fangirling on the inside from the way she tried to hide a grin. And with that big hidden grin and her white bag in her hand she disappeared through the door, leaving Cris alone in the apartment of her ex-girlfriend. 

“B-Bye”, Cris murmurs completely aware of the fact that there’s no way Viri could hear her.  

-----

It takes a while for Cris to fully process everything that happened in the last 3 minutes and when she does, she comes up with the conclusion that it couldn’t have gone any worse. Wait till Joana sees you, she thinks but slowly brushes the thought away. She built up the courage to get here and now she wasn’t planning on giving up the second it got hard. Or weird.

Slowly she stands up from the soft cushions and looks around. There are drawing everywhere, almost on every wall, and if Cris were to count them she’d say that there are around 30 drawing she’d swear are Joanas. They are colorful, full of yellow, orange, red, violet and every shade of blue. Happy colors. Cris pulls up her hands to touch her cheeks, trying to ground herself; trying to get her heartbeat to a normal pace again; trying to whipe her big smile away. Happy colors.

She cups her face a little more almost as if she was trying to squish her smile out of her face. Happy. Joana. She feels a heat rising in her chest, that special kind she hasn’t felt for a long time. Joana.

For Cris, there are four different types of heat in your chest: the one where you want something, the one when you’re drunk, the one where you miss something or someone and the one where you’re undeniably happy. She feels the last one now.

She has arrived home again. At least it felt like that.

When she hears the clicking sound of the lock, quickly followed by the creaking sound of the wooden door being opened she turns around. She feels unprepared, still not ready, but knows that there isn’t going back now. There’s never a going back.

Joana looks unprepared as well; understandably. Who would expect their ex to be standing in their living room after not being in contact for 15 months? Her upper body is leaning forward while her feet are still right next to the door whilst she’s actually keeping her hand on the door handle as if she’s preparing for escaping through the door again.

Her hazel eyes are fixated on the blonde girl, looking up and down as if she’s not sure that she can trust her eyes yet. Her dark brown hair is put in a bun showing the green highlights on her hair-ends. That’s the only change Cris can register in the first few seconds of them looking at each other from across the room, both not saying a word. She still looked like Joana. Her Joana.

“Hey”, Cris’ voice is soft, mimicking the heat that she still carries around in her chest even though her big smile is now covered by a nervous one. She feels like a little girl mentally preparing herself for a presentation at school.

Slowly Joana lets go of the handle in her hand and her arm loosely falls next to her body. “Uhm hi”. She looks confused, of course she does, but it bothers Cris that that’s the only emotion she can register from Joanas eyes. The only other sign of emotion is her voice vibrating when she says those 2 words, but everything other than that makes Cris feel like a stranger.

Cris points behind herself “Viri let me in..” her hand finds her neck “I didn’t just break in or something “, she chuckles trying to break the awkwardness.  

It doesn’t break.

It doesn’t even crack a little bit.

Joanas seems unbothered, seemingly distracted even, and starts moving from the door to the kitchen and puts her bag on the kitchen table. “Aha okay”, she says calmly while pulling one item after the other out of the bag, storing it in the fridge but leaving a loaf of bread outside. As if it was a normal day. As if nothing was different.

Cris feels as confused as a couple minutes ago; waiting for Joana and then actually being greeted by Viri. Just that she feels like waiting for Joana now whilst actually talking to her. She doesn’t know what she expected but that definitely isn’t it.

“I- I just came back and..” Cris starts stammering while Joana cuts off a slice of bread with a fast motion, that makes Cris bite her inner lip before she starts talking again. “And I came here, because I wanted to see you.. bec-“

Cris jumps up at the feeling of something brushing her bare legs. She looks down at a little white fluffy creature with brown-green eyes looking at her. In the back of her eyes Cris registers Joanas confused look while she pushes herself up at the counter and looks over to the little fella, that is waddling between Cris’ legs, brushing over each side, waiting to be stroked.  

“Madame!”, Joana hisses and claps her hands trying to get her cat away from her ex. The fact that Cris is the only guest Madame hasn’t scratched before she gets comfortable enough with the idea of them stroking her, isn’t helping either.

