#4AM AND IVE HAD COFFE LETS GOOOO

[thatqueervampire]

YESSSSSSSS, I WANT TO SEE A TWINK GO ON A BLOODY MURDER RAMPAGE BECAUSE HIS LEATHERDADDY GOT TAKEN BY THE BAD GUY, HE'S JOINED BY A PAIR OF VISCIOUS LESBIANS, A GAGGLE OF EXISTENTIALY CONFLICTED BI PEOPLE, MULTIPLE PEOPLE IN THE GROUP ARE TRANS/ENBY

there are 3 mcr songs in the director's cut, it's 5 hours long. With intermission breaks

There's a satisfying ending.

ONE OF THE MESSY BISEXUALS (further denoted as 'bisexual²') GETS INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN OTHERWORLDLY BEING

There's a t4t couple in the gaggle of bisexuals.

The twink is one of the most sturdy motherfuckers in the group, and get regularly RAGDOLLED in the numerous boss fights.

they have to go to hell, they take a train there and back, it's just for groceries to make snacks because there's a 30 minute domesticity break where they get to make food and sleep in comfy beds.

A FEW OF THEM JUST FUCKING DOGPILE ONTO ONE BED.

the aformentioned bisexual² doesn't sleep, instead they just kinda chill on the balcony(and smoke weed of course), they start looking less and less human as the movie progresses.

THE BAD GUY IS EWAN MCGREGOR, WITH THE SAME GAY ASS POWER TRIP HE DOES WHEN HE'S PLAYING FLAMBOYANT CHARACTERS, he fully drops it when the final fight comes, and it's FUCKING brutal, at least 1 of gays dies there's no warning shots, McGregor IS ONLY GOING FOR FATAL STRIKES, ITS ALL SWORD-FIGHTING.

One of the lesbians just fucking bodies McGregor with a double barreled shotgun (he dies).

The last 30 minutes is the most lovingly crafted conclusion, it wins an Oscar for best screenplay.