The cat, totally unbothered by her owner making that sound looks up at the blonde human over her, ready for her pickup. Cris immediately follows that demand and starts caressing the back of the soft cat. She can feel Joanas eyes on her, darting through her. Watching every move as if she isn’t sure that she likes what’s happening.

“Madaaaaame”, Cris mouths, pulling the head of the pillowy cat to her “You are such a cutie, I love you already!” and softly gives kisses her fur with her eyes closed. Joana starts biting her nails at that comment, still standing behind the kitchen counter, trying not to look at the softness of that moment.

When Cris opens her eyes again, she immediately notices the little violet collar and the words printed on it “Madame de Tourvel”. And with that, the heat in her chest is back again. She pulls the fluffy cat against her chest, against the warm feeling inside of it.  

“What are you smiling about?”. She hears Joanas voice, seemingly so far away but yet so near. Cris doesn’t look up, she wouldn’t want Joana to look away. Being watched by her while looking away was still better than being ignored.

Cris makes a grimace “I’m not smiling”, she murmurs while shaking her head, not even trying to wipe the smile off her face. She pulls the cat closer to her as if the soft fur of the cat and her purring was some kind of shield against Joana. In some way it works.

Joana grunts, opening the fridge next to her and taking out a slice of cheese. “You have a big ass smile all plastered over your face, Cris”. The mention of her own name out of Joanas mouth only makes her smile grow wider. Even if she said it while being annoyed; at least she registered her existence now.

“Huh.. I don’t know”, Cris chuckles leaning against the fluffy fur that’s tickling her chin “I guess I’m just really happy then”. With you. Even if it looks like you want to kill me. She knows she shouldn’t have said it, but she doesn’t care. Standing in front of Joana, even if she has the biggest frown on her face, feels nice. Unreal but yet so meant to be.

Joana murmurs something under her breath, smacking the door of the fridge shut.

Cris watches her amused. “I think your mommy is mad, Madame”, she whispers into Madame de Tourvels ear, her grin making her voice sound much higher than it usually is. She’s talking in her baby-voice and she doesn’t even know why. Her defense for saying that…well, she doesn’t have one. The cute cat in her arm. The stress. Seeing Joana again. All this is making her feel high both in the good and the bad way.

“I’m not mad”, Joana denies. The lie is plastered all over her face, even though she looks away.

Cris chuckles; if there’s one thing she always notice about Joana it’s when she’ uncomfortable or mad. Talking to her then felt like talking to someone you don’t know. Just like now.

But the fact that her eyes finally talk for her gives Cris some confidence. Cris pulls up the cat again, turning her around so that her green eyes look directly at Joana, with Cris’ blue eyes right behind her doing the same. “Madame, what do you say? Is she angry or not?”

Slowly Joana looks in her direction again and they lock eyes from across the room, just like they did so often before. It’s as if they’ve both been hypnotized, in trance, dancing through the room without actually moving.

People say the eyes are the doors to the soul and if that is true Joanas and Cris’ souls have been connected since the first time they met at that step outside the club. Just like they still are now. Just like they always will be. Nothing is the same, except everything and nothing is.

In slow pace and the cat still pressed against her chest, Cris walks across the room, as they talk without saying a single word. Joanas body is both stiff and also loose, leaning against the counter as if she’d faint if she moved.

She looks attentive, annoyed and like she’d want to scream another A-word at the blonde girl that is coming dangerously close to her again.

Now standing in front of Joana, with only the cat between them, Cris finally lets out the breath she didn’t even knew she held in. She takes Joana in, every detail, she couldn’t register from afar before. Her brown hair that is lighter now because of the summer-sun. Some freckles that are covering her cheeks and making her look younger. And those hazel brown eyes, those beautiful eyes that are fixating on her right now. And her soft lips. So close.

Cris’ cheeks blush immediately, and she looks away “I’m sorry”, she laughs not being able to keep the energy that is bottled up inside her in anymore. “You know how I am with cats”. Actually nothing was not because of Joana, but it was obvious that something inside Joana wouldn’t wanna hear the real reason.

She gets back into reality when the purring animal starts moving in her arms again. “Here”, Cris says softly while brushing over Madams fur one last time before she carefully cups her little body and heaves her in Joanas direction, closing the space between them some more. “I guess she misses you”

Their hands brush each other and even that little touch is enough to cause the heat in Cris’ chest to spread everywhere, from her head to her toes. Both of their hearts beating at the same speed.

Like a song moving them on the inside. A song that, this time, is not playing.  

“I actually get that”, Cris whispers, mostly to herself, but Joana is too close not to hear it. And the damage is done before Cris can take it back. She shouldn’t have said it, but she doesn’t regret it either.

“Don’t say that”, her voice is demanding, so Cris doesn’t answer and instead looks away, her head burning from the awkwardness. She’d never thought that Joana could intimidate her that much again. She looks to the counter, the toast that Joana prepared so forcefully while they “talked” being the first thing she notices. Cris starts chuckling again, obviously completely unable to act or think like a normal human being in front of Joana anymore, the uncomfortableness between them only making it worse.  She feels like a complete lunatic being around her now.

“Why are you laughing again?”, Joana asks, focusing on the “again” while looking behind her to the kitchen counter confused.

“You forgot the oregano”

Joana squeezes her eyes shut  “Can. You. Not..”, she bites her lip, trying to not let her smile show now that she can’t cover it with her hands anymore because she’s holding her cat “Fuck…Just.. Shut up”.  The memory of the terrifyingly bad toast floods back to them and they both start chuckling, like 15 months before. Finally feeling like them again.

Like so often, and with their usual luck, it was exactly that moment that Viri enters the room, opening the door violently “And? How was-“, an uncomfortable smile immediately covers her face when she notices that Cris is still here. Right next to Joana. Well not that near anymore, anyways.  “Criiiiiis, hey. You’re still here!!”

“Yup”, is all Cris manages to answer. If the awkwardness had passed with their laughter it was definitely back again now.

“So uhm..yes..”, Viri awkwardly folds her hands into each other “..-I-I’m going to my room”, with a big smile she walks through the living room “See you, Guapas”. 

She entered as fast as she left,  but the moment is gone already.

Joana looks back to Cris and takes another step back.. distancing herself from her some more. “We’ll see each other, okay?”, she murmurs scratching her head “Now that you’re back..”

Now that we have to, Cris thinks and hopes that Joana doesn’t.

 And with that another goodbye was said.

[hockeyfun]

David Pasternak #2

@dad-marchand request: Could you do one where you have had a major crush on David Pastrnak forever and you finally meet him when you win the shirt off their back raffle. Then he thinks you're cute

Word count: 2221+

Warnings: none

You didn’t know David Pastrnak personally but your circle of friends had run-ins with his group of friends every now and then. With that being said, you had the biggest crush on the Boston Bruins hockey player. He was amazing. Not only was he extremely attractive but he was passionate, loyal, and goofy. He didn’t care what people thought about him but instead he cared about how people treated those close to him. He was everything you looked for in a guy. You followed each other on social media but other than that there wasn’t any type of friendship there, but even in the short encounters you’ve had with him you still had a crazy crush on him. He was everything perfect for you.

You and a group of friends owned a set of season tickets. The last game of the Boston Bruins was one that was circled on your calendar from the moment the schedule was released. Your friends knew how important hockey was to you. You lived for it. After a bad day at work you always looked forward to cuddling up on the couch and watching a game. You had a special place in your heart for the Boston team as seeing that’s where you lived. You walked into TD Garden with your three closest friends. You wore your favorite and lucky bruins shirt with your ripped jeans and heels along with a cute yellow flannel around your waist. You had your hair styled in the middle part and wore a cute choker necklace. It was the perfect outfit for the game. Your heart was so happy the moment you walked into the arena. The place was buzzing with an indescribable feeling. There was no fans like Boston’s fans. You sat down in your seats with your best friends. You were only four rows up from the glass. When the game started you could have sworn David Pastrnak head nodded at you and your friends. You turned to your best friend with a questioning look. It was as if she was reading your mind, “Did Pastrnak just.” You nodded your head not even needing her to finish her sentence, “Yeah, I saw that too,” you finished. You both gave each other that weird quizzical look and burst out laughing. There was a reason this girl was your best friend. During the first intermission while your two other friends went to get drinks, you and your best friend talked. The Jumbotron showed an advertisement of the special annual ‘Shirts off their back’ event. In order to be put into the raffle the person had to text ‘BRUINS’ to a specific number. In the past you always did it, but this year you weren’t feeling it because you never win anything. Your best friend saw you looking up at the screen, “you going to do it?” she asked. You shook your head in response and explained yourself. “Oh, come on, chica, you know you want to. What’s the worst that happens? You don’t get it?” she persuaded you. You finally ended up taking her advice and entered the contest.

You weren’t expecting to win the contest. You were just relaxing during the second intermission when your phone buzzed. It didn’t even cross your mind that it was the contest. You looked down at the text that detailed what came next now that you won. You looked over at all your friends, “guys, I won,” you showed them. Your friends instantly started freaking out. They were so excited for you. Your best friend kept repeating over and over how she knew it was going to happen. Your stomach was doing flips and for the rest of the game you couldn’t even pay attention. It was four minutes till the end of the game. “You better get going,” your best friend nudged you. You nodded your head looking at the text. ‘Meet in the concourse outside of section 122 with 3 minutes and 30 seconds left in the third period’. It was time to go. You squeezed her hand as you left towards the concourse.

When you got down there a few people came around and told you the deal on how this was going to go down. They were going to give you an envelope and a number on it. You all had to line up in numerical order. You weren’t allowed to look into the actual envelope until instructed to do so on the ice. It was an exciting moment for you when they handed you your number. You waited anxiously next to the people around you. Many emotions filled you. It was weird how you were worried about being seen down on the ice even though you were so excited to be there. You heard the end of the game horn blow and the rush of cheering from the crowd. You waited there as the voice over the speakers went through the three stars of the game and then through what happens with the shirts off their back event. The first person in line began to move and your excitement grew. What player would you get? Would they be nice or mean? Secretly you were hopping you didn’t get David because he might think of it as weird. You didn’t want this to ruin your semi-friendship. Fate has a funny way of working though. You stepped out onto the carpet that was laid on the ice. You looked around, taking it all in. It was amazing the view from down there. ‘This is what the players see all the time’ you thought to yourself. You heard your name over the jumbotron. You looked a little surprised but snapped back into reality. You gave a happy smile as they instructed you to open your envelope. You opened it and showed it to the camera. “David Pastrnak” Your stomach flipped. You wanted to laugh at the irony. He skated out onto the ice and looked at you. He quirked his head at you a little not believing it. He smiled at you holding his name. When he reached you he gave you a quirky “hey.” You smiled back feeling the heat rise to your cheeks, “hey,” you responded. The both of you stood there for a second smiling at one another. To everyone else it seemed just like a nice short moment, but to you and him it was a long shared moment between friends. He was jolted into reality when the woman next to you coughed awkwardly, “oh right, my jersey,” he laughed. He pulled it over his head. and tugged it off gently, he handed it to you. You took it with a large grin, “whoa, this reeks,” you accidentally commented out loud. David let out a cackle. The video camera man moved on but the photographer did not. “Picture,” she yelled at you and David. You nodded your head and held out the jersey. He placed his hand on the small of your back causing a shiver to go through your body. The woman took the picture, said thank you, and then moved on. David lingered though unlike most of the other players. He knew he was causing a bit of a commotion but it didn’t matter to him. He stared at you in all you glory thinking how insane it was that fate brought you to him down here. He leaned in to whisper to you, “meet me by the locker room once you get off the ice. I’ll tell one of the people to give you access.” You nodded your head in response, “of course.” He smiled a bright toothy smile, “good.” He skated off towards the people in charge of the event telling them what was up. They didn’t seem to look that pleased about it but in the end they agreed. After the big group picture, you walked back to the inside of the arena. You had a moment of doubt on whether you should proceed to the locker room area or not. You didn’t get much of a decision when a business woman came up to you and pulled you aside from the rest of the group. “David said you’ll be joining the families in the waiting area,” she states cleanly and professionally. You nodded your head.

Once you reached the area with the other family members of the players, the woman left you. You stared at those around you. The woman all stood and talked with each other. It was obvious where the friend groups were. You felt some of their eyes stare at you. They were obviously very confused on why you were there, some woman even glared a little. You heart sank. “You know, if you wanted my jersey that bad you didn’t have to enter a contest to win it,” your heavy accent friend called out to you. You looked at him in all his glory. “You know I was kind of hoping I was going to get Brandon Carlo,” you joked back. He squinted his eyes at you a little bit, you could see the shock in his eyes for your playful wit back but he obviously liked it. “Well you know what I think?” he questioned as he took a step closer to you, “That fate made you win that contest and fate made sure you had my jersey,” he said huskily. It sent shivers down your spine as he spoke about fate. Not wanting him to get the better of you, you responded with more wit, “I think fate is just a lame excuse,” you responded. He looked at you taking a step closer. He was so close to you that his entire frame was pretty much all you could see. He was closing you off to the rest of the arena making it feel like it was only you and him in the world. “I think fate isn’t done with us yet,” he responded strongly. His voice was low and almost a whisper but you heard what he said and it made you feel like you were dizzy. You placed your hand on David’s abs pushing him away from you in hope it’ll clear your foggy head. David didn’t budge. His strong hockey frame has one up on you. Instead he pulled you in closer to him by placing his hands on your upper arms. “See, it’s already started,” he laughed. You glared at him for making you feel this way. He laughed at your playful glare. “Come on I’ll drive you home,” he stated as he released you from his grip. As you were finally able to see around the big hockey player, you noticed almost everyone had left leaving practically alone with David. “Oh shit, my friends,” you forgot. You pulled out your phone seeing you had a time of text messages from them. You gave your best friend a call. You walked off talking to her. David stared at you. You looked happy and as if you were trying to tell your friend everything without telling her because he was standing there. You laughed and his heart kept. How could he not have noticed you before. To be honest, he has always known you were beautiful. He always liked your pictures on Instagram and you were one of the few snapchat stories he looked at, but now something was a bit different for him. He liked flirting with you. He loved that out everyone who applied for the contest you were the one to win his name. That had to mean something, and now he wasn’t going to let that go. You hung up the phone after your conversation with your friend. You caught David staring at you which caused the both of you to blush. “They’re waiting for me out front,” you nodded. Your face showed no bit of sadness that the night was coming to an end but you sure felt it. ”I’ll walk you out,” he insisted. You bit your lip pretending to think about it, “okay, I guess,” you joked. David just shook his head at you and lead you out of the arena.

The walk was not long enough. It felt like seconds went by but at the same time it didn’t’. The friendship that blossomed on your way out of arena was like fate truly was pushing you two together. It was more then shameless flirting, it was more then a little crush. You felt that deep inside your heart. He felt that deep inside him. Unfortunately, you both reached your destination too quickly. He stopped a bit abruptly, turning towards you. His body language telling you that he was into you. He looked at you giving you a smolder look. “Come to dinner with me?” he asked quickly. You were a bit taken aback. “I can’t, I have to go,” you replied looking over at all your friends waiting in the car for you. You saw their eyes all on you, basically pressed against the car windows. He laughed, “I know, but promise me you will let me take you dinner sometime?” he asked again. You let out an exasperated laugh. You wanted to say yes, everything you wanted to say yes, but you are holding yourself back. It didn’t feel right. You had been pining over this boy for months now and then all the sudden fantasy becomes reality. He grabbed your hands pulling you close to him. “Come on, don’t let fate think she’s wasted her time by bringing you to me. Let me take you out, on a proper date. Then afterwards we can decide whether to go separate ways,” He commanded of you. You stared at him, astounded at this seriousness that he just brought on. His blue eyes staring at you. You could get lost in them if you stared much longer. “Okay,” you whispered back knowing even if you said no David wouldn’t take it but you didn’t want to say no. Why fight it. “Perfect,” he smiled a toothy grin. You, feeling bold and filled with adrenaline, put your hand on his cheek and leaned on giving him a small kiss on the other cheek. “I’ll see you at that date,” you whispered in his ear. You turned and walked off towards your friends without looking back.